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I know all of you out there take a keen interest in my well-being when I'm away at party conferences, and I realise I have been remiss by concentrating entirely on politics and failing to mention my welfare.

You'll be delighted to know my hotel is perfectly pleasant. There are small Italian biscuits, but it's too 21st Century for a Corby . (I'm informed other trouser presses are available)

It does though have a minimalistic shower; so minimalistic in fact that it doesn't tell you which way to turn for hot or cold. Dangerous in the early morning.

Liverpool actually seems to be a popular conference venue amongst the people I've spoken to.

This is the first autumn party gathering it's held. Labour are due to come here next year.

Less overwhelming than Manchester, but still big enough to cope with the influx of conference-goers.

The regeneration here is also very impressive, although I'm puzzled that they seem to be intent on slappnig great big modern edifices right in front of the iconic and rather splendid .

This is certainly the busiest I've been to, and the number of exhibitors has increased substantially.

But there is a disappointing lack of the usual amusing tat on the exhibition stalls.

In previous years we have revelled in Conservative Christmas baubles, Alan Beith fridge magnets and David Cameron coasters.

But the best the Conference can offer this year is a Nick Clegg jigsaw. I wasn't tempted to part with my £4.

Our friends at Sky News have though produced a new set of political Top Trumps which always cause amusement.

For those of you who didn't misspend your youth on this game, you compare the qualities of the politicians on each card, with the highest rating "trumping" the other.

Of the northern MPs, David Miliband looks a good card to hold.

He has a good majority, a potential rating of nine out of ten (although this coming weekend could make that a little out of date), and best of all he has a fanciability rating of 95 out of 100 (only Zac Goldsmith beats him).

William Hague trumps him on majority, and on years in parliament, but can only score 45 for fanciability.

Also in there as one of the few backbenchers is Rory Stewart. He scores well on majority and has a potential rating of seven. Fanciability is reasonable at 61, but he'd let you down badly on one rating.

The Penrith and the Border MP has a Storm Warning of 45 out of 50. That suggests the panel of journalists who made the assessments think his career could end in tears.

Unfair? Perhaps, but to be honest. He should be pleased. Only 30 politicians were selected for inclusion and it shows that even after just four months in the Commons he's made an impact.

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