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Coping with cancer
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Message 1.Â
Posted by Emma - no relation (U2818673) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Have you just been diagnosed? Are you having treatment? Are you out the other side? Is someone close to you currently going through it? Basia suggested that we see if there is an appetite for a thread for those living with (or after) cancer. Obviously nothing here is a substitute for your medical care.
Within minutes of being diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year (I’m bang in the demographic, for those of you who think I post young, and the prognosis is good), I was given my first piece of useful advice. t rush home and google ‘cancer’ or your particular variety: you’ll frighten yourself to death. Clear and reliable information is available from sites such as:
Charities dealing with particular cancers are also helpful. For breast cancer, I’ve found useful. Maybe those of you with other varieties would like to give links to specialist sites yu've consulted. Some of the charity sites have message boards/chat rooms of their own.
OK, over to you.
ENR -
Message 2
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
I think this is a wonderful idea Emma. I wish it and you well.
Westie :0) -
Message 3
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Emma thank you so much. i've already been helped by what you've had to say, and Binky too, so I welcome this thread.
Just wanted to register here, me and my leuk, and will be back later.
Basia -
Message 4
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
I was told a couple of months ago that I had endometrial hyperplasia (thickening of the lining of the womb) and a booklet which said it may be cancer was stuck in my sticky paw. It took some rummaging around internet sites (being picky which I looked at) to reassure myself that (a) it wasn't necessarily cancerous; and (b) even if it is, it can be sorted.
They've twice to get a biopsy and failed and I'm waiting for them to try again. The wait is horrible. -
Message 5
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Gosh Sunny, I'm sorry. How does one fail to get a biopsy? This is all so new to me, please forgive me if my questions seem ignorant.
I hope you will be seen again asap with a successful outcome.
Basia x -
Message 6
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Warning - graphic girly stuff.
They tried to stick a tube thingy up my vagina and up my cervix to grab a bit of tissue, but it wouldn't go through; so then I came back another day and they anaesthetised my cervix and opened it up with water and inserted a camera and something to grab a bit of tissue, but I have adhesions (it's stuck together), so the doctor couldn't get all the way into the womb to get a sample.
So now I've been referred to someone more senior and he's going to see if he can get into the womb without damaging anything in the attempt.
It's not a big deal if it is cancer. So far as I can see, they just chop it out and maybe use a bit of radiotherapy if they don't get it all. It's the not knowing that's bugging me. -
Message 7
Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Thank you for launching this thread, Emma (nr) (and Basia too), and for including those close to someone having treatment.
OH is just into his course of radiotherapy and we'd both be glad to hear from anyone who's had this, and about anything you did that helped with it - especially with skin irritation, etc. (He had a malignant sarcoma in his thigh, and was operated on about two months ago.)
He's having daily treatments, over thirty sessions, and it's nearly a fifty mile round trip to get there and back. He's getting angry with himself for feeling tired and 'wasting time'. I've been telling him the tiredness must be usual, but have no real idea of how tired, and how swiftly people feel it. It could be the journey as much as anything! -
Message 8
Posted by susie (U2345418) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
You might find this website useful, it focuses on people's experiences of a variety of health conditions, including cancer.
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Message 9
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Elnora - an elderly relative of mine had radiotherapy about eighteen months ago. It wiped her out at the time, but she got her energy back fairly quickly.
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Message 10
Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Thank you, Sunny - and to susie for the link.
Sunny, commiserations for your wait. That kind of waiting around, going back for more, and the not-knowing is dreadful. -
Message 11
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
The early days of waiting for info/diagnosis are the worst, I thought. Having had the biopsy and then waiting to see the oncologist, you descend into a sort of pit. Your mind goes into overdrive as to the very worst (medically) that can happen; how it will affect those you love; the opportunities you've missed in life and umpteen other things, probably different for everybody stuck in this situation,I know. All the stuff about positive thinking, being a fighter, it's all hooey really - you just get on with it, taking each day at a time (what a cliche, but so true). You get into the chemo/blood tests/CT scan routines, and with good treatment and some luck, you will pull through.
Each cancer is different, the treatments/drug regimes are different and what happens to some people does not happen to others; I will gladly tell anyone about Lymphoma and the little things I learned if it helps them at all, but the advice would not be applicable to everyone.
