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So you’ve got yourself one or more children and you need to know how to bring them up. Will having strict study regimes help your kids achieve academically, or should you help them become more self-sufficient, so that they will want to achieve on their own?

Never fear - there are several (hundred) books out there which will offer you advice, ranging from the cuddly Ìý(never put infants down, attend to every cry immediately, let them take the lead) to the new, uber-strict, ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’ by (don’t accept failure, ban TV and computer games, force children to practise a musical instrument of your choice for up to 3 hours a day, even if they hate it…)

In my view, each end of the spectrum has its merits. The Continuum Concept’s ideas of keeping infants close and responding to their needs, as soon as possible, can lead to greater security and confidence in older children.

·¡±ç³Ü²¹±ô±ô²â,ÌýAmy Chua’s thinking is not as harsh as it first appears. Why should you accept mediocrity if you know that your child hasn’t made an effort? You’d also be mad to think that hours of TV and video games are going to help your kids finish their homework on time.

It seems ridiculous to put forward one ‘method’ of parenting, as the perfect solution. However, there is evidence to suggest that - psychologist, Oliver James, reports that it can, in fact, lead to depression, substance abuse and academic under-achievement.Ìý, so perhaps it would be better to help your children be emotionally stable and self-directed, rather than focusing on their academic achievements.

Good parenting, to me, means that both you and your children are happy most of the time, regardless of how ‘well’ they do at school. Beating yourself up about being a rubbish parent isn’t going to achieve this. If I were going to recommend one book, it would be ‘The Idle Parent’ by Tom Hodgkinson, who advocates largely ignoring parenting manuals and leaving kids alone to make their own fun as much as possible, with plenty of low-tech family games and silliness.

If, however, you’re aiming for your progeny to end up as prodigiously talented individuals, who excel in the field of your choosing, then the ‘Tiger Mother’ method is the one to go for, but don’t expect your kids to be universally grateful (Amy Chua describes her youngest daughter’s rebellion in the book, while ).

There’s no handbook to help you bring up successful, happy and well-balanced children, who are fulfilled academically. The best you can do is to show that you love them, look after them when they’re little and then, as they grow up, give them as much freedom as you feel is appropriate. If you are trying your best, thinking about your decisions, and enjoying your own life, then more than likely your children will do the same!

Hannah Hunter is a member of the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Parent Panel.

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