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Mental Health - parallel thread
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Message 1.Â
Posted by Mermaid the Swishy-Fishy-Tailed Wise One (U10731448) on Monday, 19th October 2009
This is the idea.
Someone annoys you in RL.
You bite your tongue at the time or can't think of a suitable reply till later.
Here you post those replies.
When you post, the person who annoyed you is consigned to Room 101, never to be seen again.
The hope is, you'll feel better for it and put the incident behind you.
NB. This thread is about RL encounters, NOT for complaints about other Mlers and their posts on the MB. -
Message 2
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Monday, 19th October 2009
Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:33 GMT, in reply to WindfarmMermaid, The Fishy-Tailed Wise One in message 1
The French have a name for it WFM - something like 'esprit d'escalier' mods - thought on the stairs or something similar - that 'oh damn' moment! -
Message 3
Posted by Provincial Lady (U2665629) on Monday, 19th October 2009
Staircase wit, yes. I would have gone up ten flights at least before thinking of a riposte!
-
Message 4
Posted by gigglemahanaz (U13930412) on Monday, 19th October 2009
I had an "encounter" this morning when I was out with toddler.
We were in Icland getting a few bits and bobs, little un was in her pushchair happily drinking her bottle, we got to the till, long queues, little un called out and was waving her bottle around, she wanted me to take it as she'd had enough, this "older" lady wanted to get through where we were standing and swung her basket around hitting little un in the face!!!
I ended up having a go at her for not looking where she was going she than turned around and said "You shouldn't have kids out at this time of day anyway you stupid b***h, I have to get to work and I'M IN A HURRY"
As she walked away I called after her "Mind the door on your way out love it's not big enough for your head or your ego".....as she was walking out the door after paying for her stuff she triped up going out the door and went flying.
I must say I did get a dirty look from her when I went out laughing me head off......no idea why! -
Message 5
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Monday, 19th October 2009
Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:51 GMT,
Blimey - The Bull is still a bit harsh.
The company speak for groups was
Forming
Storming
Norming
The Bull in the main is stuck in Storming -
Message 6
Posted by HamsterMama aka nifty-fifty (U14121030) on Monday, 19th October 2009
Oh good! Now I can say what I wanted to say this morning - smartened up a bit.
I think I have said elsethread that a former work colleague was both a bully and a control freak, and a devious manipulator as well. He only really had one true ally, and so they spent most of their meal breaks together - causing no small amounts of gossip and giggles.
Recently, he left for another job within the same firm. Instantly, the workplace became a happier brighter place to be in. Just as I am thinking I can cut down on my ADs, I get this bombshell:Last week, the *ally* took time off as we thought on sick leave,so we soldiered on without even tho' 2 of us were below par. Now we know the true reason. The control freak has left his wife and kids and moved inwith the ally!
I was astounded. My flabber has never been so ghasted. Stupid girl! AND, he thinks he can transfer back here...over my dead body!!
I very nearly used a 4-letter word but managed to stop myself.
The ally is a very intelligent woman, quite a feisty feminist - but she just goes to mush where he's concerned. Stupid, stupid girl!!
EEUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. Feel better now. -
Message 7
Posted by anagramladysin (U13783319) on Monday, 19th October 2009
Ripostes.
It's nice to be well-armed ... my favourite is "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent". By the time they have worked that one out you can be down the next corridor.
But the one I was most pleased with myself about was in school where a swaggering cocksure 18ish boy came into a random class I happened to have been landed with and announced to everyone "Women are only good for two things, and one of them is cooking."
I smiled gently and told him, never mind, I am sure you will find out what the other one is, one day.
Collapse of stout party.
The girls in the class were SO happy. -
Message 8
Posted by HamsterMama aka nifty-fifty (U14121030) on Monday, 7th December 2009
Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:45 GMT,
Oh dear! Is it just me that has a problem with managers?