From a general stand-point, sore mouths are pretty standard and I found Difflam Oral Rinse to be very good, using a fruit-flavoured children's toothpaste instead of the too aggressive minty fluoride ones, and sucking ice-lollies.
Food was a bit of a problem due to taste buds and mouth probs, but I found that anything 'beige' was OK - hence meals of mashed spuds, baked white fish, fried egg sandwiches, pasta, porridge and ice-cream. Normally I love curries, tex-mex, anything garlicky but had to forgo these treats. You get used to a restricted diet and it's not a big deal, in fact looking at it from a positive angle I lost weight and my clothes fitted much better (all weight put back on now due to several gluttonous celebrations on wine, chocolate and cake).
Re alternative/complementary therapies, I tried reflexology as a complete cynic but came to look forward to my weekly session, and it helped -- surprisingly-- with a particular problem I had. I don't know that I would want to try anything else though, but that's just me.
One book that I would urge anyone to read (not just the patient) is the utterly amazing and inspiring "It's Not About The Bike" by Lance Armstrong. As a fan of Tour de France, he's always been one of my all-time heroes and I read the book when it first came out. In fact, I bought extra copies to give away it was such a brilliant read. One of the things he says is that having this treatment is like passing through a fire but coming out stronger at the end, and I have to say that I agree 100% with that. -
Message 12
Posted by Emma - no relation (U2818673) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Binky, thanks for your post (and congratulations on having the end in sight). I realise I'm gravitating towards beige food on the days when my taste buds have gone. Dull, dull, dull. And you are right, of course, that drugs, side effects and treatment are very different for the different cancers.
Sunny, that sounds so stressful for you. Hope the big cheese has more luck.
Elnora, my uncle found the radiotherapy tiring and he didn't have as long a journey as your OH. I've heard Chillows recommended for burning patches but have no personal experience. I think they come up if you google the word (sorry, forgot to do link first).
ENR -
Message 13
Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Binky - so much of this chimes with me, and I was only the companion. I'm glad to hear that you have come so far. I always used to wonder about that phrase 'battling with cancer', but now begin to understand the sheer effort for people of all this.
On the tiring-ness of radiotherapy - OH is just in, having been also checked by the lovely woman who is overseeing his course as a whole. She said, 'You should also remember that you're visiting a cancer clinic, every day, and that's emotionally very demanding.' He's feeling much better for just having talked to her! -
Message 14
Posted by tillytrolly (U8311312) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
I'm pretty ignorant about all of this, never having experienced it (thank goodness) but I'd like to put in a plea for anyone who can help here, please, to post sources of help for partners etc of those with cancer. A friend of mine was faithfully & successfully nursed through her cancer by her husband (they had been married for over 20 years), but, having done this,he seemed to go to pieces & left her &, from what I can gather, there doesn't seem any hope that they'll be able to get back together again. She's been told that this tends to happen to couples who have been particularly close & they certainly were very much so. So anything that could prevent something like that happening should certainly be publicised.
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Message 15
Posted by tillytrolly (U8311312) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Oh, &, of course Best Wishes to any posters affected by cancer in any way.
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Message 16
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
That's so interesting about beige food. I just had my second tuna mayo sandwich, as I thought I'd have another shot since yesterday's was so hideously fishy. It was ok, but I won't be doing that again.
I feel fantastic today and keep thinking there's something wrong, but I just spoke to my oncologist who told me the last results were in from my bone marrow biopsy (no accelerated cells/blast count, so good news) and that I should be feeling better and to embrace it.
I'm just surprised to be feeling so good so soon.
Bx -
Message 17
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:24 GMT, in reply to tillytrolly
A friend of mine was faithfully & successfully nursed through her cancer by her husband (they had been married for over 20 years), but, having done this,he seemed to go to piecesÂ
We've been married for 33 years (childhood sweethearts and all that) and OH looked after me in such a caring and wise way. His way of 'going to pieces' after all this turmoil is to satisfy a life-long desire to buy a Ferrari. "Live for now and spend the relatives inheritance" is his new mantra. I couldn't give a fig about cars, but it makes him happy and that's what it's all about for me (and vice versa). -
Message 18
Posted by tillytrolly (U8311312) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Yes, that's no bad thing, Binky. When I say "went to pieces" I mean that he just couldn't stand to be near her any more....as if she were a constant reminder of serious illness & human mortality.
