After last week's story about Eileen Froggat's response to the four young thugs who broke into her flat, the world's press is suddenly awash with tales of plucky disableds and their heroic deeds. (Oh, OK, there have been two stories. But, hey, that's two more than usual.)
Just last week, "disabled grandpa" David Hanness earned himself his "have-a-go hero" stripes when he in a blue anorak who was suspected of nicking £2000 worth of designer spectacle frames from the Specsavers store in Penge. David has a slipped disc and asthma, so he wasn't able to keep up with his quarry for terribly long. But, nothing daunted, he got into a police van which then drove around for a bit until the bloke was spotted and arrested.
David modestly told the press, "Sometimes you just need to do these things". Good on you, David. Specsavers were so grateful that they gave him a £100 reward and upgraded his and his wife's varifocal frames and lenses free of charge.
But it's not just British crips who can keep a cool head in a crisis. At the Monroe Community Hospital in Rochester, NY, a quiet evening in the patients' smoking room was unexpectedly interrupted by one patient - the somewhat ironically-named Justin Burns - accidentally . Tony Manza, who has spina bifida, wheeled his gurney across to Justin with all possible speed and put out the flames with his bare hands because he "had to do something". Justin had to have skin grafts, but there's no doubt that Tony's swift action saved him from more serious harm. Impressive stuff.
(The article goes on to detail the romance between Tony and his fiancee Sarah, but it all gets a bit too saccharine for cynical old Lady Bracknell's tastes.)
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- the Sheffield Welfare Action Network - are calling on disabled people all over the UK to follow their lead and mount simultaneous peaceful local protests against the newly announced .
SWAN plan to protest outside Sheffield Town Hall at 1.00pm on Saturday 4 February.
An email distributed by the organisation reads: "we are calling on all decent and caring people, claimants, campaigners, activists, faith groups, churches, individuals to support our call and peacefully protest in your locality".
Crippled Monkey asks: could the IB reforms be lighting the touchpaper for a new wave of disability protests like those we saw in the 90s? And are discrimination laws strong enough to help the government make this new system work anyway? Many disabled people don't work because of discrimination, and have found their way onto Incapacity Benefits as a result. Might the DDA have to be strengthened to stop employment discrimination more effectively, in order to help the government save money on benefits?
As the changes sink in, the discussion moves on and there's a significant number of people out there who nodded their heads and felt the government were right to crackdown on this. Incapacity Benefit costs the UK a lot of money and we all want to know it's going to the right people. Could there ever be a foolproof test for disability in order that so-called 'scroungers' are cut out of this loop?
Shusaku Arakawa is, according to the , "an internationally acclaimed award-winning painter-turned-architectural-designer". Gosh. While most of the modern condos being built in Japan are universally accessible, Arukawa believes that such buildings are not only lifeless, but actually harmful. They feature too many straight lines and flat planes which don't exist in nature, apparently.
So, to redress the balance, Arakawa is all for, er, "architecture that defies death". By designing buildings which incorporate inconveniences and obstacles, he believes he can bring people's sensory perceptions back to life. (Which sounds as though his buildings will miraculously enable blind people to see and deaf people to hear, although that's probably not really what he's getting at.)
His latest work (snappily entitled, "Reversible Destiny Lofts Mitaka in memory of Helen Keller") is a nine unit condominium on the outskirts of Tokyo, which symbolises his mission to create "an apparatus through which we bring our life closer to eternity". Hmm. Deliberately-installed barriers include light switches at ankle height (that'd be Lady Bracknell living in the dark, then); ball-shaped studies with insufficient flat space to install a desk; bumpy floors which slope at a 20 degree angle; and a series of hooks in the ceiling, accessible by means of a narrow ladder, which are intended to serve the purpose of a wardrobe.
Those of us who really do need our floors to be both flat and level needn't worry too much, though. While most condos in Japan are sold before construction has even started, only one of Arakawa's dream spaces has been bought so far. By a group of the project's sponsors . . .
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Just a quick nod towards something you might want to listen to on Radio 4 FM tonight.
This week's Friday Play is Strike by Amanda Dalton.
Sarah Smart stars as Kat, a trainee teacher who has been self-harming since her father, Michael, disappeared seven years ago. Her younger brother knows her secret. But what if Michael should return?
If you miss it being broadcast on air, you can listen to it for up to seven days afterwards using the excellent listen again feature on the Ö÷²¥´óÐã website.