I firmly believe in giving the customer in front of me my full attention - unless it's an absolute emergency fo course! This time of year is so much busier which makes it harder to concentrate anyway. The manager knows what meds I take for pain relief, depression etc, but she still insists on interrupting me for non-emergency things despite all of this.
So today I had had enough, and turned to her and said that if she didn't mind I prefered to just concentrate in one direction.
"It's a good thing you're not a manager," she says, before flouncing off.
"Don't worry, I learned _that_ one a long time ago!" I replied.
How I *wish* I could have said, " Pity it's such a bad thing that you are!" I wouldn't mind so much if she was a paragon of accuracy - but she's far from it!
Mercifully, my customer was quite good-humoured about it.
Phew! That's got _that_ off my chest! Does she go into Room 101 now? Yes? Really?
Oh jolly good! -
Message 9
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Friday, 11th December 2009
Clearout time. Here you go, room 101, you can have them...
1. The ex-friend (as of last week) of a decade's standing who likes to phone up saying she's taken too many paracetamol. I used to phone for an ambulance, but then I tried saying "Of course not. I respect your autonomy." She got off the phone fast and didn't repeat that one. But there were variations on it.
Recently, it all came to a head. The endless requests to go and visit her (she lives two buses away). The endless reminders that she is agoraphobic and can't go out. (So where does she get all the paracetamol?) The endless, endless overdoses accompanied by every manipulative phone call in the book.
In hospital, after causing chaos on the ward and alienating most of the staff, she asked plaintively "Do they think I'm playing games?" I told her that I did and that I wasn't prepared to play them any more.
Room 101, she's all yours.
Then there are the friends that never call and expect me to do the calling. I stopped calling them all about four or five weeks ago.
Room 101, you can have all the miserable odss (anag) that didn't call me.
One did call after a month. She complained that I hadn't called her then rabbitted about herself. She got off the phone fast when I tried to say something about myself.
Room 101, you'll get her if she carries on like this. I'll give it a month.
There's my brother. He's a miserable old man who doesn't care about anyone except himself. The only time he shows any interest in me is when I've got computer trouble, when he turns into an unbearable know-all. He never phones our parents except when he wants something. He can't be bothered to visit them, even though he goes shopping about a mile away. Of course, he expects his share of their estate. I won't go into details on how he treats his wife, but I'm ashamed he's my brother. I don't see why I should keep phoning for him to moan, moan, moan, whilst I make all the effort to probe and find out that yes, he has managed to get out and do something enjoyable.
Room 101, you can have him because I'm not going to phone him any more. If he wants to phone me, that's up to him.
Then there's a little website. It's a password-protected place for a bunch of manic depressives. It used to be a place of mutual support, then it went peculiar. Fights broke out. People were banned. Others spoke out and they were banned. The content became graphically obscene (imagine going on the front page of a mental health website and being confronted with a video of a certain act, with all parts fully visible). There's been an amnesty and people have gone back, only for the site to become graphic again. I want to discuss my mental health, not see and read X-rated stuff. I'd rather not have learnt some of the vocabulary I read on there, for which I have no use whatsoever. (And never did when in a relationship.)
Room 101 - you can have what was once a quiet haven amidst friends and is now a place of visual and verbal obscenity.
There's my local MDF support group. Watch the old hacks look weary as the same people get manic and aggressive and see how few new people stay once they've been on the end of it.
Room 101 - you can have it.
There's my CPN for whom everything is a joke and who appears totally incapable of leaving a moment's silence unfilled, so that I can't get a word in edgeways.
Room 101 - you could have her, but she's probably got 50 other patients on her list that need her more than either of us do.
Meanwhile...
There's the old and dear friend who's also got bipolar, who gets very delusional but who also gets herself in the most extraordinary real life situations so a phone call from her sounding improbable is totally difficult to fathom out. She says she's got an inoperable brain tumour and has less than six months to live.
Room 101 - if I support her through all this and she turns out to be delusional and not to be taking her pills, you can have her. If she dies and I've been less than understanding, you can have me.