Glad to hear things are going so well, Basia. Embrace it, I think, is the right advice, just like Binky's husband buying his Ferrari (if you knew me, you'd say "Look who's talking") I think most of us don't live in the present enough -
Message 19
Posted by Mitch (U8863023) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Just coming here to add my support to Basia and ENR and well everyone that is dealing with cancer.
I've read the Lance Armstrong book as well and it was truly inspirational.
Mitch x -
Message 20
Posted by Kate McLaren etc (U2202067) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Tue, 09 Jun 2009 21:26 GMT, in reply to Sunny Clouds in message 6
Hi Sunny, just to say that I had the same experience as you, eventually had to be knocked out altogether while they rummaged inside, and it turned out that there was nothing the matter at all. But I agree, the waiting is awful. I have in the past had a dodgy mammogram but the wait for the next appointment was nothing like the wait for the womb thing - not sure why. So much sympathy and I hope you get the appointment quickly. You are right though that even if it turns out to be cancer it's a good one to have. -
Message 21
Posted by villageschoolmaam (U11233398) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Hi all, and warmest wishes to those coping.
Dad (very young 71) diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma (very nasty version of NHL) at stage 3 in early November and told the median survival 3 years. Chemo started following week. November/December ghastly.
6 sessions of R-CHOP, very very few side effects. Splendid reduction at half way and dad clearly on the mend. January/February quietly optimistic.
End of chemo Easter, inconclusive CT scan early May, PET scan end May. Spring quite jolly.
Doc rang last week to say PET scan clear - it's gone, for now at least as it's refractory. Dad walking, gardening, decorating, living life as normal. June really rather good so far...
Never never never give up.
KOKO (to quote the MFC/Healthy Eating Club),
vsm xx -
Message 22
Posted by Sixties Relic SAVE ML (U13777237) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Here's my happy-ending story.
I left my husband in Spring 2001. In August of that year I was diagnosed with breast cancer so had to cope on my own. (Well, children and friends were supportive but I was living on my own.)
I was whisked in for a lumpectomy very quickly; operation was okay, aftercare was excellent.
I then had 3 weeks of raditherapy which involved a long drive each day of about 30 miles. I had been in hopital with another woman also with breast cancer, we got friendly and shared the driving for the radiotherapy, which was great - mutual support as well as less driving.
I was then on tamoxifen for a couple of years (that was the worst bit - night sweats, etc, just like the menopause.)
I am now all clear - I just go for a mammogram ever 2 years now. -
Message 23
Posted by posh_scouse_pinnedwithpride (U2514024) on Tuesday, 9th June 2009
Binky, there are lots of copies of 'It's not about the bike' in poundland at the mo [due to one or two pages being a bit odd] I have bought several for friends.
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Message 24
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:17 GMT, in reply to posh in message 23
Posh, I'll go look in our local shop and pick up as many copies as I can. We have two local hospice charity shops who will be glad of them.
Re the driving long distances for radiotherapy, I understand why it's so (because not all hospitals have the nuclear medicine/radium facilities)but it just adds to the fatigue and worry of the illness. Plus -and this is a big gripe of lots of people - you have to pay for parking at hospitals these days and it's not cheap.
In fact, cancer is a very expensive illness in lots of ways, and I'm relieved that we finally (after a successful petition run by MacMillan/CancerBackup, IIRC)have got free prescriptions for all cancer patients as of April. Too late for me (I had a carrier bag of drugs each month) but thankfully will help others. -
Message 25
Posted by Emma - no relation (U2818673) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Thank you to Village School Maam and Sixties_Relic for your encouraging stories and congratulations and good wishes. I'm collecting them, particularly (obviously) about breast cancer. My best so far is being approached by an American lady on the tube who asked what cancer I had. Oh dear, I didn't realise it was tattoo'd on my forehead, but I suppose it was the stylish scarf arrangement. Anyway, she regaled me with her breast cancer experience, but the only point I really listened to was that she was 13 years clear and counting.
