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Terrifically done, Sir!

I've stopped going to see movies in those multiplexes, mostly because they don't show any movies that I actually want to see, or are worth the money. I stopped almost as soon as or some time after the cinema that had been there for over 75 years, closed down and was reduced to rubble.

That place was great, it had an atmosphere, it was part of the town's history and they had projectionists and ushers, ushers who did tell kids off... And I didn't mind that the The X Files (Fight The Future) movie suddenly stopped, turned upside down and started going backwards. The problem was sorted in 5 minutes... because there was a PERSON on hand to sort it out. And it's a memory that has stuck with me and I always smile when remembering it. :-) I also saw The Exorcist in there, I was the only person in the theatre on a very windy day, the wind was so strong it was blowing through the building causing the doors to bang, it added to the experience.

Finally, somebody has drawn attention to this issue of 'the invisible projectionist', nice one Mark!

I'll hereby like to name and shame one particular cinema, Odeon Tunbridge Wells, as being a terrible example of said invisibility with it's regularly uncorrected anamorphic projections. THEY DRIVE ME INSANE!

In 2010 I was witness to four separate screenings where the audience just sat, angrily shouting out, to an evidently invisible projectionist, that something was wrong with the picture. Each time this has been the dreaded uncorrected 2.35.1 aspect ratio -or 'stretchy heads' as termed by regulars at this particular Odeon.

Despite complaints, this year has seen at least another three occasions of this problem reoccurring. It's clearly all down to 'the invisible projectionist' syndrome, and at £8.50 for a standard priced seat, it's a bloody outrage!

A praiseworthy campaign, though the errors you described are far more likely to be attributable to a (negligent) projectionist using a traditional 35mm projector than an automated digital machine gone awry. You're pretty dang unlikely to get a rack in a Digital projector, have the film spooled incorrectly (or alternating reels joined wrongly), or miss a lens change. You're far more likely to have no sound or the screen masking fail to resize, however. Don't get me wrong, however, I was a projectionist for some time at an independent cinema and support your idea. The problem comes when there is a mix of 35mm & digital screenings in a theatre and staffing levels only commensurate with all digital screenings.

Having read the book I was astonished to see that I wasn't the only person to be told "well no one's complaining" about the focus or sound or a section of picture spilling over - as if to say I am not someone but something less.

I always thought that the one possible appropriate use of a mobile phone in a cinema would be if you could call a direct line to the projectionist booth to tell them to fix the sound/aspect ratio/framing/broken film/pull the curtain aside, etc. With no one there, a computer will be in charge now, perhaps the audience should have a giant mouse with which to click on:

[You have clicked on 'Help' to indicate that there is ]
[a problem with this screening. Do you require.......]
[_____(Help)____(Cancel)_____(Exit)____(OK)____]


[There is a problem with the following:___________]
[Click all that apply:__________________________]
[___(Sound)____(Focus)_____(Aspect_Ratio)_____]
[(Dimness_on_a_2d_film_cause_we_left_the_3d_lens_on)]
[__(Michael_Bay_or_Zak_Snyder_directed_the_film)___]


[To continue the screening please enter the_____]
[25 digit license key__________________________]
[___---------------------------_______________]
[and the 10 digit real time encryption pass key___]
[___----------______________________________]
[Then click on "OK"__________________________]
[___(Help)___(Cancel)___(Exit)___(Yes)___(No)__]

... and so on. How any corporate moron with the least experience of using technology could find economy in removing the overseeing eyes of a projectionist, regardless of which projection tech is in use, is mind boggling. The real conclusion is that once they have your money and you're through the door. They. Don't. Care.

Supporting independent cinema is well and good, but that sidesteps fixing the viewing problem for everyone. Given the ever higher prices of tickets the multiplex operators need to deliver a quality product, the films projected in optimum fashion. I have had my involvement with a film unduly shattered not just by poor projection, or by other inconsiderate patrons, but by the simplest of things, a dirty smudged screen. In the end we need to empower people to demand refunds for poor screening, the only motivation for change is economic. Otherwise the home cinema will sadly become "the way movies were meant to be seen".

I frequent both multiplexes (think Odeon Leicester Square) and smaller joints (like Birmingham's Electric Cinema, or Richmond's Curzon) and have seen films on both digital and 35mm projectors, and I've never experienced faulty image problems with either; I must be pretty lucky?

