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I woke up in a hospital to the sound of a generic beeping life-support system. The beeping soon arranged itself into words, and I sat quietly, listening to the machine complain about how it always wanted to be an X-ray.

I eventually gathered the strength to lift myself up onto my elbows and look around, but there wasn't much to see, so I fainted again, and woke up later.

Later:
I woke up again, and heard the life-support machine grumbling about how the MRI scanner was always being promoted ahead of him. No, I thought, that's enough, I'm going. I pulled off the covers and tried to get up, but failed and ended up calling for the nurse.
*
I was discharged from the hospital later that day, diagnosed with stress (apparently, it's an infectious disease now), advised to get therapy, and I went back out into the insane world. I walked across the zebra crossing, listening to signposts speculating upon whether it was white with black stripes, or black with white stripes.
*
I drove into work the next day, and the car complained about me hurting it when I shoved the keys in, complained about being hungry as it ran out of fuel, and generally complained a lot, in a wheezy, sore voice. I arrived at my workplace, heard the lift complaining about how it was a bit lost, staggered up the stairs, which said 'Ouch!' when I stepped too hard on them, and sat listening to the air-conditioner wheezing and coughing.

I absent-mindedly tapped at some buttons on the computer, which told me off for being lazy and went into hibernation. I hadn't told anyone about what had happened. Who'd believe me anyway? No, I had simply tried to ignore the voices and get on with my life.
Big mistake.

I had, however, after insistent nagging, fixed the window and tried to sit on the chair less often. I really couldn't be bothered to fix the air-conditioning though. I had tried to get the vending machine working after listening to its complaints of constipation, but I gave up. I did get some funny looks when, after I was told to fix someone's computer, I started asking it what was wrong;
'Well, I was surfing the net one day, just idly browsing all the news websites, when in came a little e-mail.' The computer spoke in a high-pitched voice. I wondered if it was a female computer. Yes, I decided, it was.
'And?'
'Well, I decided to open it and see what it was all about, and it just said nothing at all. I blocked the address afterwards, of course, but now I've come down with a nasty virus.' she said
'What symptoms have you experienced?'
'Well, I've lost all feeling in my internet, and my Publisher program is playing up. And don't even ask about my Paint-Shop Pro!'
'Well, I think this is a very serious virus, Mrs. Dell.'
'How serious?' her sound circuits wobbled uncertainly.
'Well'' I turned to the person working on the computer, who was staring incredulously at me. 'You'll have to get a new one.'
'NO!' screamed the computer's speakers. 'I knew I should have used a Firewall!'