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Alcohol Concerns May 2010
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Message 1.Â
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Friday, 30th April 2010
Welcome to the May alcohol thread.
This is a place for those struggling or recovering from the addiction of alcohol, drugs or any compulsive behaviour that is or has damaged your life or that of other’s. It is a place where you can share experiences and perhaps find solace in the knowledge that you are amongst others who have or are dealing with these issues whether from personal use or as a spouse, friend or close family member of one who does.
As is said each month, take from this thread what you need and leave the rest.
To the many that post here please return and talk to us. You are what make this thread what it is. To the many that lurk, welcome, and if you wish and feel happy to please contribute.
Below are some links that may be useful to new comers or act as a point of reference to others be they regular visitors or just transient callers either from general interest or a genuine need to understand further the nature of these conditions and how others have and continue to tackled them
Welcome all
www.smartrecovery.co...
www.drinkaware.co.uk/
www.alcoholconcern.o...
www.alcoholandfamili...
servicesdirectory.al...
www.giveupdrinking.c...
www.aa.org/
www.al-anon.org/
Oz -
Message 2
Posted by Tir_Eoghain (U1541087) on Friday, 30th April 2010
Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:01 GMT, in reply to Oz in message 1
Hi Everyone!
°Õðù Eoghain here, recovering alcoholic.
Just bookmarking the May thread and posting some links to helpful sites.
Support Sites.
AA Worldwide
AA UK
Other Sites
°Õðù -
Message 3
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Friday, 30th April 2010
Whatever grounds could there have been for objecting to the OP? - I saw it and it was the standard beginning of the month post. I hope it gets reinstated soon. I'm tempted to email Taylor to that effect if it doesn't.
Fee -
Message 4
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Friday, 30th April 2010
I read it too ... and had begun collecting up the links to repost as working links, but by the time I came back Tir had done it.
-
Message 5
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Friday, 30th April 2010
Until it comes back here is the text of the last OP from Oz back in November
I came to this thread nearly two years ago and found the shared experiences of people like me or dealing with people like me a huge comfort . I think it is fair to say that this thread and the support I got both here and in RL were instrumental in my stopping drinking.
The thread is not designed to advise others but rather to share experiences of drinkers and their families. It is a stage for you to gain knowledge of this disease or simply a place to vent .
Many post here and even more lurk. However as is said each and every month; take what you need and leave the rest. Â
And here is the link to the April thread for those who like to be able to navigate back through the threads
Fee -
Message 6
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Friday, 30th April 2010
Whoops, sorry for mis-spelling you, Tayler. (I have sent an email asking about the hiding of the OP).
Fee -
Message 7
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Friday, 30th April 2010
And have had a reply saying that she will investigate it later today - am impressed by the speed of response.
Fee -
Message 8
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
OMG
What has happened?
I posted this before bed last night and have only just returned to add another post.
I have kept a copy of my OP and just re read it. I see nothing that breaks the rules and as was said it was a fairly standard opening.
Going to send the OP attachment to Tayler.
She is a decent sort I'm sure she will help.
Oz -
Message 9
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Well ever onward...........
My name is Oz and I am an alcoholic in recovery. In a few days time I hope to celebrate one years sobriety .
i am delighted and very happy that I have come on this journey. While it has been very tough and in some instances very painful I wouldn't swap a second. I have learned much about myself good and bad.
I have had a problem with my alcohol consumption for many years but I managed to convince myself that I was no different to anyone else. My denial kept me in a dark place for a very long time and by the end I would go to bed a hope that I wouldn't wake to the nightmare that was my life. It was black, scary and desperate towards the end.
When I did eventually admit that I was in trouble my next and ,in early sobriety , my biggest stumbling block was an inability to simply ask for help. So I blundered about lost and trying to control my compulsion with no support save my own.
Well my own will had kept me drinking for years so it wasn't a great surprise when it was an unmitigated failure.
I asked an got help from those here in particular Basia and from AA.
It was only the start and it was a shaky one but it gave me the time and support to start to address all the other aspects of my life so that in time I grew stronger and thankfully no longer relied on alcohol as a support to drown the struggle that is life.
