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Sunday Worship from Northern Ireland, led by the Rev Cheryl Meban.
听Script may not be as broadcast and may include various production notes and possible errors. It is provided as a guide only for those who wish to refer to the service content.

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REV CHERYL 听MEBAN

Good morning. I鈥檓 in a beautiful valley in the Mourne Mountains in Co Down, with the waters of Carlingford Lough gleaming in the distance. Just behind me is a modern building the Benedictine Abbey of Holy Cross. You don鈥檛 have to be here in Rostrevor very long before you get a sense of peace, of great calm, an invitation to worship.

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MUSIC 鈥� Track: I Lift my eyes to the quiet hills / Performers: Orchestra, Choir and Congregation, All Souls鈥� Church, London / Album: The Hymn Makers: Timothy Dudley-Smith (Tell Out, My Soul) / Composer: MA Baughen/Elizabeth Crocker / Label: Kingsway

CHERYL听 Loving God, the wonders of your creation, the splendour of the heavens
the beauty of the earth, the order, diversity and awe of nature -
all speak to us of your glory.

The coming of your Son, the presence of your Spirit, the fellowship of your people -

Show us the marvel of your love.
We worship you, God of Grace and God of Glory.

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We worship you, yet not as well as we could.

Generously as you have lavished your love on us, but we have failed to love our neighbour We fall short when we could trust and follow you.
We have allowed our fears, our stress and our anxieties to overwhelm us

We wander from your ways, careless of the world you have entrusted to us to care for.

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Merciful and Holy One, forgive us our failures, empower us to change,

and bring us to everlasting life
we ask, through Jesus Christ, your firstborn Son, our beloved brother and Saviour.听 Amen

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Today is the start of Mental Health Awareness Week. We often take our mental health for granted, but any of us can easily be unexpectedly troubled and upset by some change in our circumstances or a slow build up of factors, physical illness, worries or tension or

鈥�. as Stu discovered

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MUSIC听 Track: Adagio from String Quartet, Op. 11 / Performers: Keller Quartet / Album: Ligeti: String Quartets & Barber: Adagio/ Composer: Samuel Barber / Label: RCM

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STU
A good few years ago, as I was being considered for ordained ministry, I had a breakdown. It still feels funny to say those words as they don鈥檛 seem very me to me. I鈥檝e always seen myself as strong, confident and independent, with a good sense of my own resources, even if I do have a tendency to push myself.

Of course the circumstances matter, but they don鈥檛 matter right now as I鈥檓 telling you about the experience. All you really need to know is that I was under sustained stress at my work, with plans being torn up at the last minute on a daily basis, and an increasing feeling of anxious guilt that I was letting down those entrusted to my care. My body got addicted to adrenalin, and after months of this, unsurprisingly it gave way and I collapsed.

I remember sleeping twenty hours a day, getting signed off work and put on a course of beta blockers. And where the body goes the mind often follows; the delicate balance of chemicals that course through our bodies nourish our brains as well, so it鈥檚 no surprise that I was later diagnosed with something akin to PTSD and spent a couple of years on anti-depressants. I remember being unable to feel like me, and the feeling that everything was unravelling and spooling into some insatiable black hole. I remember guiltily spending whole days playing games on my phone because I couldn鈥檛 face anything else. ((I remember feeling songless.))

Beside the medication a few things helped, even if I didn鈥檛 realise it at the time. My GP referred me to a counsellor who helped me face my own expectations of myself and others, and encouraged me on a journey of forgiveness for my mental injury. I found myself drawn to Luke鈥檚 account of Jesus鈥� anguish in Gethsemane, and I found comfort in the thoughts of Jurgen Moltmann. Moltmann argued that the Trinity is known most keenly at the cross, where God is found both in the power of the Almighty Father and in the brokenness of the dying Son. But most of all, I felt Jesus鈥� quiet, wordless presence 鈥� the man of sorrows walking beside me, not trying to cheer me up, or telling me to get over it, but leading me through death鈥檚 dark shadows.

