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14/12/10 MFC/Healthy Eating Club
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Message 1.Â
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Monday, 13th December 2010
Welcome one and all. We are a group of cyber chums who offer wonderful online support to anyone who wants to eat more healthily, and possibly lose weight, or maintain a loss already achieved. As we don't want to put anyone off, our one rule is not to disclose real weights or measurements, one person's goal may be another's starting point.
All our welcome here, including our lurking friends, please come out of the woodwork and say hello.
You may be thinking that this is not the best time of year for Healthy Eating - I would disagree, this is a time to think what you are eating, and perhaps to try one of our homespun philosophies Eat Nice Eat Small. There is so much delicious festive food around, do take time to enjoy it, enjoy every mouthful you take, just remember it is up to us to decide when we want to stop. Nobody will tell us off for leaving some on our plates. I know I have practised my ingratiating smile and saying "It was so good, but I just can't eat another mouthful at the moment"
We have three other threads to help us on our way - one is Katy's wonderful recipe book which can be found here
Another thread is GEm's super cyber gym, you know it makes sense to exercise! Take a look here
We take it in turns to start a new thread each week, please sign up and take the chance to air your own philosophy of healthy eating, The rota is looking a bit bare at the moment - do jump in and write your name or you might get me doing it again and again, and you know you don't want that!
So my thought for the week is to really enjoy every mouthful of food I take, and to stop when I have had enough.
Let it be a week when we all make as many good choices as we can
F-P -
Message 2
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Monday, 13th December 2010
Just to say I didn't manage to do everything I preach today! However that was before I wrote the opener!
I had a weary morning my friend G, whose son committed suicide last year, was on the phone for a long time this morning. He had played the part of Father Christmas over the weekend and I think the two days of HoHoHo was just too much for him. Thus when I went to my festive lunch I was tired and didn't think so clearly (but I did enjoy my salmon with shrimps!) I did eat some sweets and two mince pies.
Tomorrow is another day!
F-P -
Message 3
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Tuesday, 14th December 2010
Oh, Fire-Pig, you have my sympathies. I am trying to support a friend whose son died unexpectedly in October and it's so difficult. My own son is making decisions I think are unwise, but there is little I can do to persuade him otherwise. Christmas can be a very painful time at times...
But it's up to us how we react to those things. We may not be able to influence what happens to us, but we can influence how we react. I have learned a lot recently about attitudes and how easy it is to have negative and wrong attitudes and what damage these do. I am trying to let my attitudes be changed even more than my eating habits! -
Message 4
Posted by puzzler76 (U3733897) on Tuesday, 14th December 2010
I'm a pound and a quarter up this week but my body isn't half messing about with the old 'monthly' stuff. It's been 9 weeks (but I'm not pregnant, I checked!) so I'm putting some of the gain down to that, and some down to the various Ghristmas meals and nibble fests that have gone on.
Actually, now that I come to think of it, there have been two large nibble fests and a 3 course meal since last Tuesday, so the 1.25lb gain isn't too bad after all.
Yesterday I managed to get my pedometer to register over 10000 steps for the first time ever - I think it only counts the steps on the side it is positioned! I walked a long way, anyway...
KOKO everyone, here's to a good week. -
Message 5
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Tuesday, 14th December 2010
Lost - you are completely right, I should have taken more control of myself yesterday in how I reacted. There was more than just the phone call, but that was the major thing.
This morning I have started well, I have enjoyed my muesli with tinned breakfast apricots* and fromage frais. I tried to savour the taste of the separate ingredients.
Puzzler - I haven't yet found out whether my pedometer can register that many steps! Wonder woman you!
KOKO one and all
F-P
*At what stage is it decided that these ones are going to be called breakfast apricots? Is there segregation on the trees? Are the breakfast ones superior to others unallocated to specific meals? Can you think too much about your food! -
Message 6
Posted by maria_sedgegrass (U2267184) on Tuesday, 14th December 2010
haha f-p about the breakfast apricots! I think I know the ones you mean and I have bought them before now, together with the tinned "breakfast compote". It's clearly a clever bit of marketing because I do indeed eat them at breakfast time. To be fair, though, they are different from a tin of apricot halves - lightly spiced and more like a dried apricot that has been cooked.
