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Oom pah at the ticket window or on board.

I'm so glad we made Wolfgang sit by the window.

All together now : show me the way to go to Rome . . .

Leder(hosen) of the pack.

By the time they reached the honeymoon city, they were ready to fly home.

This is not the quiet car then.

The Austrian team strip really emphasised the national identity and a sense of team spirit, but it left a lot to be desired for, say, the High Jump.

They all agreed that once again the Munich Novelty Balloon Company's Annual Outing was a runaway success !

We're just popping out for some ice cream, actually.

Herrs to play. Gone to Roma.

Hans, Are you SURE we've been booked for the Closing Ceremony?

The gang was all abroad.

Girl: "Know anything by Lady Schlager?"

If only we had remembered the fish for the dance later.

Hogwarts Express Resident Band

Hercule Poirot is outside, he says we just murdered the last number.

Brass class, actually.

(I cant believe I wore the green hat - I look ridiculous!)

Honestly, I'm not implying anything. I'm just saying that I'll bring my iPod next time, that's all.

Mitt Romney was threatening to visit so we caught the first train out.

And this is an album from our new tracks...

Rhythm section starring that well-known percussion instrument - the plastic water bottle

Remember what the sign says, Hans. No pooping whilst stopped at the station.

Brit Trains got Talent

By hiring this lot to sit in Standard, the train companies were raking it in with an staggering number of First Class upgrades.

Squeeze Box

When he opened the door to his compartment, Paolo's heart sank. It was going to be a long trip.

No, it isn't a spelling mistake - the email said "the music for the Closing Ceremony needs a bit of oomph", not "oompah"

Let the train take the refrain.

Klaus,the reason there is no sound is because it is a typewriter

I haven't witnessed anyone playing so badly since this week's badminton

"Er, when TFL announced they were setting new records at busy commuter times..."

I'll be impressed if you can get a tune out of that Enigma machine.

And this kids is what we did before iPods.

Some people work on their laptop on the train, but Hans preferred his typewriter.

Having retired from the French S没ret茅, Inspector Clouseau, on the horn, plays with his new band mates, just waiting for Kato to jump out and surprise everyone with his triangle!

You said you had a percussion instrument, Freda. A water bottle with rice in it does not count.

On time AND in time.

The Dementers take a break on the train to Hogwarts!

It's for our new video...

Sartre may not have commuted into London Bridge that often, but he had it just about right when he said 'hell is other people'.

Altogether now, 1, 2, 3.

Time flies by when you're the driver of a train
And you ride on the footplate there and back again...

It wasn't just the Chinese performance that the coach found "disturbing".

The man who asked for a Thecond Glass Weturn to Dottingham finally gets his Tunes.

I don't like oompah band music, but she just loves it...

You sure it said "Fancy Dress" on the invite?

Just out of shot was a perfect recreation of Edvard Munch(en?)'s Scream

鈥淔or god sake Julie, give them a quid so they move on to the next carriage..鈥�

Danny Boyle awoke in a cold sweat. It was that dream again.

Zoom-pah.

Hours later she wished he had proposed at the football match...

Pardon me Boy ...is that the hat that matched your new shoes?

Murder on the Deutschland express

鈥淭he 08.46 from Croydon has been delayed due to Leifs on the line..

Key change at Crewe

"Yes, this is a Virgin train, why do you ask?"

On the 08.45 to Athens, Germans prove they do have a sense of humour..

"........and all I managed to get on the scavanger hunt was a used Team GB lycra cycling suit.....name of Wiggins!"

New Musical Express

There were always awkward moments for Pope Benedict when the family came to visit

The accordionist thought he saw something move. Harry remained frozen under his invisibility cloak, the result of Malfoy's Oompahicus Encoricus spell.

Not brief enough encounter.

Hans and his knees soon went boomps a daisy when the train braked hard!

You won't forget to buy a ticket next time madam !

SqueezeBoxCar Willi

And now... the horn by train set.

The Sound of Munich

We are training for the Octoberfest

Hans eyed Fritz suspiciously, that was the third time his left hand had brushed his thigh, and no accordian needs that much air.

With or without Marilyn Munroe, the German remake of Some Like It Hot was never going to be a success !!

No matter where you go these days, there's always someone making a godawful racket on their mobile euphonium...

Uh-oh,I think Otto suspects me of eating his strudel........I'll keep playing nonchalantly.

Boxcar Wilhelm Rides Again, the Musical

Tannoy: "Is there a doctor on the train? There's a Mr Vangelis who's turned blue and is gasping for air..."

Eine kleine track musik.

Banned on the Rhein

Hurdy-Gurdy on the Disorient Express

Clearly inspired, the other passengers started running, but not in slow motion.

It was the Nutter on the Bus annual outing

Francophone?! Of course not, it's a flugelhorn.

Horton hears a hootenanny

Out of tune? Or out of town? Or both?

Twas on the Thursday morning we set out to go to Rome,
It seems the sat-nav's glitchy, so here comes the velodrome!
We couldn't think of what to do, no notions came along,
So we watched two British kayakers collect their golden gong...

Could be worse. The vuvuzelas are in the next car.

A tune with a view.

Sometimes I drive to work but sometimes I like to take the Tuba!

Let's-a take-a the tube-a to Roma

yeah, no. This IS the quiet carriage. Bruce Sprinsteen is Giggin' in the next one!

Hans mistakenly thought that On-line music sharing was something you did over the internet!

Coompahrtmentalization is an unconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance.

It is important for artists or musicians to express themselves.........for instance,from Munich to Rome.

Do your wurst...

Sport England deny "cruel and unusual" measures to get the nation cycling.

Orinoco Flow - the cover version: Rail-away, rail-away, rail-away, ....

The Marx Brothers - The Early Years: a why-a-duck is coming up

Episode V: The Oom Pah Strikes Back

Hey, so we remembered the instruments, the hats and the lederhosen - what did we forget?

Many Hans make light(rail) work.

Man in green hat: I think I love you

No, Kraftwerk are two carriages down...