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August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 1.Â
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Monday, 1st August 2011
Welcome to the August edition of the long-running Alcohol Concerns thread. If your problem isn't alcohol, please don't go away, there is help. If the problem is that of a family member, friend or colleague, you're also in the right place, bearing in mind that you cannot control other people but you can control how you react to them.
I would be dead or at the very least destitute had I not walked into the rooms of AA; it truly saved my life. I have a wonderful sponsor, a wonderful sponsee and my sobriety, which today is 10 years old. Hurrah!
Ten years ago I didn't know my arse from my elbow and today I have a healthy career, I am in remission from leukemia, I am training to run the NYC marathon, and I am vice chair of a cat rescue non-profit organisation, with a weekend job at my veterinarian's. I am responsible for rescuing over a dozen cats off the street and into homes just this year.
Tonight I have a fund raising meetiing with my board of directors, then I'm speaking at my home group for my anniversary and then I'm going to a tango club, as I want to learn. Life is not perfect, I have hardship, but I also have the tools to deal, and if I think I don't, it's because I'm not looking hard enough.
Life can get better, and if it gets hard again while it's getting better, at least we've acquired coping skills along the way.
I love this thread, and count many who contribute to it as friends. Thank you.
I can't believe it's ten years.
Basia
AA for getting your car fixed
AlAnon for friends and families of people with substance abuse problems
AlAteen for young alcoholics
Narcotics Anonymous
Cocaine Anonymous
NHS
Drink Aware
Alcohol Concern
Give Up Drinking
Alcohol and Families
Adfam
Smart Recovery
Core Trust
Sober Companion
Debtors Anonymous
Overeaters Anonymous
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Shopaholics Anonymous
Link to last month's thread
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Message 2
Posted by La Bez (U14670366) on Monday, 1st August 2011
Many congratulations Basia
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Message 3
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Monday, 1st August 2011
Thanks Basia and congratulations.
I wish I'd come across something like these threads fifteen or so years ago. I would have understood far more about my husband and his relationship with alcohol - and would not have been so hindered by my stereotypical conceptions about alcoholics. I did not think he could be since although the gin bottle seemed to go down in what I thought was an alarming way and he had lost his licence for a year (but he was only a tiny bit over the limit and as everyone said, might happen to any of them etc etc and so on ...) because he didn't drink every day, didn't drink in the morning, was pursuing a successful career and successfully running marathons.
On the other hand, I am very grateful that I did find it - and he has reason to be grateful as well since I don't think he would ever have found his way to AA, which has played a considerable part in the fact that he is now sober, if it had not been for what I learned about it here so that I was able to persuade him that it is not a religious cult but something which might have something to offer a militant atheist.
What I have learned from Al Anon and from posters here has also helped me with the changes in my life since he did get sober - as one of the bits of the Al Anon literature says, sobriety may not bring the outcomes you wish for - and I currently have a life which is different in almost every way from the life Iwas leading five years ago. On the whole, I have a very great deal to be grateful for - not least that I've learned the pointlessness of regret and resentment.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 4
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Monday, 1st August 2011
Just bumping up above July where I've just put a signpost for those who like me tend to come into TVH through their Discussions list and also to let people who are new to the threads and want to read back through some of the old threads do so (although there's a break in the chain a couple of years ago),
Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 5
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Nice article - hope the link works properlyLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 6
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
No it doesn't - it's on page 12 - Alex Boyt
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Message 7
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Nice article - hope the link works properly Yes, indeed. I will be passing that link on, thanks.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 8
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
He can be a bit of a gobby old sod, but I thought that the article was very 'sweet' and lacking in ego.....
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Message 9
Posted by doughy hood (U2352167) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Congratulations Basia on your 10 and thanks for opening the August thread.
My name is Doughy Hood and I am an alcoholic who has been completely sober for nearly 5 years. Like many I come here for support and comfort when I am down, and try to repay a little when I can.
A life of sobriety has its ups and downs and sometimes it can be a bed of roses (I need to accept that roses often have thorns). One thing I can say is that it not nearly as frightening as I thought it would be, and even though there are downs at least I can think of the solutions to problems with a clear(er) head. ; - )
Well done to all who help me by treading the same path, and for those just starting - keep on keeping on, it really is worth it.
Doughy.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 10
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Basia
Thanks for opening up and congratulations. I do love your posts, they are truly inspirational, I get a lot from them.
