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ohhh no the powers that be may have finaly crushed your spirit.

More like the Fonz on the old photo!

And is that a tan I see on the good doctor?
How can that be if he has seen up to 5 films a day?

Own up Doc –Ìýyou're a closet sun seeker aren't you?

cheer up doc , wisdom comes with age.

Hey Dr K.

I know you've been busy and the days have been hectic with film screenings, movie reviews, interviews and video blog making but we've been busy too. I was hoping that after you get back to England you could do a blog to address some of our questions, theories and ideas regarding your trip to Cannes. Thanks.

Could be worse, you could be in Cannes. ;)

don't worry mark, you look much better now ;D

Kermode, listen (well, you know). Study that photo, then the mirror. Photo. Mirror. Photo-mirror. See? Then you looked like A TOTAL PRAT. Now you don't. Call it maturing like a fine wine or cheese or other French delicacies, you've doubtless been scoffing down there in your humble little *palatial, five-star hotel*.

So :
- Stop whining
- Update the photo with one of your genuinely slick portraits (like the one used on the Kermode Uncut banner)
- Relax and enjoy your new found middle-aged coolness... while it lasts.

Your quiff in the picture looks as if it was swept to your left hand side. That was probably what threw them.
Make your next picture look 15 years older then you actually are, so it feels as if you never aged

A bottle of Just For Men and a self important swagger maybe the weapons to use against those handball loving surrender monkeys.

"The only similarity, 'e is a bit rock-a-billy!"

That's brilliant.

It might just be a slightly blurred video but I think you look astonishingly similar (disregarding the ash grey mane)

The three stages of Kermode: Mark Lamarr, Mark (As he is now), Michael Portillo. Portillo is apparently 10 yrs older than you, so a photo of him would fit FriskyDingo's suggestion.

P.S. I know Lamarr is only 3 years younger than the Doc but I remember watching him on TV before I knew about the one with the superior quiff.

Don't worry - you are still an immature rockabilly kid on the inside *g*

Bless!
I'm a bit dubious about the "I don't know how to do it" quote regarding updating your photo though! Smacks of not wanting to let go of some link to your youth to me ;) Were you a Wham fan by any chance?
Just be glad and amazed that you've managed to get away with it for so long!!
I wonder if your passport photo is the same one???

A bottle of Just for Men, Botox, and a bit of plastic surgery should do the trick.

Perhaps the time has come for Dr. K to buy some hair dye?

that's what happens when you skimp on the boot polish

good move on losing the biker jacket

so which film critics do you hang out with? who's the best laugh? and who do you disagree with the most but repect at the same time? Do you influence each other's opinions? i don't really expect you to answer any of these questions
also, can you tell by a film critics' body language whether they like the film or not as you're watching it?

Maybe we all know that real meltdown will come when the good doctor gets back to blighty and is told that Pirates of the Caribbean 4 will be in 3D.

Noble Doc,

I've just had a vision. A film should now be in the works: The Film Critic, starring Mickey Rourke as Mark Kermode.

Well the hair might have changed color but the style is still the same

I wanted to hear tales of high drama, intrigue, wheeler dealing, and Hunter S. Thompson style bacchanalian excess.

Not "the jostling today got particularly strong".

Worry ye not good doctor I too have a picture on my employee ID badge that when it needs renewing ( which is imminent) will in fact break my little heart. As much I'd I'd like to keep it, I realise people do a double take when they see it, as the only thing that look remotely familiar are my eyebrows. :-( Bet Johnny Depp( AKA Dorian Gray) never has this problem? Forever Young....Forever Cursed...Yeah Right..

Dr. K, you're forgetting the one fundamental thing that could've avoided so much heart-ache: update the picture. Problem solved.

P.S. Just bought the book. Very Funny.

Dr K should have said he was more skiffle than rockabilly, and he was being confusing him with with Mark Lemarr

Time to buy a motorbike methinks...

So, as a movie going experience it's been cr@p then. Go to Sundance.

So this year instead of a mental meltdown we get quiet, soul-crushing despair of and passive humiliation at the hands of foreigners.

Neat.

Hah-hah!! That's hilarious.

Surely the 'Mighty Quiff of Awesomeness' should have been sufficient I.D. enough...

Chin up, Doctor K. You're not old - just more distinguished. But probably best to update that photo before next year.

How saddening and distressing for the good Dr. With age comes responsibility, wisdom, grace and unfortunately grey hair and lines. You still look senstational dahhhhling, I quite think the hair colour suits you now. Mind you, love the leather jacket in the photo ID. Just think of the outdated picture as the promise of what is.

I love that the photo itself looks utterly dejected by the encounter.

Ahhhh, true. With age comes wisdom...which is about as comforting as the teeth we named after it.

Am I nit-picking? In the Robin Hood poster around Prague the arrow that Russell Crowe is about to unleash has a target or practice tip. We expect more from a man with a mission. R

Poor Dr K.
I don't wish to lower the tone of the lofty film-buff conversation around here but... I still would, and I'm 20 years your junior.
Like a Clooney or a Connery you have matured like a fine wine (was going to say stinky cheese but didn't want to break the mood) - and your quiff looks better than ever. You should have given him a good old slap with your big flappy hands :-)

No meltdown? next year we're sending Werner Herzog and Russell Crowe with an air rifle, that should put the fear in 'im!

Don't miss the meltdown, frankly, Dr K. suffers enough for his art and our amusement, having to sit through Godard and Allen.

One suggestion, if the id issue comes up again, offer the offending bouncer a pair of 3D glasses, which should do the trick, it's all they're good for....

Shame about the lack of meltdown... must be getting mellow in your old age... ;)

I got ID'd at a bar the other as, despite having just turned 24, I have the face of a 14 year old (fortunately, sans acne...!). The barman (who I'm fairly sure was younger than me) said "huh. nice try..." then proceeded to attempt to break my 100% genuine british driving license open! when he finally realised that the license was 6 years old, he finally desisted, we continued the transaction in a more than awkward silence.

So, I share your pain Mark!

It's okay Mark. You may be getting older (like we all are), but that guy can't change the fact that he's French, either.