Your Letters
16:21 UK time, Friday, 16 May 2008
Monitor note: Sorry. Despite our attempts to achieve forward mobility with publication of Thursday's missives, the cats remained unherded and the ducks refused to line up. But be promised, blamestorming has begun.
Re . You don't want to know what image this particular misleading title conjured up in my mind. (Although the correct interpretation is also pretty alarming.)
KM, Coventry
? Ö÷²¥´óÐã, you are really treating us!
Basil Long, Leicester
In , you just gotta love the archaeologist's name - Luc Long. Nominative determinism strikes again.
GDW, Edinburgh
Re . I've been wondering, as my index and ring fingers are exactly the same length does this mean that I'm both sociable AND likely to excel at sport - or that I'm neither? (In which case what hope is there for me?)
HannaH, UK
More than 24 hours have passed since the usual time for If only the Caption Competition were back. Is the Monitor trying a Pavlov's dog experiment?
John, Sevenoaks
Monitor note: Perhaps it is the calm before the storm...
Can you please send Ad Breakdown on a course in mythical zoology? In this , it clearly don't know their gremlins from their dragons.
Alex D, London, UK
Re . The 2008 activities range "from management consultants to marine biologists". Not a very wide range then. Accountants to zoologists would be much more impressive.
Ralph, Cumbria
Have Paper Monitor and Daily Mini-Quiz had a fall-out? While the former highlights the Brits' love of animals, does its best to remind us not all are so concerned for animal welfare.
HannaH, UK
Please, can you find a picture of the Prime Minister that DOESN'T make him look tired? There must be one.
Mark, Reading
Is Dylan, knitting Monitor figures, going to post pictures of these yarn marvels (Wednesday's Letters )? And where can I get one?
Martje, Lancaster, UK
Dylan, does your Paper Monitor puppet have an hiding its naughty bits?
Nick, Glasgow
Contraception in previous centuries meant separate bedrooms (Wednesday's Paper Monitor). I suppose an entire bedroom would be difficult to pack.
Nigel Macarthur, London, England
Re Friday's quote of the day: How does he know he was spotty then?
Richard Place, Barnstaple
Re . "But we've still got to make sure our guests have a fabulous time otherwise they'll make sure their neighbours will come to us." Perhaps I'm missing something, but I can honestly say that when I've stayed in a bad hotel, I've never contemplating making my neighbours go there. Who does Emma Stratton think would be punished by people sending their neighbours? Her or the neighbours?
PS, Newcastle, England
Having failed miserably yet again on , I was intrigued by one of the items, relating to a survey on people's attitudes to charities. I didn't remember seeing anything about this survey, and assorted searches on Ö÷²¥´óÐã and other news sites have failed to turn up anything. If you have a link to it, or any other information, I'd be very interested. The 7 days quiz is hard enough without using phantom surveys.
Hilary Seidman, Holywood, Northern Ireland
Monitor note: It's in .
I'm starting to get a little frustrated with the pronunciation guides. You say "u" as in "cup" and "uu" as in "book" - but you don't say which accent to use! I say "cup" with the "uu" sound and "book" with the "oo" sound (as in "boot"). Confused? I know I am.
Paul, Isle of Man
Regarding . Where I used to live in Wakefield, there is a phone box about 3 minutes walk from my home. There was a notice saying the phone box would be removed within 4 weeks of the date stated. The date was Aug 2003! It was still up and running when I last passed it in Jan this year. Plus someone was using it to make a phone call.
Helen, Leicester
While I applaud the upgrade of "When can papers be photoed" to , could I suggest the verb "to photograph" as the one your headline writer is aiming for? Third time lucky?
Helen, Cambridge
I wanna be a !
Andrew Burnip, Newcastle upon Tyne
Fatties like me being ? Oh dear, maybe I'd better get some exercise to reduce my flab. And what will happen to all that fat when I burn it off? Oh, that's right - carbon dioxide!
Bob Peters, Leeds, UK
Running alongside Paper Monitor's search for the drunken slumped girl, I think we should run a search for the owner of the fat belly which appears in . I wonder if his lifestyle has changed since his starring role in stories about the dangers of plumpness?
Helen, Bath
Bridehead Revisited without the bear? That would be the same as Winnie-the-Pooh without the bear.
Rob Falconer, Llandough, Wales
Running alongside Paper Monitor's search for the drunken slumped girl, I think we should run a search for the owner of the fat belly which appears in . I wonder if his lifestyle has changed since his starring role in stories about the dangers of plumpness?
Helen, Bath
I am totally fed up of newsreaders and traffic reporters saying "bin" instead of "been". Is it me? Has the spelling changed has the verb changed? Bin is a rubbish receptacle not the past tense of the verb to be. I feel better now having got that off my chest.
Val Clachan, Cardiff
The 