I think I mentioned last month, I have an AA buddy who is hospital at present, having had growth removed from her bowel. After a sticky few days, she now is doing well. She has been an inspiration (has about the same length of sobriety as myself) and is a shining example of how the AA programme works and of how members rally round to support in times of need.
It makes me truly grateful I eventually found the humility to walk through the doors of AA. I know it is not for everyone, but know that for my AA buddy and me it has been a life saver.
Hope everyone is well
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 11
Posted by Orpheus (U14408875) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
And I always find your posts truly inspirational Yulz, thank you.
NicLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 12
Posted by Cheshire Cat (U14533219) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Lovely opening, Baz. It just shows you what can be achieved in a second life (not the virual world thingy).
After having a reasonable few days away with OH, who reduced his whisky intake to a third of a bottle - the beer intake stayed the same and the wine intake rose though (see - that's what I find myself doing, monitoring, monitoring all the blooming time) he was reasonably cheerful and declared that he was feeling quite fit. Back home for 48 hours and he was hardly able to communicate with me this evening when I came home from work. He did sit through Panorama last night (it's rare that he even watches TV with me), which was about alcohol abuse in the young. Of course they cited some extreme stories so I could practically hear the denial cogs whirling declaring 'that's not me'.
I'm feeling quite low this evening and wondering how much longer his body will take this abuse - I just want it all to stop.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 13
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Hi Cheshire cat- just wondering whether your husband said anything about the programme at all?
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Message 14
Posted by Ellie May (U2222618) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Congratulations, Basharella, and great opening post. I’m Ellie May and I’m eight and a half years sober.
I made a phone call tonight I was somewhat dreading, to a distantish family member who I don’t know all that well. She has just been discharged from hospital after being admitted in May with advanced liver failure and weighing four and a half stone. I didn’t expect her to survive.
She says she knows that if she drinks again, she’ll die, and she says she wants to take every last bit of help available, so I talked to her about what has worked for me (so AA, mainly) and I’ve offered to see if I can find someone who can give her a lift to a meeting if she wants to go to one. (She lives 200 miles away from me so I can’t do that myself.) I did wonder if I’m trying to force it on her – attraction not promotion and all that. Hey but how much can it hurt? She can always stop going.
Anyway, I’m glad I spoke to her, and I hope she can find a way through, and it’s made me grateful for my recovery. And it’s reminded me again how all this works (for me anyway) – passing it on, helping others, sharing experiences.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 15
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
> (see - that's what I find myself doing, monitoring, monitoring all the blooming time)<
Oh, I remember that mental stock-taking.
What is in the fridge now and what was in the fridge yesterday? Where on the label was the top of the gin yesterday and where is it now? Does that screwtop bottle look or feel as though the top has been unscrewed? Does the wine look as though it has been topped up with water? What is in his rucksack? What is behind that chair? Are there empty bottles in the wardrobe? On top of the wardrobe? In the sock-drawer? Is that bottle of water really a bottle of water? And so on and so on.
It started because I thought I was imagining things or hoped I was and felt I needed something firm to talk to him about - and then over the years became a habit - I suppose I felt that if I knew for sure what was going on I could somehow control it - I don't really know what I thought , thinking back - it was all madness, really.
Not that I'm suggesting you are like I was Cheshire - but your comment just brought it all back. Very wearing for you. I'm sorry.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 16
Posted by Cheshire Cat (U14533219) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
No, Giddy, not a word - mind you he was under the influence when he watched it - he might not even remember watching it.
Fee - I suppose if I can count myself lucky (and there are many times when I do) it's because I do know where OH keeps his drinks, which is in the kitchen and nowhere else - he knows he doesn't have to hide it from me. He does 'hide' it from himself though - he only pours small measures at a time and takes the cap off the bottle ever so quietly so as not to rouse my attention - which is a nonsense and games play, as I never make any comment - it is his learned behaviour and was present when I first met him.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 17
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
>Fee - I suppose if I can count myself lucky (and there are many times when I do) it's because I do know where OH keeps his drinks, which is in the kitchen and nowhere else - he knows he doesn't have to hide it from me<
I think my stock-taking started way before I'd really admitted to myself that there was a problem - I think I couldn't quite believe that there was stealthy drinking going on and though/hoped I must be imagining it. In later years, after he had agreed there was a problem and the story was that he was dealing with it and was not drinking, I suppose it became a sort of need at least to have control of the facts even if I couldn't control the situation - all pretty crazy, anyway, in hindsight.