ENR -
Message 26
Posted by Boris Becka (U11094701) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
thank you for starting this thread, Emma (nr)
one of the saddest days of my life was having to attend the cremation of our best man, a fit marathon running, non smoking, 51 year old who died from lung cancer after six months of physio for shoulder pain....yep it was defrred pain and the cancer was well advanced
sorry to start with a gloomanddoom ending but at the risk of cross threading, spamming or whatever....get it checked out properly
{{{{{{{{{hugs to all}}}}}}}}}}}}} -
Message 27
Posted by Sixties Relic SAVE ML (U13777237) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Hi Emma, me again.
One bit I should have expanded. As mentioned, the bit that was hard was the post-op drug. I had got through the menopause okay - then the Tamoxifen was like really bad menopausal symptoms.
I stuck with this for 2 years, but then got so fed up I asked the doctor if there were any alternative drugs - and there ARE but they are ore expensive and so the doctors never start be using these! I changed to another than was much better, for a few months. However, at my next consultation, we discussed discontinuing altogether. Apparently these drugs are most effective for the first 2 years - the recommended 5 years is a bit of a safety net.
Because I had not shown any sign of the cancer spreading to my lymph nodes, we all agreed for me to stop taking any more drugs at all.
The moral of this tale:
1) if the drugs disagree with you, do push your doctor re alternatives.
2) you may not have to be on drugs for 5 years.
All the very best. Remember, for most people these days, breast cancer is a survivable disease. -
Message 28
Posted by Ell Kaye (U7798599) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 09:45 GMT, in reply to Sixties_Relic in message 27
Just bookmarking.... -
Message 29
Posted by Finally (U2221028) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Hi All, Great thread, thanks.
Elnora, Sorry to hear about your o/h. Not sure if this is any use to you but just incase.. My o/h was diagnosed with a leiomyosarcoma in his thigh, it was well over 11 years ago now. At the time it was all very scary, he had the slash and burn treatment, surgery followed by two radio treatmnets a day. He was an in-patient, but was very very very very fatigued. They prescribed first aquaeous creme, them diaprobase to sooth his skin (but i *think* that might have been after treatment finished....Sorry not to remember p'roply).
One significant worry was that no-one seemed to be able to hazard any guesses about were what the after effects on his mobility were likely to be: they just said we shall have to see. He had lots of physio at first, and now does pilates. I learned to do manual lymph drainage, as we were afraid that the lymph nodes would pack up. It's very soothing, but doesn't seem to be necessary every day. His leg tends to swell up a bit when he is tired, or on a long flight (has to wear a surgical stocking that he hates for flights) But simple walking will usually work it out again.
A few years ago, we both noticed that we needed more exercise, and took up Argentine Tango. Thats in spite of some residual discomfort on walking, enough to qualify for the blue badge parking scheme. I'd encourage you to apply for that as soon as you get a moment.
The trouble with limited mobility is that he still needs to take exercise, and dancing at least is controlled, and has music to help take his mind of what he is doing, and we enjoy the joint activity. May seem far ahead of where you are now, but it did all work out for us. I do wish you both the very best, please remember that it's tough on you too, so take some time out to look after yourself, it's important to keep up your strength, too
You are very welcome to swap email addresses, just shout if you would like to... F xx -
Message 30
Posted by Threeblack drapedwellsofmyown (U5254306) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 10:58 GMT, in reply to Finally in message 29
My dear friend was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins lymphoma and after 6 CHOP treatents is now on 6 monthly reviews
I was cooking for her and her tastes changed dramatically
I found that she wanted lots of veggie stuff as she could taste them
Also I made her a smoothie every morning and decanted it into bottles to pop in her fridge
A smoothie with ice cubes yoghurt banana and soft fruit is sippable when you do not want food but still has a good nutritional value
My friend had a great dane and cats throughout and she changed litter trays and walked the dog as much as she could
There were days when sheer exhaustion meant I walked the dog and did the cat litter but on her good days she did as much as possible
As an artist she was unable to concentrate on painting but as she recovered her talent did too
I was the next of kin for her as her children live elsewhere and I learned rather a lot about cancer and recovery
The news is good now
I wish all recently diagnosed with cancer the same excellent care and treatment my friend had
Naturally I wish them the same outcome -
Message 31
Posted by Celtic Tiger (U2229153) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Thought I'd share my cheerful story re breast cancer.
