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Ben Dirs

The glamour of the World Cup (52)

St Etienne - Those of you who have been complaining about us wasting your hard-earned cash for the last three weeks will be delighted to know that we awoke this morning in an industrial estate to the tune of hailstones ricocheting off the roof of The Bloggernaut.

And as we weaved our way through the breathtaking Rhone Valley on Wednesday, , comparisons with the west coast of Ireland became irresistible. Marseille this isn’t.

dirsy_cold.jpg

So a word of advice to any Scotland fans flocking to the city for the : if you’re going to dig out the , make sure the old fella’s afforded plenty of protection underneath.

Also, if you don’t own a campervan and you haven’t booked into a hotel, I can see your future: it involves either a campsite 20km out of town, a night dossing on the floor of a mate’s room or a few hours curled up in a bus shelter in Baltic conditions. Hope that’s cheered you all up.

Last night we saw and, once again, despite the icy chill and sweeping drizzle at the brutalist Stade Geoffroy Guichard, the locals were out in force.

We have now seen Michael Jones’ boys in action twice while there is a possibility that we won’t see England at all if they stumble against Tonga on Friday. Who said the Ö÷²¥´óÐã was Anglo-centric?

Although Samoa’s three post-match ‘hakas’ brought the house down, I couldn’t help feeling impatient for juicier, more meaningful clashes.

Cue Scotland v Italy on Saturday, and you have to think the Scots will have enough grunt to progress. They should also be able to count on more support than they had in Edinburgh last weekend, which is an odd thought.

promises to be crackerjack match-up and one that I expect the Pumas to win.

The South Americans strike me as one of the most well-balanced sides in this tournament - muscular up front and bristling with attacking intent out back. Ireland look like they’ve been drugged.

We are now on the road to Lyon, where, given the dire hostelry situation in St Etienne, we have decided to spend the night.

Indeed, so exhaustive have our travels been that I am beginning to lose my wits. When Tom asked me to locate the stadium in the media guide last night, I momentarily forgot what city we were in.

There are also the first signs I am falling out of love with France. This morning, fed up of baguettes that go stale before you’ve got them out of the door of the boulangerie, I purchased a sliced ‘Americana’ loaf, pillow soft and packed with preservatives. Love it.

There are some things, however, that I will never fall out with and following Tom’s heroic ascent up Mont Ventoux on Monday, I hit back in the only way I know how.

I went out and bought the most rancid wheel of cheese I could find and it’s currently in the fridge chatting away with a particularly spicy saucisson. They’re probably taking the rise out of Tom’s vest collection.

The upside of the miserable weather is that Tom will hopefully start using his vests as vests, just like proper men do. The downside is that France, for the moment at least, feels just like England.

Ben Dirs is a Ö÷²¥´óÐã Sport journalist travelling around France in a camper van with Tom Fordyce.


Comments  Post your comment

  • 1.
  • At 01:33 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Sarah, Bucks wrote:

Lose your razor Dirsy?

  • 2.
  • At 02:06 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Tom Kennedy wrote:

Dirsy..

Lyon...you're heading to the gastronomic centre of france. Enjoy!

  • 3.
  • At 02:08 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Tom Kennedy wrote:

Dirsy..

Lyon...you're heading to the gastronomic centre of france. Enjoy!

  • 4.
  • At 02:33 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Mick wrote:

There are three possible outcomes in the Ireland Argentina match this weekend but only one that haunts me. Its not the thought of losing I can deal with that. We've been playing so badly we it's almost laughable and if we get beaten i'll be the first one on me soapbox pointing out that when you're not good enough you're just not good enough. There is then the possibility that we just might live up to our true potential and get out there and do it! Score the 4 tries we need and a couple more just for good measure. That would be just fine with me and doesn't worry me in the slightest. No the thing keeping me awake at nights is the third possibility one that is typically Irish. I can see it now, we're going to play fantastic rugby at last, a joy to behold .We're going to play them off the park with our superior skills and tactics.......... And score 3 tries! Not quite enough! For the next four years we'll be left to wonder why the hell we couldn't play like that against Namibia, Georgia, and France.So please please please boys sort it out . I need to sleep!

  • 5.
  • At 02:47 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • paul moore wrote:

Whatever the reason for Ireland's poor showing it looks like the French agree with you and that Argentina will win the group. Smart move by them to rest some key players for their upcoming match with the all blacks. They will win that match and go on to redeem themselves and beat Argentina in the final.