Life can still be a bit pants from time to time but then that is the same for us all.
I deal with the carp of life with a clear head and do my best to move on and through it.
I no longer fear the mornings. No more hangovers, no more remorse,no more guilt but I awake each morning looking to the day ahead with some degree of excitement and not dread.
Oz -
Message 10
Posted by Redbookish (U1335018) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Sat, 01 May 2010 06:48 GMT, in reply to Oz
I'm a reader of this thread, learning a lot, lucky that problems with alcohol have not touched my life (as far as I know), but finding a lot of wisdom for life generally here.
And I'm rather shocked that Oz's OP has been catpeed. I know that we should take moddings on the chin ect ect ect, but this particular modding seems to be just downright petty. And yes, I know protesting about it is not a serene thing to do Is there an icon for childishly sticking out one's tongue at catpeers?
But thanks to everyone who posts here. -
Message 11
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
If I want to stick out my tongue I do a
:0p
Does that help? -
Message 12
Posted by Redbookish (U1335018) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Sat, 01 May 2010 07:10 GMT, in reply to westie westsussexbird in message 11
Kewl, westie. Thank you! -
Message 13
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
You're welcome.
It will be a great shame if the OP isn't sorted for this weekend as I would imagine (with extra time on their hands) anyone looking for a thread like this wont find this one.
That feels like a really odd sentence, but I can't think of a better way to say it. -
Message 14
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
In reply to westie westsussexbird in message 13
Well, they can continue to post on the old one but I agree that it is a pain. I am absolutely sure that there was nothing wrong with the OP - it was the sort of OP that has been posted on these threads dozens of times before - and it didn't even contain any words which could have offended even the thinnest skinned person. If there is anyone else looking for Tayler's email address in order to register unhappiness with what has happened it is taylerarchershost@googlemail.com
Fee -
Message 15
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
I have posted this on Doughy thread too.
The original post minus the links.
Make your own mind up peeps
Welcome to the May alcohol thread.
This is a place for those struggling or recovering from the addiction of alcohol, drugs or any compulsive behaviour that is or has damaged your life or that of other’s. It is a place where you can share experiences and perhaps find solace in the knowledge that you are amongst others who have or are dealing with these issues whether from personal use or as a spouse, friend or close family member of one who does.
As is said each month, take from this thread what you need and leave the rest.
To the many that post here please return and talk to us. You are what make this thread what it is. To the many that lurk, welcome, and if you wish and feel happy to please contribute.
Below are some links that may be useful to new comers or act as a point of reference to others be they regular visitors or just transient callers either from a general interest or a genuine need to understand further the nature of these conditions and how others have and continue to tackled them
Welcome all
Oz -
Message 16
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Well let's face it the worst that can happen is the catpeer slayer will have another go.
Come out from under your rock whoever you are?
Naw, you know what, don't bother..... -
Message 17
Posted by BootsNo7 (U8853924) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Morning all and thank you Oz for opening May and I am sure the post will be re-instated before too long.
I am Boots, a long-time but infrequent poster but avid reader, who struggles to cope with my only child's drinking and the fact that he only acknowledges that there is a problem when he has had a binge.
This thread has taught me so much thanks to the generous shares of alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike and I am slowly learning a better way of life for myself and learning to cope more easily with life's little tantrums (the latest being a tooth with an abscess).
I feel very sad when I see that posts have been catpeed because I have only ever received kindness and understanding from other posters and life is too short to waste on judgment of others. Ah well.
Boots -
Message 18
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Fee, on the bright side, it's possible a lot of people will stumble on this thread through having a peek to see if it's "interesting" because it has been modded!!!!!!!!
-
Message 19
Posted by BootsNo7 (U8853924) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Westie - well done on turning this into a positive!
Boots -
Message 20
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
It took me a while Boots, but I got there ... with help from Fee!
-
Message 21
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Yes, that occurred to me too - that if it had been catpeed by someone with some sort of negative response to the thread in general, it would rather have backfired.
