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Otherwise - Worrying about dying
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Message 1.Ìý
Posted by English Teacher in Athens (U13223126) on Monday, 18th January 2010
Does anyone else worry about dying? Or has done so in the past and found a way of dealing with the 'fear' and put it to the back of one's mind. I'm not necessarily referring to situations where, on health grounds, or at the end of a full and long life, death is more 'expected' and accepted, but the fear that younger 'fit and healthy' people might have.
I had a conversation the other week with someone who said that he'd read, and hoped, that his fear of dying would gradually lessen because the body prepares the brain somehow and that, 'psychologically' we are conditioned to the inevitable somehow. He likened this conditioning to the fall of leaves from a tree in autumn - the tree knows it is a process. The big difference is obviously that the 'spring' of new life in some form, for we humans, is only hoped for/expected by those who have certain beliefs or faiths. Dealing with death when there is no such hope is somewhat different.
Since that conversation the whole subject of the fear of death seems to have occupied my thoughts more than it should, and it's been a little unsettling. I'm fit and healthy and still have many years to go before I reach the average life expectancy age.
Your thoughts, your own feelings, comments, recommended reading or anything else you wish to say would be appreciated. I just hope that by raising the issue I don't start the worry for others.
Finally, if anyone thinks this subject unsuitable for these boards please do catpee - I will quite understand. -
Message 2
Posted by Reggie Trentham (U2746099) on Monday, 18th January 2010
I'm not sure from reading your post whether you are talking about the fear of dying or the fear of death. They are two completely distinct things as far as I'm concerned.
As I get older I fear dying ie the process of death more and more. Dementia like Jack wooley, a long lingering pysical ilness, anything that would incapacitate me and make life not worth living. It's why as I age I become an increasingly hard line supporter of euthenasia/assisted death. Unfortunatel there are primitively minded people around who are determined to deny us this.
As an atheist I never have had any reason to fear death and still don't. -
Message 3
Posted by English Teacher in Athens (U13223126) on Monday, 18th January 2010
Reggie - thanks for your reply.
I'm really thinking about death itself, rather than the dying process.
I don't know what's happened to my thinking of late. It's never been in the forefront of my mind before but since my friend discussed it with me I've had difficulty dealing with it 'rationally'.
I think my starting point is that I love life, and active living, so much, I just don't want it to end...... ever. But this will no doubt change as I get older.
What's concerning is that I'm thnking of it now, and wasting time that I should be spending thinking and doing more productive/enjoyable things. I need to know how to break the cycle of thoughts - perhaps writing about it here was the last thing I should have done....... more time wasted on the 'inevitable'. -
Message 4
Posted by pahnda2 (U14298760) on Monday, 18th January 2010
I think I understand you Shepherd's Spy and it's something I find difficult to comtemplate (so usually push it out of my mind). The thought that the world will carry on as usual but you will no longer be a part of it. The thought of your family and friends grieving for you. Maybe people have always had these feelings and that's why the concept of an after-life was 'invented'.
-
Message 5
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Monday, 18th January 2010
I'd recommend this book:
This tells you what happens to the body with various common conditions.
I fear Alzheimer's most. I also fear dying alone in my home and no-one knowing about it for days or even weeks.
But I've been thinking about death and dying since childhood. I'm morbid that way. I keep thinking of where I want to be buried and worry that I might not get that wish as I don't think you can transport bodies from Germany - only ashes.. and I don't really want to be created.
I once read that you get what you wish after you die. I just want a long and deep sleep with no dreams. Something akin to what I felt when I had to have a full anaesthetic. It was like a black velvet wave rolling up my body. Bliss. -
Message 6
Posted by sweetfeet (U3064123) on Monday, 18th January 2010
I've never really worried about dying. I worry about the people I love dying, but so far my own death hasn't bothered me. To be honest I haven't thought about it much.
Very few people close to me have dies, so I'm lucky.
Touching wood like mad here.
Now, like Reggie I do believe in dying with dignity.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was in her late seventies. She made a recovery and I remember her telling me that no matter what is wrong with you it's natural to fight for life because nobody wants to die.