  • 6.
  • At 02:51 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Merv wrote:

Having read about your miserable attempts at pulling french girls and observed you both in your holiday attire, I have taken the liberty of signing you up for the next edition of the popular Ö÷²¥´óÐã show "What not to wear" (the mens version obviously). I'm not sure if some coaching in the sartorial department will be of any use to you, but I think it might be very amusing for us viewers. Looking forward to seeing you both in the 360° mirror.

  • 7.
  • At 03:04 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • simon N wrote:

I dont care about getting gastroentronitius I just want to know where the best bars and clubs are ?? any clues

  • 8.
  • At 03:08 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Dartfordian Maca wrote:

Andouillettes

Don't ask just try them.

  • 9.
  • At 03:21 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Vince March wrote:

If you are missing Steak and Kidney Pie or Ginger Pud and hot custard, try Simple Simon's in the town centre.

If you are still in Lyon on Saturday, come and watch our club's "fete de rugby".

Apparently, they are going to barbecue two whole sheep for the occasion.

  • 10.
  • At 03:23 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Tez wrote:

Think you may be on to something with Ireland, Dirsy ... some sort of food poisoning or similar ... remember the allegations flying around at the SA/New Zealand final in 1995? Stranger things have happened ... they could hardly have played much worse so far ... have any suspicious characters been seen around the team hotel in Bordeaux ?? Hey come to think of it, when were you two guys there a while back ... hold on a minute ...

  • 11.
  • At 03:30 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Vince March wrote:

If you are missing Steak and Kidney Pie or Ginger Pud and hot custard, try Simple Simon's in the town centre.

If you are still in Lyon on Saturday, come and watch our club's "fete de rugby".

Apparently, they are going to barbecue two whole sheep for the occasion.

  • 12.
  • At 03:48 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Java wrote:

"So a word of advice to any Scotland fans flocking to the city for the crunch game against Italy on Saturday: if you’re going to dig out the kilt, make sure the old fella’s afforded plenty of protection underneath."

Ben my friend, how little you know. To be caught wearing anything other than "fresh air" under your kilt on a rugby/football trip can result in punishments that would make the worst of the Spanish Inquisitors feel a little on the squeemish side...

  • 13.
  • At 03:56 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • jockser wrote:

For ireland this is crunch time !
and to be honest i feel more comfortable with the argies as we are out of the tournament unless we have the "miracle" .
These players have 80mins to reedem there shattered reps ! and hopefully hang on to a few sponsorship deals!!!
Ireland will win this match and they will score tries its just a matter how many and will it be enough .
The argies showed against france how they can frustrated a team up front and how to neutrailise a back line , if any team in this tournament have been frustarted its ireland .
if thew line out works which it surely will considering the 9 days they have had to sort out , the scrum will hold , its just amatter of competing at the breakdown and murphy hanging on to the argies only tactic . up n under !!!

  • 14.
  • At 04:27 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Rashers wrote:

"Ireland look like they’ve been drugged."

Description exactly right.

  • 15.
  • At 04:41 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • nickc wrote:

Ben-proper men don't wear vests. And I have been reliably informed by a Scottish colleague that the only underwear a true Scotsman wears under his skirt are furry pants

  • 16.
  • At 04:55 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Declan Boland wrote:

I have to agree with Mick but there is an additional nightmare scenario! Ireland wins convincingly, plays out of our trees and qualifies to play NZ in QF. We then resort our former rugby trance and get trounced by the Kiwi's. That is more stress than I can bear at the moment.

  • 17.
  • At 05:37 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • sinclair wrote:

Now,none of you are taking the right sort of pills - for a surreal outcome, Ireland trounce Argentina - 6 tries and 35 point difference, Georgia beat France, Ireland win the Group and live to see another day. Well, it beats what we've been experiencing in real-life so far.

  • 18.
  • At 07:26 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • paul moore wrote:

Is this scenario in pool d possible? France beats georgia but does not get a bonus point. Ireland beats Argentina with bonus hence all teams end with 14 points. France wins group even though they lost to Argentina because of points differential and Argentina gets second for the same reason even though they lost to Ireland

  • 19.
  • At 07:38 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Declan wrote:

A wag in Limerick made a great comment to me this morning - he says Ireland's best chance is winning the Hurling World Cup!

  • 20.
  • At 08:19 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Jim wrote:

At least you actually managed to talk about rugby...decided to give your aspirations to be tour de france bloggers a rest or has the rain curtailed it? - bless.

  • 21.
  • At 08:43 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Liamin wrote:

France failing to get a bonus point against Georgia is a real possibility. I was confused so I asked the IRFU about it and they have confirmed that Ireland cannot go through in this scenario even if they get the miracle result ----unles they have 50 points clear margin on Argentina which requires more than a miracle!