Lady Bracknell knows very little about the general attitude towards disabled people in Japan. But, if the rest of the world is anything to go by, she wouldn't be entirely surprised to learn that Japanese crips are considered by the general populace to be tragic beings whose lives have been blighted by their dreadful impairments.
Bucking that general perception, though, (although not, it has to be said, in a good way), are Harumi Otana and Hirofumi Takaya. They may be deaf and without speech, but they haven't allowed that to interfere with their criminal activities. As reported in , the two have been turning their attendance at the Kochi prefecture gateball contest "for deaf and mute people" to their own dubious advantage.
They identified their elderly victim at the contest, and later turned up at her home and used "sign language intimidation" (not to mention a bit of good old-fashioned knocking to the ground and leg trampling) to persuade her to hand over 3 million yen. Or about £14,750.
The two are being questioned by the police on suspicion of further crimes of a similar nature.
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If you're thinking of turning to a mental health helpline for support, it might be best not to choose the one I came across this afternoon at . Chances are that you'll be worse off than when you started, possibly with a few more disorders to add to your list.
The rest of the humour section doesn't deserve its title, though. It's not funny!
Ö÷²¥´óÐã Bristol are making a five-part series featuring disabled people, their lives and experiences.
One of the programmes will focus on love, sex and relationships. Here's where you come in: they would like to hear from anyone with a story to share, whether you are in a relationship, looking for a partner, or "seeking a sexual experience".
If you are interested and want to know more, email emma.burman@bbc.co.uk. Alternatively, give Emma or Chloe a call on 0117 974 2350.
Regular readers of Ouch's fine weblog may recall the media furore back in October over the launch of the Spazz wheelchair in the UK. "Spazz", we were assured, may be an offensive term for someone with cerebral palsy in the UK, but in the US its meaning is entirely different.
Well, these things can work both ways. The Keep Britain Tidy people have come up with a new cinema advertising campaign aimed at the 15 - 24 year old demographic with the strapline, "Don't be a gimp". (You can watch the advert . Lady Bracknell considers it to be very odd, but must confess that, since it is many years since she belonged to the target age bracket, she is possibly not the best person to comment.)
Now, while it's highly improbable that this campaign would ever be transferred across to the States, that strapline would be pretty offensive if it did. Perhaps advertising executives would do well in future to familiarise themselves with Wikipedia's having different meanings in British and American English, if they're thinking about trying to market anything to both countries?
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From the pages of comes the story of Eileen Froggat, a "frail woman with a broken hip" who put her walking stick to excellent use when she found four intruders in her flat. Unconvinced by their claim to be, er, "looking for damp", Eileen whacked one of them over the head with her stick. With the help of her son, she then chased the young men out of the flat before they could make off with any of her valuables. Go Eileen! Lady Bracknell salutes you!
By the way, the stick Eileen is holding in the photograph accompanying the article isn't, strictly speaking, a walking stick. Known in the Bracknell household as a "grabby stick", it's a useful device for picking up things which one's general lack of bendiness would mean were otherwise impossible to reach. For example, the tablets which you have dropped into the narrow space between the kitchen sink and the washing machine because you were temporarily distracted by the sight of a squirrel running along the garden wall. Ahem. They also come in distinctly handy for catching and evicting any large spiders which might happen to be prancing around close to your ceiling and disturbing your equilibrium.
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You'll have to forgive Crippled Monkey, but I'm having one of those days where I slap my hand against my forehead and cry "I don't believe it!" in my best impersonation of Victor Meldrew.
So here's a tip for rail companies: you really shouldn't be leaving a disabled passenger stranded on a platform after your staff have told him that they're "too busy" to help him board his train. Now this would be shocking in any circumstances, but there's much more chance of your company's shocking lack of service if the passenger was Bert Massie, chairman of the Disability Rights Commission. Oops.
(Oh, and to the Mirror, who reported the story, Crippled Monkey respectfully suggests that you might want to consider changing that reference to "the wheelchair-bound 55-year-old").
In other incredulous news, did you know that the United Nations is currently in the middle of working on a treaty on the rights of the world's 600 million disabled people? The committee includes all 191 UN nations, with an unprecedented number of disabled people involved. Sounds great, huh? They've been working on this since 2001, too. So why have they only just got round to making sure that the project's documents are for blind and visually impaired delegates?