In 2004/05, when I worked for UGC Cinemas (now known as Cineworld), I was ecstatic because they held a Japanese film festival one month and I was exposed to a whole range of beautiful, fantastic movies that I would never have heard of otherwise, so I'm not convinced that multiplexes are all bad.

I agree that some people in the theatre need to shut the hell up and stop ruining other people's enjoyment of the movie with their bright mobile phone screens, though.

I've enjoyed your book/200 page + rant. However Graham Chapman on Amazon didn't. Did that meeting, in the chapter in which you revealed your crush on Zac Efron, with the gormless teen at the ticket desk really happen? He seems too stupid for it be true. It’s not that Odeon and VUE do not show films that do not interest me but the lack any range of films they show. Screens are dominated by Transformers and the next superhero movie. They are normally tedious blockbusters however I am looking forward to that Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy film though. On the topic of bad projections and irritating audiences I’ve never experienced any of the horror stories that others have had while in the cinema, possibly I don’t go enough.

I've had two negative experiences recently in the multiplex.

The first was while watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. Anyone who's seen the film will know it starts off VERY quietly, with scenes of dialogue and dramatic exposition (largely thanks a welcome appearance by the great John Hurt). Well, in the cinema where I was watching this, someone's mobile phone went off. There were the usual annoyed grunts from across the screen but then to everyone's astoundment, the person answered and began a conversation! It wasn't even, "I'm in the cinema, I'll call you back," it was a full-blown chat which just went on and on and on.

I got up and made for the exit to report this blatant breach of the Code of Conduct but a friend touched my arm and whispered, "Just wait a sec, they'll stop soon." They didn't. They carried on talking. The audacity and sheer rudeness of it all was incredible. I charged out, heads turning to regard me as I went, and grabbed the nearest bored-looking staff member. To his credit he did come in to the screen and watch the audience but by then the person had stopped. I had missed a few minutes of one of the most exciting parts of the film, however.

Another less-annoying experience was watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes. One of the speakers was hissing, not noticeable at all during the louder scenes but since most of the film was quiet dialogue, it was quite intrusive. My friend went to report this to the staff and they said they'd check it out. They didn't.

A projectionist wouldn't have solved either of these but if members of the public actually turned of their freaking mobile phones in case 1, and staff used another screen instead in case 2, both my cinema experiences would have been perfect. And that's all I ask when I pay £7.50 per ticket.

I'm reading your new book now Mark and I'm loving it so far. I wish I could read out the chapter on 3D to everyone I know, non-stop, until they completely agree with me about the superfluousness of it all (they all agree with me that it ruins the drama of a film, but some say it is fun for kids.... grrr).

As a person working in a "independent" cinema ( European,art house etc ) I can't tell you how right you are in relation to the problems caused by the absence of a qualified projectionist. Only last night did our new server/ digital projector decide to stop working half through The skin I live in. 41 angry customers and a lot of apologizing later I started to reminisce the days of a skilled projectionist. Thats only one example of a long list of problems. On a slightly different subject one of my and fellow colleagues concerns of late is in the hijacking of alternative cinema by Opera, theatre, ballet live shows. Huge areas of programing time has been taken up by these events along with their repeated shows. They tend to attract a very small section of moneyed society. Ive no real problem with this but film, Q and A's cinema related events have suffered greatly. I can understand why we do them but working in a cinema aint what i used to be.

I have lived in Japan now for 8 years and have been to the cinema almost every week in that time... and I can honestly say that I have not experienced a SINGLE problem with the image or sound, in any cinema, big or small, in all that time. Not only that but the Japanese audiences are UTTERLY silent throughout every single film that I have ever seen. (Not including comedies) I have never once been to a noisy cinema with people talking all over the film. Not ONCE in eight years at any time of the day. This makes me wonder if it is a regional problem and as a result a (relatively) simple issue with regards to worker competence, effort and the general public's perception and respect with regards to his/her fellow man/woman in the cinema.

The Japanese, no matter what they are doing, they will do that job well. From convenience store clerk to the workers in the MANY multiplex cinemas here, they just get on with it and they dont make mistakes. So the films are always projected correctly and the sound is always good. Of course, Im SURE that every now and then stuff happens but it has never happened to me.

I think that there is no EASY solution to this in the west. But if there is not a problem in the vast majority of Japanese Multiplex cinemas then there is no reason why there should be any problem in the western ones either. It is quite hard for me to imagine having the problems that English cinemas seem to have! Mark, if you ever come to Japan I hope that I can take you to one of the local multiplexes that I go to so you can see the difference... The only problem that we have here in Japan with regards to movies... is that they always come out about four months late...