The fact that it is not in our hands now is very annoying. I will be cheering on the French in Paris before the game. I believe they are showing the match at the Parc des Princes before the Ireland game.

Anyone know if you can bring booze into Parc des Princes?

  • 22.
  • At 10:29 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Jim from Croydon wrote:

Ireland were drugged ? Better than most other theories - It's a strange feeling - you can't actually bring yourself to think Ireland will not play well - but ? who knows what will happen - - least of all the Irish team I guess

  • 23.
  • At 11:50 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • redbat wrote:

In the event of two teams ending up with the same amount of points at the top of the group, I assumed the tie-breaker would be the result between those respective teams. I've heard it suggested however, that it's the scored and conceded points differential that will decide who finishes in first place. Anyone know the answer?

  • 24.
  • At 11:50 PM on 27 Sep 2007,
  • Gareth wrote:

Guys

Can you add your thoughts to the idea of reducing the numbers of minnows in the tournament, by reducing it to 16 teams.

I have been shouting myself horse whilst watching these small nations look threatening. Apart from the Boks slaughter of the English, the idea that Geogia or Portugal might cause an upset has keep me enthralled.

Rather than reduce the number of teams in the RWC, I would suggest the Nothern Hemisphere Annual Comp be turned into a 10/12 nations - of 2 divisions. With a proper relegation and promotion. This would give them the proper competition they need.

Lets turn rugby into a true "World" sport.

  • 25.
  • At 12:26 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Niall wrote:

Re Mick no.4: I have an even more nightmarish scenario for you.

We go out and for some unexplained and totally illogical reason we blast Argentina with 6 tries in the first half, going in with a handy 36-10 lead at half time. We then add a couple of quick tries and with the game and the bonus point safely secured, EOS empties the bench to rest the frontliners for the NZ match. In the final 10 minutes, Argentina get 2 consolation tries and then the penny drops: one more try and they get a bonus point. The inevitable happens and even though we win 50-25 out we go.

After what happened in Rome in March, you never know :-(

Its hard to know which is the more improbable: Ireland scoring a load of tries or EOS bringing on some subs

  • 26.
  • At 12:55 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Ryan Cullen wrote:

To me Ireland were well prepared for a world cup....but 6 months ago. The frustrating thing as an Irishman, is that the players are the best group this hemisphere has to offer...they simply arent properly prepared. Ireland's backline have become practically impotent. Darcy, the most important player in the team for me, simply hasn't played well at all. Dempsey's injury at full back may be a blessing as we will now have a full back with attacking skills that rival the best in the game, even if he may be slightly questionable defensively. The line-out and scrum I think have functioned acceptably in the main, but around the break down, the spring's tenacity and destructiveness has disappeared. How Neil Best is not in the team is beyond me. None of the back row have been on form yet they are all certain starters every game, with Best limited to 10 minutes here and there. Altho I think O'Sullivan has done a decent job, perhaps a change of emphasis from the coach is just what Ireland needs following this.

There is increasingly firm the version that speaks about the disqualification of the pumas of the cup. And if it is not possible to extract them this way of it there will take charge then the New Zealand umpire (better they had put Dickinson). The motive of the disqualification is the excess of alcohol that the Argentinians have been consuming during the games themselves. In effect, first they finished with the whole champagne, then they entered to the vodka, now they will drink from a sip little Irish coffee that even stays. As if it was little someone discovered that they were thinking to exhaust the scotch in a few days. Though frankly the Strega would come better to digest all the previous ...

  • 28.
  • At 03:35 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Colin wrote:

I do not wish to be a pessimist but if by some fluke Ireland do beat Argentina by more than seven points and score four tries, they can still go out if France win against Georgia but fail to get a bonus point. Assuming Ireland don't beat Argentina by more than 50 points!!!!!

  • 29.
  • At 04:28 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • PKAD wrote:

Has anyone considered the possibility of a fired up Georgia thrashing an understrength France and getting a bonus point? Could both Ireland and France get knocked out?? Probably not, but anyway.

  • 30.
  • At 05:49 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Colin wrote:

Always the pessimist. Having reviewed the table, if Ireland beat Argentina by 4 tries and more than 7 points they will still fail to qualify if France beat Georgia but fail to get the bonus point. In this scenario Ireland would have to score 4 tries and have a winning margin of 50 points or more to qualify. If they do manage to achieve this feat they will be well rewarded with a "home" game against the All Blacks. It seems that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train coming!!!!!!

  • 31.
  • At 07:09 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • william wallace wrote:

english fans are deluded,

with pathetic theories against the Argies and AUS.


Tonga is going to beat england hands down, no question about it.

