Category: World Service
Date: 31.05.2005
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Until she became a mother, Brooke Shields seemed to have a charmed life. At 36 she had a successful career as an actress and model and a happy marriage to scriptwriter Chris Henchy, following her high profile divorce from tennis player Andre Agassi.
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All that was missing was a baby. But when her daughter, Rowan, was born, she found herself sliding into despair.
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Brooke talks to the 主播大秀 World Service's Everywoman programme about her book Down Came the Rain - a startlingly honest account of her postnatal depression and slow path to recovery - today (Tuesday 31 May).
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Brooke hopes to break the taboo surrounding the condition which affects 100,000 women every year in the UK alone and can, in extreme cases, lead to suicide or infanticide.
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Her depression was particularly inexplicable as she had struggled for years to conceive.
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However when she did, she sailed through her pregnancy with ease, glamorously gracing the cover of Vogue.
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But the birth was traumatic - after 24 hours in labour, she had an emergency Caesarean and suffered a herniated uterus.
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Instead of the anticipated rush of maternal feelings, Brooke felt disconnected and was jealous of her husband, who seemed so comfortable with their daughter.
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But things were to get much worse. At home, the smell of the plastic nappies reminded her of the operating theatre.
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She was permanently exhausted from the constant feeding and panicked whenever the baby cried.
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"I had no relationship with my daughter," she says matter of factly, "she was there and I was there. I had no desire to pick her up, no desire to gaze at her, there was no maternal feeling - all I could do was cry."
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Full of self-loathing about her unmaternal detachment, she fantasised about killing herself and worse.
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"I sat holding my daughter and could not get the image of her flying through the air and hitting the wall in front of me out of my head. The wall morphed into a video game and in it her little body smacked the surface and slid down on to the floor," she recounts, chillingly.
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Brooke was advised to take medication by her doctor and finally succumbed after increasing pressure from her family.
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She admits she was a 'textbook case' for postnatal depression.
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Her best friend, actor David Strickland, had recently killed himself, her father died of cancer just before Rowan's birth and she previously had a miscarriage.
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But all this hasn't put her off motherhood. She says: "I now have a wonderful relationship with my daughter - when she runs into the room I am already there waiting to see her."
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Presenter: Anna Umbina; Producer: June Christie
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Broadcast Times (UK time)
Everywoman: 1 programme x 25 minutes
Tuesday 31 May: 1030, 1530, 2030
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