I鈥檓 a few years beyond the initial injury now, and I still wear the scars inside. I hope I鈥檓 better at being comfortable with my brokenness. I think I鈥檓 more aware of my limits. But sometimes the trauma resurfaces and my body goes right back to those early days. For some reason I can鈥檛 cope with heights now! The temptation as a minister is to try and hide these scars, but then I remember that Jesus didn鈥檛 so why should I?听 468

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MUSIC Come Light of God/ Performers: The Monks of Holy Cross Abbey/ Gregorian Chant/ 主播大秀 Recording

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CHERYL 听Dom-Mark Ephrem, the Abbot here at Rostrevor will lead our reflection

DOM MARK-EPHREM The chant just sung guides this reflection as we enter into the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Week
All of us experience darkness in our lives; darkness is part of life 鈥� times of loneliness, confusion, profound loss.

For just a moment, I invite you to consider the story of God鈥檚 creation of the world in the Book of Genesis - how things were before light first appeared: All was empty darkness and chaos.The prevailing negative mood evoked by these words 鈥� emptiness, darkness and chaos 鈥� can disturb us. We are inclined to deny that they inhabit us and our world.

To feel emptiness inside, to be submerged by sombre thoughts, to find ourselves confused can cause us to experience a vague guilt or to feel ashamed of ourselves. Surely people of faith should not be inhabited by emotions such as these!

The wisdom that emerges from many biblical texts would have us acknowledge and confront whatever emptiness darkness or chaos assailing us, as a necessary first step to freedom from their grip on our lives.

The Psalms which form the staple diet of every Benedictine monk鈥檚 prayer encourage us greatly in his respect. They show us that we can be blatantly honest in expressing our feelings 鈥� however shocking or outrageous.The Psalmist was never afraid to articulate whatever was going on deep down inside him; he hid nothing from the Lord... assured that the God of compassion knows and welcomes each person as they are.

The Prayer of the Church has monks echo the Psalms throughout the course of each day at the various Offices which form the rhythm of their whole being and existence.

It is also part of the monastic vocation to pray the Psalms in a manner which re-echoes the cry of the world.

We can make our own such expressions arising in the human heart 鈥� like the Psalmist - without embarrassment, embellishment, shame, or pretence.

John Calvin leaves us in no doubt of the good to be gained from such Psalmic prayer. In the words of the great Protestant Reformer:听 There is not an emotion of which anyone can be conscious that is not here represented as in a mirror. Or rather, the Holy Spirit has brought to life here all the grief, sorrows, fears, doubts, hopes, cares, perplexities, in short, all the distracting emotions with which our minds are agitated.

Being able to put words on our feelings is vital for our well-being. It helps release the bitter poison of our negative emotions. If these are left unheeded, we put at risk our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. In pouring out our hearts we find healing and help.

MUSIC Lead me Lord /Performers: Discovery Singers / Album: A Cappella Hymns- Great is thy faithfulness / Composer: SS Wesley/ Label: Discovery House Music

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CHERYL 听Mental health can be damaged by the arrival of devastating news as happened to Ruth.

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RUTH

When I was 17 shortly and after being picked to be the vocalist with a Jazz band in Belfast., I met a 19 year old saxophonist called Andrew. I was energetic, effervescent and confident while he was quiet, conscientious and gentle. We were an unlikely pair, but somehow we became a couple. (Andrew was witty, easy company and he loved to play the piano and I鈥檇 sing along). We shared a deep Christian faith.听

We eventually got married and went on to have a bouncing baby boy called Joel.
11 years after we first met, Andrew suddenly got very sick. He was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour and we were given a very bleak prognosis from the start.
It was such an immense shock and totally life altering in a way I could never have imagined. Andrew battled the illness bravely, with an endlessly positive spirit and a genuine trust and reliance on God that was utterly remarkable. We were blessed with another baby during this time, a little boy called Freddie who was an amazing miracle that we鈥檇 been told would never happen.
Andrew died in October 2019 aged 32. I felt like I should have been prepared for grief because I鈥檇 had nearly 2 years to think about it, but nothing prepares you for losing someone you love so much.

