Ö÷²¥´óÐã

Eddie Rice is a contributor to the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland programme The Story of Scottish Men, part of the Men Like Us series.

I'm Eddie Rice, a 48 year old construction worker from Helensburgh. A father, grandfather, brother, son and husband. I regard myself as an everyday guy who isn't going to write a bestseller or do anything extraordinary. But I am unusual in that a few years ago I, along with my friend , ran a men's group in Glasgow, which for me became a defining moment in my life.

I was born into a very working class family; both my parents were employed, my father working in construction or sometimes in the shipyards, my mother worked for a time in the Singer sewing machine factory in Clydebank and for a number of years worked as a conductress on the buses. As a result of both parents being in full time employment I became very independent at an early age, being able to follow recipes from Women's Own from about age nine or ten.

So, what does my past say about me and the man I have become, well that's where the men's group came in. Here I was in the company of lecturers, Social Work Managers and the like talking about how it felt to be a man. Not the football stuff but real stuff of what makes us who we are, our emotions and feelings. Even our prejudices and our failings as men. Wow what a journey we went on and I suppose through the things I learnt about myself at the group that journey is on-going and helping me deal with new issues today.
It wasn't a right-on or political correct gathering, we weren't 'new men' or 'anti-sexist men'. We were just men trying to explore, define and take responsibility for what it means to be a man. I suppose this experience was a real turning point for me in my life, as I think it was for the other men. I gained insights into my strengths and weaknesses, my passions and beliefs, how I was no better or no worse than all these middle class men, but how I could sometimes box myself into a corner when I became blinkered or sure I was right.

It changed lots of things in my life. There is my friendship with Gerry. We do lots of boys' things, go to football and engage in bloke-ish discussions, but there is a depth, understanding and honesty missing from most male friendships. Then there is my relationship with my wife Isobel which is nearly 30 years old, and has been through many ups and downs, like most people, but which has been aided by myself knowing more about myself, and also that the world isn't just about me and my needs. This all adds up to a rich experience that I am very grateful to have had the courage to take.