Ellie May, I hope your relative manages to turn things round. That must have been very difficult for you in many ways.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 18
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Tuesday, 2nd August 2011
Sorry, that was me more or less repeating myself - this tracker pad keeps deleting what I've written for no apparent reason and then I get confused about what I've posted and what I haven't.
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Message 19
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
Hi All
Just a catch up. My friend who is hospital is now doing really well and I had intended to go to see her this afternoon. However, Agency called and offered me a 2/3 week post (back to my last 3 day job, in fact) so I accepted. Funny, how things change. I had my day all planned out - gym in the morning, hospital visiting in afternoon - and now here I am wasting my time on here, but getting paid for it. It would drive my nuts long term, but can be done in the short term. I'm hoping too that this is a step in my recovery, used to have things all planned out to maximise private drinking time, now, I hope, I'm much more flexible. So my plans had to change for today - so what? Apart from visiting my friend in hospital, I was doing nothing that important. I've texted my friend and she's just pleased I've got some work to tide me over for a couple of weeks.
Planning to go to Edinburgh for a long weekend in a couple of weeks and even if I'm working I've managed to fit that in also. It's Festival time again and looking forwad to the buzz of Edinburgh and taking a chance on the shows we manage to see. We were lucky last year and managed to catch 4 shows that were all good. Anyway, it will be a nice break, without the hassle of trying to work out how to sneak bottles with me and to get drinks on the sly. I've just realised by thinking out that, how much more peaceful my life is now, without the continual planning about how to get alcohol and how to consume it without anyone knowing - ha ha! It is part of the serenity that is spoken about I guess and because I've written this down, I realise that I have gained a bit of serenity and it is great. Another positive to add to my gratitude list. It really is the small things that mount up.
I find it really interesting to read the posts from those of you who are living with alocholics as, ofcourse, I was too busy drinking to see how my behaviour impacted on those around me, or indeed at the height of my drinking I honestly wouldn 't have cared how they were feeling. It was all about me - my feelings, resentments, disappointments etc. I hope I have gained some insight and that my actions and behaviour now take others into consideration - it's been a shock to realise 'it's not all about me' and how others were suffering also as a result of my behaivour. It's not easy facing up to these thoughts, but hopefully in the last 2 years at least, I've managed to help make their lives easier. It must be very difficult for them to even begin hoping their alcoholic has changed and may never drink again. It is also interesting, how the family dynamics may have to change being around a sober alcoholic. I'm sure most family members welcome their alocholic putting down the drink, but may not be prepared for the changes many of us have to make to protect our sobriety.
Oh dear me, don 't know where all that came from - may be I need a meeting! Anyway, good wishes all
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 20
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
Thqnks for the supportive words. I love what you said Yul and EM about how this programme works, esp the bit about passing it on.I agree.
EM, that was a brave move, and I understand why you did it.If you don't have anything to lose in making the call, and believing it won't do any good isn't really in my lexicon of good reasons for not giving it a shot anyway, so I get it. One never knows. I've heard enough accounts of one remark sticking, even if it took years.
[Mrs Peignoir mode ON]
Mon night was lovely. Had a meeting/meal with my board, at a restaurant next to my meeting, so I could watch some of my fellow alchies arriving, which was a bit weird, but in a good way.
The meeting was so much fun, quite rowdy at times in a good way because people were just being funny and there was a lot of laughing.Some old friends showed up and I didn't have a chance to stress about what I was going to say so it turned out ok.
Afterwards, I went to my first tango club in NYC with an AA friend and it was mesmerising. I'd previously only been to one in Buenos Aires, the real deal, so I had no expeftations, and I think after my marathon in Nov, I'm going to take classes.
And Giddy, thanks for the 10 anniversary presnt of that article in the Drug Times. You're right, he is a gobby Richard, and his idiotic interpretation of some of the programme made me laugh. I will return to it, because it's good stuff.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 21
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
>his idiotic interpretation of some of the programme made me laugh. I will return to it, because it's good stuff<
I nearly did return to it but thought perhaps I'd better not because of stirring up hornets nests (and also I was having trouble reading it on the netbook I was using last night) - but quite a lot of what he said struck a chord with me (from an Al Anon point of view rather than an AA one admittedly). As I said elsethread recently I can read it/hear it all in a way that I am quite comfortable with but I often feel it is a pity that I have to - and that there are probably others who are less inclined to get past taking it all literally and for whom it proves a complete turn-off. But if it were changed it probably would not work as well for some of the people it currently works very well for so its probably swings and roundabouts. Not that I'm sitting on a fence or anything of course.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 22
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
Basia
How I envy you - tango classes. OH and me went to a tango taster class and loved it and fully intended to carry on. However, fate intervened and I broke my ankle shortly thereafter, so tango has now to be forgotten about, for me at least.
