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I was going to talk about the apostrophe. You know, that totally redundant one but then I thought possibly it was indicating the possessive and the band had, err, ahem, "been claimed by" five girls called Rebbecca in the same night, which would truly be unusual since most people spell their own names right and also I thought going on about apostrophes for very long was probably wandering a bit too far into Derridean levels of pedantry.

SERIOUSLY, though, it does not make you look cool to spell your song title wrong. There are people who can check this, you're signed to bloody Universal. Mind you, so are the Pussycat Dolls...

You can watch the video (for some reason The View have disabled embedding except using their own rubbish and tiny media player which you have to subscribe to ten things on their site to be able to use; you really must watch the video, though; it is amazing).

POLICE! NUDITY! SWEARING! It's like they're TEARING SOCIETY APART AT IT'S VERY SEAMS! Did you see them, in the hot tub, with GIRLS?! Yes, that's right, The View are now famous enough to have their very own groupies! Women have never, ever thrown themselves at acts that weren't truly credible and REAL. That's a definite fact. Then one of them DID A BOMB INTO A SWIMMING POOL. Christ, can't somebody stop this band before they kick off a global craze?!

Later in the video, the madness continues as one of the band THROWS A FISH. Yes, he actually holds what looks like it's probably a plaice or something - already dead, I might add - and THROWS IT. WILD. I don't know about you, readers but I couldn't keep up with this kind of MADNESS for longer than ten minutes!! They even play a few shows in the middle of it all!!!(!)

And what is the soundtrack to all this rock'n'roll abandon? Why it is a jangly indie tune. The sort you can imagine soundtracking an advert for... I don't know, bread, possibly. Or STD testing. Bread that tests you for STDs. Something kind of government-endorsed, anyway; it's the way the line about "and the one I love the most has turned into a junkie" gets repeated so much, it sounds like it's a tragic story of DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS, which is possibly not actually something the View were necessarily trying to get across.

I mean... is this really a tale of glamourous rock and roll excess? No, it's not, it's a bunch of lads who you can't help thinking should probably be in college singing songs that'd be quite entertaining on the coach when you're going on a school trip to the museum and everyone starts singing. Not, you know, a song for which I would ever even consider paying actual money.

It's not even that it is actively offensive. It would amuse me if one of my friends sang it because we'd just met five girls all called Rebecca and hahahaha then we walked back from the pub and heehee, there was a pigeon, you know and then we realised that fit lass was actually on drugs! But it's, y'know, an in-joke and only enjoyable as such. So if you know the View, this is probably hilarious and brings back all those memories but if not then ...well what the hell is all this supposed to be, really?

Download: Out now
CD Released: October 27th

(Hazel Robinson)