Ö÷²¥´óÐã

Take a look at the MacAulay and Co. What's on guide and listen to the clip from the show featuring your suggestions, including Charlie Reid of The Proclaimers with his highlight for the weekend. For more events in your area, visit the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Things to Do website.

30 September - 16 October

Now in its auchteenth year, The Doric Festival is unique in its involvement of local communities across the North-east in celebrating our language, music and traditions.

01 - 02 October

The model railway will be open at Bo'ness and the Scottish Railway Exhibition will be open with diesel locomotives on show along with the two large halls of locos, wagons and other railway related items as well as a railway themed activity area for children.

01 - 02 October

A celebration of Highland and Moray fishing heritage and ganseys - the beautifully crafted, patterned sweaters traditionally worn by fishermen. Hear about the women who knitted them, the men who wore them, and the creative ways in which traditional skills and patterns are being developed and applied in fashion today.

02 October

Discover how fairy rings are made, how mushrooms get their spots and what stinkhorns smell like on a fungi treasure hunt with visiting countryside ranger Sam Ranscombe from Bowhill Country Estate.

02 October 2011

Nearly 10,000 runners of all abilities will take to Edinburgh's historic streets this Sunday for the Great Edinburgh Run 2011.

FRIDAY 30th SEPTEMBER

CONCERT
Galashiels - Shoe Zone, Galashiels - The Border and Strathspey and Reel Society - 7.00pm

SATURDAY 1st OCTOBER

CLASS
Dundee, Wighton Centre, Dundee Wellgate Library - Harp - 2pm

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING
Elgin - Bishopmill Hall - Marian Anderson - 8pm

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Do you know your own country? For example the producer has compiled the following questions for you to answer:

• At which battle did Wallace and Moray defeat the Earl of Surrey and Hugh de Cressingham?

• What did Sir David Brewster from Jedburgh invent that children play with today?

• What's the best programme on Radio Scotland?*

This week MSPs debated the government's plan for a specific school subject of Scottish studies arguing that not enough of us know about our history, culture, politics and life in general. When it was first proposed in early summer there were moans about nationalist brainwashing of our young which disappeared yesterday in the chamber. Presumably it would be hard to claim that teaching pupils about their own country was indoctrination when, for example, Labour is taking airtime to tell us the party really is Scottish, don't you know.

On the programme we wonder what we are teaching our kids as the British obsession with the Nazis rages on in film, documentary, video games and the internet. We simply cannot see the modern Germany and the modern German without a fog of uniforms and swastikas. What is wrong with us? We discuss.

We find out how Scotland would defend itself if it were independent... one of the questions opponents have been asking the SNP. Perhaps Michael Moore will be listening when I speak to a former Lieutenant Colonel who will take on the role of GOC Scotland (Provisional) at Newsweek's request and will tell us what we need to keep ourselves safe.

We're in Saudi Arabia where they're finally getting around to giving women the vote... and ten lashes if they're found guilty of the heinous offence of driving a car.

And our coup this week is the first broadcast debate among the Scottish Tory leadership candidates. Not only have we got all four live on the programme, but I even know all their names! Hear them tomorrow at 8.

*If you said the Battle of Stirling Bridge and the kaleidoscope, you are right. If you said Newsweek to the third, thanks but the correct answer is Take the Floor with Robbie Shepherd! (tomorrow at 7pm)

The picture that's most used of me on Another Country links is one taken around 18 months ago. It is a cropped shot of me edited from a wider photograph taken in the corridor after the first visit to the AC of Richmond Fontaine. I'm only guessing but I suspect the reason that Alan (Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland's web maestro) and Richard chose it is because I'm looking so damned happy.

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Our opening debate on the Culture Café this week was a bit close to home - when should women go grey and is it becoming more fashionable/acceptable to have silver hair? As a brunette of a certain age, I am a slave to the rhythm of the dyeing rota. Every two weeks (or is it ten days?) I spot the first ominous stalks of grey peaking through. They scream out of my dark barnet and cannot be ignored or else I risk looking like a skunk. I love it when it's coloured and under control again but it is a real tyranny. It's time consuming (you load it on for around 30/40 minutes looking for all the world like a cow has just defecated on your skull and then you have to rinse.. and rinse... and rinse....zzzzz... till the water runs clear.) Then there's the collateral damage to consider because white towels are a no-no. And, no matter how fastidious you think your dye application is, you will always find a stray darkish streak on your clothes, the floor/sink etc. Oh and I haven't even mentioned the cost of keeping your colour vibrant; it's almost a re-mortgage job every time I book to get it done professionally. That might explain why it's been a year since I last had my colour done at a salon. Sad but true, once you start fighting the ageing process, you have to keep up. the chic fashion commentator we had on the show is a great role model. Her hair is grey but only partially. She sports an artfully dramatic slash of grey at the front that looks as if it's been designed for maximum effect. I believe it's an entirely natural phenomenon - lucky woman.

Men have it so much easier - a fact acknowledged by our other greying guest, journalist . Frankly grey for them equals distinguished. Bald? No problemo either- being a slap head is cool these days with many young guys opting for the "prisoner" buzz-cut look. In fact there are really only two ways a man can get his hair wrong: opting for the much derided mullet, or sporting a Barry Gibb/ Robbie Savage bouffant "do". Womankind has the rough end of the deal.. so for the time being, I'll continue to fight the grey encroachment every fortnight. It's turning into a bigger commitment than having a dog.

With that bitter thought at the back of my mind, I boarded a train bound for Inverness after Tuesday's show. Kitchen Café host Pennie Latin had the audacity to take time off so I was asked to stand in. This is a positive development because I am a greedy food obsessed soul (when I'm not dyeing my hair!) I hadn't been up to Inverness for ages so imagine my joy when I managed to combine catching up with an old friend and eating out in a wonderful riverside fish restaurant. One broken glass and a full stomach later, I trotted off to my hotel to engage in a battle with the alternately boiling/ freezing shower in my bijou bathroom before quite literally throwing in the towel. Next morning when I awoke, the sun was splitting the skies and I couldn't help but think that someone had been keeping Inverness a secret for too long! It is a truly beautiful place and I drank it all in on my short walk to the office. There's that sparkling jewel of a river, the surrounding countryside, the castle, a host of quirky restaurants (including a Jamaican establishment - Cool Runnings?) and the charity shop where I did a double take; sitting in the window, a green, severed T-Rex head. Sure makes a change from charging into Pacific Quay in the car and seeing everything as a grey blur. I'm definitely up for going back North - early November's my next scheduled date. I'll have just missed Halloween which is a pity. I know exactly where to lay hands on a decent dinosaur head.