When I volunteered for the Leeds International Film Festival, there were SEVERAL malfunctions at the VUE cinema's screenings which were only rectified because us volunteers were on hand to let the staff know. Having said that, the digital projection at the Hyde Park Picture House was a bit iffy when they first installed it too - the contrast was all wrong, like the screen was tilted at the wrong angle or something. I think they've sorted it out now, though. I can't stay angry at the HPPH, it's such a glorious old cinema. The Broadway in Nottingham is exceptional too of course. It's a shame the Screen Room (Britain's smallest cinema) had to close, though - it had a great atmosphere and was brilliant if you'd missed a film's first run, because they always got the prints later.

It's classic short-termism. Pushing up the profits by degrading the experience means that, with large HD-TVs becoming more affordable and ubiquitous, in the long run people will increasingly wait for the Blu-ray. To be honest, with the price of a ticket and the quality of most local cinemas, it's often something I'm tempted to do already.

Sigh, sounds so fun, but those of us stateside can't watch it.

I totally agree. While 35mm projection too has its problems, and digital projection has many benefits, I don't think we should entirely do away with people manning these systems.

My local multiplex has 13 screens: two levels of six screens each, with a smaller screen elsewhere in the building. I was given a tour of one of the projection booths; this one booth caters for six screens, it's huge! As I walked through (in what felt like a Doctor Who scene with all the darkness and flashing lights), I could see the films playing through the windows either side of me. There was another of these booths upstairs.

Now, all they would need is a projectionist per booth who cared enough to spend their (paid) time walking down each side, looking through the windows and ensuring the films were running okay, and fixing any problems that ensued.

Oh, and that's another thing - I was given the tour by a manager, and apart from us, the booth was empty. All 6 screens were up and running, but there was no sign of a projectionist. Really?

I heard a bit of Mark being interviewed by Richard Bacon this afternoon regarding the role of projectionists, and while I've heard him reiterate his points many times with Simon, he hit the nail right on the head. Bacon's point was that digitisation, mechanisation has always been with us; it's progress. But Mark's point was that regardless, we will still need a human being to check on it. In the same way that if you're watching a DVD (Mark actually used this analogy) and something goes wrong with it, it doesn't eject itself or put itself back on the shelf. It requires human input. It requires a human mind to oversee the process, and make adjustments accordingly. And citing two examples of just how badly digital projection can go wrong, in two different and supposedly high-tech cinemas in London, he well and truly made the case.

Even though I speak as someone who hasn't been to the cinema since '96, I find it utterly ludicrous that apparently millions of people are happy to go to watch a film which is being shown upside-down, off centre, too dark, or at the wrong ratio, without saying a word. If this were any other product or service, you'd all be lining up to demand your money back. You'd be on Watchdog telling Anne Robinson how miserable the service is and that you demand recompense! What the hell is wrong with you people? You've allowed it to get this bad. You can very easily vote with your feet, stay away from the cinemas and bring the industry crashing down, until they see sense. Just imagine: hundreds of cinema-goers staging a sit-in, refusing to leave, demanding a refund for the incompetence they had to endure. That'd get their attention.

The multiplex promised greater choice in more modern surroundings, but instead we have the same mass appeal blockbusters on multiple screens with scant regard for ensuring a pleasant experience for the audience. You shuffle into the brightly lit foyer & after the self service ticket machines reject your card for the 3rd time you go to buy a ticket, not from a dedicated box office but from the refreshments counter, then someone rips your ticket & lazily points you in the general direction of your chosen screen, you stumble around in the dark trying to find your seat guided only by the light of your mobile & all that before you have to endure fellow patrons talking, or the ringing of their mobiles, or kicking the back of your seat etc . & why? Because going to the movies is not seen as an event any more, people treat it like watching telly at home. Is it any wonder when it has become such a bland experience with staff that don’t give a damn about their patrons? It’s no surprise that people are resorting to downloading films & watching them in the comfort of their own homes on high end home cinema equipment. I remember the good old days of usherettes, where films had an interval!! One memorable example being Dances With Wolves, after a Native American chap had taken a bite out of a buffalo heart it was time for the interval & we strolled down to the front to buy Kiaora & ice cream with those little wooden spoons.

