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I'm probably not the person to ask.










happily divorced git

What makes a Marriage Work?

1) The male's ability to record and repeat the sequence of sounds that his wife makes when she is attempting to "communicate". It is essential that the male be able to repeat accurately the long sequence of sounds that precede the female's question "Have you been listening to a word I said?" (Do not correct her grammar)

2) The males ability to repeat that seqence of sounds without gaining any knowledge or understanding of their meaning or significance.

3) The male's ability to lip read whatever is on television whenever his wide is attempting to communicate

4) The male will often be "insensitive". It is important that the male realise that the dictionary definition of this word, and the wider cultural meaning of this word, bears no connection to the female "meaning" of this word. Like a Divine Command the female is simply defining the male as "in the wrong". There is no court of appeal. Other females will agree with your wife, and your male friends are more confused than you are.

5) Once a male is deemed insensitive an act of expiation is necessary. At all times the male musthave a box of expensive chocolates hidden nearby (and possibly some jewellery). It is impossible for the male to predict when he will next be "insensitive", so he must be ready to make an act of expiation at all times.

6) Once married the male must describe the attractiveness of other women to his wife in inverse proportions to the degree to which the woman is actually attractive.

7) No, her bum does not look big in that.

8) No, she is not listening when you tell her that her bum does not look big in that. The male must realise that the laws of geometry and physics do not apply to the female posterior. The male may only safely answer in relative terms - her best friends bum looks much worse.

9) But you only noticed because her best friend looked terrible in that dress

10) Above all, never give advice like this in a public forum where your wife can discover it, unless you are wise enough to use a pseudonym.

Somehow I knew Scotch-git would get in ahead of me

Wear four pairs of shoes - throughout the day wear your own shoes but every now again during the day put your partners shoes on and then adjust your thoughts/actions before you put your own shoes back on!! Golden oldies...never go 2 bed on an arguement...probably not very pc - but try and make sure your closest friends and neighbours have basically the same relationship standards as you,ditch any unnecessary negative comments, verbalize positive comments,make sure you have some quality time,still think your partners sexy no matter how much they have changed,dont let your appearance fall to much of your own personal richter scale,work on your own personal happiness,dont compare your family life with anyones else especially if it seems that they have more money & fun than u(and again not very pc but if you have an envy issue with someone that u really cant get over u need to ditch them)...and u could go on and on...not that i'm a life expert -

What makes a marriage work is apparently not the fundie protestant belief in god. The US bible belt leads the nation in divorce rates:

Much as I appreciate some of Graham's humour, one of my big problems with this topic is that we have stopped teaching young people about marriage and its benefits, for fear of offending those whose parents are not married.

Of course, we are aware that not all marriages are happy, and - yes, Peter - even Christian marriages can break up too.

But we have stopped treating Marriage as the norm, and the consequences of this have been disastrous - for individuals, for families and for society. (And even if people are minded to reject the moral argument, just consider the millions of pounds of public money spent because of marriage and family break up.) I think it is time we began to be honest about this crucial issue.

(I know I am striking a fairly serious note, when most of the other comments have been light hearted - rest assured that, as a minister, I know and enjoy many jokes about 'the battle of the sexes'! Perhaps I'll get to share a few before this thread runs out of steam!)

However,to conclude on a serious thought: 'The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother' That principle would certainly help to keep a marriage together, don't you think?

Pastor Philip

Only *some* of my humour? Tough crowd!
On the stats that PK cites - "residence in the Bible Belt" doesn't seem to be a helpful reference class. That just brushes over socio-economic differences, cultural differences, gender sterotypes etc. Oddly enough, sociologists have looked into the data a little more deeply. Work by Wilcox et al uncovered something surprising, that I think repays careful reflection.
If there is regular Church attendance, or a deeper affiliation to a Church, relationships tend to be more stable, with less conflict than secular comparisons. (Generally, if a couple attends more than twice a week, it counts as a strong affiliation).
However - and here's the crunch - if there is only sporadic Church attendance, and minimal affiliation to a conservative Church, rates of spousal abuse and divorce *increase*! So if you identify yourself as "Baptist", but you attend rarely and have no time/effort commited to that Church, you are *more* likely to engage in spousal abuse, or leave your partner, than a secular counterpart (someone with no religious or denominational affiliation).
So conservative Protestant Churches do a great job of "preaching to the choir"...there seem to be measureable benefits. We actually seem to make things worse for those with a nominal commitment to Conservative Protestant churches.

GV