I thought it was about time we updated our list of Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland twitter accounts for you...

You can on Twitter.

• (formerly The Radio Cafe)

The following presenters also have Twitter accounts on which they talk about their radio shows:

Finally these other Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland twitter accounts might be of use too:

If you're unsure about how to use Twitter, then there are quite a few websites giving tips, for example:

Falling asleep in inappropriate places was the TM Show theme on Wednesday. These two tales range form the weird and hilarious to the tragic and very moving:

Please don't mention my name or I'll be frowned right out the family door...

A good few years ago, on the way home from a rather boisterous night out in Glasgow, I alighted the last train at Croy and wobbled my way back to Kilsyth just as heavy snow started to fall. On the way I thought it a good idea to pop into the cemetery and say hello to some favourite past family members, one of whom shares his name with me. With no recollection of how I managed to finally get home, I rose the next morning with a very woolly head and vague memories of a dreadful nightmare in which I was lying very cold in a grave looking up at my own tombstone! I took my hangover and a can of Irn Bru out for a walk in the freshly fallen snow and stopped in by the cemetery, where after following some very wavy footprints in the snow came across the perfect outline of a body in the snow, sprawled across the family plot...

...and this from Robert in Orkney:

I am currently typing my Grandfather's diaries for 1917 and found somewhere not to fall asleep. He was a stretcher bearer at Ypres :

Thursday, 20th September

Heavy barrage started at 6 o'clock. Cases soon began to come down. C. Brenton got killed, 3 wounded, carried over canal. Last case just at dark. Then found a better 'ole to sleep.

Friday, 21st September

Had a good sleep in rain and mud. Carried in 2's. Got good rations after missing breakfast. Had many narrow escapes.

The Tom Morton Show Mon-Thurs 1430-1600, Fri 1400-1600.

We've been busy adding some of the 2011 archive of The Jazz House Pocket Legends to their web pages.

You can now hear Stephen Duffy paying tribute to some of the jazz greats including:

Benny Golson
Blossom Dearie
Chris Barber
Dame Cleo Laine
Earl Hines
George Chisholm
Sir George Shearing
Joe Morello
Kenny Baker
Michael Brecker
Nat King Cole
Snooky Young

Unfortunately, for copyright reasons, we are only able to include excerpts of the music played during the features.

You can hear The Jazz House every Wednesday, 2005-2200.

On this week's Kitchen Cafe there's not one, not two but three recipes to download and keep!

They come from chef Steven Devlin and are as follows:

Baked cod with peppers and chorizo

Lemon sole milanese

Tuna and mango salad

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400

One day they'll give me the chance to make a radio series about members of the community of musicians and artists who are, for many, a touch off-piste but who nevertheless have made magical contributions to music culture. I alluded to this in a recent blog on Capercaillie and have warmed to the subject again this past week or so, with a somewhat heavy heart.

Let me digress for a moment. A small but perfectly enthusiastic incarnation of my recently guested at the Ceol's Craic event at CCA in Glasgow. During sound-check I glanced out and there in the corner, making the International Sign for "I feel and can demonstrate emotion" (fanning one's eyes with two rapidly flapping hands, the better to dry emerging tears), was my old friend Jerry Burns, just in from a sophisticated and doubtless enigmatic European City. After catching up on some tears and years of nonsense, talk fell to someone who was once very important to both of us, the artist Bobby Henry of Coatbridge, Lanarkshire.

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The SNP dream was always to take Scotland's seat at the UN between Saudi Arabia and Senegal... now there's an oil-producing troika for you. It certainly seems unlikely that an independent Scotland, should there be one, would be blocked from membership - unless England objects! So why is there such a panicked reaction to Palestinian claims for their state to be recognised? Well, it seems it is too dangerous and there is no shortcut to independence, according to President Obama. You can say that again, Alex Salmond might say.

No, the only route for the Palestinians is in bilateral talks with Israel, meaning that Tel Aviv has a veto over Palestine. Not the UN... but Israel. In fact there is no question that Israel controls virtually every aspect of life around the West Bank and Gaza as a businessman was writing in the Times this week. He is a Palestinian American who started businesses in the West Bank in anticipation of peace and a new state. He describes how Israeli restrictions limited the growth of the business. They control the borders, the supply of all goods and services and even the airport. After decades of this treatment and failed talks after failed talks, you can see why the Palestinian leadership is seizing the initiative now as the Arab Spring brings a new wave of optimism. But why is this dangerous? We'll discuss.

The Nats got a fair old ear-bashing at the Lib Dem conference. Not surprising really since the Nats gave them a vote-bashing in May. How is all this London-based propaganda going down? Is it making the Scots think twice or encouraging them to circle the wagons? And, as part of our regular referendum watch, we look at and John Swinney's budget.

We look at the offshore market in PFI contracts. Eh? Well some of these deals struck by Labour are so lucrative that there is a trade in them and private equity firms buy and sell them and take them offshore where they pay no tax. Some contracts for hospitals have changed hands up to 10 times. Shurely some Mishtake? No. It's all true according to our expert.

We're in Italy where the reputation of the economy is nearly as bad as that of the Prime Minister... only joking. Nothing can be that bad. Mr Berlusconi has more lurid claims against him. No woman in Italy is safe!

And we give a media trial to trial by media. What's to be done about reporters who blacken your name without the facts.

You know, if a new Scotland was called Caledonia it would sit between Burundi and Cambodia. It would be between Paraguay and Peru if it was the Peoples Republic of Scotland. If - and this is my favourite - it was called Salmondia, it would sit between St Vincent and the Grenadines and Samoa. But if it was Alba, it would be second on the list after Afghanistan and just ahead of Albania. Yes, I can hear Jim Murphy say, in more ways than one.....

Join me tomorrow at 8.

Here's the MacAulay and Co. Friday events guide, and we've included a clip from the programme featuring some of the things Fred's listeners are getting up to this weekend. To search for more events in your area, visit the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Things to Do website.

