Taking The Tube
"So," said the doctor, showing me a long, thin length of black cable, "I'm going to insert this into your nose and feed it down the back of your throat. There's a little camera on the end of it and I'll be able to see what's going on in this monitor."
It was, I have to say, one of the most unpleasant sensations of my entire life. Not painful, just, well, ghastly.
On the other hand, as the images of my throat came flickering on to the screen it looked a lot more interesting than most daytime television. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about the media possibilities. Perhaps the Ö÷²¥´óÐã could trump the popularity of You Tube by developing an online site called Inner Tube. Failing that my TV colleagues could pitch a format called Through The Keyhole Surgery.....who lives with a larynx like this?.
All credit to the medical staff at Raigmore Hospital. They are so thorough. Having presented myself at my G.P's surgery first thing on Monday morning, I was sent to the Ear Nose & Throat dept at Raigmore and was being examined there within the same hour! I was poked, prodded, x-rayed and discussed by everyone from senior consultants to junior medical students.
The last time I was treated in hospital was when I was seven and broke my arm, but this week, having visited Raigmore twice within three days, I feel I've certainly had my share of NHS resources.
Not that anyone is exactly sure what's wrong with me - although they have ruled out some of the worst case scenarios that Mrs Z managed to list after a quick trawl of the internet. I can't tell you what a comfort that was.
I still cant move my head without my whole upper body moving with it. I cant swallow anything with a consistency thicker than cream-of-chicken soup and I have a tendency to wake up three times a night, coughing and spluttering like a drowning man who has been dragged ashore in the nick of time.
The good news is that I have been given some happy pills designed to relax my neck muscles. Trouble is they have a tendency to make me fall asleep in mid-sente
