主播大秀

So that's the election over with. We had a policeman in. Normally the local special does whatever needs doing, but not this year. Off the boat (a day early because of the timetable,) comes a 'proper' policeman from Oban. As the hotel is the source of all information there is a steady stream of people wanting to know why he is in. They don't really believe the election is a reason, they go away still looking suspicious. The proper policeman has his knife-proof vest and a belt with all the latest police-tools; handcuffs, sticks and a radio that constantly interrupts. I'm not sure when Coll elections were first deemed as dangerous as Zimbabwean ones! The following day, fortified with the best Coll fried eggs he goes off to monitor the polling station.
I go to vote at five. He isn't there, but I've left the golf clubs at home so the flimsy ballot boxes go unmolested. There are two of us voting, so the ladies guarding the boxes give us instructions on how to vote. We listen very intently as we suspect we may be tested before we get the precious ballot papers. I look at the list of local councillors. I've read all the bumf, and it has gelled into an amorphous group of promises to do the same stuff. Five out of the eight are Mac-something and the only name I can remember was the one I definitely wasn't going to vote for. I play safe and vote for all the Mull residents. The papers slide satisfyingly down into the ballot boxes. I'm sure the boxes were made on Blue Peter. They are probably recyclable and made of recycled material, but I prefered the metal boxes that were re-used, although I suppose they were a pain to store. The proper policeman likes the new boxes, they aren't as heavy. He has to deliver them to the helicopter which takes them to the counting house. Our helicopter probably worked because we had a proper policeman. He is back at the hotel just after the helicopter flies away. No riots on Coll so a job well done, preventative policing at its best (cynical? Me?). And we had about 70% turnout, a bit down I think on the last election, maybe everyone was on the beach.