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From Dave Tomlinson,Ìýwriter and Vicar of St Luke’s Holloway in London:

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It’s probably passed most of us by, but today is ‘Spy Wednesday’! This isn’t an excuse for wall-to-wall Bond films; it’s when tradition has it Judas covertly colluded with the authorities to have Jesus arrested. Which is why we still refer to a treacherous person as ‘a Judas’.

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In the story, he was so mortified by his action that Judas topped himself. And many see his betrayal as unforgiveable: he is eternally damned. Me, I don’t believe that. After all, Jesus told a story about a shepherd with a lost sheep; he said that despite having 99 sheep in the fold, the shepherd never gave up searching for his one lost sheep. History may not have forgiven Judas, but I’m sure Jesus did.

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The problem was: Judas couldn’t forgive himself. And in my experience, after decades of working with people who’ve committed acts they regret, I reckon this is the hardest bit – forgiving oneself.

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Some of my most enjoyable (and effective) experiences as a priest are in the pub after a funeral or a wedding, or at a party: resisting lovely, generous people trying to get me drunk, dancing to George Michael, Abba or Britney – and often listening to ad hoc confessions above the hubbub, then speaking words of forgiveness.Ìý Many of us carry around feelings of guilt or shame – who hasn’t done things they regret? And the memory of them hurts.

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I don’t enjoy recalling the time I took my eight-year-old son out of a restaurant when he was really annoying me and whacked him in anger; or when I refused to help my disabled dad, going out with my mates instead, or when I’ve behaved selfishly toward my lovely wife. But I have a choice: to dwell on my guilt feelings, allowing them to overshadow my life now, or to admit to my wrongdoing, let go of the feelings, and make better choices in the present.

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From personal experience, I know how guilt eats up a lot of nervous energy, which can be better employed nourishing compassion, creative imagination and self-worth.

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Life is too short to stew on useless feelings of guilt and shame. Once I face up to my shortcomings, they can become a springboard to better choices, better experiences – a better future.

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