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Love your councillor

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Mark Cummings | 11:57 UK time, Monday, 4 April 2011

The nomination period for those wanting to stand in this year's local elections is this lunchtime.

Five out of the six district councils are having votes on May the 5thy. This morning the Breakfast Show Bard Peter Wyton added his little bit of magic to the issue.

Be kindly to your Councillor,
he isn't very bright,
or he wouldn't take a job
where you could ring him up at night
to tell him that your drains are blocked
or that your garden gnomes
have been pilfered by a fine arts thief
disguised as Sherlock Holmes.

Be charming to your Chairperson,
don't make your language graphic.
She doesn't dig the roads up
to obstruct commuter traffic.
She doesn't sanction power cuts
or sever sewerage pipes,
or permit your neighbour's children
to behave like guttersnipes.

Don't vilify your Mayor
when he attends official functions.
His digestion's being ruined
by all those civic luncheons.
Don't make hurtful, cutting comments
when he's robed up to the teeth.
For all you know, he might be
drop-dead gorgeous underneath.

Pamper local politicians.
Remember, we elect them
and it's in our vital interests
to encourage and protect them.
If they feel so undervalued
That they won't get out of bed,
The government might make us all
Be Councillors instead!


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