Argentina will do the same to Ireland.

watching england lose is one of the highlights of any world cup. they are so consistent at losing !!!

a great football nation? its been 41 years people, accept it.

a great rugby nation, this one is even funnier, 2003 was a fluke.

  • 32.
  • At 07:57 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • alan cowling wrote:

Stopped reading at 'American loaf'. The man clearly has no taste. Difficult to take seriously after that.

  • 33.
  • At 08:03 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • alan cowling wrote:

Stopped reading at 'American loaf'. The man clearly has no taste. Difficult to take seriously after that.

  • 34.
  • At 08:38 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • nickc wrote:

william wallace - Is that a very large chip that I see on your shoulder?

  • 35.
  • At 08:39 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Dave P wrote:

Mr Dirs definately has a point regarding the French bread. Baguettes are a nonsense. Stale within minutes, possibly tooth breaking, bloody dangeous if you don't chew enough and let a large piece of splintered crust make its way down your gullet like a shard of metal covered in coarse-grade sandpaper. Rubbish for sarnies as well. They were clearly invented as an opportunity for French men to try and prove their manliness, because you certainly can't do that sipping coffee in a roadside cafe whilst 'people watching.'

Other ways in which our culinary heritage is better than France's include:

Cheese. English cheese is unsurpassed in the world due to our excellent climate enabling our field-bound friends to produce milk of distinction.

Gravy. Imagine: "Would you like'jus' with your pie monsieur?" No.

They needed a tyre company to invent the awards by which the worlds restaurants are judged. You can tell the best resaurants by the length of the queue outside them on a Saturday night. Ergo, Joe Kubab in Bristol deserves three Michelin stars.

Pickle/chutney. They just don't seem to have them. What do you put in your cheese and pickle sandwiches then?

Meat filled pastries. Pasties? Sausage rolls? Scotch eggs? Not a chance. What other snack enables you to eat meat with such convenience that you could probably play a game of tennis whilst doing so.

Mustard. The clincher. Dijon's fine for the ladies but no man should be seen eating anything other than English mustard. Questions would be asked.

Rugby's good as well. Looking forward to some big clashes over the next few days.

  • 36.
  • At 08:58 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • ewan wrote:

re post 31. Thankyou for those wonderful comments!!! If you are Brazilian - im happy to accept criticism on the state of English football!!! IF you are NZ equally happy to accept critisicm on current state of English Rugby!! Dare i ask where you are from???

  • 37.
  • At 09:04 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Alan Cowling - If your idea of taste is gnawing your way through a rock hard stick of bread, then, no, I have none.

william wallace - A Scot? I thought so. The World Cup in 2003 a fluke? Not sure about that seeing as England were favourites to win it. That's not to say they're not rubbish now.

Vince March - Thanks for the invite, but we'll be in St Etienne on Saturday for the Scotand match. Shame, I like eating sheep...

Merv - Whoa there son, I don't mind you having a pop at Tommy's clobber, but I haven't worn anything more offensive than a smart polo shirt all trip.

Simon N - Now, now, calm down. I believe we covered the best bars in St Etienne in a previous blog, but for the record, it sounds like everyone's heading to The Glasgow.

Dartfordian Maca - Andouillettes...I tried one last night, it was like a scene from Alien...but tasty, tasty, very, very tasty! Thank you sir!

  • 38.
  • At 09:05 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • wrote:

This weekend promises to be a fantastic showcase for the world cup, which incidently has been wonderfully hosted by France.
I read somewhere that a match last week, i think it was Canada or Georgia playing, two "lesser nations" anyway, and there was 44,000 people watching.
Admittedly this support may dwindle if/when France bow out of the tournament, but thus far the partizan French support has been second to none.
Anyway, back to this weekend, i simply cannot wait to see how England Tonga pans out, obviously ill be supporting our boys but ive developed new respect for Tonga from the manor in which they have applied themselves both on andf off the field during this tournament.
Secondly, Ireland v Argentine also promises to be an outstanding encounter with the Irish needing to score 4 tries against the only team yet to concede a try!!
All in all it promises to be a wonderfull weekend with rugby being the real winner!!

  • 39.
  • At 09:09 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • wrote:

This weekend promises to be a fantastic showcase for the world cup, which incidently has been wonderfully hosted by France.
I read somewhere that a match last week, i think it was Canada or Georgia playing, two "lesser nations" anyway, and there was 44,000 people watching.
Admittedly this support may dwindle if/when France bow out of the tournament, but thus far the partizan French support has been second to none.
Anyway, back to this weekend, i simply cannot wait to see how England Tonga pans out, obviously ill be supporting our boys but ive developed new respect for Tonga from the manor in which they have applied themselves both on andf off the field during this tournament.
Secondly, Ireland v Argentine also promises to be an outstanding encounter with the Irish needing to score 4 tries against the only team yet to concede a try!!
All in all it promises to be a wonderfull weekend with rugby being the real winner!!