Last summer I noticed a very small dent in one breast, GP had me whisked into the Breast Clinic pronto and op followed a couple of weeks later. Because of the early detection, the cancer was small and had not spread so I only needed radiotherapy afterwards which I had absoutley no side effects from and I am lucky to live about 5 minutes away from the hospital. I ma now on tamoxifen - again no side effects.
I am my usual energetic self now and in April I had a breat reduction on the breast which had not been operated on (paid for by the NHS! - I thought I would have to go private for this.) and now my pert boobs are the envy of all my female friends. They look a lot better than a year ago!
I have several friends who have had breast cancer in the past 10 years and all have done well. -
Message 32
Posted by greensparklybejewelledone (U2283175) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:35 GMT, in reply to CelticTigerAgain in message 31
Wow, CTA, that's a good story.
Bash I was talking about you today to the SLV (well, she knew about you already, being one of the petition signatories). I'd forgotten that her speciality is cancer, as well as which her dad had cancer (kidney) too, and, it turns out, her aunt. (I hadn't forgotten about her dad.)
She said the new treatments for cancer involving the white cells are based on antibodies which is why there are fewer side effects than chemo that targets the cancer cells, and hits other cells too. Sorry, not well explained but it made sense when she said it... But I just thought it was interesting. She talked about her aunt and father, both of whom had the same cancer - I think it was kidney because it certainly involved the kidneys (she used her personal learning curve about kidneys to help in Scamp's treatment).
Anyhow, she said that her aunt installed a hospitial disinfectant/sanitiser at the door and made everyone use it all the time. She also carried one and made sure she sanitised herself after touching anyone at all. Her dad didn't bother with any sanitising or self-protection. The aunt is still alive and going strong but her dad isn't (she wasn't saying it was a direct cause and effect, just that it might have played a part) and that all your friends should be very aware that any sign of the tiniest sniffle and they should stay away. I know you know that, but just want to reinforce it.
I remember when I was coming home from the States to see Mary, I was terrified that I'd pick up a bug on the plane and not be able to see her. I went on to the maximum dose (or more) of Airborne ( and became totally OCD about sanitising. Whether it was fluke, or whether they worked I don't know, but I was fine and I did get to see her. She was very strict about this, until after her chemo when she saw /one/ friend with a sniffle. She went down with a cold and was floored for weeks.
But she (M) is another Good Story. She had very aggressive non-hormone breast cancer with a tumour the size of a grapefruit at diagnosis. She had very aggressive chemo to shrink the tumour so that they could perform the mastectomy (and after chemo the tumour was down to less than 1cm diameter) followed by radiotherapy. It was a long haul, but it's now four years since the initial diagnosis, three years since the end of treatment, and she's very well and strong.
Still no more news about my s-i-l but will post when I do, thank you Bash and everyone.
Did someoen mention Reiki? It's one of these treatments that I think should be free as it's not skilled (I do it). Some people report that it's very helpful, just in helping the body relax and be ready for healing. It's supportive, not interventive (is that word?).
Binky, just want to say too how pleased I am that you're doing so well too. I had no idea you were going through all this and would certainly not have known (not that knowing is necessarily a bad thing - depends on each person I'm sure). I think Mary would echo your point very strongly - the one about just getting on with it. She says that discpline got her through it - discipline in taking all the meds at the right time, resting enough, getting on with stuff when she could, and so on.
Sorry, rambling now.
gj
x -
Message 33
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:52 GMT, in reply to greenjewel
the new treatments for cancer involving the white cells are based on antibodiesÂ
If you're taking a drug with "-mab" in the name (rituximab, mabthera etc) it's one of the new drugs. MAB stands for 'monoclonal anti bodies'. Referred to as The Magic Bullet, it's the great lifesaver which has transformed certain cancer treatments beyond previous recognition.
Thank you for saying that you thought I looked well. A good wig and heavy use of cosmetics can work wonders! -
Message 34
Posted by greensparklybejewelledone (U2283175) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:23 GMT, in reply to Binky in message 33
<
If you're taking a drug with "-mab" in the name (rituximab, mabthera etc) it's one of the new drugs. MAB stands for 'monoclonal anti bodies'.>
Ah, so I did understand, more or less.
That was a wig? Gosh!
