Doors
- 9 Aug 07, 12:02 PM
Being bipolar, I have a problem with doors.
Hypomanic and in a bit of a rush, I walked into the revolving door of a building only to completely lose my sense of direction and walk right back out again. I didn鈥檛 really want to go in, honest.
When in hospital, although it was an open ward, I was locked in. Every time I approached the door to breathe in fresh air and escape from the smog, the health care assistant on the door seemed to magically disappear in a puff of smoke so that I couldn鈥檛 get out. I was locked out of the ward for the same reason (so they didn鈥檛 really want me in there then?).
Car doors can be a problem. When manic I have been known to jump into strangers' cars and expect them to give me a guided tour of the town where I live as if I am Royalty. Equally, if the car door does not have the child lock on, there is a risk that I will open it and fall out.
My front door at home is one of those where you have to remember to turn the key in the lock on the inside or outside to lock it. When I have been hypomanic I have forgotten to do this and left the door unlocked (that鈥檚 not an invitation to come round and burgle me).
At work, I have to remember to take in seven keys/passes every day to various doors, buildings, drawers and cabinets. All very well if you can remember which jacket pocket you鈥檝e put them in. Perhaps I should invest in a trendy new handbag instead with seven pockets to put them in?
And not related to bipolar disorder: I tried to walk through a set of glass sliding doors once. It wasn鈥檛 like I thought I was Jesus Christ or anything, I just didn鈥檛 see it. Fortunately, I got away with just a bump on the head.
But what makes me really angry is the doors that have been slammed in my face by employers. In a previous life (1876, 1879), if an employer has found out about my bipolar disorder, they have degenerated into acute paranoia mode. They have made assumptions about what I can and can鈥檛 do, restricted my training and career development, continuously over-monitored me, as if I鈥檓 a threat to others in the office (I wouldn鈥檛 harm a fluffy bunny rabbit), and basically tried to wash their hands of me as quickly as possible.
Likewise, getting a job can be difficult, as due to my bipolar disorder I have had to start again many times. This means that I have so many skills, qualifications and contrasting work experience that I can鈥檛 fit them all on my CV and I just don鈥檛 fit the classic job description and employee specification for most jobs. Unfortunately, most employers just don鈥檛 have the foresight to make reasonable adjustments to their recruitment procedures in order to consider the added value that this can bring to the role or their organisation.
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