  • 40.
  • At 09:13 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • wrote:

This weekend promises to be a fantastic showcase for the world cup, which incidently has been wonderfully hosted by France.
I read somewhere that a match last week, i think it was Canada or Georgia playing, two "lesser nations" anyway, and there was 44,000 people watching.
Admittedly this support may dwindle if/when France bow out of the tournament, but thus far the partizan French support has been second to none.
Anyway, back to this weekend, i simply cannot wait to see how England Tonga pans out, obviously ill be supporting our boys but ive developed new respect for Tonga from the manor in which they have applied themselves both on andf off the field during this tournament.
Secondly, Ireland v Argentine also promises to be an outstanding encounter with the Irish needing to score 4 tries against the only team yet to concede a try!!
All in all it promises to be a wonderfull weekend with rugby being the real winner!!

  • 41.
  • At 09:39 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • tomthepom wrote:

drink into parc des princes? no, not legally into any ground. although the gate-staff in nantes were allowing you to walk in carrying a pint. and you can't get proper beer inside, only amstel free (the free relates to the alcohol content, not the cost!)

you can drink in bars around the ground, the only other solution is to smuggle in miniatures or hipflasks and mix with coke/lemonade etc - even here they insist on removing the lids from the bottles at point-of-sale...

good luck this weekend everyone!

  • 42.
  • At 09:55 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Fraser wrote:

Where are these 4 tries going to come from? I haven't seen anything so far that suggests Ireland will score any more that 1, nor that Argentina will open the game up and allow a try fest. I genuinely want Ireland to win, but I would go further than post 26 in that this team peaked last summer when they went to the Australia/New Zealand and played some great rugby after a tough season (nearly winning the Grand Slam/Munster winning the European Cup).

I would like to apologize on behalf of my country, which occasionally produces half-wits like ‘William Wallace’ (post 31). Plainly know nowt about rugby, as England fully deserved to win the 2003 WC, even if at times it wasn’t pretty.

Dirsy, are you not shaving until England are knocked out like George Chuter? Have to say, his beard is slightly more impressive . . .

  • 43.
  • At 10:26 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • tim c wrote:

Morning , Just been to knokke lourdes next,Miracles do happen and yes i believe in santa and the tooth fairy . As father Ted said have faith and slainte

  • 44.
  • At 10:35 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • tomthepom wrote:

i see the haka blog has been closed. i just pasted the entire text into a word doc and did a word count. 103,767 - enough for a novel!

  • 45.
  • At 11:33 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • honest tim wrote:

ireland - you are the weakest link - goodbye

  • 46.
  • At 11:48 AM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Ronnie wrote:

Dirsy.....is that a little ginger showing itself in your beard sunshine????

  • 47.
  • At 12:17 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Margie wrote:

William Wallace, (post 31)

Congratulations - if your intention was to wind up England fans, then you've succeeded.

Why don't you wait until Scotland have won both a football and a rugby world cup before you get on your high horse again.....

  • 48.
  • At 02:11 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • waspometer wrote:

Has the new irish song joke been done yet ??

"Four tries for me, Argentina"


bwaa ha
bwaa ha

  • 49.
  • At 02:12 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Karl wrote:

Worst case scenario, Ireland continue to play terrible rugby and we get hammered by an excellent Puma side. All I can hope for is that we at least put up a fight.

  • 50.
  • At 03:02 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • tim c wrote:

post 31
I hope you have a better end than your name sake .
Emasculation and being hung drawn and quartered seems a bit excessive .Even for a jock but then again??
Our 1st XV may not be the best but at least they turn up. OR is it that we are so bad we don"t have a 2nd xv.
DISCUSS!!!

  • 51.
  • At 03:07 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • Alastair Gillies wrote:

I see Honest Tim but Dim is in full flow again (no 45) - and still as dim as ever. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Tonga beat England tonight. And when did England last beat Ireland? 2003! Come on Tonga!

  • 52.
  • At 06:50 PM on 28 Sep 2007,
  • chesera wrote:

If the teams to relax before 'that was the weekend that was' are considering appropriate telly to watch - would there be obvious candidates

Scotland - Porridge
England - Dad's Army
Ireland - Whatever happened to the Likely Lads or 'Early Doors'
Wales - The League of Gentlemen

others?
NZ - The Mighty Boosh
Aus - Love Thy Neighbour

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