Next Year I'm Going To Save The World.
A few listeners have noticed the amount of travelling I do and have written to tell me that my personal carbon footprint is leading to global catastrophe. Thanks. No really, I was sleeping too well anyway. Now I read that some listeners may themselves be adding to the problem by tuning in to the wrong sort of radio. I'm not suggesting that some radio stations pump out more damaging hot air than others (insert cheap joke about rival broadcaster) but that the problem lies with the kind of device you use to tune in. Have a look at from the Media Guardian and you'll see that digital listeners get most of the blame.Listening to the radio is still more environmentally friendly than watching television and both are greener pastimes than, say, rally driving or testing nuclear warheads. Still, there's no room for complacency.
So here's my action plan for the year ahead:
1. Persuade the powers-that-be to invest in a really good video-conferencing system for the new Ö÷²¥´óÐã building in Inverness. It has to be the kind that makes you look thinner and can pick up the pay-per-view sports channels.
2. Sell one of our two family cars and encourage the Zedettes to walk to school, football training, dance-classes etc. I'm prepared to drive to the library to get them books on other fitness activities.
3. Learn to get the most out of that solar panel that they're building on the roof of our new house. It's designed to heat water but I'm sure, with a few tweaks, I could use it to reanimate dead tissue in the style of Frankenstein's monster. "Life, I tell you...LIFE!!!".
4. Stop trying to get one over on those nice men at the recycling depot. Just because I can't be bothered to walk from one skip to another is no reason why I should pretend my boot is loaded with "landfill stuffing". How many trees have to die before I get round to sorting out my cardboard?
5. Avoid air travel and try going to London on the Sleeper train. I'm told you have to share a cabin with a complete stranger. That's how friendships are started. Or, given my snoring, murder trials.
All other suggestions welcome.
