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A bizarre brew of Brit-grit, magic realism and religious allegory, The Lives Of The Saints could hardly be called unoriginal. But it could be called under-written, over-indulgent and daft. At the centre of this muddled exploration of need, greed and spirituality is a wide-eyed abandoned waif (Sam MacLintock) with the ability to make wishes come true. An intriguing place to start, but photographer Rankin and his co-director Chris Cottam simply don't have the storytelling chops to follow through. You'll wish you hadn't bothered.

Our tale begins with a courier named Roadrunner (Daon Bruni) dashing down a North London street - ironic, given the subsequent lack of forward momentum. What's more, there are few characters here either sympathetic or sane. Our fleet-footed friend is about the only one who fits both categories, but has little role to play after discovering the mysterious tyke in a park. The mute, unwashed miracle-maker winds up in the care of local wideboy Othello (David Leon), who converts the boy's prophetic whimperings into piles of dosh at the racetrack.

"NO SALVATION TO BE FOUND"

Naturally, everyone wants a piece of this outrageous fortune, not least Othello's hulking crime-boss stepdad Mr Karva (James Cosmo). Fond of torture by blowtorch and chucking cats into the deep-fat fryer, this flamboyant ogre adds colour to the film (ditto Marc Warren's tranny priest) but can't stop it speeding off the rails. There's certainly no salvation to be found in the finale, a mix of gangster gunplay and Catholic imagery so overcooked, it looks like someone sending up Martin Scorsese.

The Lives Of The Saints is released in UK cinemas on Friday 26th January 2007.