And while you're about it, you can have all the timewasters at the CAB that stop us giving time to the people that really need it. The hungry, homeless people, the ones living in unfurnished, empty, unheated flats, the ones whose benefits are mysteriously not coming through, the unintelligent, uneducated and bewildered. Room 101, you can have all the lazy so and sos who expect us to do what they are capable of doing for themselves, leaving the needy cases sitting for hours in our waiting room. And you can have the DWP's expletive phone lines and you can play their dreadful music every time someone opens your door. -
Message 10
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Friday, 11th December 2009
Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:52 GMT, in reply to Sunny Clouds (So are we changing how we log in or aren't we?) in message 9
Sunny - have a shoulder to help with this and a hug and chocolate, lots of chocolate.
I have been getting things together for now (fingers crossed) in my life so have not picked up on this.
I wish for Christmas some Sunny time for Sunny Clouds and if you think I can help practically am available.
Perhaps being selfish for a while may be a good option - but then the guilt kicks in.... -
Message 11
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
Thanks for the hug and choc, Angua.
I'm sorry, but I've been neglecting the main MH thread so I don't know how things are with you. I'll try and catch up with it. -
Message 12
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:13 GMT, in reply to Sunny Clouds (So are we changing how we log in or aren't we?) in message 11
No main MH thread or anything - main thing is you. Please do this some time without feeling guilty..
Wish there was a smiley thing for 'na na nana na'
Am doing well Sunny (hand firmly on wood)early days, up and down etc etc -
Message 13
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
I'm glad it's going well for you.
-
Message 14
Posted by Kris massblues (U14058894) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
OOOh am liking this thread...
Sunny, great post. Angua, glad life is picking up for you hun.
Ok, need to find some space in room 101 for my loathsome (now ex) Manager, who has been abroad for a month so didn't know I had been off work for most of that time.
Anywy, rang up to speak to him today and convo went something like this:
Kris: Hi John (not real name), did you have a good holiday? Am just checking in to see if my new work arrangements have been finalised.
J: Why aren't you here? Did you finish the counselling SOP's I asked you to do?"
K: I'm on leave for a while and the reports are with the HR.
J: Why aren't you here?
K: Because I have been having chemo
J: Why? Didn't you have cancer last year? Why are you 'suddenly' having chemotherapy now?
K: because it came back, and I shouldn't have to justify anything to you matey.
J: So does that mean you are going to be having more time off? I'm only concerned that we will be without on-site counselling support and there seems to be a lot of stress at the moment.
K:I've arranged to conduct on-line support during the day, as and when I can. Everyone knows about it, it's all organised, don't worry.
J: It seems to me that your 'illness' is probably going to go on for some time. I mean, i'm sorry you have cancer again, but it doesn't help us much does it.
At which point i put the phone down. And have drafted a letter of resignation.
Thing is, he really is the most unbelievable character. Has 'small man syndrome' in spades, and was once in the army for 5 minutes so still carries his loaded gun mentally in his head. Prat.
And he is not really my manager, although i have a dual role in the company so he is one of my managers for a very small amount of my time. He is 'orrible to everyone and winds his very intelligent and industrious colleagues into a twitching frenzy every day.
I resigned because of him last year but was persuaded back. Ain't going back this time, although i really do ned the money at the moment. But peace of mind is more important i think.
Have been furious about this for hours now and then found this thread, yay!
Room 101 for John please. Byyyyyeeeeeee. Prat.
Oh, and a temporary place in room 101 for my son, who has failed to do any of the 5 important things i have asked him to sort out before returning from Uni. Grrrrr. But can I have him back for xmas please because i do love him really.
Thanks,
kris -
Message 15
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
John sounds like he belongs in there. I hope you've enough money to keep going whilst you look for another job.
If you want to sign on, you may get "sanctioned" (i.e. lose benefits) for having left your job. If that happens, it might be worth giving a tribunal a go for constructive dismissal. You don't have to follow it through, but getting it started may be enough to stop the sanctioning.