24 September

Fun for families with children interested in all things archaeology-related. Kids get to examine real archaeological objects and try out fun activities.

24 September

Learn how to create prints using the simple screen-print process that Warhol used to make his famous portraits of 'Marilyn', 'Elvis', 'Liz' and 'Jackie'. Bring a selection of your favourite pop-idol or family photos to work from.

24 - 25 September

Come along and view the completed restoration work to the platform and see the plans for future restoration work.

24 - 25 September

An open lab held quarterly, incorporating sewing machines and studio space for people to come together, share knowledge and make things.

24 - 25 September

Final weekend of Doors Open Days, giving you free access to hundreds of fascinating buildings across Scotland.

FRIDAY 23rd SEPTEMBER

CONCERT
Bogbain of Inshes, Inverness - Bogbain Farm - Ewan McLennan

SATURDAY 24th SEPTEMBER

CONCERT
Aberdeen - Queen's Cross Church - Paul Anderson and Shona Donaldson

CLASS
Dundee, Wighton Centre, Dundee Wellgate Library - Harp - 2pm

Kirriemuir - Kirriemuir Old Parish Church - Folk singing workshop with Alison Burns

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING
Elgin - Bishopmill Hall - Marian Anderson - 8pm

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Tonight we are going to spend a lot of time in the company of these men.......

The Avett Brothers in Studio 1, Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland, for Another Country with Ricky Ross. 2010

Inspired by the poor (or perhaps not so poor) soul who drove his , we were talking on Wednesday about expensive mishaps. Inspiring Pete McDougall to get in touch. Impossible to resist any communication which begins, "when I was a tree surgeon..."

When I was a tree surgeon I used to carry out under line tree clearance for the electricity board. One day at we were pulling over trees at the top the deep gorge of the river Esk using the winch on my six wheel drive landrover forward control truck.

All well and good until whilst standing at the side of the landrover operating the winch controls I noticed the landrover was moving rather than the tree, yes, someone had forgotten to deploy the ground anchor, it was all I could do but watch as the landrover head slowly towards the edge and tip over into the gorge. Miraculously it survived and ended up sitting on its wheels in the river still running. Only the brakes had been ripped out so we drove it up the river and winched it out. Driving it home without brakes was a bit scary though!

The Tom Morton Show is Monday-Thursday from 1430-1600 and Friday from 1405

Here's a recipe from The Kitchen Cafe by Lady Claire MacDonald to be downloaded, kept and printed.

Download the recipe.

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400

I've never been lucky enough to study the classics but I know a few of the big names from antiquity. Of course, I'd heard of Achilles (with the dodgy heel) but as for Patroclus, nah. A shame really as he's got quite a story to tell, so luckily for us at the Book Café, he's just been given some exposure in a novel by an American academic and debut novelist. 's book THE SONG OF ACHILLES shows us the tender side of the demigod warrior because the story is narrated by his lover, . As you might expect with such an epic tale, it took a bit of time to write this book - ten years! But it was time well spent.. it's clever but not to the point that it becomes dry and dusty - there's plenty of action and passion. I don't think I've read a more affecting description of young love as the one where and Patroclus have their first kiss on a beach. No smut, no prurience, just beautiful uplifting prose.

From prose to clothes on the Culture Café - we entered the world of the teen shopper. We've noticed that a fair few of them are shopping in the high end American preppy type stores these days, where you can expect to pay around seventy quid for a humble hoodie. The catalogues are beautifully photographed and produced, showing sepia tinted images of fresh faced, attractive young guys and girls. But the interesting thing is how these brands are recruiting staff from the ranks of the shoppers. Nothing too new in that, but there are concerns about the way they go about it.

Expert in fashion retail, Neil Tower defended marketing techniques up to a point but even he sounded surprised when he listened to our report from Glasgow's teenagers. He said targeting this age group with phone calls and face to face invitations to join the staff was "unethical". Let's be clear though, the teenagers we spoke to were more than happy to be approached. They love the idea of being invited in to some special clique populated by good looking youngsters. There's no doubt these stores are popular and the merchandise can be extremely alluring but is it right to ask young kids on facebook if they want a job? I know from experience that fifteen year olds have been spotted in the shops and asked face to face, if they want to work - aren't they too young? Even if they "appear" older, perhaps its best to check first before jumping in with the recruitment pitch.

With my head still whirling in the aftermath of that discussion between Neil Tower and fomer head teacher and education writer Sue Palmer, I was pitched into a conversation about Saturday night tv. It's an alien concept to me.. I like to do other things.. mainly eating and drinking, blimey, even grooming the dog's more fun. But even I can't deny the mass appeal of and Strictly. I don't think I meant to "out " myself as a reality tv hater but that's what I am. Some shows are better than others (as our discussion with tv reviewer Helen Stewart and Dr John Cook showed) I'm really uncomfortable about watching lamentable performances filmed infront of millions of viewers. Thank heavens for radio.. any of MY lamentable performances can be heard, but not seen!

Nick Dempsey wrote a blog last week introducing the new Ricky Ross Music Showcase which features interviews and videos from both Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland and Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland in the americana, country, singer-songwriter, rock and pop genres.

Sitting alongside that collection is the Mary Ann Kennedy Music Showcase. Mary Ann's has music from the world, folk, jazz and classical genres.

Currently you can view some of the video highlights from the 2011 Dundee Proms, featuring Fran Healy, Alfie Boe and Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland's Young Folk Musician of the Year, Kristan Harvey.

There's also session music from Eddi Reader, Martin Taylor and Baaba Maal, interviews with Billy Connolly, Mary Black and James Grant, plus excerpts from the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland produced series Talking Music, The Celtic Connections Festival and The Young Scottish Jazz Musician of the Year.

We'll be updating these collections every week with both new and archived content from Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland / Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland.

If there's anything you'd like to hear/see again please let us know below and we'll endeavour to make it available again if possible.

My telly broke down this week. I think the satellite dish on the roof was affected by the storms. The upshot is no , no , no rugby world cup and...worst of all....No CBeebies. We've been watching the Aristocats and, so help me, Pollyanna, on DVD. But the good bit is I'm reading more in the evenings and finished a whole book in three nights. And, no, it wasn't The Gruffalo.

