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26 Jun 07, 10:23 PM - Thoughts on Music. Not featuring the Spasticus Autisticus guy.

Posted by Nicola

There鈥檚 not much of a space for the disabled person in pop music. I鈥檓 not talking about the usual problem of our perceived asexuality versus pop鈥檚 image obsessed industry, that鈥檚 peanuts. I鈥檓 thinking more along the lines of technicalities. For example, Justin Timberlake says he鈥檚 鈥榞onna have you naked by the end of this song鈥 apparently. According to my MP3 playing device, the song in question (2003鈥檚 Rock Your Body, no I鈥檓 not ashamed) lasts four minutes and twenty nine seconds.

Not far short of the average Social Services care allocation then, but still problematic. I for one spend 5 minutes removing my socks it seems like, more if there鈥檚 something good on the telly to divert my attention. I can then spend indeterminate amounts of time wondering why I don鈥檛 cut my losses and wear alternating ponchos.

Here then are a few choice song lyrics I picked out:

Men Without Hats 鈥 The Safety Dance

鈥淲e can dance if we want to鈥

No. No we can鈥檛. At least, not with everyone else down front, it鈥檚 a fire safety risk. If you dance on the wheelchair viewing platform you risk jolting people with spinal injuries, and that鈥檚 just not rock and roll. (I mean that seriously actually I saw a big argument about it. People cried)

Belle & Sebastian 鈥 The Model

鈥淪he met another blind kid at a fancy dress, it was the best sex she ever had鈥

I always suspected those dudes were good at stuff other than presenting radio.

Belle & Sebastian 鈥 The State That I鈥檓 In

鈥淚 was moved to kick the crutches from my crippled friend.鈥

Charming.

Buck 65 鈥 The Centaur

I don鈥檛 have a quote for this, I just figured Centaurs would be disabled. Filling out the Transport For London Journey Planner requirements: I cannot use stairs; I cannot use escalators; I am part horse.

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At 10:45 PM on 26 Jun 2007, Marky wrote:

oh nicola, can i marry you? please? its just that not only do you have an eighties classic on your mp3 player alongside belle & sebastian, but you've also spotted the sometimes rather charmless disablist tone of b&s song lyrics! i have a whole thesis planned on this subject. when i say a whole thesis, i mean that i have noted the same songs as you. but y'know, i'm sure there're more. mmm.

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At 10:40 AM on 28 Jun 2007, wrote:

It's probably worth pointing out - for anyone who didn't already know - that the guy behind 'Spasticus Autisticus', Ian Dury, was a polio sufferer and the song was something along the lines of a parody of himself, society and of course the film Spartacus, notably when Ian shouts 'I Am Spasticus'.

Although to be fair, Ian never was one for worrying about not offending people, what with having songs about stealing porn mags (Razzle in my pocket) and so on...

Just thought I'd mention it in case people were thinking that the person behind Spasticus Autisticus must have been someone campaigning for disabled people to be lined up and shot, or similar...

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At 12:16 PM on 28 Jun 2007, wrote:

Yeah, Belle & Sebastian may kick the crutches from their crippled friend, but whenever I sing that song out loud, someone inevitably says "really? with THOSE midget legs??"

There's an Aussie band called The Spazzy's, who are great, but not appropriately named unfortunately. Not a wheelchair or limp amongst 'em. Can I still like them despite their blatently disablist name?

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At 12:51 PM on 28 Jun 2007, Nicola wrote:

Jack, thankyou, that probably needed doing.

Random Fact: Tanya of the I Hate Music blog objected to spasticus on the grounds that, among other things, "Dury had neither autism nor multiple sclerosis"

eh? you may hate music lady but you know sod all about impairment slang.

marky...what can i say... i'm reasonably sure their singer is or was disabled in some shape or form. i can say that.

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