If you're not bothered about the benefits, sign on anyway, because you get NI credits which count towards your pension.
Here endeth the unasked for lesson on JSA. -
Message 16
Posted by HamsterMama aka nifty-fifty (U14121030) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:15 GMT, in reply to kris in message 14
Oh kris. Managers eh? Who'd have 'em!
He sounds like the person who issued one of my colleagues from another branch with a stage 1 warning for daring to take time off work for chemotherapy. Do they think this is some form of picnic or what?
I reckon there should be a special room (101a or 102 maybe?) for managers.
Sunny, very strong post earlier and very practical advice for kris and anybody else who might need it.
Nfx -
Message 17
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Saturday, 12th December 2009
I forgot to mention, if you go for ESA, look on the benefitsandwork website. Halfway down the home page on the right hand side, there's a free thingy that enables you to work out if you're eligible.
Now, I don't doubt but that you are eligible if you're ill enough to need chemo, but this thing shows you the criteria. That's important if you get called for a medical, because the questions you get asked aren't on all-fours with the criteria, so you need to know what to draw their attention to. -
Message 18
Posted by tillytrolly (U8311312) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Brilliant idea for a thread, Merms....haven't got anything myself at the mo (except for some person who keeps adding asterisks to my name on a list somewhere), but I'd like to consign the manager of a friend of ours. Friend's wife (who is also our friend, of course) has cancer, but it's never affected his work. However, recenzly, some kind of special project has started. His manager said to him that he supposed he wouldn't be too keen to do much more than he's doing at the moment because of wanting to spend time with his wife. Our friend said he would do his best & got the reply "Let's put it this way....the best thing would be if your wife made a miraculous recovery or died very quickly"
And another one for Room 101 is another friend's manager....nothing to do woth her, but a 20 year old she works with lost her brother in a car accident recently....her parents found him lying in the road when they were on the way hone. Her father was standing for some kind of position in the church her manager also attends & the manager favoured a different candidate. The manager kept trying to argue about it at work, but she refused to get drawn into it (her father is neither unpleasant nor argumentative either) Her father lost the vote & when she went to work the next day the manager brought up the subject by saying "Now your parents have got another thing to be sad about....." (basteward !!!)
Now, off to find that woman who's been throwing asterisks about.......... -
Message 19
Posted by Sunny Clouds (U7606212) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Some managers seem to delight in using their position to be horrible. A nice manager (as well as a competent one) is a precious thing.
-
Message 20
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:25 GMT, in reply to Sunny Clouds in message 19
Thats very true Sunny and they are normally caught out by the masty ones who will do anything to suceed.. -
Message 21
Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Like Sunny, I am a volunteer in an advice centre and my manager and deputy are both really nice. But the deputy drives me potty. If you ask her a question she will give you an answer before you have finished the explanation. A few weeks ago I had to find a way of telling her she was wrong.
Then a week later I got a little note telling me that what I knew all along was right, so I had been wrong.
It's enough to drive you to drink. hic. -
Message 22
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:49 GMT, in reply to Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) in message 21
Have just opened a red wine Skylark - one for you perhaps? Glug glug.. -
Message 23
Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
In reply to Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor:
Oh, how very kind. I shouldn't have another.
But perhaps a tiny drop? -
Message 24
Posted by Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor (U3750755) on Sunday, 13th December 2009
Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:26 GMT, in reply to Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) in message 23
Here you go Skylark - careful its a large glass, just say when.. -
Message 25
Posted by HamsterMama aka nifty-fifty (U14121030) on Monday, 14th December 2009
Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:52 GMT, in reply to Angua - the vegetarian werewolf and Official Shoe Monitor in message 24
Shall we just put all managers in room 101 just to be on the safe side? Apols to any 'nice' ones but they prbably weren't going to stay that way for too much longer if they wanted to succeed anyway....
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