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Sex education - your comments

Victoria Derbyshire | 15:15 PM, Sunday, 19 October 2008

(Click here for the results of our questionnaire and other sex education content)

We received dozens of interesting comments about sex education when we asked for your views.

Many of you called in to have your say on the subject. You can listen again to the debate by subscribing to and downloading the 5 live News Phone-In podcast.

Here are a selection of the best.

How did you first raise the subject with your children?

Let the child lead, don't avoid the questions and most of all DO NOT tell little lies! Avoiding answering and giving misleading info will be found out and makes it more difficult later.

Having got over the shock and hilarity of what bits go where ("you did WHAT? Yuck."), there has never been any embarrassment or mistaken assumptions.

My children were never curious about sex until it was brought up at school.

I am lucky and have a boy and a girl; as soon as they noticed the difference in each others bodies I explained the whys and wherefores.

Both my girls brought it up at about the age of 10 when they asked me questions about periods and I just took it from there.

When I knew they were ready. I used a Babette Cole book to help - it is very funny and helped break the ice. It is called Momma Laid an Egg.

I was given a joy of sex book by my parents and told to read it and then ask my parents if I had any questions I am not taking this approach with my kids.


Some general comments:

Many of my daughters friends ask me questions instead of their own parents

Sex education should not be given in a classroom full of children at different stages of development and moral upbringing but should be done at home in a loving and understanding environment.

The amount, quality and timing of sex education is a total lottery dependent on parental ability, the school priorities and chance events.

I would much rather my children heard it straight from me than the giggly or slightly disgusted version they get from each other.

If discussions of sex became part of everyday life from an early age, so it wasn't a taboo or mysterious subject the world would be a much better place.

My school ran no sex education and my parents would have died of embarrassment long before discussing it. I would hate any other child to be put in that same position.

How honest should I be about my own sexual history? They ask me "did you do that" and most of my truthful answers would be quite inappropriate.

The bottom line is that parents should be responsible for their kid's sexual well being and not blame society, teachers etc. WE are the grown ups after all!

I feel they are exposed to so much more information/experiences and media than when I was a child, so naturally they are asking questions earlier than in previous generations.

People talk about taking away their innocence by telling them the facts of life so young. I disagree, my children haven't 'lost their innocence' by knowing.

I also think it's important that any discussion on sex has to be based in an emotional and values context so that a young person grows up to have a balanced attitude.

I am a school teacher and I taught my first sex education lesson last week. I was shocked at how little the group I taught (aged 14) knew, especially about STIs and contraception. We need to accept that young people are having sex younger and younger and we need to arm them with as much information as possible so that they can make well-informed decisions.

I thought I was reasonably clued up about sex when I was younger. However a lot of what I thought I knew, was wrong...

When the time came for me to have a chat with my son he was about 11-12 yrs old. It was a bit awkward until we both started laughing! I think he knew more than I did from his mates.

2 years ago I attended a 'Speak-Easy' course, (otherwise entitled - 'how to talk to your kids about sex and relationships), held at the local primary school. I would recommend this course to every parent.

As a child I was brought up on a farm hence sex education was all around me.

I think kids should be taught the facts and the consequences of sex without consideration of emotions and unwanted pregnancies and STI.

I have 5 boys, 16 and under. I want them to have good relationships but safe ones so I it is down to me to make them aware. Last thing I need is regrets about "wish I had said something" and "if only's"...

Starting sex education earlier in school will not decrease the teenage pregnancy rate it will probably increase it. Just because they are taught about it doesn't mean they understand it. They are taught maths and English but they do not all get an A* pass.

Too much sex education makes them aware at far too early an age, encourages them to experiment.

My parents gave me two brilliant books about sex and sexuality the summer before I started Secondary School (in the early eighties). They wanted to 'get in there first' before I heard any nonsense from the other children.

You will not stop teenagers having sex if they want it. What you can do is help them achieve a sense of personal responsibility, self-respect and the confidence to be able to say no.

If you don't talk to your children about sex then someone else will.

I am frequently stunned by the timing of my children's' queries, eg in Sainsbury, but always try to deal with them honestly, if quietly!

I think education in schools should be delivered by youth workers and not teachers and that no school should be exempt from delivering sex education.

As a 19 year old student going to do teacher training, I do think schools should inform children because some children don't have a secure home in which to ask the questions and also some parents are ill-informed.

It's a topic that I find embarrassing to discuss with our children. My wife is more adept at this, and lets me know when she has had discussions that I should know about.

Other kids, as well as their parents, benefitted from the candour of my girls.

Education empowers & is more likely to promote responsibility.

Looking back on myself at 18, when I first had sex, I realise how comparatively ignorant I was.

It's best talked about with parents but realistically a good number of parents will fail to deal with it. Therefore primary teachers like me need to ensure all children receive the essential knowledge

Being a teacher of SRE it doesn't make it any easier. Teaching 30 strangers is so much easier than teaching your own kids.

Comments

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