I've also been reading Alex Kemp's history of the North Sea (oil and gas) and it gives an insight into how government works. You'll be surprised to hear the instincts in Whitehall were to keep it all to themselves and play down it's beneficial effects on Scotland and to try to screw a miserly deal out of Shetland. Sir Humphry was truer than we'll ever know. I'll ask the man who drew up the slogan: It's Scotland's Oil what he thinks. Gordon Wilson and I crossed swords (or dirks) in the 1980s when he was SNP leader and we clash again the morning.

Why are the Chinese debriefing our Information Commissioner Kevin Dunion? It sounds like a spy thriller from my Kindle. He tells us what Beijing are up to. We think they're deeply secretive so we were surprised they want to know what he does.

We deal with Russia and Turkey and rogue traders. (But not rogue broadcasters). I'm going home to listen to the wireless while looking at a blank screen. I'll break this telly habit yet. Join me tomorrow at 8.

FRIDAY 16th SEPTEMBER

CONCERT
Glasgow - St Andrew's in the Square - Michael McGoldrick, John Doyle and John McCusker - 8pm

SATURDAY 17th SEPTEMBER

CLASS
Dundee, Wighton Centre, Dundee Wellgate Library - Harp - 2pm

CONCERT
Elgin - Elgin Town Hall - Fiddlers' Rally - 7.30pm

Glasgow - Glasgow Royal Concert Hall - The Glasgow Phoenix Choir

Glasgow - St Andrew's in the Square - Shetland Bus Concert - 8pm

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING
Pitlochry - Pitlochry Town Hall - Marian Anderson

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The good people at Ö÷²¥´óÐã Music have created a brand new way of enjoying music on the Ö÷²¥´óÐã website. It's called the Music Showcase, and Ö÷²¥´óÐã Scotland has a couple of lovely new collections on there.

True to his Another Country show, Ricky's Collection includes a healthy dose of Americana of course, but also includes some pop, classic and recent, and some indie music. There are interviews with Tom Tom Club and Bobby Gillespie, live music videos from Darrell Scott and Newton Faulkner, and lots more.

New to Ricky's Collection this week :

• Ron Sexmith - Another Country Interview


• The Jayhawks - Another Country Interview

See also our Mary Ann Kennedy Collection for trad, world, jazz and classical clips. This week's latest: Fran Healy and Alfie Boe at the Caird Hall for the Proms.

Take a wee look at the MacAulay and Co. Friday events guide, which features a small selection of festivals and galas happening in Scotland, over the weekend. To search for more events in your area, visit the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Things to Do website.

View: Loch Broom and Ullapool Harbour

16 - 18 September

Takes place in Ullapool, on the shores of Lochbroom in north west Scotland. The event features big name musical acts, including The Feeling, Kassidy and The Bluebells - plus sidelines of fringe shows, street entertainment, and local food and drink.

17 - 18 September

Festival showcasing Loch Fyne Oysters; Food from Argyll;, Fyne Ales, a variety of the Best West Coast crafts; live music featuring of mix of traditional - contemporary - jazz; children's entertainments and much more. Something for all the family on the 17th and 18th September. Free entry to the festival, normal castle admission applies.

17 September
Demonstrations of Taoist Tai Chi in Falcon Square in Inverness. This starts a week of classes commencing the 19th September, in and around Inverness.

17 September
.
As part of Aberdeen's celebrations for Thomas Blake Glover; "The Scottish Samurai", Gean Tree Press will lead a Ginko - a Haiku nature walk.
A Ginko is a nature walk - used to gather inspiration for Haiku / Renga.

The Ginko will run from St Machar Cathedral through Seaton Park along the Don River and on to the Brig O' Balgownie past Glover's old home and then proceed through the Nature Reserve to the Murchar (Don Estuary). All abilities and ages are welcome to take part.

17 September

Food festival and craft exhibition which celebrates Scottish based talent and traditions (new and old) to create a full family day out in the Ochils.

19 September

An Evening with Tam Cowan. Former pupil and school captain Tam will entertain the audience and chair a question and answer session with a panel of well known football personalities including Motherwell Captain Stephen Craigan, former pupil and Scotland Captain Gary McAllister MBE, former Motherwell player Iain Ferguson and former Airdrie player and SFA coach Andy Smith.

pie and Bovril at the interval are available from the school with all proceeds going to St Andrew's Hospice.

Heckling was the subject on Wednesday (QUIET!). Keith Brown from Larbert was one fo the many who gingerly sidestepped the swearing issue...

Tom,

As pointed out the most memorable heckles tend to include colourful adjectives so I will only give you the sanitised version of a memorable moment from my younger cousin Iain. At a football match fraught with bizarre interventions by the whistler, Iain was getting more and more agitated as each decison was meted out.

Eventually it all became too much for Iain who exploded with the following :- "OI REFEREE YOUR DECISIONS ARE LESS CONSISTENT THAN MY MUM'S CUSTARD AND SHE HAS NOT EARNED THE TITLE LUMPY DANIELS BY ACCIDENT."

Cue general guffaws and chants of "there's only one Lumpy Daniels" from those around us, much to the bewilderment of the majority of the crowd. He still takes great pride in that moment in the sun even though he has almost 30 years to improve on it.

The Tom Morton Show, Mon-Thurs 1430-1600, Fri 1400-1600.

If I remember correctly it was the summer of 1988. We had been recording over in the west coast of the USA for the first time and returned to the more prosaic duties of playing gigs and festivals up and down the land. I realised I never liked festivals. I still don't really - though I had one of these strange moments at one this summer which made me realise why people occasionally love them; more on that later. On this particular Saturday our band played an afternoon slot at the Reading Festival. One of our guys pointed to the stage and said, "It's a bit of a ritual here, but the first five minutes of any set the lads throw all their plastic beer bottles on stage. Don't worry, it happens to everyone." It happened to us, but as the urine filled bottle hit Graeme's guitar for the nth time a strange clarity broke over the proceedings for me and I led our troupe offstage.

Nick Lowe copyright Dan Burn-Forti

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Louise Yeoman who produces Past Lives has written this article, taken the photographs and recorded the audio for this blog post. It's all related to the episode of Past Lives which will be broadcast on Monday 19 September.

LOUISE YEOMAN
Welcome to Bronze Age Bressay - where the steam and stones are really flying.