This sounds like someone banging on about the good old days. But it’s simply about wanting cinema to be an experience like it should be. Why can we only find this experience in independent cinemas? The multiplexes should be offering this rather than being just a big neon machine that smells of dubious meat tubes & sugar soaked beverages where people are herded in one end &, after two hours of loud explosions (in 3D), spat out the other!

#11 Size,

Unfortunately, you may have a point. If indeed the Japanese can do it without the kinds of problems we do, then that perhaps suggests that - like everything else these days in the wake of the recent riots - it comes down to respect, etiquette, politeness, manners, and up-bringing. It could just be a cultural problem behind this, rather than a technological problem. In which case, I don't know how we fix it, given that our cultural problems take generations to materialise.

#14 Mike,

Well, we get the same problem when trying to watch clips of The Daily Show and other shows from the States on-line. Americans don't pay the Ö÷²¥´óÐã Licence Fee. It's just the way it is.

I payed nine dollars to see Midnight in Paris at my local multiplex theater, one of the most popular ones in my city. The screen was fuzzy, the sound was muffled and the theater was drafty. The only way to see a proper looking film there is to go to a digital projection showing for 5 dollars more. Suffice to say, I got my nine bucks back and I'm never going back there again.

My local multiplex have actually doen something good and have a cheap tuesday which is only 2.95 per film, the double bill is an often occurence for me. The downside is the usual idiots, during a recent trip to watch Rise Of The Planets Of The Apes, I had to put up with a girl texting every 5 minutes (No Exagarration!) unfortunately I couldn't get out due to it being busy and tell the staff. I contacted the cinema afterwards and was told they are trying to stop this especially as they could see it as copyright theft. Maybe they should try having staff in screen or even put up signs warning that phone use is forbidden!

I had a bad experience yesterday.

The new breed of projectionist's in Cineworld in Cardiff can't even click the mouse as the whole audience were waiting for Cowboy's & Aliens yesterday (17:50 showing). We were waiting just for anything to come onto the screen for 15 minutes (not even the ads came on).

So I left the theatre and told someone and got the “Don't worry it will start soon" by the ticket bloke and another 10 mins went and still nothing. The ad's should have started 25 mins ago at this point now but then a couple of others complain and then finally after 35 mins I think we have light.
But they have the cheek to put the ads on which means the film will be finishing later and I'm going to have more of my time wasted. Never mind the next audience being messed around when the next film starts which did happen because as I left the theatre, there was a massive line of people waiting for our film to finish.

Thank God I enjoyed the film but this isn't the first time that Cineworld have seriously dropped the ball and it's getting worse if anything.

And they wonder why people download screeners instead...

Your idea for publically funded independent cinema's does have alot of merit however it does suffer from the one fatal flaw of the DCMS. I can easily see them scrapping this idea after a few years and then suggest that the cinema's follow the example set by the big multiplexes they were set up to counter.

I was about to say that I have never had a problem with the projection at Cineworld in Cardiff. Also they tend to show a decent range of films too- even those with subtitles.

Re-digital: it's the future. It easier and cheaper which will mean, in theory, few distribution problems, the bane of independent films. But you are right to say we need better trained staff who can actually get it projected the way it ought to be.

I couldnt agree more, I work in a independant cinema, I am now working volanteraly because the multiplex's have taken over cinemas like ours. It is also very hard for us to get films now because it is cheaper and easyer to make and distribute films on didgital rather than 35mm.

@Physiocrat
It's been getting silly now but it's mainly with sound they have problems in Cardiff, it has happend before but it never happend when cinema's were really cinemas.
The screen I was in was a digital one as well and not only that but they are making the staff do 3-4 jobs at the same time in some parts and times clearly from what I have seen and have very little training. When I went to get my tickets there was no one serving on the downstairs tills just signs everywhere "Go to floors 1-3 to get your tickets" and they have this poor fella serving food & drinks and doing tickets for all the films starting on the first floor. I went to the third floor as I know people in general are like sheep and it was dead on the third floor with one person cleaning up and two talking where they check the tickets. There is clearly zero comunications even though all of them have walkie talkies and act like the SAS over a toilet that needs cleaning when there are other serious things they should be doing.

Just madness and it's getting more frequeant now.

As one who truly laments the loss of the 'old style' cinema's I was brought up with and have so many happy memories of, sadly we are stuck with the multiplexes like it or lump it. One I make a bit of an extra journey for is the Apollo in Port Talbot a six screener (deceptive in size it's like the Tardis!) it tries to maintain a little bit of the 'old fashioned' style. Ushers regularly patrol, never had a problem with picture quality, won't stand for any unruly teens, and the staff make you feel like a valued customer. And as you come out of the cinema as it's virtually built on the beach no matter what film you've seen good,bad,or indifferent the view across the sea is always a welcome sight!

