This discussion has been closed.
Posted by Bearhug (U2258283) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Clearly Thorkjell isn't capable of the technology involved in starting threads himself. He's lucky I am kind enough to do it for him.
Sit yourselves down by the fire. There are fresh pashminas over here. Thorkjell will run and fetch some beverages and food.
Horses and turkeys also welcome.
Last thread:
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by Threeblack drapedwellsofmyown (U5254306) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Tue, 23 Feb 2010 10:38 GMT, in reply to Bearhug in message 1
Thank you Miss Bear
What a delightful place with underheated window seats so I can persue my hobby of ornithology in comfort
Uncle Thorkjell really is not himself is he?
As for spending the weekend away - well he was away - at a show in Ireland!
Displaying himself for financial gain
Is there no depths to his depravity?
Iza worried
Displaying himself for financial gain
Ìý
To be fair, I have long said that Tusher ought to send him up the chimneys or something to earn his living, so at least he is doing /something/.
Is there no depths to his depravity?
Ìý
Shallow and no end to it. Just ask Milly.
, in reply to message 3.
Posted by laReine-Astrid (U10636638) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Now just what is going on here?
First of all, we have a Bear-type human opening up the new Ceilidh, and then we have accusations of Thorkjell selling himself when he was away skiing for the entire weekend!
And what a delightful weekend it was. I was able to sit between Mr Jason Turner and Thorkjell and listen to them exchanging their tails of derring do and business plans.
Then Davina joined us for a little ear washing - but I believe Mr Turner declined. He is so devoted to Miss Binky!
There were plenty of other ladies around to see that nothing at all needed "curtains being drawn" upon the goings on.
Sometimes Thorkjell can be respectable - when kept under a firm but gentle paw.
Astrid (Queen)
, in reply to message 4.
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Hurgh hurgh hurgh.
Why is Unkel Thorks a servant now?
Henry (practising clicking his paws). (Unsuccessfully.)
, in reply to message 4.
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
My Queenliness, it is always a pleasure an' an honour to sit by yo' side. I do hope we didn't bore you. I'm not sure I've ever derringed ...yo' sure it was me?
Dass right.
Tanks to all fo' da wunnerful company. Mah new business plans wid Thorks and Winston is under way, but dey is under wraps still so if anycat who overheard anyting could keep it on the DL, I'd be truly grateful.
Turner, Jason Turner,International Business Cat
, in reply to message 6.
Posted by laReine-Astrid (U10636638) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Mr Turner, "derring do" means doing very exciting, heroic things. Of course, you have done many, especially in your youth.
You have now turned your talents to more serious business pursuits, which I shall, of course, remain silent about.
Astrid (Queen, gazing at Turner with her beautiful amber eyes)
, in reply to message 7.
Posted by Miss Mildred Bennet-Darcy (U5910415) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
So this is where we are now, then. Thank you for opening up for us, Ms Bearhug; cats should not have to do menial work and this includes unlocking and opening doors.
The heated window seats are indeed most pleasant.
, in reply to message 8.
Posted by Orsen Trapp Not An Ingredient (U2273997) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Good grief! I trot off down the road for a couple of days and there are 100 posts and a new thread. Well, I suppose I'll have to take a look and see what you were all talking about behind my back. It's enough to turn a horse to drink ....
The new premises seem very satisfactory.
Surely not ... and there was me thinking that horses were sedate and sober creatures who never touched a drop ...
Philippa
, in reply to message 10.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Tuesday, 23rd February 2010
Ay up mi ducks, Davina here.
That was a good weekend.
Mouse pate, or blackbird pie anycat? Servant, neeeoww.
I'm rather glad I was away with you all, it seems Ivan didn't have the best of times back home.
Cheers to our new thread.
Aaaagh! I missed my Angel! I missed going away for the weekend! What else did I miss? (Mouse mousse would be most acceptable, Davina).
I have been in hibernation - no, not really hibernation like bears (and incidentally, do Bearhugs not hibernate) but the sort of hibernation that squirrels do (Servant is unable to remember the term - idiot). I did briefly unhibernate last week, but then it snowed again.
However, today started quite well with some sun, needless to say it it now raining.
Sigh.
Milo
, in reply to message 1.
Posted by theBeastfromtheEast (U14315293) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Greetings.
