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Paper Monitor

13:53 UK time, Wednesday, 27 February 2013

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

How might one describe the Lib Dems? Not, if this week's papers are anything to go by, how the party might describe itself.

"A party of two and a half people and a dog" - The Times, .

The ouchiness continues:

Lord Rennard may not be a household name - few Liberal Democrats acquire that distinction before going to prison

And there's :

The sad truth, of course, is that most people just notice it is another politician in trouble without caring much which party. When Robin Cook's affair was revealed, pollsters discovered that few voters thought that sleaze had caught up with Labour. As many of them hadn't much heard of Cook, they just assumed that since he was having an extramarital relationship he must be a Tory.

In the Independent, , Scandals in Sandals: The Lib-Dem Musical, with Paul Rudd as Nick Clegg.

The year is 2006, and at a karaoke party at the home of Lembit Opik (Charles Hawtrey), fiancée Gabriela Irimia and twin sister Monica (Jedward) reprise a poignant ballad. "I never ask where do you go/ I never ask what do you do," they trill, "Come and smile, don't be shy/ Touch my bum, this is life." Encouraged to shrug off the coyness of which so much has been latterly been heard, Lord Rennard (Richard Griffiths) swigs deeply from Charlie Kennedy's intravenous drip for Dutch courage, and takes the Cheekies' invitation at face value.

Sounds like a shoo-in come awards season, at the Razzies at least.

Sticking with politics, picture of the day is of a reluctant Tory canvassing in Eastleigh. .

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