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Banned (again) from the Big Top

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William Crawley | 19:56 UK time, Saturday, 2 August 2008

darwin-medium.jpgIt's the penultimate evening of Lambeth 2008, and I can report that I nearly made it inside the Big Top. The Big Top, for those unfamiliar with the architecture of this Lambeth Conference, is the enormous blue circus tent that houses the main meetings. (I know, you couldn't make it up.)

My colleague Bert Tosh told me he had seen inside the tent, in the company of a primate who shall remain anonymous, so I chanced my hand again. Evening worship had just finished, and the tent was empty except for a few technical staff. So I walked inside the security barrier which surrounds the big circus tent, in the company of the good Dr Tosh, and casually dandered towards the open door. I got within thirty feet of the front door when security pounced. I suggested to the two security officers (suitably gender-balanced) that I might be escorted by them to the edge of the open tent door, just to have a quick ("10-second") look inside the Big Top. Alas, security staff told me there could be "no exceptions" and escorted me back to the temporary security barrier.

As we walked away, Bert Tosh lit his pipe and appeared to grin with some satisfaction. "I did tell you you wouldn't be allowed in," he said. "How did you get in?" I asked. His smile widened and the smoke plumed behind his head.

Afterwards, Bert and I had a very pleasant drink in the company of five Irish bishops and their spouses (and, yes, it's all off the record), and then returned to meet the indispensable John Benson who was finishing last-minute edits for tomorrow's programme. It's past 8 o'clock now and I think we're in pretty good shape for our special edition of Sunday Sequence at 8.30 am tomorrow. Our studio is in The Missing Link building, adjacent to Darwin College (our media base, pictured), which is about a hundred yards from the elusive Big Top.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    > His smile widened and the smoke plumed behind his head.

    Maybe he had an appropriate disguise. You should invest in a purple clerical shirt for these occasions!

  • Comment number 2.

    i am sorry that you did not make it to the big ten!

  • Comment number 3.

    What on earth do they need security for? Hysterical fans? Stalkers?

    GV

  • Comment number 4.

    Security must have been tight if your team haven't even managed a few pics of the Hallowed Blue Tent as a backdrop to your good self. (Or, perhaps these will be forthcoming at a later date??)

  • Comment number 5.

    Alan: I can't say I wasn't tempted to buy a discounted purple clerical shirt from the Market Place. But even then, everyone has a colour-coded photographic ID and even the bishops wearing clericals have to wear their IDs in order to enter the tent.

    Scybalous: I would provide a picture; but I left the cable at home. My colleague John Benson, our sound supervisor, has gone to get his. We'll try to get you a pic.

    gveale: A very good question.

    dennis: thanks for your sympathy; much appreciated!

  • Comment number 6.

    As long as the bishops weren't wandering around like bears in the big blue house ...

  • Comment number 7.

    So you felt badly because you couldn't get a ticket to get in to see the circus. A lot of kids with no money in their pockets once felt that way. I am surprised at your lack of enterprise and determination. Now if it had been me, I'd have gone to a costume shop and acquired the proper garb as some have suggested here. Certainly credentials could be faked. Failing that, I'd have disguised myself as a Catholic bishop who was sent as an emissary also with faked credentials. This should not have been too difficult. And you might even have gotten some help from Catholic clerics themselves so long as you promised you'd provide them with all of the details of what was going on inside. After all, how do you think the Catholic Church smuggled Nazis out of Europe and into South America after the second world war? Of course, the whole thing might have been far more trouble than it was worth. What went on inside anyway? Probably just a bunch of boring religious stuff.

  • Comment number 8.

    Mark:
    As your esteemed former President LBJ put it, it is better to be inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in, especially if you are posting all this boring Lambeth religious stuff on a blog or presenting it on the radio. Thank goodness, it's over. Perhaps we can get around to debating some real topics again.

    William: The moral is: smoke a pipe next time and look authoritative.

  • Comment number 9.

    Wow, no love lost between Brian and Will by the sound of it ...

    For what it's worth, Will ... I enjoyed the lambeth stuff. It's when humanists go on (and on and on and on) about Darwin, secularism and why we should all think like them ... that's when I get seriously bored.

  • Comment number 10.


    PTL..... you have a point.....


  • Comment number 11.

    JovialPTL:

    I was hardly blaming William for the Lambeth Conference or for the Sunday Sequence coverage. But it would be interesting to know if any other Ö÷²¥´óÐã regional radio station gave it as much coverage as Radio Ulster.

    BTW:
    Watching Dawkins tonight, it was shocking in this day and age the extent to which children at school learn so little about evolution and have been so brainwashed about creationism by religious people going on and on and on.

  • Comment number 12.

    Brian, that's a ridiculous comment. Radio 4 broadcast their entire programme from the conference on Sunday. This is a ten yearly event, so why shouldn't Sunday Sequence cover it? Anglicanism is the largest protestant church in Ireland. I know you are a humanist, but you really can't get angry when a religious affairs programme covers religion.