Now she is in her very late eighties and dips in and out of dementia, (more in rather than out in truth), she is unable to get about without a carer and wheel chair and needs full time care of ever sort. Her life is not her own any more.
My long suffering dad is her carer, with some respite, but not much.
I spoke to her on the phone today (they live in Australia). As soon as my father passed the phone to her she burst into floods of tears and wept and wept telling me how she wants to die but no one will let her.
It as truly heartbreaking and I've battled with this all day.
I would hate to reach that point in my life. That is something to be feared I think. -
Message 7
Posted by Shirley Knott (U14164156) on Monday, 18th January 2010
I do, Shepherd's.
Quite a few years ago now, I lost three acquaintances in quick succession, all young, all female, all to cancer. It shook me to the core ( as it did many others) and ever since, from time to time, I find myself preoccupied with morbid thoughts.
I have to stop myself sometimes, from reading the hatched, matched and despatched page in the local paper, as it often preys on my mind.
It's worse in the wee small hours, that awful 2 or 3 in the morning time, so I've trained myself in aversion therapy. I've been known to recite posters names ( 100 easy, straight off! ) just to stop the bad thoughts.
Also I find it hard not to put myself in other people's situations - could be me, sort of thing.
I wish I could say something positive, Shepherd's, but by it's nature, this subject is not positive, is it?
Believe it or not, I'm quite an optimistic person most of the time! Always trying to see the funny or positive side. But I'm aware this is probably part coping mechanism.
B-T x
PS I read the Daily Mail - we're all doomed!!! -
Message 8
Posted by savannahlady (U2362903) on Monday, 18th January 2010
Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:17 GMT, in reply to Shepherd's Spy in message 1
This is what I believe about death: "no one should fear death itself, it is as natural as life. All that has life has its beginning and its end, and life exists in the time span in between. For those of us with no religious faith, who believe that death brings the end of an individual existence, the permanence of life exists in our personal achievements; in the memories of those who knew us, and in the way our lives affected them. In these things rest the continuance of something of ourselves. The value and meaning of life consist in living it fully and living it well.
Death touches us all. Perhaps the greatest lesson it teaches is that nothing lasts forever, not pain or sadness or grief. The experience of loss can make us more aware of the preciousness of life and of our need to make the most of the time we have. To achieve fulfillment for ourselves, and to make what contribution we can to the happiness and well being of our fellows, should be the lesson we learn".
These are words from a funeral service I wrote. I don't know if they help you and I don't know if you have a religious faith - I don't, I am a committed humanist. I have seen a fair amount of death in my lifetime - some of it quite close up. It has no fears for me, though, like everyone, it is the manner of our going which concerns all of us the most. I really really do believe that you have to live your life as fully as you possibly can. Death will come to us all and none of us can know when, so why think of it, just get on with your life and enjoy it - do the best you can with it so that when your time comes, your regrets are few in number.
It's all any of us can do.
Love
Savvie -
Message 9
Posted by Bearhug (U2258283) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
When I was a child, I used to be scared of going to sleep in case I woke up to find my heart had stopped - now I'm older, I do see there's a lack of logic there, but it was something that really worried me for a while when I was about 10, and I hated the theme tune to Medicine Now as a result (based on a heartbeat, as I remember.)
These days, death itself doesn't bother me. I was with my father about 10 minutes before he died in hospital (neither I nor the medical staff realised it was so imminent), after months of declining health from cancer. I was with my mother when she died, too. And I've thought quite hard about suicide in a past period of depression.
If I have any fear, it's about dying a slow and painful death. Or drowning (that's all those lifesaving courses I've done - although chances are you'd be out of it with hypothermia, at least in British waters, long before you actually drown.) Being dead is okay, it's the process of getting there I sometimes worry about. But there's bog all I can do about it, as most of us don't get to choose how we go, (although I do think you can get to a point through illness or old age where you can let go of life,) so mostly I don't worry. -
Message 10
Posted by crossjackrussell (U9607019) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
I used to get quite disturbed (usually in the wee small hours) by thoughts of death. The nothingness of it. The thought that those who have lived before and who I have loved are now nothing despite their zest for life etc.