Anyway, you go girl, and enjoy.
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 23
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
Yul, post # 19 is just wonderful. I would love to hear you tell your story in a meeting.
I nearly did return to it but thought perhaps I'd better not because of stirring up hornets nests (and also I was having trouble reading it on the netbook I was using last night)Â
Ditto on both; nearly went blind trying to read it until I discovered the second zoom. Nice graphics. It is perhaps more debating thread material, but oh I feel a visceral need to comment.
there are probably others who are less inclined to get past taking it all literally and for whom it proves a complete turn-offÂ
Yes, and for that I am sorry (I don't mean I'm apologising on behalf of AA, obv) but really, it just exasperates me. You can choose to nit pick the minutae of the language, misinterpret it (according to me and many others) or you can take what you want and leave the rest. I like the aspic quality, but I'm also not opposed to a modern reworking. Can't get exercised enough about it. If someone who can't get sober continues to drink because of the way AA is worded, or they say that is the reason they are drinking, they can always try some other programme in Thailand or The Barn Programme. Would you like to take the floor here Giddy?
I do a good line in passive aggressive when I set my mind to it don't I Kipps?Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 24
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
>I like the aspic quality, but I'm also not opposed to a modern reworking.<
I think it's difficult - always very risky to start tinkering with something that works well (babies and bath water etc) - and I suspect that many people find it more supportive to have a reified higher power rather than abstract notions of time or fate or whatever - and if you take it as a whole the changing the things you can and having the wisdom to know the difference ought to stop the madness of people who think their higher power will sort out the day to day trivia of their lives without them lifting a finger (I have heard that sort of thing). On the other hand, I think I'd like to see the agnostic version of the 12 steps offered as an alternative (not as a replacement) as standard practice.
I'd go to the debating thread but I don't think I've got anything else to say about it really.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 25
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
>Can't get exercised enough about it. If someone who can't get sober continues to drink because of the way AA is worded, or they say that is the reason they are drinking, they can always try some other programme in Thailand or The Barn Programme. Would you like to take the floor here Giddy?<
Did you call? I can't read it at the mo cos only have my phone but I dunno if I thought he meant that- I think people who want to keep drinking will keep drinking whatever, and I know he does too - I think people who didn't want to stop would say the door to the meeting was interfering with their aura or something if they didnt want to go in - I just think he means not everybody is going to relate to some of the ideas and language and not 'feel at home' I suppose is the best way I can express it. Imagine if you yourself didn't feel at home at your meetings or didn't feel like you were with your own? But I thought the piece was about him saying ' but anyway, stuff that, I need to stop being such a nit picking arse and go anyway for my own good' Do I need to read it again?Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 26
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
>Do I need to read it again?<
Possibly. If it would let me I'd cut and paste some of the sentences which suggest to me that that isn't quite what he thinks. I'll try to see what I can more or less quote.
Not quite quoting him absolutely accurately but he says that in his not so humble opinion the focus should move away from God and onto not being alone and giving and receiving support. In the 21st century the focus on miracles and divine intervention leaves much potential mutual aid and support out of the reach of many and the notion of abstinence is extreme and can be punishing [he talks about people who are reluctant to take pain killers etc] ... "many drugs workers struggle to point clients in the direction of a programme which requires you to humbly ask God to forgive your shortcomings" - he goes on to say that his view is not representative as many with his level of misgiving will simply have failed to engage.
He says he negotiates the God problem by using time - time is a great healer, all things are possible in time and, as he says he has learned as he moves on in his recovery, 90 per cent of what he worries about at any given time will not matter at all in 48 hours.
He says that for those who are able to "embrace or negotiate the strange outmoded language .... 12 step recovery works as well if not better than anything" and he refers to the value of peer support and mutual aid - and says that the programme teaches a habit of self-reflection and provides tools to help worry less, find hope for the future, feel better about the past and communicate in a carthartic way.