Have just been wading through an online supermarket order. Haven't done one for ages and a new computer meant that I had lost my login details so had to start from scratch wandering up and down the "aisles". This marks the beginning of the festive food onslaught. We had a gorgeous lunch out with friends on saturday, tomorrow I have a committee meeting where we've all been asked to bring "festive nibbles", Saturday is a family meet up for a lunch, next monday and tuesday our youngest daughter and her family will be visiting so I'll be assembling the rest of the daughters and their families for a celebration meal - hence the online food order.
So far, I've managed to avoid excess food consumption and am feeling pleased with another half pound off this week. My plan is to limit the damage as much as possible while I am on my own, to enjoy meals with other people without going absolutely mad and to accept that I may be three pounds heavier when I weigh in again at the beginning of 2011. -
Message 7
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Tuesday, 14th December 2010
Well done, Maria, on the loss.
A difficult day today at work, so I'm trying not to 'react' to that by eating. Not easy. I have a pile of ironing to tackle, which will hopefully keep my hands usefully occupied out of the fridge! -
Message 8
Posted by orange pekoe (U9563764) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Hi everyone. Lovely opener, F-P, thanks.
It certainly is a hard time of year for those who have lost loved ones in any circumstances; gosh F-P, your friend doing the Santa thing, I can see why he needed a long chat yesterday. I know you have close-hand experience yourself, and I'm sure your listening ear was very helpful.
Maria, you are doing really well at the moment! Nibbles-wise, you could take grapes or even 'crunchies' - chopped carrots, peppers, cucumber etc. At this time of year the stodge overload can get to people and they are glad to see something fresh on the table!
I haven't bought or eaten any Dairy Milk since fessing up last week. I've just had some dark choc with candied orange peel in it, which was very festive and delicious, but only a few squares, so much better.
Did have some lebkuchen yesterday. They are mr pekoe's big favourite, and we shared some with some delicious Christmas Coffee (more marketing, a la breakfast apricots, but truly yummeroo *and* on special offer, what's not to like?!).
I'm slowly increasing my healthier habits again, rather than a dramatic shift.
Sending healing vibes to Birdy and her Ker-nee. -
Message 9
Posted by anagramladysin (U14258840) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Knees up, Mother Birdy?
Hope you have both feet up and are being waited on hand and foot.
Also, no pain, masses of get-well-soon flowers and some totally gorgeous magically-calorie-free chocolates to nibble at. A phone at hand for friendly chats whenever you feel like it; a snuggly duvet or blanket; sweet pot-pourri and massage oil that smells of heaven. Someone you love asking gently and regularly "can I get you anything?"
An unputdownable book. An Araucaria crossword. Chilled water. Cards to open when the postman comes. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
And don't reach for the crutch until you have had enough of all that.
xx ana -
Message 10
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Ana, I think tomorrow's the day for Birdy. I love your wish for her, I think we all join in.
She knows that she will have the Mustardland comfort blanket to wrap around her, it will snuggle up and never leave any area exposed to cold draughts!
F-P -
Message 11
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Oh :0))) I'm just snuggling down to sleep as we have set the alarm for 5 a.m. as I have to be at the hospital at 8.00 in the morning! Cripes! Thanks so much for your good wishes and I'll do my best to be thoroughly spoiled.
Take care of yourselves too .... eat healthy, eat small :0)))
ps has anyone seen Laura around? I hope she is ok. -
Message 12
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Laura has posted in Peet's today, I haven't seen her here lately.
F-P -
Message 13
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Wednesday, 15th December 2010
Thanks Fire Pig ... I hope she's ok. I miss her. I use my mobile a lot and can't keep an eye on too many forums ... so haven't been to Peets.
Night :0) -
Message 14
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Thursday, 16th December 2010
Mustardland Cottage Hospital will be ready to receive Birdy for her recuperation.
We can all pop in from time to time - let's hope Matron doesn't enforce only 2 visitors at a time too strictly. Perhaps we can distract her with all those calorific goodies that we won't be eating ourselves ; ) -
Message 15
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Thursday, 16th December 2010
Thanks Sparkers :0)) Safely home with a knee that is free of "cartilage fragments" .... what a relief. Everyone at the hospital was lovely and Annie Lennox sang me to sleep with "Sweet Dreams are made of This"!