Fee -
Message 22
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Hurrah -
Message 23
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Anyway, just realised that I've been distracted from posting anything to acknowledge the start of the new month.
I'm Fee and I originally started posting here because I was living with an alcohol-dependant husband (and had been doing so for at least a decade) - in common parlance, he would have been described as a functioning alcoholic - so functioning that when he ended up in what is usually referred to as rehab almost no-one other than myself, his teenage children and his mother knew of his problems (and she had never actually experienced them - although she had seen her brother die of alcohol induced cirrhosis of the liver in his early fifties). He has now been sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous for three years come the end of this month. I always feel the need to say at the start of each month that you don't need to be thinking of a tramp on a park bench to be thinking about someone whose drinking is causing havoc with their life and the lives of others. I also feel the monthly need to say that he is a militant atheist and does not find that a problem in AA. Take what you like and leave the rest is very powerful.
I also feel the need to say every month that I wish I had come across the Al Anon mantra of the 3 Cs years earlier - I did not cause his drinking (whatever he said about his domestic circumstances being the cause of it), I could not control it (so pointless to stock take the beer and throw away the watered bottles) and I could not cure it (only he could take the necessary steps to address it).
We do not live together any more - we moved a long way apart during the alcohol years and he had no appetite to try to reclose the gap. I have recently discovered that my great-grandmother was almost certainly an alcoholic and that my grandmother had an alcohol and family breakdown affected childhood and teenage years and I think a lot of patterns of insecurity have come down the generations and help to explain why I married my husband and why things took the course they did. These days when asked who my Al Anon qualifiers are, I say my exish husband and my great-grandmother.
Have a good month everyone. I really must now go and do other things. Please shout if you see me in here again before this evening. If I have an addiction problem, it would be this place - but it's just about under control at the moment.
Fee -
Message 24
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Thank you Fee for pointing out that alcoholics are not all shambling drunks lying comatose on a bench.
Like Fee's husband I was a functioning alcoholic with a very good job and was being groomed for further promotion. Indeed had I wished a job would have been created for me in Australia when we moved out here.
I held my life together with a lot of guile and planning. It took a great deal of energy to maintain my working life and drinking life and the balance was always tilted to the latter.
To many that knew me and a great many that worked with me my admission to having an alcohol problem was a great surprise. However I would have been found out sooner or later and perhaps that was another subconscious reason for my tackling my drinking.
In my AA rooms there are teachers,plumbers, doctors,nurses, engineers,shop keepers and businessmen. All , like me , kept their work lives afloat and most would not have been thought of as an alcoholic.
FWIW
I attended a gym frequently, I never smoked, I didn't do drugs and my diet was good. I was even a school governor.
I know for a fact that in Parliament House in Canberra there are daily AA meetings held and I would expect the same in the UK and in the Senate in US. I know that there are professional AA session up and running in most fields.
Compulsions respects no class, creed or social boundaries. Everyone is vulnerable. -
Message 25
Posted by Kris massblues (U14058894) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Hi,
I'm Kris and i'm a l'il too tired to say much more at the mo...
However,
Oz (great last post by the way if not a little terrifying from the perspective of someone watching someone delude his world about his sobriety).
Anyway, the cat-peeing:
You didn't Cause it (perfectly good OP - and yay, ironic that this is the first time i can remember that C!)
You can't Control it (there will always be trolls with nothing better to do alas)
You can't Cure it (Ditto: labotomy?)
But well done you (and all who have posted thus far)for shrugging it off and seeing in May with a touch of the serenity prayer.
Just bookmarking for now.
Have a lovely day all (Fee....are your lights on? Go do life, outta here now)
kris -
Message 26
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
OMG
Yet another hole
This is a joke isn't it? -
Message 27
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
I saw your post in response to mine Oz (I know, kris - I was idly scrolling through whilst on the phone listening to someone talking at length about stuff) - it was a perfectly reasonable description of functioning alcoholism. I thought as I read it that it might well lead to some interesting discussion. Maybe there is a catpeer who does not like such descriptions - or maybe it is someone who does not like you. In any event, it says far more about that person than about anything else but it's a pain and I wish they'd stop it. I hope Tayler can work out what's going on soon.
