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The only obsession I had was with me, I was trying so hard to find myself again that I had forgotten most things. I was spiralling out of control and no one had a clue, and I wish I didn't either. Work was overloading me, A-levels are the worst, and in a way I regretted doing them. I had no time for things I wanted to do, it was college all week then work on the weekends at a job I hated, but I guess I needed the money. Throughout this breakdown I was having, I had no best friend to confide within, as she was gone. And I was not one to talk to my sister or mum; they wouldn't understand and only shout or moan at me more. So I had no one I could spill my guts to, and no one to give me any sense of comfort. So I turned to music and I listened to it day in day out, my headphones never left my ears. I also read a lot, books witch always featured love stories, and romance and that would only dampen my mood more. So in all I was stuck as this confused, scared, unhappy young girl, and at 17 I shouldn't be feeling this way. My thoughts were always negative, and when I tried to think positive it only turned into negative again by the end. My mind ached a lot of the time; I guess that it's called a headache but I only brought them on myself. Even whiles I slept it was uneasy, having the same dream of being late and rushing and rushing but never actually getting to where I was meant to be going. It's frustrating, to feel so out of control for so long, and now it's finally time I gave up.