Yes, thanks to Ms Bearhug for opening up. Such appropriate use of initiative - I do believe that with time, patience and dedication it might be possible for you to be trained up to be an adequate servant. Now, I know you will be dazzled by such a prospect, but with hard work (on your part, of course) it could be possible.....
Excellent weekend, was it not ? Such delightful company, although I confess that I was a little disappointed that nobody wished to join me on the ascent of Mont Blanc. However, it meant that the glory was all mine |
Elvis
, in reply to message 13.
Posted by Marigold (U14298439) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Greetings, Elvis.
Indeed, thanks Ms Bearhug for opening up, and congratulations on your taste in furnishings, most acceptable.
A small ticture to warm us up perhaps?
As ever
Samuel of Dublin
WILL SOME THINGY TURN THE SNOW OFF NEEEEOOOOOWWWW.
We are fed up with the inconvenience.
Bearhug thank you for finding us new premises. Oh is that a heated window seat. Come on willow come and cuddle here with me.
Sox and Willow xx
, in reply to message 15.
Posted by Nomadnomore - XNo - Quiz Queen (U3180380) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Rocky-dog would like to come and play a little if that is OK. He's quite good at eating snow and chasing snow balls but there might be a little too much about for him to deal with it all.
He will be very good at cleaning out litter trays of any solids.
He is very gentle really but a little bit bouncy.
, in reply to message 16.
Posted by Nomadnomore - XNo - Quiz Queen (U3180380) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
He's getting a bit bored now as no-one seems to want to play. There's a spare cushion just here so he'd going to have a little snooze.
Something Unpleasant stirs.
'Ere - Lizzy, Eliza, Tusher. Rocky-dog's 'ere. I like 'im. Not nearly as demanding as them cats ...
Sorry milady, didn't see you there. Was just going to throw a few snowballs for Rocky ... Snow's fun.
Hmmm ... be careful you don't puzzle him too much, Rocky-d*g. His brain is really rather small. Now, remind me, someone ... was Rocky the canine who has quite a good heat source? Or the one who was very good a food retrieval?
Philippa
, in reply to message 18.
Posted by IvanTigerCat (U14193606) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Fee,fi,fo,fum, I smell ...... DOG!
I'm not sure about this, I mean we have to maintain some standards. Gawd knows we've let in those ponies and the turkey in the past.
Oi, dog, yes you. Look, I've got something for you. Come over here and have a look at your 'uncle' Ivan's paw. Bit closer, that's it.
Claws.
Oh they fall for it everytime. Good job I've got one of my own to practise on.
Other than catching snowballs, do you have any valuable skills you can bring to this place Rocky-dog? Can you nip a horse's ankles. Nick sausages?
, in reply to message 19.
Posted by Nomadnomore - XNo - Quiz Queen (U3180380) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Heat source I think, also very good at nicking sausages but they also do a vanishing act at the same time.
Why would you wish to nip a horse's ankles? Good ankles are very precious.
, in reply to message 19.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
What on earth is this I see before me? It looks suspiciously like a.......a........D*G.
One that is bleeding rather copiously from it's ugly nose as well. All over the ladies' pashminas.
Who let such a creature in, I wonder? Not that I need to wonder for very long....................
BEARHUG!! Move closer to allow me to punish you.
Look, Thorkie, it's not my fault you are a) not capable of opening threads yourself and b) no good at the security. You've only yourself to blame.
, in reply to message 21.
Posted by Nomadnomore - XNo - Quiz Queen (U3180380) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Thorkjell I submit to you that Rocky-the-dog is a very friendly d*g that the cat fraternity could enjoy. The blood from his nose stopped very quickly, it wasn't a deep scratch, he knows his place and withdrew very quickly.
So what do you reckon?
Oi, leave the nice dog alone, yer ginger thug. I like staffies. There was one staying down the road this summer. Used to turn round and find it behind me in my garden, head on one side, looking all quizzical.
Come to think of it, I never did find out how it kept getting into the garden ... Or right into the house, on one memorable occasion ...
, in reply to message 24.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
"Oi, leave the nice dog alone, yer ginger thug. "
Come closer to me, fenelon, come closer and inspect my shining white, SHARP teeth and then gaze in wonder and awe at my recently sharpened CLAWS
and then care to repeat your opening sentence.