My mum has worn a wig for over forty years, so I thought I could spot 'em a mile off. Obviously not!
gj
x -
Message 35
Posted by Celtic Tiger (U2229153) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Yes, I am SO, SO lucky to live where I have easy access to what is possibly the best breast cancer clinic in the UK. Not only is the technology the most up to date but the staff are wonderful and so caring.
Anyway best wishes to anyone coping with cancer of any sort. -
Message 36
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:46 GMT, in reply to greenjewel in message 34
gj, the newer wigs are 'monofilament' and have breathable scalps, which have the extra advantage of looking like flesh. No-one looks that closely, it's the overall 'image' that people seem to take in. I bought 9 wigs in total, and my favourites are by Rene of Paris (hope this doesn't get modded as it's a useful bit of info for anyone searching for a realistic wig). My hairdresser cut the two main ones into my own style (blonde bob)for work, but my fun ones were in the style of Tina Turner and Sharon Osborne.
Something else that I did sing the praises of at the time was the 'Look Good Feel Better' campaign. It's an American idea and lots of cosmetic houses donate products (I'm talking Chanel, Clarins, Clinique, MAC, Estee Lauder and Bobbi Brown here girls).
You need to find out where your local centre is (usually the main cancer hospital in your area) and let them know you want a place on the next available class. The places are restricted to 12/14 at most, I believe.
You spend a lovely afternoon messing about with all sorts of items with the expert advice of a beautician (1 per every 2 patients, so very good attention). I learned about drawing-in eyebrows and using blusher properly, amongst other things. You get a goody bag with full-size products which in everyone's case was worth over £200 each attendee (an Estee Lauder foundation alone would be £20 I suppose - don't know 'cos I don't buy that particular one myself). I think my bag was more than that as I got a big bottle of Dior Poison as well, plus I won the gorgeous table decoration made with fresh flowers. We all swapped stories and boosted each other up - it was really a lovely afternoon. -
Message 37
Posted by greensparklybejewelledone (U2283175) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:51 GMT, in reply to Binky in message 36
What a great idea. AFAIK there's nothing like that here - certainly my friend didn't know of it if there was, and she was treated at the main breast care unit in Ireland. She had probs getting fitted with a mastectomy bra - services here being less that good enough. In fact I was sending her various suggestions from ML (esp Laura ISTR).
gj
x -
Message 38
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:59 GMT, in reply to greenjewel in message 37
this is the weblink -
Message 39
Posted by Eilis (U11273736) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
greenjewel,
the Irish site is under construction but there are contact details here:
Best wishes to everyone here. -
Message 40
Posted by greensparklybejewelledone (U2283175) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:07 GMT, in reply to eilis in message 39
Thanks Eilis, I've bookmarked that for future reference.
gj
x -
Message 41
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Binky, that's fab about the Look Good campaign. I know a hairdresser who stopped doing commercial work and went into doing wigs for cancer patients but didn't know about the cosmetics. Good stuff.
Well, I had a bit of a wake-up call today. I obviously overdid it yesterday as I feel nowhere near as bouncy as I did yesterday. Can't concentrate on anything much. I knew when I was at the vet's that I'd overstepped it, but when one of the cats is peeing blood and I need an appt asap....
I have an amazing support system of help with friends, neighbours and AA pals, and I was just thinking how I didn't want to call anyone and ask for help with laundry and shopping when a dear neighbour knocked to asked if I need anything. It's really hard asking for help, but I'm learning.
God, I'll get my neighbour to add hand sanitiser to my shopping list.
Bx -
Message 42
Posted by Binky (U4657795) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:41 GMT, in reply to Basia in message 41
It's really hard asking for help, but I'm learning.Â
What goes around, comes around.
A couple of years ago, friends of ours had a premature baby; they were always at the hospital incubator it seemed to me. We desperately wanted to be useful and the only thing I could think of was to cook lasagne, a pudding, prepare a salad and OH is a mean real bread baker. We did this for weeks until the baby was out of danger. Fast forward two years and our friends were doing the same 'food parcels' for us. Life is so amazing sometimes. -
Message 43
Posted by Morse Lives (U1863548) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
A couple of tips for people having chemo, and radio.
~ Always ask for help with any side-effect, there is much more out there than I thought, and put up with more than I needed to as a result.
~ Fresh pineapple took away that nasty taste in my mouth, and made it feel fresher for while.
