"Rickaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" *the sound of shattered glass*. Oh how we love Bianca's gob. And, so does theÌýloveable man himself, asÌýthey're getting hitched!Ìý*blows her fringed horn* It's only taken the poor soulÌýa proposalÌýfromÌýthe fiery redhead for the penny to drop. Bless.
Oh, how it melts the icicles onÌýmy heart to see Ricky and BiÌýshare a bit of romanceÌýthis Christmas.ÌýBUT... will theÌýtroubled twosome head for marital bliss 13 years after their first attempt?
The duo have had more ups and downs than Heathrow's runways, but we all love a bit of drama! Reminicse over their colourful past together.
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Create your own Bianca style wedding dress - raid your nan's tablecloth drawer and dig out the biggest doiley you can find.Ìý22 million of us watched Bi in her frock as they tied the knot.
The newly married couple are obviously wolfing down their instant porridge (check that orange glow). Who'd have thought that they were the original Posh and Becks?!
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You: Sleighbells ring, are you listening?
Me: No, I'm too busy trying to figure out who killed Archie MitchellÌý
You: Oh OK... any ideas?
Me: Erm... it was Phil... *no* Ronnie... *no* Peggy. Ryan. Ooh I know it was Jack. The dark horse! Hmmm... it could have been Sam. Ian! Lucy! Or Bradley... with that left hook of his... Janine...?
You: *stroke chin and watch this sinister apparition which materialises in front of your very eyes*
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Me: Where the hell did that video come from? Was it generated by my thought processes?
You: Err - ?
Me: The outside money's on Dirty Den's ghost rearing up from it's ghostly home in the cellar of the Vic and whacking his earthly rival. Yep, my money's on Den.
You: I can't get a word in edgeways here. I'm off to find out what Detective Chief Inspector Marsden thinks and to reveal what I think in the comments bit below
Me: Oh good. I await your thoughts! It was definitely Den though... DR LEGG! IT WAS DR LEGG etc etc
*This is not a rhetorical question. We really do need you to tell us. LIKE, NOW PLEASE!
Stop press! Archie Mitchell done in by Queen Vic bust! But this isn't the Square's first death by random object.
Here are our Top Walford Weapons...
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1. Cast Iron Dog Doorstop
Amongst the weapons in Pauline Fowler's arsenal were a machete, an AK47, a candlestick, some lead piping, a slightly -off sandwich, and a dog shaped doorstop. No prizes for guessing which Chrissie used to knock off Den.
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2. Shoes
"If only he'd worn slip-on shoes," Barry's grieving wife Janine cried! Next time you complain that your strappy stilettos are killing you, give a thought to Barry Evans who was literally felled by hisÌýfootwear. Janine gave the shove, the slippery soles did the rest.
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Christmas in Walford wouldn't be the same without high drama and a staggering revelation. Isn't that what Chrimbo is all about? Well, 2009 isn't different to any other year in Albert Square...
If you wantÌýto know more, and would rather not wait until the episode airs onÌýChristmas day at 8pm (so impatient!)... then go ahead... click on the link below. Go on. Go on, go on, go on...
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Not only do I want to wish you a very merry Christmas (hic hic, burp)... but two EastEnders lovelies want to share their greetings with you. First up, it's none other than the perfectly packaged Barbara Windsor.
Let's hope that your ChrimboÌýis better than Peggy's is shaping up to be...
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And that's not all! Deck the halls with boughs of hypo-allergenic holly. It's Charlie Clements wishing you a very Bradley Christmas.
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We have one jubbly present for you all to feast your eyes on... the Mitchells' smiling! Aww, what a treat. It's not as if theÌýfaaaaaaaamily have had much to smile about what with arduous Archie and his sidekick Janine. That girl needs to be taught a lesson... where's "fat Pat" to give the girl a slap?
You'll find all the snaps that were taken at this shoot decorating the TV mags and newspaper pages over this jolly season. Hooray.
It was a cosy Christmas affair. BabsÌý(Peggy) arrived at theÌýmerryÌý'oleÌýphotoshoot first, Sam (Ronnie)Ìýhad bags of energy at such an early time of day...ÌýOMG thatÌýgirl has enthusiasm byÌý(Santa's) sackload.ÌýAnd charming Larry shared a few jokes with Steve (Phil) over a brew. Check out the jolly video...
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Must be funny in a rich man's world. Doesn't look like anyone round Walford way's going to be getting much first hand experience of that any time soon... unless they're in cahoots with Archie Mitchell.
Bankrupt Brannings
Spare a thought for poor Max and Abi who had to get by on nothing but cous cous, pesto and kidney beans this week. That'll teach Tanya for having such bourgeois taste in food. If Shirley walked out, Heather and George would have enough tinned pies to live on for a fortnight. Abi was compelled to hand over her savings to pay her Dad's debts and gave away her cat to save money on pet food/vets bills. If Santa were to pop down the chimney she'd have his boots pawned before his belly'd squeezed through the flue.
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Asian Network's Adil RayÌýbefriends Nitin Ganatra (Masood) to go in search of the Bhangra music playing around the Square. Where's it coming from?!! They bothÌýsurpass the Vic (well done, lads) in their quest and get pally enroute.Ìý
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I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't need a lot of presents underneath the Christmas treeÌý[cut to the chase, please - Ed].
All I want for Chriiiistmasssss is... a video of Sid Owen and Patsy Palmer's Christmas photoshooooooooooot (to send out to the press and mags). And ooh baby! Here it is...
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Roll up, roll up for pics of the wedding of the year... or more accurately, the wedding of next year.
You'll see it on telly on New Year's Day, but in the meantime take a look at these backstage pics... *sob* It's just... *fans self* I'm fine... I just... I always cry at weddings...*collapses*
Preeya (Amira) spent weeks with a personal trainer to get the necessary neck strength to endure the weight of her bejewelled head-dress...
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Asian Network's Adil Ray snuck into Albert Square to play Santa to the MasoodsÌýand sat down onÌýThe Swings of Contemplation (TM) withÌýMarc Elliot to get the skinny on Syed's naughty antics with Christian. More videos to come later in the week...ÌýÌý
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Tell the truth and shame the devil, the old saying goes. That being the case, the Prince of Darkness will be tickled pink with all the lies and intrigue afoot in Walford this week...
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Ian's seduction swindle
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Ever the romantic, Ian Beale thought that convincing his internet date that he was a Walford bigshot would have her splashing around in his hot tub as quick as you could say "Jane? Err. Don't know who you're talking about, love. Now shut up and kiss me." Unfortunately his four-day stubble and refusal to pay for her drink put paid to his saucy intentions...
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The newly married couple are obviously wolfing down their instant porridge (check that orange glow). Who'd have thought that they were the original Posh and Becks?! 