Right next to the Bressay heritage centre in the Shetland Islands, there's a three thousand year old monument which has walked. Ok, well not without a bit of help... It's Cruester Burnt Mound which was moved stone by labelled-stone to escape coastal erosion by sea, wind and weather. Douglas Coutts of the groups tells you all about it here:

The people who look after the mound are the Bressay History Group. Mark Stephen joined them to take part in a hands-on back to the Bronze Age experiment. Of course they don't use the actual monument for experiments, it's irreplaceable, but they've built a replica right next to it, and that's used to investigate what burnt mounds are for, which is a bit of a mystery. You might be wondering what a burnt mound is by now. It's not much to look at! A big heap of burnt and cracked stones built up around a space for a hearth (called a hearth cell) and a stone tank built into a clay bed ( so it can hold water). They are always close to water of some sort or another, and the one thing we think we do know about them is that they're there to heat that water up, and that's done by roasting stones in a fire till they're red hot, and then you flick them out of the fire, down a slope and into the cold water tank. What could possibly go wrong?

Well quite a lot - when the stones get red-hot they can crack and explode - one false move and you'll have some nasty burns or scars from exploding stones to take home with you, so safety is important - goggles and steel toe-capped boots. Today's experiment, presided over by Robina Barton of the History group, archaeologist Lauren Doughton and spinner Sarah Foster Jarden was to heat nettles in the water to make a dye, and then to dye a urine-soaked fleece in it. Yum, yum! Yes, you read that correctly. In the name of science and history The Bressay team have been collecting the stuff and soaking wool in it to get the lanolin out the fleece and make the dye take. You can hear all the wonderful sounds of the experiment in our Past Lives programme on Monday at 14.05, but if you want to see it - here are the pics!

Photographs of the Burnt Mound, heating up the rocks, adding in the nettles, the fleece, mixing and finally, the wool.

You might also be wanting to know the results - but don't look till you hear the programme! But if you do - read on!

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Ricky's guest on Friday's Another Country is Nick Lowe. He was the leader of pub rockers Brinsley Schwarz, a member of Dave Edmund's Rockpile; produced records by artists such as Elvis Costello and The Pretenders; has released many highly-acclaimed solo albums including the new CD "The Old Magic"; and was, for a time, married to Carlene Carter, daughter of June Carter Cash.

Here's a short clip from the interview, you can hear more from Nick from 2005, on Friday 16 September...

Here's this week's The Kitchen Cafe recipe, by chef Michael Smith, to be downloaded, kept and printed.

Download the recipe.

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400.

This week's programme was broadcast on the tenth anniversary of 9/11 and emotions were running high in the studio. and were talking about some of the most poignant images and personal stories from the week's media coverage.

But , who's American, was upset by the media's need to pick over every detail of the tragedy and the constant repeated images of the Twin Towers burning. She hasn't been able to watch any of it and feels some of the coverage has bordered on treating it like some kind of tasteless disaster movie. She thinks the respectful thing to do would be to stop showing these pictures and let people move on with their lives. I have some sympathy with her view. I can't help thinking what it must be like for the families, particularly the children, of those who died, to be constantly subjected to these pictures run on a loop just to fill time on twenty four hour news bulletins.

For me one of the most moving accounts of the week was from a child whose father was killed in the attacks. She remembered looking out of her bedroom window that night to see all the neighbours linking arms, forming a human chain around their house to keep the news crews away. Let's hope they go away now.

The two most influential books I have read in my life have been Sunset Song by and The Democratic Intellect by . Most of you have probably read Gibbon's classic novel of life in the Howe o the Mearns, but I would guess that very few of you have come across Davie's book. Yet while Sunset Song drew me emotionally into a lifetime love of Scottish literature, Davie's work was even more fundamental as for the first time I was confronted with a compelling account of Scotland's intellectual history through the story of its university tradition.

In The Scottish Intellect, my latest seven part series for Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland, I hope to engage you the listener in the way that Davie's work engaged me - for what at first glance could appear as a dry subject, turns into a fascinating account of over 600 years of Scottish cultural history at home and abroad. If it is dry, it is only in the way a noble Sauvignon Blanc from Sancerre or Cloudy Bay is dry...replete with intense citric flavours that burst on the palate and last long in the memory!

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I do get confused sometimes. This week I listened to Iain Gray demand to know why the SNP was not holding a referendum on independence. Is that really what he meant? The leader of the largest Unionist party wants a vote on ending the Union... Of course, he is being mischievous in goading Mr Salmond, but it's all so hollow is it not?

He only says it because he feels safe in the knowledge it won't happen. Can you imagine the panic if Salmond changed his mind and said: It will happen in a month's time? Mr Gray would disappear under a deluge of fury from everyone else, for it is surely now clear that there is nothing foregone about a one-off referendum.

Whichever side you're on, this is a dangerous gambit which has as its prize, the future of our country... hardly the stuff of rhetorical games. Perhaps it was a cover for the failure to find anything much in the SNP package to oppose.

So far it seems the first attempts at challenging Mr Salmond are coming from London-based sources, including the Treasury, but that's hardly an organisation with respect to burn in Scotland... The Treasury which oversaw the financial crash, the decline of our pensions and now deep cuts to public spending.

Anyway, we will debate the week in politics with and . While George Osbourne sticks to his guns, we hear if that is likely to be sustainable from .

Meanwhile Obama has blinked and is pushing a massive jobs package at Congress, he'll hope that rescues his grim poll ratings, while the Republicans jostle for position in the coming presidential campaign. We speak to in Washington.

We won't trawl through 9/11, but will pick out the trial of mistakes and bad reactions that haunt the West today in the company of former UN high flyer . And we're in New Zealand where there's a rugby game. At least I'm not confused about that. See you tomorrow morning at 8.

FRIDAY 9th SEPTEMBER

CONCERT
Girvan - Queen's Hotel - Maggie MacInness

Langholm - Buccleugh Centre - Fi Campbell and Tom McFarland

SATURDAY 10th SEPTEMBER

CLASS
Dundee, Wighton Centre, Dundee Wellgate Library - Harp - 2pm

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING
Dunfermline - Carnegie Hall - Fiddlers Rally

CONCERT
Glasgow - Royal Concert Hall - The Scottish Fiddle Orchestra

Strontian - Sunart Centre - Maggie MacInness

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Hello all,

This week I want to talk dirty to you. Well more specifically I want to talk about good old-fashioned muck. Super gardener Cathy Evans arrived on Monday morning in my garden (alas one day too late for a mucky weekend) for MacAulay & Co's penultimate weekly garden item, bearing a bucket full of muck.