~ Ginger biscuits and tonic water helped with the nausea.
~ Aloe vera gel 100%,kept in the fridge soothes the skin after radio.
The other thing was, for me, the sheer boredom of the whole process. Too tired to concentrate , and do anything much, TV and radio, and my four walls became tedious in the extreme.
It gets better after treatment is over.
PS xxx -
Message 44
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Think of it as a transferable skill and bring it over from the AA context in which you have mastered it, perhaps?
It's cross-threading, really, but that sentence just jumped out at me for comment although I'm lucky in that I have very little to contribute to this thread - unless you count a mother-in-law who had breast cancer nearly thirty years ago now and is still with us - and a friend who had it about eight years ago and has made a good recovery.
Fee -
Message 45
Posted by Threeblack drapedwellsofmyown (U5254306) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:14 GMT, in reply to Basia in message 41
Basia
You need to learn to be loved
You give so much love so accept it back right now and look to the day you can pass it on
Hard but folk love you and care for you
Just be happy to give them jobs to help you through this patch
Sorry to be blunt but it is a lesson I have learned
This message comes with help from three leopards who want you to know they care.. -
Message 46
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Thank you Threewells, Binky and Fee. I keep thinking I don't deserve all of this, because I take care of animals, not people, but there is the AA giving back aspect, and perhaps my friends are paying me back for all the parties and dinners I've thrown over the years, excl mk. As to my neighbours, well, I like them and really like living in a community and stopping and chatting, they're really nice people.
My neighbour who took my laundry just brought back a small bag of groceries and I tried to pay him and he refused, just pointing at his cheek. Had to give him an air kiss.
I just found out that the drug company that makes my leukemia medicine, Glevac, is giving me a my first year's supply free, because of my self-employed freelance status (ie I don't work, I don't get paid) and I apparently qualified for their Patient Assistance Programme, which I didn't even know existed. Dr Lovely set this up for me. This takes the pressure off my first few weeks of taking the drug as my health coverage hasn't kicked in yet. It's quite nightmarish all of this in the US, but I've just been saved a massive headache. Ironic isn't it, that when you're feeling at your absolute worst, you have to navigate your way through one of the worst health systems in the Western World. -
Message 47
Posted by Mitch (U8863023) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Basia
I'm a great believer in that you get back what you put out into the world. You always come across as someone that puts a lot of good out into there. So look on what your getting back as a small 'repayment'(not the right word) for what you've put out there, be it for the cats or the support you've given anyone.
Mitch x -
Message 48
Posted by greensparklybejewelledone (U2283175) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:25 GMT, in reply to Basia in message 46
That's great news, Basia. And I'd like to echo everything threewells said. I know you have 'deserve' issues, but in this you're going to have no choice but to accept help. Perhaps an inner realisation that you /do/ deserve it, and deserve it very much, will follow soon. I hope so.
Much love,
gj
x -
Message 49
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
Thank you Threewells, Binky and Fee. I keep thinking I don't deserve all of this, because I take care of animals, not people, but there is the AA giving back aspect, and perhaps my friends are paying me back for all the parties and dinners I've thrown over the years, excl mk.Â
I don't think the question of being deserving or it being some sort of transaction really comes into it. Can you not turn it on its head and see that it would be selfish to deprive others of the satisfaction and pleasure they undoubtedly get out of helping?
Fee -
Message 50
Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Wednesday, 10th June 2009
First, to Finally. I'm really grateful that you took the time to write all this - and the phrase 'eleven years ago' jumped out at us first. It has been very scary, but OH seems to have been lucky so far with the mobility. His surgery team gave him some weeks (with surgical stockings etc) after the op to build up some strength in the leg, and have warned only about stiffening and no future in 'violent sports' (said with some wry amusement, as they looked at him). It would be very good to swap emails, if that's still all right with you? I think we now alert Keri via a message each in Notes and Queries?
I'm also encouraged by villageschoolmarm's dad. My own (older) dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in the New Year, but is doing remarkably well now, and in good spirits. And Sixties Relic's story is really heartening. I've three friends - mother and two daughters - who've all come through this. So more good news there.
Bash and Emma. Yes, as everyone else says, just accept everything. Nobody's doing accounts on what they're giving, or what you're taking.
xx
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