The risk here is sounding like my husband and numerous friends waxing lyrical about the wonderful days of vinyl while actually listening to spotify or i tunes - the vinyl coming out on whisky fueled teary eyed evenings. I'm not a fan of this sort of nostalgia and feel faintly sick and head off to bed when this starts.

i haven't yet read the book - i will (i even read your PHD thesis on The Exorcist!). To me the issue isn't about how it was all in the past which risks accusations of begin a Luddite, but how it should be now. Someone to put reels on is no longer needed, but there is still need of a digital operator who checks film projection - a different but still essential skill.

With the advent of computers we may be able to do some of our typing ourselves but the need for clerical staff will always remain to ensure quality.

A while ago I took my children to a screening of 'Spy Kids". (having carefully checked suitability of certificate).I was surprised to see a trailer for Alien versus Predator but sat through this thinking through my complaint later. Then to my shock KIll Bill started playing! fortunately i had been told my a friend that the beginning of Kill Bill was shocking and managed to get the girls out quickly. I told the other families who were sitting with young children through very adult footage, they didn't seem to care and carried on watching - probably more concerned about the flavour of popcorn. Anyway we did get it changed and really enjoyed the first Spy Kids -

So this is why projection has been so dodgy the past few years - I never realised there is simply no one there to fix it! I'm 18 and was very excited last year to see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - only to have the entire film projected half way down the screen. I guessed at the time that it was the film's aspect ratio changes that had led to the image being set up wrong. Was very annoying. Also it seemed to be very quiet - I had to strain to hear the dialogue.

A similar thing happened with Kick-Ass - the entire opening projected in the wrong ratio resulting the Universal globe looking more like an egg!

Also ended up seeing the opening of Tron:Legacy three times as, after 10 minutes, the image went to black but the sound continued. We were told to wait for the next screening of the film in a hours time, only for the same thing to happen again - and then again!

So I stole a couple of glow-in-the-dark Tron t-shirts on the way out as compensation...

#16 I_am_I

I have complained about faulty projection (one multiplex I used to go to regularly made a habit (possibly even a 'feature') of showing the first ten minutes of the film 'stretched' before the automatic correction kicked in (the only person I ever found to complain to in the building explained – "just wait a bit and it'll sort itself out"). I eventually wrote a series of scathing e-mails to the chain concerned and did, at least, get a refund (though they lost a customer).

I recommend bombarding the relevant cinema's in-box with complaints the next time this happens to you. In Mark's words: you've only shown me 80% of the film – how about I only pay you 80% of the entrance money?

I have, by the way, seen ushers in recent screenings – they are there to make sure that people who have paid for 'ordinary' seats don't sit in the 'luxury' ones. And, at one 'adult only' viewing, to remind people to turn off their phones. (I have yet to work out why they feel the need to remind 'adults' of this and not all audiences.)

Off now to read Mark's book, which arrived this morning and needs to be prized from my partner's grip.

Dr Kermode, on page 185 of your new book you ask Kim Newman's opinion of the movie Saw 3D, he replies "disappointingly flat". Is this supposed to be a joke? I need to know as your response could change the whole reading of the text... And talking of this whole 3D thing; ya gotta let it go man, you're becoming a tad fixated.

My problem with digital projection is that it's too bright. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's like watching TV in the dark, it gives me a headache because it seems so much brighter in comparison to traditional projection. I would, though, rather have an usher than a projectionist. My local cinemas don't have either.

I started going to the cinema on a regular basis in 1984 and from then till about 2000, only once did I have cause to complain that the film wasn't being shown correctly: at my local 2-screen the original Hitcher was projected out of focus. Other than that, proper projection was a given. In recent years the odds have become about one in three that a multiplex 35mm screening would be incorrectly gauged (particularly awkward with subtitled films), shown through the wrong lens (usually a scope film projected through the non-scope lens so everyone's idiotically tall - when I complained about this at a screening of RIGHTEOUS KILL the ushers actually suggested it might have been made that way!) or just out of focus. I had to complain that I AM NUMBER FOUR was shown without the projector's output being blocked so huge chunks of image were projected onto the masking at the bottom of the screen, down to the floor. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN was shown out of focus. MESRINE PART 1 didn't start, then started silent, then continued with the house lights still up. THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR PARNASSUS was shown with the sound turned down to the point where you couldn't make out the dialogue.

