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I was heavily pregnant when I attended my first (or parents’ consultations as they are sometimes called) and spent most of the 10 minutes trying to perch on a chair that was designed for a four year old. In fact, it took me many more parents’ evenings before I discovered how to make the most of the limited time, so I thought I would pass on a few tips.

Schools are required to hold at least one parents’ evening a year to enable parents to keep up-to-date with their child’s progress and forge good relationships with the school. At primary school, it’s a fairly relaxed, after school/early evening session, when you meet the class teacher and look at your child’s work books, usually without your child.

It’s good to jot down questions beforehand, particularly if you have specific concerns. Try to keep focussed – there isn’t enough time for small talk! I have spent many parents’ evenings chatting too much about issues such as the quality of school dinners or the frequency of PE lessons. It’s best to discuss these general questions with the head or deputy head. However, you can make a follow-up appointment with the class teacher if you need more time to discuss your child’s work or development.

It’s natural to want to know how your child is doing compared to others – and don’t be embarrassed to ask. Keep in mind that children develop at different rates, particularly at this stage. My daughter is at primary school and I want to know if she’s generally happy and sociable, what she enjoys most, where she needs extra support and what I can do to help at home.

At secondary school the process is more complicated. Some schools request that your child attends too, others prefer parents only. Most give you the opportunity to spend 5-10 minutes with each subject teacher, which can result in a long evening and a lot of queuing (depending on how your child’s school structures the evening). Don’t forget to see the form tutor – he/she is likely to know your child best.Ìý

It’s worth talking to your child beforehand to see if he/she has any concerns or questions. If you have recently received a school report, go through it together and make a note of any issues – it’s easy to forget on the evening.

Some teachers are more forthcoming with information than others. My tip: be politely persistent (but not confrontational!), if you aren’t getting the information you want. However, be prepared for constructive criticism too and if there are areas for improvement, ask how progress can be made. Your child’s targets may also be discussed during the evening. Try to follow these up and monitor how your child is progressing during the year. Many schools encourage email contact too, so it’s easy to keep in touch with the teachers.

If you dread the prospect of another parents’ evening scrum, it may help to know that research shows children do better when parents are interested and . It can sometimes be hard to find the time, but attending sends out a positive message to our children and their school.Ìý

Sarah Kingsley is a freelance writer and a member of the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Parent Panel.

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