Off to get a life, kris - garden party miles away - think I'll need boots and a brolly. And then I need to come back and do something about the research I'm meant to be doing and have been ignoring for weeks, if not months.
I hope it gets sorted soon - and I hope that post comes back because it was interesting.
Fee -
Message 28
Posted by Tattyhead (U2777247) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Hi. I am married to an alcoholic who has resisted all help and is now very ill. Have found this board a great source of support, even though have not always agreed with other posters. But, hey, it would be a very boring world if we all just agreed with each other all the time!
Have come back from week long conference in Bournemouth and slightly coonfused about missing posts, threads with no title, etc - but never mind!
Had a brilliant time - took son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. Husband answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if he didn't!!) and didn't sound too bad until Thursday evening. He was complaining of severe upper abdominal pain and nausea. We came home on Friday and he really is very ill. His skin is now tinged yellow so I have a dread that he is now on the final straight. He has a GP appointment 1st thing Tues but there won't be anything they will be able to do.
Any lurking Alcoholics out there - there is no miracle cure. This is what it comes to in the end. Alcoholics get very ill and eventually die. And it isn't pleasant. -
Message 29
Posted by Claribel (U2264645) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Hello all, just bookmarking. There is a lot of weird catpeeing going on at the moment. Not much to say on the alcohol front (for those who don't 'know' me, I have a good friend who has problems with alcohol) - not because there's nothing happening; there is, lots of same old same old, but I'm finding it hard to summon up the energy to go back over old ground. I am reading as avidly as ever, though, and send best wishes to everyone on this thread, whatever stage they're at.
Tattyhead, particularly thoughts for you.
Claribel -
Message 30
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Tatty, it's lovely to read of your son being proud and being able to make the most of being away with you. You have a difficult time ahead of you. :0)
-
Message 31
Posted by PepperTree But No Petard (U13945752) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
It's good that things here are back to normal. Hope it stays that way. It was my e-mail wot dun it.
Just bookmarking really. -
Message 32
Posted by Kris massblues (U14058894) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Yay! you're back Oz,
well done Tayler.
Still too tired to post but i'm sure twill be worth the waiting.
hahahaha -
Message 33
Posted by Tattyhead (U2777247) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Just re-posting this now things are back to normal with the thread:
Hi. I am married to an alcoholic who has resisted all help and is now very ill. Have found this board a great source of support, even though have not always agreed with other posters. But, hey, it would be a very boring world if we all just agreed with each other all the time!
Have come back from week long conference in Bournemouth and slightly confused about missing posts, threads with no title, etc - but never mind!
Had a brilliant time - took son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. Husband answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if he didn't!!) and didn't sound too bad until Thursday evening. He was complaining of severe upper abdominal pain and nausea. We came home on Friday and he really is very ill. His skin is now tinged yellow so I have a dread that he is now on the final strait. He has a GP appointment 1st thing Tues but there won't be anything they will be able to do.
Any lurking Alcoholics out there - there is no miracle cure. This is what it comes to in the end. Alcoholics get very ill and eventually die. It's heartbreaking and it isn't pleasant. -
Message 34
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Thank God common sense prevailed. Thank you Tayler.
I'm going to leave it there for now for fear of saying what I think of the catpee-er.
Basia, 8 yrs 9 months sobriety through AA and very glad about it. -
Message 35
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Now there's something to celebrate. That'll be some posh fizzy drink from M&S for me then, toasting you from the UK. Hang on, that means there are two anniversaries this month. Excellent.
Thanks for opening up Oz, despite the temporary glitch.
I'm off to London tomorrow, where I'll be attending an ML wedding, an occasion that fills me with joy and some sadness - my date was supposed to be Greenjewel. Nice to be going to a wedding where bride and groom know I don't drink and I will feel no pressure, even if any is applied by people who don't know me.
I'm also looking forward to seeing as many MLers from this thread that time will allow.