A banana for supper last night, today a lovely tuna sandwich and a banana and yog and honey and a boiled egg and a couple of slices of my yummy wholemeal/pumpkin and sunflower seed toast. I don't recommend surgery for weight loss, but it should help!
Hopefully after I see the surgeon again towards the end of January he will give me the all clear to resume normal activities.
The nurses were groaning at all the boxes of biscuits and chocolates that the long stay patients were giving them ...... I've just realised there were no flowers in the ward ... I wonder if they are frowned on these days.
Cheers chums :0) -
Message 16
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Thursday, 16th December 2010
Good to see you, now what can I get you to make you more comfortable? Would you like some magazines to read?
I don't think they do like flowers in wards nowadays, which is a pity, but now you are home you can have as many as you like!
F-P -
Message 17
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Thursday, 16th December 2010
:0) I'm having a romp around Mustardland and haven't looked through the newspapers yet. We were offered a paper newspaper at the hospital but they seem such grubby dirty things these days ... and they smell. Much prefer the papers on the internet.
I sat doing my crossword puzzle book getting everyone to help me when I got stuck. It was a good way of chatting with people there. -
Message 18
Posted by maria_sedgegrass (U2267184) on Friday, 17th December 2010
birdy, you are a much nicer woman than I am! I can't bear sharing a crossword.
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Message 19
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Friday, 17th December 2010
But Maria, I was well and truly stuck without their help. I have an electronic dictionary but didn't take it in with me as I know things go walkabout in hospitals. It would have been a bit embarrassing to sit there staring at the page as it was the easy peasy Telegraph crossword book!!
-
Message 20
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Friday, 17th December 2010
We often photocopy the easy Independent crossword and oH ad I do it separately. It is surprising how often we get stuck with the same clues! We each have our special subjects and know to ask for help with those!
Tonight the Christmas Dinner we were going to has been cancelled "for obvious reasons". We don't yet know whether we will be asked to pay something or not. It does mean that I won't have all that temptation, and will be able to listen to both TA and the Woman's Hour serial in the evening repeat, so not all bad that it has been cancelled!
We currently have about 4" of snow here, but in the mountains it is bad, one friend about 15 miles from us has measured it as 19" in her garden!
F-P -
Message 21
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Friday, 17th December 2010
We began sharing doing crossword puzzles when Mr Birdy stopped work so we had something to chat about together over our morning coffee.
Sorry your evening has been cancelled ... but probably a sensible decision! -
Message 22
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Friday, 17th December 2010
Another maintain this week. I wish I could view that positively, but given all that is ahead (including a week away with little exercise and probably too much food after Christmas), I feel somewhat disconsolate. Mind you, that's as much to do with other things as the eating lark: circumstances really do affect so much with me...
Hope you're recovering well, Birdy. My Dad and I do crosswords together. I'm always surprised at how much he remembers of obscure topics! -
Message 23
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Friday, 17th December 2010
I'm doing well thanks Lost ... remove the huge bandage tomorrow evening which will allow the knee to move and then I start doing exercises ... apart from wiggling my toes which is about all I've done today apart from going to the loo with my crutches!
If you have been basically sensible this week then I think you will get a pleasant surprise ..... don't be disconsolate. You're doing well. :0)) -
Message 24
Posted by GuzziNut (U6364582) on Saturday, 18th December 2010
chin up Lost, a maintain is better than a gain
sure the week away will be OK, dont approach a break with bad feelings, breaks are good
hope the knee is progressing well Birdy, I think you've been to the place where Bloke has been for ankle and knee examinations, & he cant praise 'em highly enough -
Message 25
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Saturday, 18th December 2010
We are snowed in today, so an unexpected day off and food to plan! Thank goodness for freezers!
Lost, I agree with Guzzi, enjoy your festive food, just try not to eat too much, savour the taste! Listen to Auntie Fire-Pig who is a very good preacher, but does not always follow her own advice!
