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"To provide a party of children with a spread that will satisfy their keen sense of what is due at Christmas-time, without making them ill, is no mean feat."

And it is with that we begin our collection of safety advice gathered from the Ö÷²¥´óÐã listings - and found thanks to Genome's clever Food poisoning, as this 1997 festive episode of reminds us, is a clear and present danger over Christmas. Even the halls of have been seen "inundated with policemen who have fallen prey to a dodgy batch of turkey sandwiches" one Christmas Eve.

Fear not: while the 1980's team will tell you all about how to avoid food poisoning during the festivities ("an important aspect of Christmas", they say), 1960's DIY guru is ready  to help you with some advice on how to "keep accidents, draughts, and burglars well away from the family circle." 

Failing that, you could always find solace on this episode of Radio 4's :

"Did your turkey explode last year? Did the children have the mumps? Were you burgled, breathalysed, or stranded at an airport? That was a misery Christmas. A seasonal anthology for all those who sympathise with Scrooge, and have wished to see anyone who said " Merry Christmas " boiled alive with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.'"