I don't think about it as much lately or rather other thoughts keep me awake at night these days. But still can't come to terms with the nothingness of it iyswim. All tied up with scary thoughts about infinity and time. -
Message 11
Posted by Dirigibles was here (U7278225) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
Shepherd's Spy - yes, morbid thoughts all the time, but especially, like Brick train, in the middle of the night.
Didn't used to be this way, so assume it must arise from numerous bereavements, and older age. -
Message 12
Posted by English Teacher in Athens (U13223126) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
Firstly, a note of thanks for your comments so far.
Didn't used to be this way, so assume it must arise from numerous bereavements, and older age.Ìý
I must admit that there have been several deaths of friends and acquaintances of late and this, coupled with my friend's own fear of death, has brought all this to the forefront of my mind too frquently. I do hope that this phase passes soon or that I find some strategy of dealing with it. I really do get quite anxious at times. -
Message 13
Posted by Dirigibles was here (U7278225) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
I'm sorry that I can't offer any helpful coping strategies, Shepherd's Spy, but the replies show that you are not alone.
-
Message 14
Posted by Sad Border Collie (U2036041) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
Yes I also have such thoughts recently. Like Dame C I worry about the practicalities. I've recently cared for someone through a very difficult illness. I was privileged to be able to do it as I love the person very much but I realise that there will be no-one to do that for me.
The recent series on nursing homes by Jerry Robinson also haven't helped much. Euthanasia exists here in Holland as an option under some circumstances but the will to live is very strong and many have a slow non-specific decline so I wonder how you pick the right moment.
As so many live alone now, I wonder if there is not a potential industry waiting to be born of checking in on us every day to see if we are still here!
I read once that a possible way to do it was to put a sensor on the fridge door and if you don't open it at least once a day it triggers an alarm!
About being dead, I just hope for the best really!
QBC -
Message 15
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
You know, Quizzical, I've thought of that, too.
A British regular at the English library died about two years ago and it was only the volunteers working at the library who noticed he'd not been in for a few days who notified the police. He'd been dead for at least three days when they found him. No post mortem was carried out.
Anyway, as this was the second time that library volunteers had noticed that a regular user hadn't been seen for a few days and had got the police involved, they tried thinking what they could do.
Even I've mulled the thing over. The organisation would be called "I'm Still Alive" and would involve regular checking in - at the interval of one's choice. You'd have to tell them of holidays and maybe give them the name of the person who has your keys and can be contacted if you don't respond to a phone-call or e-mail.... -
Message 16
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
SS,
My mum's best friend died about 10 years ago now and she said that Enid slipped away when she was holding her hand. It was so peaceful, she said, that she is not afraid of dying any more.
My relatives have died in their sleep without any prolonged illness .. or even illness.. just from old age. -
Message 17
Posted by goalpostsoflife (U10655386) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
<>
You're expressing something quite close to my own feelings, crossjackrussell. I don't know quite how to become more accepting of my own death, quite apart from others'. I've thought a great deal about death for as long as I can remember being conscious, though I go for long periods now without being consumed by it. I love life, sometimes so much that it overwhelms me, and I know, rationally, that nobody can live forever.
Also, it's really the dying, more than the being dead, that terrifies me, as others have highlighted here.
I usually hide my real thoughts about it all. But I need to find some way to come to terms with it and sometimes I think that's my ultimate aim in life, to become content with the notion of my own demise, which, again, is slightly different from ever hoping to accept the death of people we love.
Reading others' musings here is interesting. I'll leave off from mine now before they unravel further! -
Message 18
Posted by Dresdenshepherdess (U3509991) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
I genuinely thought I was heading for the exit a few weeks ago. I'm still frailish, but I reckon I'll make it this time.
The worst thing was worrying about leaving the daughters in the lurch. And the dog.
Couldn't contemplate how my husband might feel. He kept me sane. I'm very lucky. -
Message 19
Posted by greatcrestedglebe (U2256470) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
Shepherd's Spy - you are not alone in this.
Up to a certain point in my life I didn't think about it all. Then one of my Aged P's had a stroke , and the other fell and shattered their ankle. Both have recovered, they lead a full and pretty active life, having all their marbles and then some, but it made me realise that some day i will get the phone call saying that one or other of them has gone and I fear that greatly. It's not the death that frightens me - it's that fact there will be such a huge hole in my life. I have suddenly realised that I too will shuffle off the mortal coil and I actually don't fancy it much.
