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Title: Perfection City (I'm still playing around with the title, but that'll do for now) READ PLEASE :)

by Jamsey123 from Scotland | in writing, fiction, novels

The Year - 2016
Alice awoke to the sound of cars and people talking. She lay on the ground in an alleyway, as people walked past, they gave her looks of disgust. She opened her eyes and could only see a bright shining light. The brightness of the light made her shield her eyes.

‘Where am I?’ she asked herself

She stood up and brushed herself down.

Why is everything white?’

Alice look around. Everything here was white and pure. Not a single drop of colour touched the floor or walls. She came out of the alleyway and was greeted with a crowd of people who looked at her with piercing eyes.

Woah, what is wrong with these people?

She looked at herself and then to the passers-by. Everyone was wearing white. She instead wore denim jeans of which were torn to pieces and a white t-shirt of which read in bold black letters - PERFECT = NOBODY. Over the T-shirt lay an oversized black leather jacket with silver studs of which shone in the light.

Beyond the sea of people, a great, hulking tower stood before her. Without think too much she ran carelessly over the white bricked road and stopped at the entrance. She analysed the see-through sign outside the building.

Tourist Information?

She turned around slowly and looked at the large crowd of people almost moving robotically.

Where the heck are all the tourists? she thought. Where were the large backpacks? The camera’s? The astonishment of a newly discovered city?
She turned on her heel and headed into the Tourist information building. She opened the door expecting nothing but white. She was right. She slowly made her way to one of the open desks to the right of her. Alice seemed to be the only tourist in the whole city. The Tourist Information building empty apart from the peoplw behind the desks who sat there, eyes wide with what seemed anticipation. Nobody moved a muscle. All at once, without any reason, everybody’s head shot to the direction of Alice. The Tourist Information building was equipped with plasma screen TV’s all of which all turned on at once. Alice was frozen in the middle of the floor.

What have I done?

A great booming voice came thundering out of the speakers dotted around the room.

‘Welcome to Huxley! The great city of purity where all your dreams can come true. Make sure you check out our lovely park situated on Hugh Street. You won’t want to miss it. Everyday we let go of one of our Doves from the Bird Sanctuary. This is to symbolise our commitment to our wonderful, pure leader - Fredrick Jasper. Join us. Today at 2pm at the Park, you won’t want to miss it.’

Suddenly the TV’s switched themselves off. Alice was still frozen in the centre of the room. And all the eyes were still upon her. During the speech nobody had taken their eyes off of Alice.

Let’s get out of here, it doesn’t look like I’m going to find any answers.

She quietly took some steps back until the door handle was jabbed into her back. She gave a bleak smile and quickly opened the door and headed outside. The sun shone bright and hit her with its hot rays. She looked around and saw everyone standing still, staring at her, a few seconds later everyone started to move again. She rubbed her eyes and stared into the sky. Blue was the only colour in this white city. She wanted to get out. She didn’t even know how she happened to be in a city like this. The last thing she remembered was getting into bed and falling asleep and then waking up in a bright alleyway. It seemed like a nightmare to Alice.

Please be sleeping. Please.

She lightly pinched herself.

Stop being silly Alice, that never works.

She slumped down onto the stairs of the Tourist Information building and looked around in despair.

What am I doing in this crazy City? How far away am I from home?
She sat there for some time until some people blocked the sun of which was beating down on her petite frame. She looked up and saw two people looming over her. They both looked around the same age as Alice.

‘Hi!’ The girl said.

She had shoulder length brown hair and a warm gentle face. Nothing like the weird people in the Tourist information building who’s hair was plastered to their scalp and looked as though it was spray painted white.

‘We noticed that you looked rather sad. So we decided to come over and make you happy’. She spoke like a 10 year old.

Alice just smiled bleakly and opened her mouth to say, ‘I’m okay thanks, I don’t need any help. I’m…’ She needed think of something fast to get away from these strange people. ‘…I’m going to the park!’ She smiled, ‘…to see that Dove thing!’

The girl turned to the boy and whispered something in his ear. The boy’s face didn’t move and was instead fixated on Alice’s eyes. Alice was sick and tired of these strange people so she decided to get up and go.

‘I’ll see you later!’ She said as she rushed off.

The boys eyes followed her. The girl turned around and shouted, ‘Wait for us! We’re coming to!’

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes.

I just want to go home. Leave me in peace. She thought.
She turned around and forced a smile as the girl ran towards her. The boy slowly followed the girl, his eyes still fixated on Alice. The intensity in his eyes sent shivers down Alice’s back.

‘I haven’t properly introduced myself yet!’ The girl said. ‘My name is Sophia and the is Jack’ She turned around to Jack.

It looked as though his face was made out of stone. He still hadn’t said anything. Alice nodded.

‘I love your style!’ Sophia said. ‘You have guts! Nobody would ever dare wear something like that here.’

Alice looked Sophia up and down. Her attire consisted of a knee length white dress with white tights and white shoes.

‘And look at your eyes! So sparkly!’ Sophia put her hand out to touch the powdered black eye shadow upon Alice’s face.
Sophia’s face was pure. She had no make-up upon her face
‘I’m surprised nobody has said anything to you yet?’

‘My name is Alice.’ she stuck her hand out.

Sophia smiled, ‘That’s such a pretty name!’

They stood in the spot for quite a while. Alice started to feel very awkward and looked at her watch. It read 1.55pm.

‘We should go to the park now, we don’t want to be late’ Sophia said.

Alice looked up and nodded. Sophia and Jack ran on without Alice. Even though Jack had his back to her she could still feel the intensity radiating from him.

These people are weird.

She slowly started to follow them. She was in no rush.

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4.00 out of 5

Seeing as it's summer I've decided to begin writing a novel. I'm really passionate about writing. I would love if you were to read this half of the opening chapter of the novel and tell me what you think. I'm not the best writer and would love it if you were to give me advice on how to make my work better. Thanks.

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