My GP was very happy with me yesterday, she even weighed me and asked me my secret for losing weight - somehow I couldn't mention the real truth of walks with cyber chums, meercats and a great big roving eye! I could say thinking about what to eat, concentrating on healthy food rather than actual weight loss, and eat small eat nice.
F-P -
Message 26
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Saturday, 18th December 2010
Thanks Guzzi .... I went to the place that says it is the patient's choice! Absolutely brilliant.
I agree .... always enjoy your food even if you know it isn't the best choice you could have made ... otherwise it's a double whammy! -
Message 27
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
My feelings about the break away are mixed because of strained family circumstances and fears about travelling in the snow and ice more than about exercise and food, although these are also factors. However, I am trying to be more positive in general because I've got rather bogged down in life, so to speak, recently. The problem I have is always trying to 'fix' situations and sometimes those situations are beyond our fixing...
Trying to eat more or less normally. I am out for my Dad's 70th birthday meal on Friday which will be a lavish affair, but it's a lavish occasion! -
Message 28
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
Lost, I am the mother of 2 sons who have given us far more heartache since they graduated than in all the previous years. I have learnt that they have to live their own lives, and make their own mistakes. It is not easy, but it does seem to get easier as I realise it is NOT my problem any more, it is theirs. We have always made it clear that we give them unconditional love, and there is always a place for them in our hearts and our home*. We now have one living at home with no sign of moving on, but we know where he is, we know he is alive and healthy and well fed - there were weeks that we did not know any of those things when he was in the depths of depression. I don't want to return to that place where I lived through a living h*ll of not knowing. The other son is still in a state of flux over his marriage (none of us could understand what he saw in her at the time) and is in the Highlands. Sometimes it really hurts when friends go on and on about their successful children and their grandchildren, I just have to smile and remember the good times. I don't really know why I have written so much, but want you to know that it is possible to live through the 'wrong' choices our children make. Life is getting better for us again, just give your son a hug and tell him you love him, and you always will no mater what.
I am currently waiting for OH to get up and make the decision about driving today, so don't know what will happen here today.
Take care everyone
F-P
*I honestly don't know what my position about unconditional love would be if either of the piglets turned to crime - I can't see it happening, but it must be a Mother's nightmare. -
Message 29
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
Just a group hug for Lost and Fire Pig.
-
Message 30
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
Thanks Birdy.
Decision made for today, our journey is not essential - on Elfin Safety grounds (YP was to be an Elf in a Santa scenario! ) I made provision on Friday for the possibility of not getting in to work until Monday, but I really do have to make the effort tomorrow.
Now I am going to use the extra time to make the first Christmas/New Year cards of the season, just for Mother, Sis and EP, haven't felt up to it earlier in the season. Can't decide whether just one for EP or a kiddies' one for the GC, they are due to go to their maternal grandparents on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Take care and KOKO one and all
F-P -
Message 31
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
A good decision in my view.
:0)) -
Message 32
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Sunday, 19th December 2010
When will I ever learn? I decided to try a new technique on the cards today. It was far more fiddly than I expected, and I haven't finished any yet. BUT I didn't resort to choccy, just a sachet of low cal Hot Chocolate!
Not a very energetic day, but good on the food front, lovely home made chicken and veg soup at lunchtime, and Chilli con carne from the freezer for supper.
Now to bed, in the hope we can get out tomorrow and to work.
KOKO one and all
F-P -
Message 33
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Thank you, Fire-Pig, for your words of wisdom about the heartaches of parenting. I had thought it would get easier... that as children grew into adults, they would make wiser choices! To be honest, it feels like those rebellious years are just starting... and yet it's not as simple as that, more finding your own feet, I suppose, and me having to accept that the decisions made are not the ones I would make. I am having to re-learn so many things and am discovering things in myself that I don't like. My 'need' to control things and 'fix' things, for example, just won't solve these problems.
Letting go is so difficult. My son is home for Christmas and I am struggling in so many ways. I miss him so much when he's away and I don't know what's going on. When he's at home, I get so easily frustrated and irritable. There seems to be no middle ground!!