The idea of my parents dying in turn makes me worry about me dying and leaving my children. And dying, not having seen and done things I want to do. I try to do some of them when the opportunity arises but being a bit trapped on the hamster wheel of job and family, I do sometimes feel that I will work and work and then drop off the perch without doing stuff and the idea of that just makes me cross!
Also - there is more of me than there should be weight wise and i feel that the press whip it into such a frenzy - if you are the slightest bit overweight then you will get diabetes, heart disease, have a stroke and die and then it will serve you right for being a drain on the NHS. This does worry me - but when i am calm and logical I know that freaking out about it will probably do me more harm, But in the long dark moments of the night, things always look worse.
So I fight the obsession down. I go for a walk, and eat less fat and I enjoy my life and family and ring the aged P's for a chat (tonight we discussed the Archers at some length - we all like Jazzer but want to beat Helen to death with a bag of organic carrots)and we made plans to meet up in February.
I think becoming aware of your own mortality is normal at a certain point in your life, but as with all things it's best not to let it take over. I'll try if you will!
Keep cheerful
GGGlebe -
Message 20
Posted by Silver Jenny (U12795676) on Tuesday, 19th January 2010
Years ago I was listening to a radio talk about the links in the chain of our ancestors and our own linked connection to our descendants. Quite comforting to imagine a chain link by link. [The ancestors are borrowed in my case because I was adopted but they seem to have been a nice bunch who would let me be part of their chain!]
I became more aware of mortality when my adoptive parents died years ago. I have the same irrational fear about nasty accidents [the indignity of same], painful prolonged illness and for me, dying alone. Since I live alone it is a real possibility. I am not worried for myself but the idea of the distasteful duties for those who have to clear up when they find me, if there is a time lapse, is not nice.
Never mind, I make sure I have clean underfugs, in case I am knocked over, and just KOKO. All one can do. "Better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
I do not of course discount night fears at 3am! -
Message 21
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
As you may or may not know, my life was knocked sideways when at around the age of 17, we had to do a book by Albert Camus in French and we were introduced to existentialist philosophy. I read more around the subject and a bit on nihilism which is closely related to it (one step on from existentialism in my view).
Until then, I felt as though I could rip out trees by the roots. I felt on top of the world. I felt certain of everything. I felt I could conquer the world.
Then I learn about the absurdness of life etc. and it was as though someone had whisked away the carpet I was standing on.
Since then I have thought a lot about the utter futility of living. You live, learn, do, and then die. (Or as one sticker here in Germany -and in German - puts it: work, shop, die.)
Nearly all the stuff you have accumulated in life will end up on the rubbish heap. All the knowledge you have accumulated in life will be snuffed out.
Now.. lots of people have told me "Ah, but you live on in your children". To which I say "Phooey". How many people can remember or even name their great-grandparents? And beyond that? Nope. You won't be able to name an ancestor that lived in, say, the 17th century - unless they were very famous.
Which is why, I think, I do so much needlework and handicrafts and scatter them throughout the world. I think it is the hope that even a hundred years or more after I have gone, something of the hundreds of things I have made will still be around in this world. Even if people don't know who made it any more, it will be evidence that I existed.
Maybe that is one reason why I like museums so much. I look at everything and think of the people who designed and made the items - including the people who got the resources to make the product in the first place. -
Message 22
Posted by Bearhug (U2258283) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
You won't be able to name an ancestor that lived in, say, the 17th century - unless they were very famous.
Ìý
I can. Not because they were very famous, but because none of them ever threw out anything ever, and I've a book owned by one of them that goes back that far. And when we get to the 18th and 19th centuries...
It's not necessarily a bad thing to throw everything out. -
Message 23
Posted by sweetfeet (U3064123) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I can name ancestors from the 17C too.
Not one bit famous, more the result of a zealous family tree person.
Anyway, isn't the point of living on through your children more a genetic thing?
Plus my recollection of Existentialism, from my university days, doesn't quite square with yours Dame C.