The topic of this week's item was fertiliser and the benefits - or not as the case may be - of off-the-shelf inorganic varieties as opposed to Mother Nature's very own organic ones. Cathy lives rurally and benefits from having farmers as neighbours so she can collect manure from horses and cows. Manure encourages good bacteria in the soil, it nourishes the earth and makes it more fertile. Whereas, in her opinion, the off-the-shelf ones tend not to do this and can leave the soil a little dried out.

Expert opinion about which provides the better manure, a cow or a horse, is a 50/50 split. Cows on one side and horses on the other, in a sort of Mexican stand-off perhaps. In Cathy's opinion the cows just edge it as horse manure is mixed with wood shavings which tend to take a little longer to break down. Both are good though, and you may wish to mix the two together, although Fred pointed out that if you were to do this, it would take a bit of explaining when quizzed in the pub later as to what you had spent your day doing.

Alternatively, you could go in search of a horse-cow. Not many of them around though, as far as I'm aware at least. What a sight that would be! So Cathy's advice is basically to visit your nearest stable or farm and ask for any spare animal dung. You can buy it in sacks from garden centres, but it does tend to be on the pricey side. Now, I've seen Cathy's fantastic terraced-vegetable garden and so her expertise is not in doubt, but to suggest that the best way to get the best organic farmyard manure is to go directly to the horse's mouth surely has to be called into question...! Ahem, sorry about that.

Now is a good time for applying fertilisers to your garden as the season is drawing to a close. Most veg has already been lifted, including my own red onions and radishes, and in fact the advantage of applying manure now is that you can just leave it on the surface of your garden and the worms will do the rest! No need for any digging or forking, let the little perishers' save your back, while you sit down and have a cuppa, preferably not in the garden if the recent weather is to continue, mind.

I was going to leave you with a picture of Cathy's excellent muck bucket, but I'll leave it to your imagination. Instead here's a a couple of nice photos of horses and cows.

Horses and cows: The Royal Highland Show 2010

Next Monday 12th Sept my novice garden adventure as documented on MacAulay & Co comes to end so join me if you can to find out what conclusions we can draw from the experience, and also hear how I do on the quiz Fred has in store for me. Final garden blog next week and until then, happy gardening!

Here are few links to some of the 9/11 programmes on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland and elsewhere on the Ö÷²¥´óÐã.

Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland
Sunday Morning with Ricky Ross -
Ricky Ross

This week falls on the anniversary of that awful day. I have been very taken with WNYC's (the NPR station in New York) website inviting listeners to suggest music for the anniversary. There are many beautiful, brilliant and stirring suggestions. Some of the songs take on a whole new meaning in the events of 9/11 and others simply echo the sadness. I'll be playing suggestions throughout the show.

Shereen
Shereen Nanjiani with a panel of guests.

Photographs taken inside, of, and around the World Trade Center, October 1998 by Alan Braidwood

MEMORIAL SERVICES

Ö÷²¥´óÐã One
Britain Remembers September 11th
A ceremony to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks.

Ö÷²¥´óÐã Two
America Remembers September 11th
Coverage from New York of the ceremony to mark the tenth anniversary of September 11.

Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio 4
Sunday Worship
A service of Remembrance and Reconciliation for 9/11 from the Grosvenor Chapel in London.

ELSEWHERE ON THE Ö÷²¥´óÐã
Ö÷²¥´óÐã News - News - reports, audio video slideshows and video.

9/11 coverage across the Ö÷²¥´óÐã

Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio 4
Radio 4 reflects on the events of 9/11 with a season of programmes, new and from the archive.

It's a little too easy to get caught up in a drama. Sometimes it's tempting to want to play a bigger part in it than we deserve. However this last week I have watched three different documentaries on 9/11 and each one has been beautifully made and has allowed people like myself, bystanders across the water, to understand a little of what it has been like for those left behind.

Flag illuminated on the side of a New York skyscraper

Sunday Mornings With..this week falls on the anniversary of that awful day. I have been very taken with 's (the NPR station in New York) website inviting listeners to suggest music for the anniversary. There are many beautiful, brilliant and stirring suggestions. Some of the songs take on a whole new meaning in the events of 9/11 and others simply echo the sadness. I'll be playing suggestions throughout the show.

I also hope to include some of my facebook friends and supporters' own memories of how the tragedy affected them even here. Feel free to add to these stories here. We'll hear from Bob Dixon who has been gathering memories and stories in the Big Apple itself. I will also be chatting to John Mann who was then a pastor in Minneapolis struggling to contain his parishioners anger and is now a minister in Pollok, Glasgow.

It's also another anniversary. It's 15 years since was established. Mark was a sixteen year old boy murdered in a shocking sectarian attack in Bridgeton. His father Niall will be in the studio talking about how much or little has changed in the intervening years.

I will also be chatting to Robin Harper, Scotland's first green MSP on the publication of his new autobiography, Dear Mr Harper.

It's going to be a special two hours and it all starts at seven next Sunday morning on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland.

On Another Country...

It's 100 years since the birth of Bill Monroe, father of bluegrass. We will have an hour of bluegrass music from Bill, The Stanley Brothers, The Avetts, Dolly Parton and yes...Bob Dylan!

Bill Monroe

In the second hour it's an 80th birthday party for George Jones.

We'll hear George singing George. We'll hear George singing Bill Monroe and we'll hear a host of other great artists singing the songs of the man Frank Sinatra called "the second best singer in America." Listen out for Gram Parsons, The Everly brothers, The Secret Sisters and Kitty Wells. All from five past eight on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland.

There's not time to play all the songs I've gathered for Sundays show so I thought you'd be interested to hear this one suggested by one of the listeners at WNYC. Dylan, by Nina Simone.

The MacAulay and Co. events guide returns, showcasing just a few of the events you can look forward to this weekend:

The Reel History of Britain Experience

3-11 September

Events include: Workshop events, gigs, poetry and book talks, spinning workshops and kids events.

3-18 September

The annual celebration of Scottish produce, discover, the food and drink produced on your own doorstep.