I am trying to learn more about unconditional love and acceptance and finding that it's harder than I ever imagined...!! -
Message 34
Posted by Katy Tulip (U2239809) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Just a group hug for Lost and Fire Pig.Â
[huddles into group]
Koko, everyone.
Katy -
Message 35
Posted by Fire-Pig - proud to wave the protest banner (U12231213) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Lost - did anyone ever tell us that parenting would be easy? I still have Mama ringing me up and acting the stern parent at times! When I had had a D&C operation she was aghast at how quickly I went back to work, I had a real earful then!
Ignore me or scroll past as you prefer, but I think I would try to say something on the lines of "I don't approve of your choice. It pains me even to think of it or discuss it, for everyone's peace of mind over Christmas I would prefer if it weren't discussed or referred to at all. I would like a family Christmas to show how much we all love each other, in spite of choices being made" It would probably be better in a chat rather than one edict laying down the line. May I wish you a peaceful festive season.
Katy have a hug of your own (((HUG))) you seem to do a terrific job of parenting in spite of your own health problems.
No more snow here overnight, it is just in the south of Wales at the moment. I'm about to dress up and see if the car is still under that mound of snow!
KOKO one and all
F-P -
Message 36
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
I think we've made progress in how we are discussing things this weekend, Fire-Pig, and I certainly am making a big effort not to be as negative and critical as I have been. I don't want 'artificial' happiness, though, if you see what I mean....
A busy week ahead, despite not being at work. I am hoping to get on with planning and sorting files out etc. as well as try to restore some kind of order to the house. We are getting a new (to us) suite this week too, so I am organising the pick-up of our old one and trying to work out why it seemed a good idea to do all this days before Christmas!!
Had a good swim this morning and have decided that since we are away next week, there is no point buying lots of food that will not get eaten. This is like a mini-revelation to me (but is doubtless simply common sense to everyone else here!) I have also decided that, rather than fretting about going away and eating lots, it will probably not be that hard to eat sensibly away, as the usual pile of nibbles that tempt me at Christmas simply won't be there. Ha! So I can go away, walk lots, and eat nice meals with nothing in between! -
Message 37
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Monday, 20th December 2010
One of my lot has made a decision that I don't approve of too - and I will do my best to button it!
Not easy. -
Message 38
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Just a note of general agreement with what has been said about parenting. I think it is a job that requires the thread that binds us together to be really really thin and almost invisible so the 'child' has to take responsibility for the outcome of their decisions and so learn how to take responsibility. With regard to our DD2 someone once said "If you don't give her responsibility she'll never take it" and I've tried to remember that.
It would have been almost impossible for us all to live together while she was doing her A levels and so with our help and support she lived away from home and went to VIth form away from home. This, I felt, made her accept responsibility for the way she was behaving and gradually gradually from that point on she realised that if she walks through our front door that we will respect her and give her space so long as she respects us and gives us space. How she behaves away from us is her choice. My mantra to our girls has always been to try and get through life with as few regrets as possible.
We've always been a talking family but I don't ask questions that I guess I wont like the answer to. It's her business and her responsibility. We have had a BIG conversation (I've done this with both my girls) where we've gone right through their lives with them telling them how we came to decisions we made and the thinking behind them and how we have always tried to give them freedom and encouraged them in their endeavours. We have always tried to remember that we are not supposed to be their best friends (that role is fulfilled by others) but we are their parents... often being a parent can be a frightening business as you let them try out their wings.
I'm waffling now ... but I'll post it anyhow. -
Message 39
Posted by Auntie Prue (U14585893) on Monday, 20th December 2010
.... yeah but your waffling makes a lot more sense that much on this MB - this thread excepted of course, Birdy!
-
Message 40
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
You definitely can't be a best friend /and/ a parent all the time, can you?!
-
Message 41
Posted by Katy Tulip (U2239809) on Monday, 20th December 2010
You definitely can't be a best friend /and/ a parent all the time, can you?!Â
No.
But you can make an ace policewoman when you get going, apparently...
[wry grin] Katy -
Message 42
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Are you the ace policewoman, then, Katy?! Because I don't feel I'm ace at anything right now. Deep breaths. Get on with work. Forget the frustration. Think about another cold salad lunch and wonder why I bother.
