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'Care Ö÷²¥´óÐã Kid'

• Message 1. 

  Posted by Lady Macbeϯh - not without mustard (U550479) on Thursday, 31st March 2011

  Although this refers to a TV programme, it doesn't belong in The Bull.
  
  Watching Neil Morrisssey's documentary about his experiences of being in care and how it has shaped his life, I've found lots of resonances in my own. I wasn't in care as a child, though I was, briefly, in foster care, but I was fairly firmly rejected by my parents at a very early age - hence the resonances.
  
  It occurs to me that I am probably not the only MLer with a less than typical childhood for someone who is now well stricken in years.

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• Message 2

  , in reply to message 1.

  Posted by Bette (U2222559) on Thursday, 31st March 2011

  Hmm, well, my mother died when I was an infant. There are some things that I still think that need to be sorted out (esp. my relationship with my own daughter). I have had a quite a lot of love given in life, so I don't feel deprived, as such - just that I suspect that some things are just 'lacking' in my life,or unaccessable.

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• Message 3

  , in reply to message 2.

  Posted by Cheshire Cat (U14533219) on Monday, 4th April 2011

  I didn't watch this but I could apply for the T-shirt. Three sets of foster parents, sandwiched around mother and step-father. In a children's home once at a year old for about 18 months and again age 15 whilst waiting for fostering again. Mother had enduring mental health condition and step-father died of a heart attack when I was 15.
  Another that doesn't feel deprived either - I know some people that have had a more usual upbringing with plenty of 'baggage' than I carry around with me, which amounts to a small clutch bag compared to that of a rucksack.

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• Message 4

  , in reply to message 3.

  Posted by Threeblack drapedwellsofmyown (U5254306) on Monday, 4th April 2011

  Ummmm
  
  
  Outwardly loving caringnparents
  
  Beaten black and blue at the merest hint of transgression of unkown rules by me
  
  Too scared to tell anyone about it so I just tried to escape at any chance resulting in the best walked dog in the country
  
  Grandmas doing the best they could to look after me but home was a scary place which I tried to escape from as much as I could
  
  

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• Message 5

  , in reply to message 4.

  Posted by Dame_Celia_ Molestrangler (U14257909) on Tuesday, 5th April 2011

  Ah, Threewells,
  
  Rather like me. Very much wanted as a small child. But parents couldn't cope with a child that developed its own opinions. If I didn't agree with them 100%, they believed I was defying them. Apparently, according to my mother, my spots were the evil inside me trying to get out.
  
  And I'd be told off whenever they hurt their hands hitting me. "Look what you've done to me." Which is when slippers came in handy. I did tell one teacher once and he wrote a letter to my parents, which only made things worse. "How dare you talk to other people about this."
  
  Oh, the shouting matches we have had since I moved away. But things are better now. I realise that they were basically two people with very limited experience of the world and child care. They were - mentally - undeveloped themselves. OK.. so they had some experience of the war (dad born in 1935 and mum in 1939), but that did not make them well-developed, well-rounded people.
  
  One boy in our street said once: "Every time I pass your house, I hear shouting."
  
  I sometimes wonder if that is why I ended up alone. Never saw a working relationship. Never knew what to work towards.
  
  I took myself away in my books and the LPs I had. I'd sing along for ages and read for hours and hours. I *lived* in my books. That was where I was happiest. And reading still gives me the greatest pleasure today. I can't cope with being with people for too long.

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