Good to see the usual suspects in here, and I hope nay lurking newcomers step forward and say hi.
Basia, restored to some sanity today because I let go of something. Amazing how that works. -
Message 36
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Tatty, just read your post. I am really glad you and your son had a good time. Really pleased for you that you were able to do this despite everything. And of course I'm sorry to hear about the rest, but not surprised.
Basia -
Message 37
Posted by MV Whitby May Rose (U6862284) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Have a lovely time Basia
I used to have a terrible relationship with alcohol but 8 years ago things got out of hand and I stopped drinking. It wouldn't have occured to me to go to a group or to counselling and it still wouldn't but like everything I feel it is horses for courses and whatever works is what counts. I feel like a very different person and have a fairly different life but it is right for me and my family
I grew up in a non drinking family as my dad signed the pledge when he was training to be a priest. It felt right to kick against that. It wasnt -
Message 38
Posted by MV Whitby May Rose (U6862284) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Actually had a bit of thought provoking news today re someone who has died of alcohol related problems. There but for the grace and all that.
-
Message 39
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
In reply to whitbyrose in message 38
Glad to see the posts are back .
Tatty, I'm so glad you and your son had a good time. Claribel, I know exactly that feeling of being too weary of it even to want to say it all again.
Fee -
Message 40
Posted by TeaLady (U9077092) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Glad to see the posts are back. Thanks Oz for opening up this month. I'm sorry you had to endure this hassle, but you have done so with good humour and serenity. Really glad that people will be able to find the thread easily again, as I think it's a wonderful thread - a place where I have learnt so much from others' experiences, been able to share my own, and received so much support, and gained some true friends.
I began posting on here when I was struggling with my drink problem - I tried all sorts of things to cut down, moderate, stop completely. Nothing worked for very long. The longest period of abstinence I managed was 5 weeks, and then I thought that meant that I didn't really have a drink problem, and could drink 'normally' again - not that I ever really drank normally in the first place!
With a lot of encouragement from people on this thread, I finally made it to my first AA meeting, where I really wanted to find a load of stereotypical drunks - like the park-bench tramp stereotype Fee mentioned. Well, instead I found people like me, people not at all like me, people from all walks of like, many of them professionals. And what I couldn't get away from in that first meeting, was that whoever they where and however different they were from me, we had one major thing in common - we had lost control over alcohol. I got a glimpse of people who had felt as desperate, terrified, alone, trapped as I did, and now they were well, more at ease with themselves, happy - they were even laughing! And I wanted what they had.
Trying to stop on my own didn't work for me, but as whitbyrose said, it's horses for courses.
Personally, I needed, and need, those meetings, the support of the people there and of my sponsor, the understanding of people who really understand me, and the inspiration I get from listening to people who have been sober for a long time, and are living happy lives.
I can scarcely believe that a year ago, I was still in the dark last weeks of my drinking. My life today is so different, I am so full of hope for the future, and the people I love do not have to live with the effects of my active alcoholism.
Later this month, I too hope to celebrate one year of sobriety. One year, one day at a time. I didn't believe it could happen, but it is happening, and for that I am more grateful than I can express.
Wishing everyone a good month, although I know for some that is going to be very hard, and my thoughts are with anyone suffering from the effects of problem drinking.
TL x -
Message 41
Posted by karmickris (U14445387) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Tl,
That was such a moving and inspirational post, thank you. i have been on these boards for almost a year myself and have watched you sruggle and blossom and it has been a pleasure to share, in some small way, yours and Oz' journey.
Your sponsors must be so proud of you both, and you them for their patience and their support.
Have been struggling to post on here today but still have nothing. Perhaps i never will
If not i will simply lurk and watch, and try to find a reconnection to this thread - with it's fissure and fusion of conflated identities -each and every poster sharing a common yet unique experience of alcohol blighted lives.
Now go to bed TL you are supposed to be having early nights!
kris x -
Message 42
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Good morning all
Hurrah my OP has been reinstated.
Thank you Tayler.
At the risk of sounding like a continuity announcer "Normal Service has been resumed"
I have a very full day ahead of me.
