All entries in this category: Top 5s
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Top 5: Isn't That Ironic? Donchathink?
Taken from the Oxford English Dictionary...
Irony
1. A figure of speech in which the intended meaning is the opposite of that expressed by the words used; usually taking the form of sarcasm or ridicule in which laudatory expressions are used to imply condemnation or contempt.
2. A condition of affairs or events of a character opposite to what was, or might naturally be, expected; a contradictory outcome of events as if in mockery of the promise and fitness of things.Irony is perhaps one of the most troublesome words in the English language. Some people think it applies to things which are just unfortunate or coincidental, some people use think it means the same thing as sarcastic, and some people think it's a word which describes something which contains a lot of metal.
So, in attempting to draw together a collection of songs or song titles which have had an ironic effect on the people who sang them, we are all just going to have to accept that irony, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder. Otherwise this thing is over before it even begins. Which would be...y'know...thingy.
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2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Steve Perkins
FRASER'S BIT: And now, with the final part of ChartBlog's review of the year trilogy...ladies and gentlemen I give you...Steeeeve!
So, Fraser asked all of the ChartBlog writers to pick their top five songs of the year for an end-of-year retrospective type of thing, and I have a problem with that. Because I cannot possibly narrow it down to just five. To begin with I had trouble getting anything below my shortlist of ten, but after forcing myself to be absolutely mercenary, jettisoning some of my favourite songs of 2007 (Katharine McPhee’s ‘Love Story’, Timbaland’s ‘The Way I Are’) because I really had to get the numbers down, I got it down to six. Which is just one more than five, you may have noticed.
And I’m refusing to budge any further, because I think all six of these songs thoroughly deserve to be here, and I cannot in good conscience let any more of them go. And you can call that unfair, if you like, but I don’t care. I’m not moving. It’s six or nothing.
Continue reading "2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Steve Perkins"
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2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Fraser McAlpine
Oh God, these Top 5 lists are so hard to write! And it's not just the need to try and find a definitive shortlist (with the emphasis on SHORT) of songs from a year which has been chock-full of amazing treats - 'Tambourine' by Eve, 'Timebomb' by Beck, 'Gum' by Cornelius and 'My Manic and I' by Laura Marling all deserve to be in the list and they are not. There's also the problem of co-ordinating personal choices with those of the other ChartBlog writers, to avoid needless repetition.
First Hazel nicked one of my total faves of the year, ('Atlas' by Battles, if you're interested), then Nickie nicked another (anything by the Wild Beasts, we love those fellas), so before Steve gets his final list in - I'm reliably informed he's cramming more songs in than he is allowed, frisky little sprite that he is - I'm going to get this lot up VERY quickly!
Continue reading "2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Fraser McAlpine"
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2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Hazel Robinson
FRASER'S BIT: Now that the last days of 2007 are drawing near, it seems a good time to look back over ChartBlog's first full year of existence, and maybe have a think about some of the songs which have defined that year for the people whose thoughts and ideas about pop matters have so enthralled/annoyed people over the past 12 months. Starting with our resident deep-thinker, and self-styled controversy-magnet, Hazel Robinson.
Hazel, what are your favourite songs of 2007, please?
Continue reading "2007 - My Euphonical* Romance - Hazel Robinson"
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The Rotters Who Spoiled Music
Years ago the NME ran a feature called The Bds Who Ruined Rock, in which they pointed an accusing finger at a number of classic rock acts, and told them off for being so good at what they do, that other, lesser acts have flocked to cash in, by copying their every cough and scrape, and missing a huge chunk of the point.
It was such a long time ago that original list featured such acts as the Byrds, the Velvet Underground, the Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan, but there's no reason why we can't apply a similarly stringent nit-comb to the art of modern song. After all, this kind of industry gold-rush for soundalikes, which happens as soon as a band becomes popular, is still going on, as anyone who witnessed the run of post-Arctic Monkeys Yorkshire terrier-ists will tell you.
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Top 5 - Here Be Monsters!
We are none of us perfect - no, Mr Cent, not even YOU - but when you cast your eyes over some of the people whose job it is to entertain us with their musical talents, and you have a good hard think about what makes for a charismatic face, well, it's fair to say that some people are more imperfect than others. Not in an unsexy way, in case anyone thinks this just picking on the weird-looking kids. It's more that these are people who are broadly considered to be charismatic pop star types, even though they have a few facial oddities here and there.
Or, to put it another way...if THIS lot can make it, looking like THAT, there's hope for all of us...