Not just Camus as I recall. -
Message 24
Posted by Lynnie P (U3585914) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I fear death too - always have. I am most indignant that I have to die at all because in spite of the many awful things that have happened along the way I love life. Its the thought of it all going on without me I can't stand (what an egomaniac!). Not just my loved ones but the world in general - and the beautiful places I love. The thought of not seeing them again...oooh it hurts. A wise person once told me that life was here before I existed and will continue when I am no longer here. No comfort at all I'm afraid! I have always longed to see what was here before I arrived and I don't want to miss anything afterwards either.
I try not to dwell - and of course, we have no say in the matter anyway. But in the early hours of the morning... -
Message 25
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
On the other hand.. you can look at it this way.
No matter can be destroyed. The universe is.. what? 13 billion years old?
So all the matter that was around at the time of the Big Bang is still around today. Just in a different form.
So when you die and your atoms get dispersed, they will live on in some other form. So you won't be annihilated, you will be transmogrified, metamorphosed. -
Message 26
Posted by Lynnie P (U3585914) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
That's a bit of a comfort...I think!
I have been thinking further. I can't stand those people who get themselves frozen for posterity - how dare they take up space in the world when they have had "their" time. My wishing to remain here is the same I suppose.
One thing this has made me think about (thank you so much shepherd spy) is the way I live my life. I think one reason I want to stay is because I don't think I have got it "right" yet. I am a terrible procrastinator, I act as if there is all the time in the world. I wonder if that is why I do it, procrastinate I mean. If you put things off until tomorrow you can kid yourself there will always be a tomorrow, can't you?
Hmmmmm...more thinking needed...
LynnieP x -
Message 27
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
there may be a tomorrow.. but you might not be in a position to enjoy it any more... e.g. accidents that leave you paralysed, strokes etc...
Carpe diem.
When my schoolfriend's younger brother died of a brain haemorrhage at the age of 35, it gave me the incentive to put a bit of a spurt on. -
Message 28
Posted by Lynnie P (U3585914) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I have experienced similar things myself Dame C - but I am obviously a great kidder-of-myself..I am after all 62 next month!
-
Message 29
Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I still think I'm 28 and can't understand why I get so puffed out in the gym these days.
-
Message 30
Posted by Sad Border Collie (U2036041) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
Dame C - I also think exactly that about living on via other generations.
Even those of us who can remember names etc don't really know that person. I don't think they can be said to be living on in any real way.
I alternate between trying to see transitory things (as Japanese cherry blossom) as being the most beautiful - or hoping for reincarnation in some form!
QBC -
Message 31
Posted by douglas the rabbit (U13762692) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I think about death quite a bit, not least because I'm approaching the age my maternal grandmother (and namesake) was when she died. Plus I've long outlived the age reached by my own father. Plus fairly recent death of best friend from university (cancer, fifties).
I'm not at all afraid to be dead because I'm an atheist and see death as complete personal extinction. But I do fear the process of dying.
I'm also scared that I may go and die whilst people are depending on me - three elderly rellies in particular need me for practical and emotional support. Then there's a very dear OH whom I would hate to leave in the lurch, and two young adult DDs who would, I think, be very hacked off if I pegged out.
Lastly I would be bluddy furious not to have had a chance to do all the things I want to do - particularly to read all the books I want to read.
I'm very reluctant to get drawn into a discussion on Existentialism on which I am no expert, but my recollection of it is that one first recognises the futility of human existence, and then shrugs it off with Gallic insouciance and goes on to justify one's pointless life through worthwhile activity (political engagement, say, if one is Sartre). I've always found it quite a cheering philosophy for an atheist. (If I've misunderstood it please don't tell me...)
Hope that those who are being oppressed by intimations of mortality at the moment will be able to put their fears to one side.... -
Message 32
Posted by Bearhug (U2258283) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
I would be bluddy furious not to have had a chance to do all the things I want to do - particularly to read all the books I want to read.
Ìý
Blimey, I am only in my 30s, and I've already given up hopes of being able to read all the books I want to read, even if it's the only thing I did with the rest of my life! For every book I read, the "want to read" list seems to grow exponentially!