, in reply to message 24.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
A Staffie? I am a Staffordshire Minicat. He 'might' be alright, I s'pose.
I think we have to draw the line somewhere though. If we don't them hoomans might try to join in, and if they're not bearing food then I really see no purpose.
Come on dog. Show us what you can do. Dance, monkey-boy, dance. (Ivan will poke you again with the claws if it helps).
, in reply to message 26.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Dear Grebo, the creature is hideous-
and it does not speak Cat
and it slavers
and it smells
and it is most annoyingly cheerful
, in reply to message 27.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Two live next door to me. They are fools. I misread what was typed there. I thought it said boneheaded, not broadheaded.
Our own D*g is of the collie variety and has a particularly small brain.
I think we need to have a vote on this. Do we open our membership to dogs? I think we need the views of the good ladies and gentlecats. You know, some of my best friends are dogs, but cat's threads are for cats.
Just what you need, Thorks - a bit of good cheer - I mean it's not as if you're getting any younger, is it. Owwwwwwwwww .......
[Psst - Rocky - the kitchen's just over there - should be rich pickings. Best be quick, though - some of them haven't eaten in ... must be minutes now]
, in reply to message 26.
Posted by Nomadnomore - XNo - Quiz Queen (U3180380) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Rocky dog dances well, turns circles and everything.
He ALWAYS jumps at at hoomans. Maybe he could be a guard dog as well as a heat source. Is playing sometimes acceptable as well? Rocky likes playing.
Is playing sometimes acceptable as well? Rocky likes playing.Ìý
Rocky, you're out of luck. These cats just lie around all over the place all the time. Even if they're eating, they have an idea that someone should bring them food, rather than them going over to get it.
, in reply to message 30.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
GET THAT D*G OUT OF THE KITCHEN NEEEEEOOOWWWWWW
And then throw out all of the food, in case it has been contaminated by canine saliva, and disinfect everything. Yes, you, fenelon, you invited the creature into OUR kitchen. Get down on your hands and knees and lick that floor clean.
I, naturally, vote against the d*g.
, in reply to message 30.
Posted by IvanTigerCat (U14193606) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Why would we possibly need a guard dog? Have you not seen the way in which we keep humans and other creatures in hand, FFS (something to do with fruit salad I believe)?
Honestly. If you will insist on coming here, make yourself useful dog. Get us some grub.
Just, you know, I may have tried you earlier with the old claws on nose trick, but it is quite likely that the Brooklyn crowd will turn up shortly, and then you'll have a run for your money.
I've nothing against you personally, you know, but I have standards to maintain.
, in reply to message 32.
Posted by Once-a-Ginge (U1486077) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
What's a dog?
Louis and Ella
, in reply to message 32.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
And as for you, Bearhug, you can seek out further provisions for us.
Drive to Skye and bring back a tanker of Talisker.
Take this shotgun and only return with two deer (graloched) and five rabbits (skinned).
Then go to a dairy and collect fresh cream and milk.
And in case you find yourself with a little extra time tonight, a little nocturnal fishing should pass the time. We particularly like salmon and trout. Forget that they're off-season, I hear that bears are rather talented at fishing.
Well, I suppose they have to be good at something.
And for breakfast, we'll have a little fresh chicken. With a naan bread.
[Considers the haul which Rocky-dog is dragging into the night]
I doubt if you will, Thorkjell. I doubt it very much.
The Lady Philippa? - oh, she's out hunting - I'm quite safe from her for the moment.
, in reply to message 36.
Posted by IvanTigerCat (U14193606) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Davina and I would like oatcakes rather than naan breads Dog and human. We like bacon and cheese with them. And a bit of red sauce.
Looks like we may have found useful employ for the D-O-G. Don't imagine it is what he had in mind though.
Has he got much of a tail? Davina and her boys like nestling down in our dog's tail. That would be useful, but would require lying still.
, in reply to message 34.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Little Louis and Ella, a d*g is one of our enemies. They are stupid, sycophantic beasts who tend to hang around humans. In general, they are a nuisance.
, in reply to message 34.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Wednesday, 24th February 2010
Oh, Louis and Ella, my little innocents. They are daft four legged creatures, generally smaller than ponies and bigger than cats. Although some are smaller. The small ones seem to carry a chip on their shoulders.
Creatures of limited brain, imo, and to be treated with contempt. Stick with your cyber aunties and uncles here and you'll be reet.