10 September
The Reel History of Britain Experience
The Ö÷²¥´óÐã invites you to discover your past through film: Step back in time and star in an archive film and see how life in Scotland has changed through amazing archive film. Watch classic Ö÷²¥´óÐã programmes and moments from the last 60 years. You can also get hands on with old film equipment and see how technology has changed.

10 September

Ever wondered which wild plants are good to eat? Join a ranger led walk to find safe and tasty edibles.

10 September
Archaeology Detectives at the National Museum of Scotland
Become an archaeologist for the weekend in this hands-on workshop supported by Archaeology Scotland. See what evidence you can excavate in the dig pit, sort through your finds and try out some ancient technologies.

10 September

The RAF Leuchars Air Show celebrates 100 years of aviation from North East Fife.

To search for more events in your area, visit the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Things to Do website.

Wednesday saw personal bias leaking onto the Tom Morton Show, as I found myself detailing the albums I was supposed to listen to and love, but couldn't. These included, I confessed (not for the first time) everything by the Velvet Underground. Everything by the Beach Boys. And everything by Arthur Lee and Love.

Now, I'm more than aware that I'm on very dodgy ground here. These are not just three of the most acclaimed acts of all time, but three of the most influential on, specifically, Glasgow bands from the late 70s onwards.

The thing is, I can't help it. I think Lou Reed's insufferable on any level. Love sound so weedy they barely exist, and the Beach Boys, ESPECIALLY Pet Sounds, produced psychotically overwrought, utterly tedious obsessive-compulsive nonsense-with-gloss.

This, as you can imagine, provoked objections, though not as many as you may think. However, it's only fair to reprint the cogent and saddened thoughts of Mr K Thomson...

Hi Tom,

I'm all for having a tilt at sacred cows, but knocking "Forever Changes" is a step too far. I would still say it is my favourite album of all time. Try it one more time.
How can anybody not get "Pet Sounds" and the Velvet Underground? That music changed the landscape forever, and it still sounds fresh, because there were great melodies throughout the albums, unlike the Led Zeps and other assorted heavy bands of the day. Try "Loaded", it shows a softer more melodic side to Lou Reed's work with nary a hint of darkness.

I know you never got The Doors, but leave Love alone. They were astounding, and the fact that Arthur Lee could still perform perfectly until his death, even after many years incarceration, proves what a true seer he was. Certainly a flawed genius, just like Lou and Brian, but all genii nonetheless.

All the best,
K.

I've never been a good passenger.. always the first to throw up at the slightest provocation. On a tour of Ireland as a young child, I asked my parents to pull over on a rural lane to allow me to get rid of the nasty taste brewing in my throat. My parents - old school, no nonsense - told me to shut up and stop being such a baby. I still recall the scene a couple of miles down the road as my father struggled to keep the car on the road while simultaneously mopping up the stream of sticky mess flowing down the back of his neck.

So when I heard that one of my Book Café guests had endured a nightmare journey by taxi to the studio and was looking a bit green around the gills, I felt for him with all my heart. isn't one of life's whingers.. what he IS, is one of life's battlers. In a career spanning more than forty years in the House of Commons, this Labour back bencher became the scourge of those in power. He famously accused Margaret Thatcher of lying during the Falklands War and he didn't have much time for Tony Blair's intervention in Iraq . Now those skirmishes and so many more, are faithfully recorded in Tam Dalyell's pithily titled memoirs, THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING AWKWARD.

It's a chunky volume with much to entertain the history nut.. for starters, a cast of colourful ancestors including the notorious Black Tam. But it's the political passion that screams out from every page. Dalyell wasn't capable of playing the long game, currying favour and achieving front bench prominence. He positively enjoyed digging around and unearthing inconvenient truths no matter how uncomfortable his revelations were for anyone of any political hue. As a young(ish !) political reporter in the 90s, I regularly saw Tam in action in the chamber; as he rose to ask a question, a collective groan went up - MPs on all sides knew they were about to hear Tam fire off another interminable volley of forensically crafted questions. Here was someone who didn't give a stuff about being popular or amusing. He told me himself that he was a bore and didn't mind it one bit! In today's House of Commons, you'd be hard pressed to recognise many faces, never mind a first name, but mention TAM and you could only be talking about one person. Read the book and you'll get an idea of the man's unwavering strength of conviction - a fascinating record of half a lifetime spent in politics. The nightmare taxi journey was well worth the effort, Tam.

On Tuesday's Culture Café we took you on a virtual tour of the newly refurbished . My producer Esme Kennedy told me she wanted to make a documentary that recorded the entire process - the removal of old exhibits, the refurb, the personnel involved, the restoration of artefacts, any setbacks, triumphs etc. We met so many people involved in the refurbishment programme and although they all looked exhausted, you could see the pride and excitement in their eyes. They knew this was going to be an amazing project, a once in a lifetime opportunity that they HAD to get right. We recorded the last instalment before many of the exhibits were back in place but even so, you couldn't fail to be impressed by the grandeur of the Victorian main gallery, a wedding cake interior suffused with light. The new entrance is rather enticing too so if you haven't been to Chambers Street yet, what are you waiting for? We've talked you through it, try it out for real.

Here's the latest recipe from The Kitchen Cafe, by chef Mary Contini, to be downloaded, kept and printed.

Download the recipe.

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400.

Fred's been keeping up with Mark Beaumont's attempt to Row the Arctic for the last 6 weeks. Mark finally set foot on British soil this morning and even though he and the team have rowed and dragged their boat over 450 miles in extreme conditions, we demanded he come in and say hello before he finally got home to his own bed.

Listen to MacAulay and Co., weekdays 1030 - 1200 on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland.

My good friend and brother in rock Duglas T Stewart agrees that there is something compelling and ultimately very moving about the strange video that accompanies The KLF's 1992 single Justified And Ancient. In it a wizened and world weary Tammy Wynette gets her heartbroken pipes round a folksy ol' tune and some lyrical tosh about ice cream vans, the justified ancients of Mu Mu and an exhortation to 'stand by the jams' while a choir wave their hands ecstatically chanting "all bound for Mu Mu land" and scantily clad drummers pound away earnestly. It's the Dada Wizard Of Oz, hypercandied, stoopid, magical. And this is a thing about one strand of the greatest pop music - there are some artists who are so fleet of foot, so cocksure that they can chuck together a series of outré, often plain bad elements and still come up smelling of sonic roses. Examples might include Dexys Midnight Runners who brought banjos, fiddles, poorly conceived facial hair and dungarees to bear on American R&B and came up with Come On Eileen, or Brian Wilson who combined idiotic teenage themes, sophisticated chord changes and structures, frankly farty sounding synths and his own 1970s-vintage, cigarette-ruined croak for the latter-day classic The Beach Boys Love You.