  • Comment number 13.

    JovialPTL:

    I referred to a REGIONAL Ö÷²¥´óÐã station. Radio 4 is national and can be heard in NI as anywhere else.

    For information, Presbyterianism is the largest Protestant sect in Northern Ireland. The C of I is the third largest Christian denomination.

    I shall tell you what I think is ridiculous and what makes me angry. Sunday Sequence advertises itself as a 'religion and ethics' programme and is the only Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI radio programme dealing with ethics. This gives religion a public monopoly on ethical matters which it doesn't deserve and which is a contradiction of the pluralist society in which we live.

  • Comment number 14.

    Brian-

    "I shall tell you what I think is ridiculous and what makes me angry. Sunday Sequence advertises itself as a 'religion and ethics' programme and is the only Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI radio programme dealing with ethics. This gives religion a public monopoly on ethical matters which it doesn't deserve and which is a contradiction of the pluralist society in which we live."

    NOW you have a point worth making. Of course religious ethics are a part of ethics, but I agree with you on this.

    I'd like to see Crawley host a nightly ethics program on Radio Ulster with guests and a phone-in segment: programmers at Ö÷²¥´óÐãNI take heed! It'd be a hell of a lot more successful than the current nightly lineup, which should be in the realm of commercial broadcasters, and it would take ethics to a new audience in the manner befitting of a "public service" broadcaster. All in favour say AYE

  • Comment number 15.

    AYE

  • Comment number 16.

    Aye, aye, sir.

  • Comment number 17.

    See, Ö÷²¥´óÐã? The people have spoken.

  • Comment number 18.

    Well - three of the people have spoken. Four if you count me.

    Could we ban politicians from the show?

    G Veale

  • Comment number 19.

    Brian I said that the church of ireland is the largest protestant denomination in IRELAND. It is.

  • Comment number 20.

    and religion and ethics is as far as i can see a Ö÷²¥´óÐã combination, with radio 4 also having a religion and ethics department, and wbsite.

  • Comment number 21.

    Jovial PTL:

    Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI is Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI, not Ö÷²¥´óÐã Ireland.
    In this context, the C of I is smaller is number than Presbyterians. This is a fact. On the same basis the Presbyterian General Assembly should be given at least comparable coverage.

    Frankly, I think the Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI coverage of the Lambeth Conference, whether or not it was from the Big Top, was definitely Over the Top.

    The Ö÷²¥´óÐã in Great Britain broadcasts ethics programmes divorced from religion. The Moral Maze is the obvious example. Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI doesn't.

  • Comment number 22.

    Brian you seem to think Ö÷²¥´óÐã NI shouldn't cover the bishops conference because the church of ireland is the second largest NI denomination. By that logic, no humanists should ever be allowed on any radio programmes, because there's about 20 of you.

  • Comment number 23.

    In fact Brian I think you're onto something. Let's ban humanists from all programmes until you get more than 1,000 members (about the size of a small catholic parish church). Deal?

  • Comment number 24.

    Jovial PTL:

    I didn't state that they shouldn't have covered it. You are misrepresenting what I said. I thought their coverage was excessive. There's a big difference.

    Also, the Humanist Association of Northern Ireland has 200 members and another 100 subscribers to its magazine. Since you are arguing on an island basis, I should also point out that it is also an all-Ireland journal, which covers another 400-500 people.

    Many people who are freethinkers are not joiners. The number who are neither Protestant nor Catholic in NI is about 200,000.

  • Comment number 25.

    Brian
    You are very optimistic about the
    200 000. I'd be overjoyed if they were all humanists or fre-thinkers. At least they'd believe truth and argument are important.
    The majority of Church members in Northern Ireland are nominal. What I tend to encounter is a sort of post modern "pick and mix" when I ask what people believe. I've known people who believe in reincarnation, an impersonal deity, miracles, and providence. That set of beliefs doesn't cohere at all. But to round the absurdity off, they'll insist on having their children baptised.
    At least the 300 aim at a consistent and true worldview. I think that should take precedence over a head count of Church members.

    Graham Veale

  • Comment number 26.

    Jovial
    I'm sorry to take issue with a fellow traveller, but I do take exception to the way the "Big Four" denominations throw their weight around in Northern Ireland. I've seen this as an RE teacher, and I don't like it.
    We have an RE syllabus in Northern Ireland, in which a student can reach the age of 18 without ever having asked the question - what is Religion? Atheism need not be studied - despite the success of Pullman's "Dark Materials", and the rise of New Atheism. I've mentioned this before, but it irks me that RE is treated as a compulsory Sunday School, and not an academic subject in it's own right.

    Graham Veale

  • Comment number 27.

    It's also worth remembering that it is thanks to Thomas Huxley that non-conformists can attend Oxbridge. That means that I owe Free-thinkers some sort of gratitude.

    GV

  • Comment number 28.

    I wrote a reply but this damned comments system won't accept it.

    See .

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