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When I am older I want to pretend I have memory loss because that means I can get away with anything and nobody can say anything to me.

I would also like to get a car chase with the police because I can just say I did not remember the speed limit and it's really fun to see the police all mad and they can't do anything to me.

I would like to start a riot at a football match between Celtic and Rangers by throwing a bottle in the Rangers side of the stadium and just walk away. I would like to do this because it's fun just to throw a bottle at somebody for fun and they can't blame me.

I would like to stick my middle finger up at people passing by on the bus. I would like to do this because when they realise I am swearing at them, I will be away and they will be annoyed.

When I a m older I want to be able to beat up little kids and say that they were bullying other kids. I want to do this because when I was young I used to get bullied and the kids can't say anything to because all adults listen to other adults.

When I am older I want to pretend I can't walk properly and need some help even with a walking stick. I want to do this because it'll be fun to make sure all the young hot girls will help me out.

I also want to pretend I'm blind and have to wear special glasses and then go into big supermarkets and go on a mobility scooter top speed and I want to do this because I want to see people's faces when they are nearly run over and nobody can say anything because I'm obviously blind.