So can't dally here too long .
Just wanted to say hi to the regs that have posted while I slept and the support they give this thread.
Bon Voyage to Bash and so pleased that your are regaining your own brand of normal service.
Ant to simply reiterate my original post of welcome to the Alcohol thread.
This place does a lot for me and I hope it will help others be they newbies or existing travelers .
Oz -
Message 43
Posted by TeaLady (U9077092) on Saturday, 1st May 2010
Hi Kris, thanks. Good to 'see' you.
- this IS an early night!
Night all xx -
Message 44
Posted by PepperTree But No Petard (U13945752) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
I too am glad that it's all been sorted. I don't think there can be any logical reason for what happened and it's a salutary reminder that the whole world can lurk. Goodwill is sometimes in short supply. -
Message 45
Posted by Oz (U6102444) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Goodwill is sometimes in short supply.
That is sadly true.
Good night both Kris and TL.
I am outta here.
See you all tomorrow
Good days to all
Oz -
Message 46
Posted by karmickris (U14445387) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Have a great festival hun
k x -
Message 47
Posted by karmickris (U14445387) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Hi,
haven't done an opening statement or whatever this month so:
my name is kris and i have a son who is a problem drinker and i have a preblem with his drinking.
I said yesterday that i have struggled to post on this thread. i knew why that was but couldn't really put my finger on it if that makes sense.
yesterday i awoke to an email from someone who used to share my son's life.
She informed me that he had been smoking crack and that i was the last to know. Or words to that effect.
I've been having difficulty dealing with the fact that crack could kill him so much quicker than alcohol ever could. and I am having difficulty dealing with the fact that others knew and didn't tell me.
I tried to sublimate any negative feelings by posting on these boards and 'having fun' until the small hours. and to a degree that worked well. however i didn't sleep well and the boards, well...and so this was the last place on earth i wanted to post on, but here i am eh.
I guess the questions i have going on in my head are these:
Did I want to know my son has ben smoking crack cocaine? yes, yes. really? good god no, absolutely not.
Is it any of my business? No, he is an adult but hell he is also my son.
Should i have been told anyway. my heart says yes, and i am deeply hurt and feel foolish that i was not.
But my head says no. It is not my business to know what someone else knows, no divine right.
It makes me feel physically sick that he is consuming so much alcohol and now this.
But it's my problem because i have made it my problem isn't it. except that i don't have a switch off button and so i have no choice but to sit with this info, and the concomitent feelings, and try to process them away.
funny, i remember now why i came to post on here. I have read on here about 'copping a resentment' and about resentment per se, but have never really understood it.
I mean, of course i know what it means and is but have no real experience of it. maybe for the odd 10 minutes but then i can let it go - so easily. I learned young not to let negative feelings such as this pollute my life.
But this hurts, and is festering. and the only one it will damage is myself, i know that.
kris -
Message 48
Posted by Flightless Anachronistic Bird (U6437464) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Goodwill is sometimes in short supply.Â
I just wanted to respond to that. I'm usually a lurker on this thread. I don't often post on here because I don't have the words or experience, but I do want to just say that I wish the people who post on here well. I suspect that there may be a small army of lurkers who feel the same. A single catpeeer is very visible. My guess is that there is oodles of goodwill that you just don't see. Best wishes and good luck to you all.
F(A)B x -
Message 49
Posted by Tattyhead (U2777247) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Kris, I wish I had words to comfort you but there are none. Of course this affects you deeply - he is your son and you cannot turn off the love you have for a child or stop worrying about him. You were going to find out about this sometime and it was always going to hurt.
I don't know what you can do, if anything, except continue loving him and letting him know should he ever question it.
Knowing all the other stuff you have been through I wish I could do something to make it better but I can't. I can only be here, like so many others on this board, to care and to "listen" whenever you need us.
TH xxx -
Message 50
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Sunday, 2nd May 2010
Kris, I'm sorry. Presumably Nic is quite likely to read what you have written? Is that ok with you?
Could I be nosey and ask how old he is?
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