, in reply to message 39.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Thursday, 25th February 2010
They are also terribly noisy. Has anycat ever encountered a silent d*g?
, in reply to message 40.
Posted by Sir Thorkjell Tushersson OBC (U14267573) on Friday, 26th February 2010
My friends, I shall be taking a sabbatical from the ceilidh until Wednesday. The Tushers are attempting to reach an island (fat chance) and despite the forecast, they continue to pack.
I shall occupy myself punishing the fat lady who comes in to feed me, groom me and up-date me on international events.
Supposedly. Actually, all she does is sit in the kitchen and smoke.
Which means that I shall have to seek another house on my estate to reside in until Mr Tusher returns. This has the added benefit of Panicking the fat lady who will attempt to find me by walking around calling (pointlessly) for me. Still, at least she'll burn off some calories.
, in reply to message 41.
Posted by Once-a-Ginge (U1486077) on Friday, 26th February 2010
We have an extra servant here today. He can do magic! He makes a bright spot of red appear on the floor and we can chase it. But then it disappeaars which is very puzzling.
Also does anyone know anything about people kittens? We've had one here for the last couple of days and she is quite hard work - is this normal? ONe minute she's stroking us or throwing our toys for us to play with, then all of a sudden it gets too rough and we have to go and hide - ois that normal? MInd you her food is very nice and she lets us have lots of it when the servants aren't looking.
Louis and Ella
, in reply to message 41.
Posted by theBeastfromtheEast (U14315293) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Thorkjell, if I might make a couple of suggestions to extract the maximum amusement value from the fat lady - how about tripping her up while rubbing pseudo affectionately around her legs (one of my favourites as it involves mental cruelty as well), Or being sick (loudly) behind a very heavy and heavy piece of furniture - do the Tushers have an enormous sofa or sideboard that would do ?
Be strong - you will be back before you know it, with the added satisfaction of having reduced the fat lady to a gibbering wreck.
Elvis
, in reply to message 42.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Well, my dears, I would be very wary of people kittens. They don't tend to have the best skills in handling felines. There is a photo of me as a young kitten myself, being dragged along by a human kitten.
My boys, who are no longer katterns, but act as they are, generally use the tactic of running off and hiding. Now, they have to be careful, because human kittens will make the excuse of needing to go to the human litter tray to go hunting upstairs for cats. The boys have lots of established hiding places and can make a good fast transition from room to room.
Thorks, my dear. Chin up, and look for every opportunity to get at the temp slave.
, in reply to message 42.
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Louis and Ella,
My dear young things. People kittens? Avoid, at all costs. We frisk them before they are allowed into the Finishing School.
If they misbehave, piss in their shoes, on their cardigans, bags/toys.
Valentine, (cat of few words, but wise one when they come).
PS Thorks, can you actually look thin and bedraggled for when your Idiots come back, without actually starving? I hold my breath to look thinner.
Are you allowing them the luexury of a boat?
Philippa
, in reply to message 46.
Posted by laReine-Astrid (U10636638) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Dear Thorkjell
I do hope your demanding needs will be cared for by this rather large hooman bean.
What is smoke, I wonder? We have never met with this.
Until soon
Astrid (Queen)
, in reply to message 46.
Posted by Lady Davina (U14200081) on Friday, 26th February 2010
I just worry that Thorks may have been reading the Corrie thread re boats.
Thorks, would you like some help in planning the timetable of taunting the stand-in servant?
Lying on the stairs, refusing to move, until the servant attempts to step over, in which case you move to the next step. I can't claim the fame for that one, it is one of Ivan's specialites.
, in reply to message 48.
Posted by Once-a-Ginge (U1486077) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Oooh! Thanks for the tip!
Louis and Ella
, in reply to message 47.
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Friday, 26th February 2010
Oh please Astrid, don't ask. The Idiot used to indulge in this useless activity and my poor dear departed Wally and I used to have to suffer the smell of it in our fur. Other Idiots used to come to our previous residence in Manhattan and drink vast quantities of liquid and then fall over. Useless, all of them.
Mistress Gr-Audrey
(Yes Mr Turner, I will be sure to pass on the message that Astrid's eyes are enchanting.)
PS Astrid dear, Mr Turner says it was ench.., very nice to see you again.
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