So I would read him as saying that it is a programme which works and he wishes that it were presented in a way which even more people would feel comfortable with. I have considerable sympathy with that view - except that, as I say, it might mean it would work better for people who think as I do - but it might not work as well for others who don't (and he does recognise that as well).Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 27
Posted by The Giddy Kipper (U10918464) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
Hmmn I've read it again and yes it does sound a bit more confrontational than I felt it did when I first read it - so just wanted to say that I posted it for the ' I have issues with it but it is still useful to me' point of view, not to antagonise at all. I agree with a lot of what he says so maybe it is interesting what my first thoughts were.....dunno
Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 28
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
>' I have issues with it but it is still useful to me' point of view,<
Yes, that was the main thing I took away from it - and I agree with it - and I think he (and I) would probably say that it has been more than just "useful". After all, something which can give you the tools to stop worrying and to come to terms with the negative aspects of the past and give you hope for the future is doing something pretty fundamental - and, in the case of AA, of course, it's on top of the even more fundamental thing of helping someone to stop drinking.
It probably didn't strike you as confrontational because it was with the grain of your thinking - it didn't really to me on my first quick skim read. I saw more scope for hackle-raising when I read it the second time - perhaps because I started to hear echoes from past discussions in here. But I agree that it is basically a positive article.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 29
Posted by Orpheus (U14408875) on Wednesday, 3rd August 2011
10 years Bash?
Inspirational.
Sounds as you had a good day to celebrate. Very cool. X
No idea what article yer all on about? Love the way the pages turn on the link though, simple things amuse me it's true.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 30
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Thursday, 4th August 2011
Hi
I've now managed to read the article and it does raise some interesting questions. I was prepared to find the God aspect of the programme difficult and was perhaps preparing to use it as to why it wouldn't work for me. However, it was something Basia said about 'taking what you want out of the programme and leaving the rest' (or something like that) that really helped me and also a desperation to change how I was living, feeling etc. So with that need uppermost in my mind, I found I was willing to give it a go, and it is working for me. I don't know why, as I'm not particularly religious and to be honest find I don't dwell too much on that part of the programme. I do find, however, I am much more considered in my thoughts and actions as to how they may affect others etc. I suppose what I am really saying is that for me, it was a recognition that I needed to change how I was living. I had tried rehab and attending some other groups, but AA just struck a chord.
I don't believe I've become evengelical about it, I would just advise anyone to give it a go with an open mind. Maybe it won 't be for them and that's OK, other methods work and that's good also. I'm just glad I've found something that works for me.
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 31
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Thursday, 4th August 2011
>However, it was something Basia said about 'taking what you want out of the programme and leaving the rest' (or something like that) that really helped me and also a desperation to change how I was living, feeling etc<
Yul, I think that was (and is) very largely my ex-husband's experience as well (and mine with Al Anon). I sent him Giddy's link and, as I rather expected, he said that he agreed with much of the article but that he thought it depended a lot on the tone of the meetings and that the groups he goes to are not as "hard-line" (his word, not mine) as that described in the article - so that it is almost never an issue for him.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 32
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Friday, 5th August 2011
Fee
Yes, I think I agree with your ex-husband. It does depend a lot on the tone of the meetings and the different emphasis therein. I think when starting out some people may get too bogged down in the God aspect and this can be discouraging. Some people I know have a 'higher power' and this can take many different forms. In the beginning form me, it was the group I attended itself and that sustained me for many a month. To be honest, it still does. I really enjoy my meetings and most of the people, especially in my smaller Thursday night meeting, have become very special to me. We actually were discussing the 'God issue' at last night's meeting and one participant made what was, to me a very vaid point. He was saying that for him it was more a spiritual message and that he tried to go about his daily business in a way which brought him peace and serenity. I rather liked that. What I am really trying to say, that in the early days of my sobriety I put the God side of the programme to one side, concentrated on getting through every 24 hours without a drink and left it at that. That was the important stuff for me, just keeping it simple. My brain had been so focussed on getting drink, hiding drink and then drinking it, that it was a huge relief to give all that angst up and I suppose a little peace and serentity kicked in quite quickly.
What I'm basically saying was that I was so desperateLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 33
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Friday, 5th August 2011
Oops got side-tracked - think what I was trying to say was that I was so desperate, I was willing to try anyting and the important words there - being willing.
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 34
Posted by yulzerzo (U10301639) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Hi all
nothing to report really, just bookmarking so this thread gets pushed up a bit, otherwise it will get lost.
