Paper Monitor
12:07 UK time, Tuesday, 18 March 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Something bad happened in the financial world yesterday. Something very bad.
What else could be signified by the slew of pictures of men in faintly ridiculous blazers looking, well, a little bit peaky. It鈥檚 a phenomenon that has been noted in this parish before.
In the Daily Telegraph business section, there鈥檚 a man with a straggly mullet gazing in numb horror accompanied by a friend in a bi-pastel jacket in shades known as Bridesmaid Dress Peach and Stale Lemon Curd.
On the front of the Financial Times there鈥檚 a pained-looking man adopting the Rocky-on-the-steps pose while a red graph hovers menacing over his head like a rather squiggly pterodactyl.
You can鈥檛 even escape it in the red tops. In the Daily Mirror a German trader with carefully sculpted beard screws his eyes shut in a constipated manner.
In the Daily Star, Lucy Pinder has a diagram of the markets鈥 fluctuation over her sweeping d茅colletage. Er, well, not really. The Star has long gone for totally straight bikini-free business news and today is no different.
Paper Monitor must acknowledge the end of Mills McCartney divorce battle yesterday.
First, we must pay tribute to Fiona Shackleton, lawyer for Sir Paul, who allegedly had a glass of water poured over her. In the before photo she looks like Farrah Fawcett鈥檚 long lost sister. But after the bouffanticide of the water attack, she actually looks better. Ten years younger in fact.
Secondly we must make a heartfelt plea. Subs of the world of newspapers, you have had your fun. The 主播大秀 knows it has offended too, but the Beatles 鈥減uns鈥 must stop now. It is over.
There will be no more 鈥淲ET IT BE鈥 or 鈥淭HE LONG AND WHINING MOAN鈥. You have been warned.
The 