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Top 5 - Five Degrees Of Cover-ation
You've all played that game 'Six Degrees Of Separation', right? Where you work out who has snogged who, and who they've gone on to snog, and then who THEY'VE snogged, and between you and everyone you know, you see how far you can go before you hit a dead end. And then there's the Hollywood version, where you pick any film star, and think about another film star who has worked with that film star, then another film star who worked with THAT film star...and try and work your way to Kevin Bacon...for reasons which are not entirely clear. That's just what people do.
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Top 5 - One Trick Pony Club
New bands walk a fine line when they try and display their musical wares to the pop public. Should they define what they do in a series of similar songs, so that everyone who likes that kind of thing comes rushing over all at once, or should they spread all of their ideas out as widely as possible, so that everyone knows the true depth of their talent?
Well, here's five acts who've take the first option to such a massive degree that it's tempting to wonder if there actually IS any depth to their talent. All in good fun, naturally...
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Top 5 - Join Up For Pop War!
They may like to dress in army cast-offs and swan about like generals in a mighty army of ROCK WARRIORS...but are our chart-bound guitar-swingers really any cop when it comes to the art of battle?
Well, duh! OBVIOUSLY not. Still, here's an idea of how a music-based skirmish could go, based on nothing but pure conjecture and the fun of mucking about with band names...
No. 5: Invasion Of The Manic Street Preachers
Well, every battle has to start somewhere, and who better to kick off Pop War than a bunch of mouthy Welsh agitators with a knack for annoying as many people as they entertain? Things begin to escalate when the powers-that-be receive the news that there are wild-eyed Celts in our towns, spreading their radical agenda to the nation's youth...even though the actual nation's youth are by actually far too busy dyeing their hair black and pretending to be Gerard Way to actually listen to whatever Lanky, Stumpy and Shouty Street Preacher have to say for themselves. Even so, Lord Sir General Twiddly of Moustache will have called an emergency meeting of the Old Guard Committee to discuss how best to see off this threat to our way of life. And the decision will have been unanimous. We need an enemy!
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Top 5 - Pop Rhyming Slang
DISCLAIMER: Some of the themes in this hi-LAR-ious feature might lead a casual observer to conclude that ChartBlog endorses the use of swear words. This is a g* lie. And if you s* tell anyone otherwise, we will personally cut your j y*** off. OK?
Here, in reverse order, are the five stars whose names could, with a little prompting, become the "It's all gone Pete Tong" of tomorrow...
No. 5: Lily Allen
Original Definition: Pretty, mouth-wonked daughter of the Sheriff Of Nottingham. Swears like fishwife. Funny blogger (which could be rhyming slang, but isn't). Flouncy dresses and trainers. Immensely likeable, if a little prickly in interview form...
ChartBlog Definition: "Lily" - A cute description of that part of the male anatomy which is not to be found on the female anatomy, unless in extreme circumstances. More detail on what these circumstances may be can be found in list form within the pages of 'The ChartBlog Guide To The Essential Rudeness And Urr! Of The Human Body'. Available from all good biological reference-book stores.
Example: "Oh My God! And then! He sat down! In them shorts! And...And... I SAW HIS LILY! *shrieks* "
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Top 5 - Here Comes The Pride
You need a certain kind of self belief to really cut it as a world-beating pop, rock or rap star. The kind of self belief that leads people to deduce that your mirror shades reflect in as well as out. And here's five of the best examples...
No. 5: Justin Timberlake
There's surely no better example of extreme self-regard in action than the first line of JT's comeback song 'Sexyback', in which he makes the outlandish claim that he is returning the gift of 'sexy' to everyone, presumably because he had borrowed it for a while in order to get frisky with that Camera D'Ass lady.
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Top 5 - Song Title Letter Change Roulette
All it takes is a title, and the removal and replacement of one tiny little letter, and you can wreck a song's meaning forever. OH THE POWER!
No. 5: 'Whistle For The Chair'
Oh sure, mucking about with words like this seems like the stupidest and most childish thing to do in the whole world (EVER!). And that, as I'm sure most of you have now worked out, is where ALL THE FUN is. Continue reading "Top 5 - Song Title Letter Change Roulette"
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Top 5 - It's Party Time!
We're having a party to celebrate the end of TOTP Online and the start of the Chart Blog...look what tasty dishes we're serving up...
No. 5: Jelly Furtado
No self-respecting party is complete without a great big bowlful of the wobbly stuff all shaking and vibrating on the plate (easy there, Knowles, we'll get to you in time). Naturally our one is in the shape of that promiscuous girl, and it seems to have gone down a storm with the all-star guests.
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