听 User Rating 
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bikini Line: best-selling button-basher Dead Or Alive gets a masturbatory makeover for Generation Xbox in Cory Yuen's martial arts actioner. As you'd expect from the breast-obsessed beat 'em up, the emphasis is on beauty, brawn and gravity-defying boobs. It's "hello boys" time as Devon Aoki, Jaime Pressly and Holly Valance grab their Wonderbras to star as fighters lured to the DOA tournament run by shadowy villain Dr Donovan (Eric Roberts). Not even Great Danes deliver this much drool.
You know what to expect with Paul WS Anderson onboard as producer. Love him or loathe him, the fanboy behind Mortal Kombat and the Resident Evil series has single-handedly changed videogame movies' fortunes (financial, not critical) forever. Dead Or Alive follows his usual dumbed down, buffed up formula - plugging into fans' pleasure ports with eye-candy fantasy and riffing on the games' Princess Kasumi mythology.
"AN FHM PHOTO SHOOT TURNED VIOLENT"
Naturally, the girls can't quite match the impossible cup sizes of their pixelated counterparts, so Yuen (The Transporter) adds padding. Wire-fu fighting proves impressive and there's plenty of titillation: a face off between Christie (Valance) and Helena (Sarah Carter) on a rain-swept tropical beach could be an FHM photo shoot turned violent. The fighting isn't half as explicit, samurai sword battles coming without a drizzle of claret. By the time the inevitable homage to DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball turns up, the motivation's clear. DOA wants its (male) audience to leave the auditorium with their fingers twitching, desperate to get home and play with their joysticks.
DOA: Dead Or Alive is released in UK cinemas on Friday 15th September 2006.