-
Message 43
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Monday, 20th December 2010
:0))
What has amused us is that DD2 (who is training to be a teacher) had concerns that she wouldn't be able to keep a class in order and we laughed and said "Give them one of your 'looks' ..... they'll quake at the knees"! I reminded her that she had tried to rule the roost here and could argue that black is white with such conviction that she would have me doubting myself!
How can a child with such strength of character grow into an adult that doubts her own ability! -
Message 44
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Lost, imagine these on your desk ... they're my favourites .... we're all cheering you on.
-
Message 45
Posted by Katy Tulip (U2239809) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Yep. Ace policewoman or Totally Crool and Unreasonable Mother at times, that's me. Though to be fair on the offshoots, at other times I "own" (whatever that means in theirspeak, I *think* it's a Runescape-derived compliment, it's muttered in flattering tones.)
Aw. Multiple Hugs for Lost.
Think about another cold salad lunch and wonder why I bother.Â
Brrrrrr, cold salad...
I've just had some very warming soup for lunch. I raided my stores (too cold to go out), and made it with about 10 different diced vegetables (hurrah for my supermarket deepfreeze section), which I added to some stock (from a cube, natch), then whizzed when simmered enough, and then I decided to bung in a tin of chopped tomatoes with herbs and red peppers for good measure. With a splosh of Tabasco for extra heat. I feel all toasty & warm after half a litre of that with some crusty wholemeal bread.
Want some? Because you're wurf it....
Katy -
Message 46
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Hot soup is tomorrow's treat. Actually, the salad wasn't bad. At least I could feel virtuous eating it.
Had some real sunflowers given last week (they have since died, alas) and it was nice to view them!
I know all about people arguing black is white so convincingly that you doubt yourself. That's the state I'm frequently in! The only trouble as I see it is that if beloved son ever gets round to admitting I'm right, that means he's in even bigger trouble than now... So I can't win either way: if I'm proved right, he'll be in trouble; if I'm proved wrong, then I'll never hear the last of it! -
Message 47
Posted by GuzziNut (U6364582) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Lost, please feel free to ignore me, I dont have kids
but I do have a mother who still thinks I am 14 and has over the years questioned most of the things I have done WRT work, where I live, relationships and is never backward in coming forward when she thinks its wrong in her books
Its very wearing and has resulted in an us having uneasy relationship at best, she disapproves of me, whilst I think "what do you know, you've done very little with your life, apart from bagging a man who for some unknown reason sticks with you and producing kidbro and I"
let him get on with what he thinks is right, please?
Thus far I seem to be OK, I have a good job, roof over my head, a decent Bloke (tho I was taken for a walk by her and told why seeing him was a Bad Idea when we got together... I was over 30 at the time. I didnt know whether to laugh, cry or thump her), a great set of pals, hobbies I enjoy and an outlook that is usually on the cheerful side
I do on occasions envy pals who have a relaxed relationship with their mothers. "oh yes, we went out for a pizza" I can manage an afternoon but I am drained afterwards. Go out for a pizza? hell would freeze over first
more waffle but I will post and be d then go log some rock cores -
Message 48
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Monday, 20th December 2010
Lost ..... somehow it needs to stop being a feeling that one of you is going to be proved right and one wrong ... you are both probably rowing in the same direction. :0)
-
Message 49
Posted by LostInML (U13646691) on Monday, 20th December 2010
I do love this thread... you all have such good advice and we talk about so many things, not just food. You're all great!
The different perspectives really help me. I get so caught up in my own point of view at times that I just can't get out of it; when you give me your comments, it's like having other shafts of light to illuminate a situation. That really helps. It stops being black and white (or murky grey) and I actually get to see colours. Thanks a lot.
I am well aware that I risk alienating my son, which is the last thing I want, and also that it's not really a case of 'right' or 'wrong' which makes such language unhelpful, but sometimes it's like being in a forest where you can't see anything but outlines of trees. Then you make comments and I feel I can see the sunlight again! Thank you! -
Message 50
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Monday, 20th December 2010
...and dear Lost I hope you realise you are not on your own with this. Try to pull back a little and give yourself the space you need.
:0))))
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