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There are plenty of Saltires flying here in Lanzarote, most of them adorning the cafes and bars which offer big-screen televisions and scheduled coverage of international football.
I half-expected to see those flags lowered to half-mast after the Norway game yesterday. Oh well, what does it matter really? Watching a disappointing performance from Scotland is just one of the many home-from-home comforts available to holidaymakers here. In fact, there are so many familiar sights that I´m starting to wonder why any of us go abroad at all.
Close your eyes, ignore the weather and just listen to the voices on the street. You could be in Paisley.

The shops are stocked with Irn Bru, malt whisky (in plastic bottles) and copies of the Daily Record. Non footy fans are confronted by pavement blackboards advertising the latest edition of the X-Factor. Oh, and everywhere you look there are giant menu cards describing the delights of a ´Full English Breakfast´

I love the way the British waitresses patrol the street outside their restautrants trying to entice people to come inside. There are probably about a hundred such eateries within five minutes walk of each other but I heard one waitress proclaim "this is the only place to eat!"

Now that´s a bold claim, if ever there was one.

This island used to cater for more Germans than British tourists, but, for some reason, the number of Germans has dwindled. Their legacy remains, however, with the widespread availability of schnitzel in local restaurants.

Of course you only have to look at the weather and the climate to realise why people come here. That´s where the big differences are. Lanzarote is a volcanic island and, if you look aware from the shore, you see that in the spectacular natural geology. It looks a bit like those NASA photographs of Mars. Well, imagine Mars when the holiday compànies get their hands on it.

I wonder if Martian shops will stock square sausage.

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