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Ki-whiz

Kiwi and mini-me

Dr Evil, you're fruit cup is ready

Er, isn't that a grape with acne?

Dr Evil, your fruit cup is ready
(corrected)

Once they realised the 'small kiwi' was actually a normal kiwi on a much larger fork in the background, the assembled crowd were disappointed and went home.

I've told you a thousand times, I am just a grape!

And it's good bite from me... and it's good bite from him.

hey dad, you need a shave!

Kumquat may, we're having kiwi fruit for dessert

Ki why?

And we can finally throw away the melon baller

Sorry fellers, but your tine is up..

But since when has a normal-sized kiwi been too big to handle?

Guava Forks Night

Yes, and they only cost twice as much

Kiwi fruits are named after the bird, as both are flightless

You speak with forked pun

It beats eating a tarantula

No wonder they're known as Chinese Gooseberries - the Chinese will miniaturise anything

We're working on the brown and hairy part next

The first verified photograph of the legendary American monster, Bigfroot

I wanted a bit of shoe polish actually

The mini fruit, designed by Mary Quince

鈥淔orking hell!鈥� whimpered the little fruit....

Actually, Sony was attempting to miniaturise wifi components

And the little kiwi looked up at the big kiwi and saw that he too would get hairy when he grew up...

Putting the wi into kiwi.

Lychees?

Yes, I'll have a bit of stilton, please.

The design team at John Deere were the most environmentally friendly in the Tractor industry..

French discover true finger food

So what's kiwi short for? Kigh Widelity?

The fruit salad left a little something to be desired, like bigger fruit!

It will go well with the small portion sizes

"You're a bit of a smoothie!"

Qui? Oui!

Kiwee

Well, I'm not wearing that, said Miss St. Tropez, expecting a mono-kini

Fruit's a lad

Smaller and balder, a kiwi with attitude.

Grape minds think alike

Fruit crush

If it's the size of a thumb, it's no good as finger food

Innocent torture their fruit first - just to make sure.

Credit crunch hits 5-a-day market

Its three tines smaller.

So, you've spent all me money developing a small 'airless kiwi. Your'e fired!

So, you've spent all me money developing a small 'airless kiwi. You're fired!

(correction)

It鈥檚 not cheesy being green

For developing this, the inventor was given access to the executive washroom - a real wee-key

President Sarkozy hoped the small French fruit would be named after him.

It was the only way we could get it past the jolly green giant

What a pity they couldn't have done that to our National Debt instead

Do its pips squeak?

Under closer examination it was found that the cutlery was indeed unclean and the butler was promptly sacked...

Now everybody could enjoy their dessert, not just Snow White

The Kiwi's thought the death penalty had been rescinded, but alas, death by fork it was...

Tine for dessert

If they do that to pineapples too, it'll be awfully difficult peeling them

.... and the King Kiwi said, "Go fork and multiply"

Kiwi relieved his date wasn't an ugli fruit settles down to watch re-runs of Quincy.

Victoria Beckham debuts new snack collection

Don't look back, it's the bogeyman.

The poor photographer had put his bi-focals on sideways

"this was NOT what I had in mind when you suggested a leisurely trip on the tine....."

At long last, a way is found of forcing food down a narrow tube to the Chilean miners

Now that Heston Blumenthal's relentless quest for miniaturised food perfection had lead to the tiny kiwi, the suppliers of Rocky Mountain Oysters were looking distinctly uncomfortable as he turned his mad gaze towards them...

Yet another bizarre invention from a distant lab....

Nicolas Sarkozy is upset when his hotel misinterprets his request for a small suite ...

I can't help it, I've been ill.

Of course it's energy-efficient - you only use three-quarters of the fork

"Very rare"? Surely it shouldn't have been grilled at all?

The first of the stealth austerity measures had now been identified.

"I didn't vote Green actually.... voted Conserve-ative"

GM food? No biggie.

There's more information about this on kiwipedia.

Little fronds make light fruit

Does this mean that Five-a-Day just got alot easier?

Actors Union action notwithstanding, new auditions for The Hobbit go on

Newcastle United supporters from outer space.

If it's the size of a thumb, surely it's more like a chipolata?

The threat from new world wine took an unexpected turn.

The Hobbits were out for revenge!

They pinch our wines, so we'll steal their fruit ...

Mobile phone aerials are just not as fun as they used to be...

The Hobbit's casting team were told to sign up any small Kiwis...

Peter Jackson tries to appease underpaid and undersized actors by providing them with fruit their size

The only thing Heston Blumenthal can't miniaturise is the bill

The kiwi is the same size but the fork on the right is very large and a long way away.

Actually, it's the same technique we used to get petits pois

Last Night At The Prongs.

At the same time, laboratories in Yorkshire were perfecting the marrowfat kiwi

Channel 4 unveil their new cookery series, "Come Quat with Me"

Feel the forks, fluke.

Kiwee

Waiter sacked at "The Fat Duck" after giving diner two forks

Mine's bigger than yours!
Fork off!

Eh bien, Professeur Dubois, you've been locked away in your laboratory now for eight years. What have you got for us?

Is it cold in here or is it just me?