The KLF - 'The White Room'

Gosh, the chutzpah, the emotional endurance to go 15 rounds with something you suspect (in the opening seconds of round 1) might be absolute rubbish and then sit exhausted in the corner stool, realising either:

a. It WAS rubbish
b. It is basically The Mona Lisa, OK Computer, insert masterpiece here.

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This week's special guest is truly inspirational. If like me you've been reading you'll know that her life changed forever eighteen months ago when a horrendous riding accident left her paralysed from the neck down. Her columns describe in painful detail the struggles and battles she's been going through every day since then. They're moving and often disarmingly funny.

I'd met Melanie once a few years before her accident. She was one of those high achieving career women who was always on the go, constantly busy, the type of person others go to when they've got a problem. She was also surprisingly shy. The shyness has gone now. "I've got nothing to lose now" she says.

Our meeting was an emotional one as she admitted she still hasn't come to terms with what has happened to her and is mourning the person she's lost. She's not ready to accept that she may spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair and is determined to keep battling with the rehab and physio even though the most basic tasks leave her exhausted.
After the interview we went for a coffee. Like a true journalist Melanie was keen to hear all the gossip and was even suggesting other people I should interview for the show.

She clearly relished being back in her old environment, just another hack, chewing the fat. Even though the afternoon must have been exhausting for her she didn't let anyone else push her wheelchair for her. As she said of herself in her first column after the accident, "".

Listen to Shereen, Sunday 0900 on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland and available to listen again on iPlayer.

So, having been ill last week, the producer is now off on a prolonged break...no doubt to some secret CIA training camp where they learn how to subvert Ö÷²¥´óÐã presenters. The upshot is that the programme has been concocted by a Ö÷²¥´óÐã committee and you can imagine how creative and decisive they are. As I've said before, I go to meetings in the Cathedral of Chaos here at Pacific Quay and I'm not exaggerating when I say I sometimes forget what the meeting's about. Is it just me?

So I can't guarantee what you'll hear in the morning but here's a rough outline.
We noticed letters in the papers from two of our MEPs, one Labour and one Tory, separately pointing out bloomers in the SNP prospectus. One said you couldn't have different rates of corporation tax under plans to harmonise taxation and the other said Scotland would automatically be expelled from the EU on independence while the rest of the UK stayed in. And just to cap it all, Scotland would have to join the Euro, which it seems is no longer SNP policy, at least in the short term. So it looked like a belt and braces case against the . We asked the if they were right and they refused to speak on the matter. Why not? What on earth is the Commission for if it's not to service the public? We pay enough for it...couldn't they just answer some questions, not on politics as such but on Commission policy. So instead we turned to one of our eminent professors on such matters to judge wether our MEPs are correct. Or, more subtly, are they nearly correct? You can hear the result in the morning.

There have been more turns in the trams saga than there are on the route to the airport. It now looks like it will go into the city after all. So we thought we'd look back at where it all went awry...arguably when the council opted for a referendum on congestion charging which could have helped fund the whole operation and cleared the city centre of unnecessary vehicles. We speak to an expert on London's scheme and, after hearing from Dublin last week, we're in Bergen where they have manged to build a tram scheme under budget. Sorry, Edinburgh. We hear about music in the Free Kirk and the Blues and we're in South Africa and Algeria. Bet the weather's better there. Must go. The programme team is about to meet. There are so many putting their oar in in this week, we're holding it at Hampden.

See you tomorrow at 8.

Here are this week's Take the Floor events guide featuring traditional music concerts, scottish country dancing, ceilidhs and classes.

W/C 2nd September
FRIDAY 2ND SEPTEMBER

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCINGGlasgow RSCDS - New Kilpatrick New Halls, Bearsden

SATURDAY 3RD SEPTEMBER
CLASS
Dundee, Wighton Centre, Dundee Wellgate Library - Harp - 2pm

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING
Elgin - New Elgin Hall - Colin Donaldson - 8pm

Pitlochry - Pitlochry Town Hall - Glencraig

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Firstly, many apologies for garden blog silence over the last few weeks. Put simply, I went on holiday by mistake. After a week of food poisoning I recovered sufficiently to play football with my 11-year-old nephew and promptly broke my thumb! A 300 mile drive back to Glasgow with my 16-month-old son Max was never going to be easy, but it just got a whole hell of a lot harder!

Anyway, what of my garden. Well, let's for a moment consider the similarities of tending a garden and managing a football squad. Neglect and injudicious pruning can cause the kind of difficulties currently facing Arsène Wenger, whereas using experience and nurturing the young as well as knowing exactly the right time to do a spot of weeding, and you have the winning formula of Sir Alex's Man Utd. So which am I? Well, according to the latest garden expert (Jim Jermyn Gardening Scotland's Show Manager) dispatched to my veg patch on MacAulay & Co's regular Monday morning garden slot, alas it seems the former rather than the latter....

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This Friday evening you can spend some time listening in to the chat I had with Ron Sexsmith. It's hard to know why we haven't played much Ron until recently. It's probably because he doesn't really fit the "Americana or Alt-Country" tag.

Ron Sexsmith

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Short and sweet this week - but I couldn't resist this from Archie's Dad, on the subject of nicknames. His, by the way, is Stocky. Mine, at school, was Porridge.

"The best nickname I ever heard was a guy called 'Two Soups'; when I asked why, he answered that his name was Campbell Baxter!"

Of course, he may have a German cousin called Heinz. Or a brother called, well, Knorrie....

The Tom Morton Show is Monday-Thursday from 1430-1600 and Friday from 1405

Here's a bonus recipe from this week's The Kitchen Cafe, by chef Michael Smith, to be downloaded, kept and printed.

Download the recipe.

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400.

Here's the latest recipe from The Kitchen Cafe, by chef Tom Kitchin, to be downloaded, kept and printed.

Download the recipe.

The Kitchen Cafe is on Ö÷²¥´óÐã Radio Scotland every Wednesday, 1315-1400.