Before Andrew鈥檚 diagnosis and subsequent death, I had, on the whole, been a very positive and optimistic person with good mental health. But grief made it very hard to think positively. My best description of grief is like a huge terrifying monster comes into your home and won鈥檛 leave.
The monster takes away all your joy and fun and your life becomes scary and unknown. Nothing feels easy or familiar. And the worst bit, is that it feels like you鈥檒l feel like that forever.

I was very cross with God. I couldn鈥檛 understand why it would be in anyone鈥檚 best interest for Andrew to die. He loved God, he gave so much time to his service, why didn鈥檛 God heal him? (Why did God leave two little boys without a loving dad and听听me without my husband?) There were times when I wondered was God there at all, was he listening to me?
But there have been many times when his presence has been so tangible. When my baby Freddie would cry in the night, I would cry too and I鈥檇 speak out loud the words from Psalm 56.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

It used to make me laugh thinking of God having to write down all the new tears I鈥檇 cried each night, and funny enough, that would give me a sense of peace that could only have come from God.

I still don鈥檛 know why God took Andrew, but I have got to a place where I鈥檓 accepting of God鈥檚 sovereignty and authority. I trust that he can see the full picture in a way that I can鈥檛.
I am hugely comforted by the fact that I know Andrew is in heaven with Jesus and I imagine how happy he is.

I will always miss Andrew, but grief definitely puts things into perspective. Joy is more joyful, time is more precious and God is always faithful. I am thankful that I will meet Andrew again someday only because of our Saviour Jesus Christ.

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CHERYL听 In the next chant the Psalmist听 at a particularly difficult period of his life approached the Lord hailing Him as His light and His help.)

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MUSIC Illuminatio /Performers: The Monks of Holy Cross Abbey/ Gregorian Chant/ 主播大秀 Recording

DOM MARK-EPHREM

Suffering is part of the stuff of our life. We cannot avoid it however much we try. Our avoidance tactics only end up compounding our suffering.

The best way to work through pain is to talk it through.

The monastic tradition emphasises the importance of openness of the heart, the sharing or unveiling of our thoughts before another. This demands honesty and humility; as well as confidence and trust. The ancient monks were known as the therapists because people would go to them to offload the burdens they were carrying in the hope of finding relief. Healing and release came - by talking things through.

Often the abba or amma consulted would offer a word of life to the one who came seeking counsel. In seeking these words of life, the afflicted one sought to counter-balance the听 unhealthy self-talk of going round in circles.

St Benedict implies in his Rule for Monks that to admit to one鈥檚 struggles and put words on them leads us to experience God's healing, reconciling grace.Subsequently in the 8th century, Alcuin of York, counselled his readers similarly: Lay bare your secrets 鈥� Lay open your wounds 鈥� Diligently purge the thoughts of your heart by the words you speak before one who is faithful and prudent so that nothing remains 鈥� Thus the medicaments of healing will be able to take effect in you.

In our own day, psychotherapy and such programmes as The Twelve Steps prove helpful to many. These build upon the insights and influence of such ancient spiritual practice.
They also encourage the sharing of one's thoughts and the opening of one's heart to a trusted other.

The way to recovery proposed by the monastic tradition, and confirmed in modern therapy, obliges us to aim to be humble as we engage in unadorned self-revelation 鈥� in human conversation and in prayer.

Jesus leads the way here. He expressed His raw feelings to His disciples: My soul is sorrowful to the point of death.. and cried out His distress in prayer - My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? Evidently, Jesus wasn鈥檛 afraid to cry to God out of the depths of his trouble and desolation.

The Apostles鈥� Creed reveals that Christ descended into hell. I find that deeply consoling.

Christ went down into the very depths of Sheol to bring forth suffering humanity held captive there.

Fittingly, Eastern Orthodox iconography portrays the Risen Christ standing on the gates of the underworld. He is shown having broken hell鈥檚 gates under His feet, and leading Adam and Eve by the hand to newfound freedom and glory with Him.

