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But using the right terminology isn't being "PC". It's just respectful common sense.

I think part of the problem is that the terms which are seen as while I would tend to use the term "disabled" / "with a disability", I'm sure I remember as a child that the term "handicapped" was used by some people AS the PC term.

To me as a non-disabled person (disability-challenged, right?) I would have thought that the term "handicapped" fits well with the social model of disability, as long as you add "by society" on the end.

I understand that people find the word 'handicapped' offensive, and therefore I don't use it, but I must admit I don't understand why the term ITSELF is offensive (I can only presume it carries a weight in a social-historical context?)

But I'm with you on 'retard'.

Incidentally, have you seen Damon Rose's 2004 article ? It doesn't quite answer the question to my satisfaction (because to me 'disabled' would appear similar to the answer he gives) but it might help you find that ammo...

If your friend is serious about educating himself, then one enlightening web site to look at is:

Not really specific to LANGUAGE issues per se, but should give a different insight into people who have commonly been labeled "retard" (in this case, an autistic woman). But you do have to set aside a full half hour to read it because if you quit mid-way through then you'll miss the whole point. It's deliberately set up to seem AS IF it is written by some anti-autism group about a supposedly "pitable" autistic woman, but is actually written and photographed by the autistic woman herself; in the second half, she explains what's wrong with the presentation in the first half.

By the same author, see this video "Being an Unperson" at and also "In my language" I believe at least one of them touches on the word "retard." "In my Language" is the more well-known video because it was featured on CNN at one point, but I think "Being an Unperson" is at least as powerful.

Don't disabled people go into schools these days, to talk at Assembly or whatever? When I was in primary school I remember a local blind man coming in - although I mainly remember because of his lovely guide dog - but it was still informative.

I think it depends on what you're used to and how a thing is meant, really. When I moved to England from the U.S., I was surprised to find that "handicapped" is considered offensive, and I am handicapped ... except I usually call it disabled now. In the U.S., the "Blue Badge" is called a handicapped placard, the parking spots with the blue picture of a wheelchair are called the handicapped parking spaces. I have gotten into the habit of saying disabled, but only since I've moved here. The more I get used to it, the more right it sounds. But whose issue is that? Meaning, I don't think I'd have a right to tell someone off for saying "handicapped" just because *I* think disabled is a better term. People who say handicapped certainly aren't trying to be rude, and I don't think the term is such that one would automatically know it's considered bad form by some to use it.

uhm...a handicap is something that a golfer gets. Or a weight added to a really good race horse. Both these things signify wealth, power, and a whole lot of leisure time. If you have a disability and are wealthy, powerful, and have leisure time to partake in such activities....good on you. If not, welcome to real life. It can be hard enough, disability or not, we don't need handicaps to even the playing field

I think, to be fair, it's a little hard for people outside of the community to keep up with the terminology of every group and concern. So long as they aren't intending to be insulting, give them a break and point them gently in the right direction - if you know it.

There's still a debate going on in the Autistic community between the 'we're people with autism' group and the 'we're autistic people' group. If we can't make up our minds, what chance has anyone else got?

I think the word 'handicapped' is derived from 'cap-in-hand', a term used in Victorian times to describe disabled beggers who usually had their cap in hand. These people were seen as the 'lowest of the low'and would eke out a living by begging. We have moved on - but by how much?

I think schools should have someone with a disability giving talks to school children and learn how to socialise with people who have disabilities. Teachers just think they know what they are talking about instead of getting a person in who is disabled. I hate the word 'SPECIAL NEEDS' it's so patronising and we're not special, we don't have magical powers, so why call us SPECIAL NEEDS?

Perhaps if diabled young people went to mainstream schools when possible, they wouldn't be seen as different, in my area it rarely happens. I think the attitude and personality of young people would benefit greatly by sharing their education with disabled young people. I understand it not appropriate in all cases, but some, at least.

Personally I'm more concerned with how people treat me than what they call me....as long as it's not 'boring' :P

Fran, I went to a mainstream school and I have to say it hasn't done a lot for people's perceptions of disability from where I'm sitting.