Snatching the authorial rights for this particular blog entry from the paws of Crippled Monkey was quite a coup for Lady Bracknell, as the simian one is renowned for his reluctance to share when it comes to animal stories. Or, indeed, bananas.
, which describes itself as "a special place for disabled animals", is a sanctuary in Montana catering for, as you will have gathered by now, all manner of cripped up beasties. (Oh, OK, dogs, cats and horses. There's not actually anything on the site to indicate that they offer refuge to amputee spiders or amnesiac goldfish. But they probably would if someone asked them to.) Each of the resident animals has his or her own web page. There are too many to list here, but Lady Bracknell was particularly drawn to , the dog with the fused jaw (who sports a rather natty line in sweaters); , the invalid cat; and , the old mule.
Some of the animals are fit enough to be put up for adoption, which means that there's also a very touching page of stories. And, if you find yourself wanting to know more about the work which goes on at the ranch, you might want to visit their regularly.
Sadly, one dog who won't be going to Rolling Dog Ranch is Natasha, the Shar-Pei. Natasha, who was "small, old, blind and crippled" was shot by a neighbour of her owners for threatening the animals on his petting farm. Maybe she squinted at them in a menacing way. Or limped meaningfully in their general direction. History does not relate. But a judge in north east Ohio has ruled that Howard Goodall was in killing her.
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Ouch link: Our three-legged friends by Nuala Calvi.
What are you doing at 4.30pm this afternoon? Not sure? How about tuning into Ö÷²¥´óÐã2 to watch not one but two of the stars from the jungling cripsploitation show Beyond Boundaries test their culinary tallents to the max in Ready Steady Cook.
Wheelchair user Ade Adepitan and visually impaired Amar Latif take on the chefs and, in Amar's case at least, produce 5 puddings in 20 minutes. The word is, white chocolate cheescake features!
Amar certainly enjoyed the experience: "I was a bit concerned about the cooking aspect of the show. My philosophy generally is, don't spend any longer cooking than it takes you to eat.
"When I was shown my kitchen, there was a chopping board there with 3 different sizes of knife on it. I knew then that they weren't worried about my blindness.
"They got me to crush biscuits, whisk cream and chop a pineapple. Ainsley asked me if I had ever chopped a pineapple before, and when I said no, he asked how it felt to do so. I didn't know what to say, so just replied that it was like chopping a pineapple. Everybody laughed."
Ready Steady Cook - the one to watch tonight, on Two! The two to watch in fact . . .
Barrie Ellis - the man behind who recently wrote Ouch's guide to accessible switch gaming - dropped us a line to let us know that there's a demo of a new game called Space Invaders for Blind available to try on the web. Now there is one slight problem - er, it's all in Japanese. But Barrie assures us that it's "quality", and that all you need to know to give the game a go are the following simple controls:
LEFT and RIGHT arrows to move your laser base;
SPACE to fire;
ESCAPE to quit.
You can find out more details about Space Invaders for Blind on their - provided your Japanese is up to scratch - or use this link to a demo of the game directly to your PC (it's 8.37MB, so you might want to go and make a cup of tea if you're on dial-up). Happy blasting!
You may find this hard to credit, but a chap called Wallace Stort - who had a bit of a thing about girls with missing limbs - had literally hundreds of letters praising the charms of women he dubbed "monopedes" published in a weekly glamour magazine called London Life between 1924 and 1941. The website reports that:
"A probably less than enthusiastic lady artist provided most of the the rather vapid illustrations of a demi-monde where young women rest contentedly on chaise-longues, their delicately chaste gowns revealing fewer limbs than even the heroine possesses. She is in every scene, in and out of the boudoir, resting or sweetly poised on her one dainty leg. Even when she is obliged to toy with an equally dainty crutch, it leaves her hand invitingly free for dalliance with a clean-cut (and unimpaired) hero."
Mm, yes, that's right. Were Lady Bracknell to lose any of her limbs, she would immediately become so helpless that she would have no option but to throw herself on the mercy of an "unimpaired hero". Particularly one who got off on the fact that she had a stump or two. Not.
Somewhat unfairly, the OverGround site goes on to report that: "One or two plaintive letters from men inquired whether there were ladies who found limbless males especially attractive, but no response emerged."
