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I have to admit to having felt a wee bit 'bah humbug' recently - and not just because I spent a good chunk of Monday stuck in a slushy, icy gridlock.

Thinking back to my own school days, I remember my parents greatly looking forward to the annual school Christmas carol concert and nativity play. The whole school and wider community turned out for an evening of festive entertainment - if a gathering of forgetful, tuneless but highly decorative small people, can be called entertainment.

So when did things change from one simple evening of fun, to the packed calendar of Christmas events which I received in the last school newsletter?

Altogether, between the Christmas Fayre, fund-raising carols, Santa’s appearance at the Christmas party and the Nativity play itself, there are five different eventsÌýat my son’s school,Ìýwhich parents have been invited to. None are in the evening, three clash with the days I work and the others both involve a good deal of shuffling other small folk about, then expecting said small folk to sit quietly, while their siblings have all the fun. Bah. And on top of that, I’m forking out money every day for pantos, grotto gifts, stalls and the obligatory Christmas card exchange, which in these parts, even extends to the nursery pupils. Humbug.

So how has it come to this, who is it really meant to be for and why do I get the feeling that Santa won’t be coming to my house, if I don‘t make a supreme effort to attend all of the events?Ìý

By now, my inner grinch had started muttering darkly along the lines of, ‘it’s all very well for stay at home parents’. What about parents who work, but don’t want to let their kids down?

Then I remembered last year, when I moved heaven and earth to get to the tail end of my son’s school Christmas party. The hall was packed solid with other parents, who had made the same effort. My son however, along with many of his peers, was entirely oblivious to our being there at all.Ìý

In a halleluiah moment, I realised I had forgotten that the whole point of these events is for the kids to enjoy celebrating age-old traditions. It’s also a chance for them to contribute something to the community. My son and his class and thousands of other children like them, will get a kick out of carol-singing their hearts out and charming little old ladies in supermarkets and old-folks homes all over the country. And besides, who really cares if mum makes it along to the Christmas party, so long as it’s not Santa that can’t take the time off work?

I sat down and had a chat with my son and explained that I would only be able to come along to one or two things this year. He was pretty keen for me to come along to the nativity play, but was otherwise supremely unfazed.

So, for stay at home mums - and dads - who can make it along to every event (not forgetting you are often the same people who give up time to make costumes and fund raise for the panto trip etc), enjoy!Ìý

But this year, I think that those of us who work full- or part-time, should all have a merry little guilt-free Christmas. I’m going to accept that I’m not needed or expected at every single event in my son life. Independence is something schools should be teaching and encouraging anyway.Ìý

And now I feel I can sit back and really look forward to all the fun and hilarity of the up-coming alternative nativity. If last year is anything to go by, it will probably prove to be a wet-wool smelling, uber-fidgety, over-crowded joyous giggle and definitely worth taking the afternoon off work for…

Flora Napier works forÌýÖ÷²¥´óÐã Learning Scotland.

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