With this Easter icon in our mind鈥檚 eye, whenever we crave release from pain or captivity, we cry out our prayer with the Psalmist: Reach down from heaven and save me, O God.

MUSIC 听Psalm 57/ Performers: London Voices/ Album: Oxford Book of Choral Music: Music by Black Composers/ Composer: Betty Jackson King/ Label: Oxford Academic Recording

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CHERYL听

听A reading from the 14th Chapter of St John鈥檚 Gospel

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you for ever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

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听I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 听They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.

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DOM MARK-EPHREM

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We just heard Jesus assure His disciples they will not be left orphans. They will not be bereft, abandoned or forsaken: I will give you another Comforter, the Paraclete, is His promise.

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This Greek word Paraclete is听 rich in meaning 鈥� signifying one who answers a call for help.

It suggests the offering of consolation and assistance. A Paraclete speaks up for and defends those with no voice. The title Paraclete attributed to the Holy Spirit helps us understand the Lord our God as being, at one and the same time, 鈥淥ne who pleads in favour of the weak鈥� and 鈥淥ne who listens to their cry鈥�.

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Is it not a comfort for us as we think of God鈥檚 Holy Spirit listening and interceding for us in this way?听 I believe, it also challenges us to look at how far we are willing to live our Christian lives in this same way.

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I remember once hearing a man who had spent the most of his life caring for people with mental health difficulties, offer encouragement to those in his care. He said to them, The Paraclete is given to those who are lonely and need the presence of a friend, to those who are poor in spirit and who cry out to God for help. He then went on to encourage them to recognise that they shared that mission -听 to collaborate with the Paraclete, by reaching out to their brothers and sisters in need.

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He stressed that it was their mission to be willing to offer their comforting presence and caring assistance to the afflicted. He said to them: Every time you look after a person in need and answer their cry, you become paracletes, just as Jesus was a paraclete to His disciples and left them the gift of the Holy Spirit for them to be helpers 鈥� paracletes -听 to others in their turn.

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During this Mental Health Awareness Week, I hear an invitation addressed to all our Churches and to each and every one of us personally: it is the invitation to listen and give answer to those who plead for our attention 鈥� often without daring to put their plea for help into words.

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Maybe at the end of this hour we might take to our own hearts the same call to live as servants of the Paraclete...ready to stand alongside and advocate for those who are racked by loneliness, those distraught by ceaseless emotional turmoil and the trauma of mental breakdown. 鈥�which is so often compounded by the fear of the incomprehension of others, their harsh judgement, or even abandonment - because of the terror such suffering can stir up in听 the hearts of those who turn away from it fearing the risk of empathy. May we be wounded healers and paracletes to one another,

MUSIC 听The King of Love my Shepherd is/ Performers: New Irish Choir/Traditional Irish Melody / 主播大秀 Recording

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听CHERYL听 Let us pray
Lord, we pray for your people (throughout the world in all the branches of your church) that we will patiently and compassionately understand the problems that mental illness can cause, and that we will always stand beside -and for- those who are suffering.

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We pray for everyone whose mental health has been compromised through sickness, anxiety or a change in their circumstances or any other of a multitude of reasons that they will not be held captive, but may find in you a place of refuge and peace.

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We pray for any who, in various ways, support and help those who suffer, for those who work to promote good mental health: May they always be guided and strengthened by you.

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And we pray for your world and for all victims of war, hunger and oppression in every place. Bless the efforts of those seek justice, fairness and peace

Through Jesus Christ our Lord

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MUSIC: The Lord鈥檚 Prayer

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CHERYL & DOM-MARK

May the Lord bless you and keep you,
May his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you

May he look upon you with kindness

And give you his peace.
And may Almighty God bless you, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen

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MUSIC: All my hope on God is founded/ Performers: Choir of St Georges Windsor, Marlowe Brass / Album: Abide With Me and other Favourite Hymns / Composer: Herbert Howells/ Label: Naxos

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Amen, amen.听

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