主播大秀

• Posted by Nicola
• 1 Jul 07, 5:08 PM

This is lifted from Turtle's Page of Joy, August 2005, expanded and minus expletives to use on Ouch. If you're wondering why I'm rehashing a two year old blog, it's because I wanted to address the subject and what I said back then, I feel, was my own perspective in a nutshell. The reasons behind the thinking here are a bit longer and I should go into them at a later date. It is a bit cheeky but what can I say, recycling is in.

I guess the only thing I would say now is, we deserve more than euphemisms and sugarcoating. There's no use putting the 'person first' if you know full well the only change you've incited is grammatical... we are disabled people. That is as much about physical environment, prejudice and ingrained attitudes as it is about the state of our bodies or minds. That is my belief. On Sunday the 1st of July 2007 at seven minutes past five in the evening.

Here goes:

'Person With A Disability'

You go round chained to something that inhibits your everyday life, preferably with furry handcuffs. You point and shout at this thing intermittently but it doesn't go away. This thing could be Chris Moyles. If your muscles can't handle that burden, I'm right ahead of you Sistah. Try a large, steep flight of stairs, sticky with WKD and splattered with chav vomit.

'Differently Abled'

You can shoot milk through your nose. Or something. All those of you who walk a bit weird, like, aren't differently abled, you're rubbishly abled until someone SORTS THE PAVEMENTS.

'You're a person first...'

B-b-b-but no-one asked me if I wanted to be Klingon.

Special

Now you know I'm not going to argue with that. I only had my knees messed up so I got the front seat of the people carrier on the school run every day...

In Your Situation...*invariably trails off*

Would that be my situation right at this moment? Jaded and sloshing with the diet coke and three ice cream sandwiches I ate in one sitting because my PA broke my freezer?

See the Person
Yeah so long as you see the wheelchair giant shiny wheelchair under my backside too, those things are mighty painful if you trip over them. If you can't see it I assume you have differently abled eyes...

Handicapped

You are a horse.

This is the second time i've signed off a post with the word 'horse.' It went down rather well last time...

• Permalink
• Comments

< Previous Main Next >