But I find it more comforting to think I'll never run out of books than I would to think that I've only 2 or 3 more to go (though I do also reread good ones.) -
Message 33
Posted by Bractondefeated (U3173859) on Wednesday, 20th January 2010
OP - oh, yes, a lot. I can be quite terrified of my death - and I hate to admit it, it's for selfish reasons, not because of the grief my passing would cause my loved ones. Such terror is odd for me, as a Christian but very powerful, particularly right now as it was my birthday on Sunday!
The onky secular way I find to cope is to tell myself that in terms of consciousness I die every night when I go to sleep -at least, when I'm not havingh dreams, and I'm not afraid of that so I shouldnt be afraid of death. I also list to myself all the things I shall be glad to be free of eg excessive political correctness, or - cont p.94
Bracton -
Message 34
Posted by funnyjazzbaby (U14389829) on Sunday, 30th May 2010
I can't remember what I was looking for when I found this thread, nor how, as a dedicated lurker, I missed it before.
As I am closer to my eightieth birthday than my seventieth, the topic arises in my mind far more often than is probably healthy.
I have no religion as such and the learned people who have had such an impact on Dame C's thinking have had absolutely none on mine.
There aren't too many things I still need to do, even had I been well enough and I am totally resigned to the fact I won't live for too many more years.
Like most of you, my dread is that I might lose my independance or suffer a lingering painfull illness and there be no one left who might care for me. I have never had children of my own.
When my mother was dying of cancer, and she knew she was, she insisited on talking about the holiday she would have with me in Oz when she "Got better".
I believe that, whatever the next few years may throw my way. I will cope the best I can, and will leave this life knowing I did my best in sometimes difficult circumstances.
The inevitability of death itself holds no fears for me.
snip -
Message 35
Posted by Kate McLaren etc (U2202067) on Sunday, 30th May 2010
Sun, 30 May 2010 07:09 GMT, in reply to snip pets in message 34
Am amazed I haven't posted on this thread. The answer is: most of the time, no. Occasionally: absolute terror. Although I don't look forward to a lingering/painful death any more than anyone else does, I don't think it's that: I think it is the existential thing of trying to imagine my "not-being" which just sends my brain into a flat spin. Mind you, the concept of living for ever on this earth has exactly the same effect. -
Message 36
Posted by Helen (U1476131) on Sunday, 30th May 2010
Sun, 30 May 2010 07:56 GMT, in reply to Drystane Dyke in message 35
I ponder this when I think about my beautiful, sweet-tempered friend L who had to choose between terminating a pregnancy to have treatment, and accepting that her cancer would spread to the point where it was untreatable while she was pregnant, and who chose to give life to her son instead of trying to hold on to life for herself. Her son is the same age Daniel would be, had he lived, and L is on chemo with no expectation that she will live to see him start school.
It makes me realise that I've had a really good time already in this life, so if I'm not marked for a long life, I don't really mind. I don't like thinking about leaving anyone behind who'd be sad about my death, though, especially o/h who has already lost a close teenage friend, a younger brother and a baby son.
As for dying, well, I hope it's not lingering and I hope I don't cause too much trouble to whoever has to look after me. Realistically I suspect it will be, though. -
Message 37
Posted by Miladou bloody but unbowed (U3518248) on Sunday, 30th May 2010
Sun, 30 May 2010 10:36 GMT, in reply to Shepherd's Spy in message 1
Shepherd's Spy, I'm not going to read the thread, so apologies if I'm repeating what someone else has already said. However, the subject matter caught my eye because I worried about dying from the age of eight. I probably caught this from my mother whose similar fear and associated depression caused her to make several suicide attempts (illogical, I know!). After a a lifetime of episodes of severe psychiatric illness, she's now 92 and the subject doesn't worry her at all. In fact, she's rather bemused (and also quite proud) of the age she is.
My own fear went away once I realised that it's a complete waste of time to worry about things you have no control over. I'm a great believer in Hobbes's view that life is nasty, brutish and short, that what can't be cured must be endured and that as my own life is so much better that that endured by the great majority of human beings who have ever lived or live on this planet, I should count my blessings.
PS As you've probably gathered, I'm an atheist!
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