Paper Monitor
11:59 UK time, Friday, 4 April 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The Daily Mail is the national paper most likely to blow a gasket over Ken Livingstone's revelation that he has three more children - by two more women - than originally thought. (Five children by three mothers? If only it was four by four.)
Not only because it likes to uphold the sanctity of the family, but because the Mail had planned to serialise the forthcoming book with this very headline-grabber contained within.
Apart from the obligatory "Red Ken" moniker - which may well be sweet nothings to the London mayor - the Mail is nastier about the ladies of Liverpool. The paper which likes to woo the nation's womenfolk runs pictures of the outfits on parade yesterday at Aintree - identikit Wags, maxi dress with maxi fringe, floral tent on une femme d'un certain age - under the catty headline: "Ladies' Day (minus one)".
"Minus one" is ostensibly because officially, ladies' day is today. But it unmistakably points the finger at a rather plumptious woman pictured in pink mini-dress, pink shoes, pink bag, pink mobile phone and a stare to step around. Me-ow. Even Trinny and Susannah mortar their brickbats together with a little sugar.
Meanwhile, it is perhaps the most predictable game of consequences around. One has a finger permanently twitching over a hair-trigger temper. The other excels in the art of fraying even the mildest of mannered. So it was always going to be interesting when supermodel Naomi Campbell pitched up at Heathrow's newly opened Terminal 5. Yes, that Terminal 5.
Reports vary as to what happened next -
A mislaid item of hand luggage, says the Times
Too many cabin bags, speculates the Daily Telegraph
A check-in bag too heavy to be loaded, report the Mail and Guardian
- but the end result was that Ms Campbell was removed from the first class cabin of BA269 to cool her heels at Heathrow police station.
She may never had said "Don't you know who I am?" but Paper Monitor speculates that the thought must surely have crossed her mind. And having endured long-haul in the cheap seats, Paper Monitor also speculates that this tete-a-tete must have topped any other in-flight entertainment on offer.
The 