Looking forward to weekend in Edinburgh at the Festival (hope weather improves). It will be my 2nd year there, without seeing it all through an alocholic haze, so I'm really looking forward to it and remembering what I've seen!
Hope everyone is well.
YulzerzoLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 35
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Hi Yul - have a good weekend. One year I must get up to Edinburgh.
I think one of the reasons why it tends to be quieter in here these days is that one-time posters have dispersed a bit - some no longer post in ML at all but I see occasionally on FB - and others tend to post much more on other threads now. One of the latter is Tattyhead and I thought those of you who don't ever lurk on either the Stress Support or the Candle thread might like to know that she has posted on the Stress Support thread this evening that her husband has been given what she says used to be described as the last rites and has asked for people to keep her in their thoughts tonight.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 36
Posted by Orpheus (U14408875) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
More great posts from Yul.
Thanks for the heads up about Tatty, Fee. It's hard..to think this kind of thing through.
Tatty and her son will have their lives back, but will have lost someone who was such an integral part of their lives until the Bd drink became an integral part of his.
Such/a/waste.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 37
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Oh God. I'm saddened to read this. Thanks for letting us know Fee.
Thinking of you and your son Tatty.
BasiaLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 38
Posted by carrick-bend (U2288869) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Thinking of you and your son as well, Tatty.
Hope you all have peace now.
C-B xLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 39
Posted by La Bez (U14670366) on Wednesday, 10th August 2011
Yes, you are in my thoughts and prayers Tatty.
xxLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 40
Posted by doughy hood (U2352167) on Thursday, 11th August 2011
Likewise from me, Tatty. I hope that you will be able to find some peace and comfort from your many friends here and elsewhere.
Doughy.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 41
Posted by BasiainBrooklyn (U505001) on Friday, 12th August 2011
What a sad day.
I just don't understand how some make it and others don't, and may those who didn't rest in peace.
I've so much more to say, but I will leave it at the fact that you are very much in my thoughts Tatty, as is your whole family.
BasiaLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 42
Posted by Tattyhead (U2777247) on Friday, 12th August 2011
Thank you, Basia and thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I have posted elsethread that my husband died peacefully in his sleep at 5 o'clock this morning. I was by his side. The last 5 years have been a nightmare but he was the love of my life whom I loved for over 30 years, having been married for 39 years, 7 months.
Thank you again.
Love, Tatty xxxLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 43
Posted by Fee (U3534148) on Friday, 12th August 2011
I've just seen your post elsethread Tatty and replied there about how sorry I am about it all. You didn't mention how many years you had been together on the other thread.
I would think that this would bring up all sorts of things for many of the people who post and lurk on this thread. I know it does for me. I can't sort them out in my head at the moment.
I hope you have someone to support you as you support the rest of your family now.
FeeLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 44
Posted by carrick-bend (U2288869) on Friday, 12th August 2011
So glad it was peaceful. There will be sad times, Tatty, but don't feel guilty about looking forward to a new life for you and your son.
The good memories will gradually come to the fore.
C-B xLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 45
Posted by Westsussexbird or Birdy aka Westie (U6316532) on Friday, 12th August 2011
I'm glad Tatty popped in to tell you all that Stephen has died.
She has a good network of friends and has managed to keep a hold on her life while caring for Stephen when he was past caring for himself. A very special lady.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 46
Posted by Mabel Bagshawe (U2222589) on Friday, 12th August 2011
And my thoughts are with Tatty and her son too - I well know the mixed emotions that come with a loss in these circumstances
Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 47
Posted by Ellie May (U2222618) on Friday, 12th August 2011
I’m thinking of you too, Tatty. May your husband rest in peace – and may you and your children find some peace as well, and eventually make sense of what might seem so senseless now.
Fee – yes, it’s stirred up all kinds of emotions here.Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 48
Posted by La Bez (U14670366) on Friday, 12th August 2011
You are in my thoughts and prayers Tatty. I'm glad the end was peaceful.
Jane
xxLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 49
Posted by Claribel (U2264645) on Friday, 12th August 2011
Tatty, I am very sad to hear this. Thinking of you and your family.
ClaribelLink to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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Message 50
Posted by Retired-Rural-Person (U8479978) on Friday, 12th August 2011
Thinking of Tatty, and others on this thread who may be very much affected by the news
Link to this forum: August 2011 Alcohol Concerns (including other addictions)
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