Lady Bracknell wishes to make it clear that she does not, under any circumstances, condone devoteeism. She is, however, intrigued to discover that its proponents achieved such a wide coverage over almost three decades in the early part of the 20th century. Should you wish to, you can read all of Stort's contributions .
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Oh dear. There's a rather heated debate going on across the pond in relation to plans for a new fountain in Washington Square Park. Margie Rubin - who belongs to a group called, 'Disabled in Action' - is threatening to sue the Parks Department under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) over the fact that the new fountain won't have a permanent wheelchair ramp.
But, despite the photographic evidence in of the fact that people paddle in the pool on hot summer days, the designer of the renovated fountain, George Vellonakis, is arguing that the fountain is officially off-limits to everybody, so there's no need to instal a ramp.
Now, admittedly, this isn't a particularly gripping story in itself. However, Lady Bracknell thought the graphic which has been designed to illustrate the story on the website definitely deserved a wider airing.
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Nice to see that, in Edinburgh at least, there's a bus company which is taking its responsibilities under DDA 2005 seriously, as reported in last week.
Lothian Buses have gone into partnership with an organisation called "to improve access to public transport in the capital". Capability Scotland recently published a report entitled, , which found that "disabled people are losing out on social lives and work opportunities because buses are often too hard to use". The report is 58 pages long, but it's well worth a read.
So, employees of Lothian Buses will be receiving training designed to give them a "greater understanding of the barriers that affect disabled people and help them to make sure they don't behave in a way that could be perceived as discriminatory". What's more, the training is actually going to be delivered by disabled people. Hurrah!
Is it too much to hope that other bus companies across the UK will take note, and institute something similar themselves . . .?
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This is a time-sensitive, one day only link. But if you're online - er, as you must be if you're reading this - go take a quick look at search engine , where they've recreated their distinctive logo in Braille to celebrate the birthday of its creator, Louis Braille. Sadly, of course, it doesn't work in quite the same way as actual raised dots, as I can confirm after trying to run my fingers over the screen.
The new year brings the start of yet another possibly very short-lived series here on Ouch's weblog, as we salute those celebs who are temporarily experiencing what it's like to be disabled (although hopefully not in a Gaby Roslin kind of way). First up is , currently playing Dandini in the pantomime of Cinderella in Liverpool. Julian has found himself in a wheelchair following a tumble down a flight of stairs, but has vowed that "the show must go on" in best theatrical trouper style, and has taken to the stage first on crutches, then in the chair. Crippled Monkey hopes that the panto's action won't be interrupted by any huge inaccessible staircases which Julian will have to negotiate. Give that man ramps now!
If you've spotted a famous person getting in touch with their disablified side following an injury of some sort, email us at ouch@bbc.co.uk, and we'll do our bit to welcome them to our world for the duration of their stay. Because we're nice like that, innit?
Should every wheelchair user be given a cat? Answer: no, probably not. Still, that doesn't stop the question occupying Crippled Monkey's mind after I read a story that's been appearing just about everywhere: . Yep, a man from Kansas City fell out of his wheelchair, couldn't get himself back into the chair or reach his emergency cord - so that's when Tommy the cat stepped in and called (or pawed?) the paramedics on the phone. Presumably he didn't miaow to them, since not many people speak fluent Cat, but let his owner do the talking.
Honestly, you couldn't make this stuff up . . .
Yes, it's 2006! And we're back! Ready to bring you more gossipy goodness, blogging badness and tittle-tattle trivia about anything and everything to do with disabiility.
This year's first story concerns Sean Lennon, the son of legendary ex-Beatle John and his second wife, Yoko Ono. Now, poor Sean - despite his fame and wealth - is . He even went so far as to tell a New York gossip column that he's "completely alone and completely miserable".
But in case any of you lovely disablified Ouch-reading laydeez out there are thinking of getting in touch with Seanie-boy - well, think again, because he has some very specific (and downright disablist) guidelines about who he's looking for: "they must not have any clinical or psychological disorders and have a kind heart. Clearly beautiful but beauty on the inside is more important. But no deformities, third legs, fifth nipples."
Oh , what a simply charming guy . . .
Ah, but it would be terrible to start the year on such a cynical note, so in contrast I'm relieved to tell you about a story from , where a company called Mr Cupid International Matchmakers has been set up to help hearing-impaired Singapore men find love with hearing-impaired Vietnamese women. And the agency is apparently doing thriving business too.
That's better. I'm getting a lovely warm glow now.