Digital projection won't go out of gauge or out of focus or upside down (I've never seen this happen with 35mm, to be fair). But it depends upon it all being set up correctly in the first place. Yesterday's digital showing of COLOMBIANA was actually slightly down on the screen so there's a slight band of image on the bottom masking and a slight band of blank screen at the top. A matter of inches, but having spent the other weekend at the FrightFest at the Empire Leicester Square where every (digital) screening was projected to millimetre precision over a far greater throw, it's clear these things can be done if the people concerned actually do them. Some months ago I saw a digital screening of HANNA which was, despite the technology, slightly out of focus. Half an hour later I was in 13 ASSASSINS projected perfectly well on 35mm.

I'm totally convinced that we have now all been deliberately conned by the big mainstream cinema chains (ie Cineworld or Odeon) that now dominate the market in the UK.

In the past I was informed by Cineworld that when my local multiplex, based here in Ipswich, eventually switched over from 35 mm to digital projection, they would start screening far more independent, art house, foreign and specialised movies.

This was apparently due to the fact that it would now be far easier to obtain a digital print of a film from the distributor, than the old 35 mm celluloid type version.

In reality the reverse has actually happened and we are now incredibly lucky if the multiplex in Ipswich shows anything other than the usual mainstream Hollywood detritus.

As a consequence of this myopic policy I have now terminated my Unlimited Card.

So far I've yet to endure a movie at a multiplex out of focus etc... due to it not being projected properly but I can well believe it happens but I have had to endure people talking and noisy ejits not being controlled by their parents because their is no usher and when you complain, the 17 year old oink just looks at you blankly.

To many times it's been left up to me (the paying customer to shut) to shut said people talking and noisy ejits running around by complaining to the person talking/parents. I really shouldn't have to do this and guess what it's not once happened in my local independent cinema.

People are respectful there. You wouldn't do this in a theatre! It's exactly the same.

I rarely go to multiplexes anyway (only when I have to), they charge twice the price for one thing and it's simply not true you must have the biggest screen to enjoy a film at it's best. My independent cinema hasn't invested in 3D. I wonder why?

Don't get me wrong, but the Hollywood production slop is perfectly enjoyable and has its place. As such, this cinematic chocolate is nice, but the lovingly crafted film that tends to (more likely) frequent the Arthouse I find much better since I feel the care made for such films better. While I find the experience in both the Arthouse and the Multiplex often enjoyable, the Arthouse has the edge!!

You know Mark, that I believe to be the saddest thing about multiplexes is how they have damaged the CULTURE of cinema. I envy Mark's tales of sitting in run down cinemas and tracking down classic films with audiences. It's rare that I see much of anything other than big blockbusters in the cinema because while there other cinemas around, they are generally a significant distance away, and the one that most often shows films of interest to me is in a part of town I'd generally rather not visit.

This isn't to say that there's no pleasure in DVD and having the whole filmography of David Cronenberg or Terry Gilliam at my fingertips, but there's frustratingly no one to talk about the films with after I've seen them, no mystique to horror movies that were once controversial and sitting a whole theater full of people thinking "I saw that too!" I see the DVD uncut, of course, buy I just think the mystique is gone. There aren't many like-minded folks around who love to discuss the merits of George Romero or who have a clue who Dario Argento is. There's the Internet, of course, but it's no substitute. I'm heartened to hear about movies I'd otherwise have no interest in on the podcast, but it often takes months to find a DVD release. I sometime come to the xenophobic conclusion listening to the call-ins on the show that this perhaps hasn't hit quite as hard in the UK, but stateside, the culture of cinema that isn't directed by Michael Bay seems ghettoized to me.

My local multiplex was actually showing AT LEAST three different screen with Pirates 4: an IMAX version, a 3-D version, and a 2-D version. Actually, it was at least five given the different showtimes, if not more, and really, that's not something the world need. It's almost always loaded with Transformers or Fast and Furious. There are "events" where some odd things get shuffled in, and sometimes more esoteric cinema gets shuffled in. The problem is that not only is this a rarity, but that it's usually for a very short time and I'm often unable to see it. Terence Malick's latest film can't have been in my local multiplex for more than a week or two, and I missed my opportunity. Occasionally, critical or particularly award buzz will get films like The King's Speech into cinema, but it takes that kind of clout. There's an old one-screen cinema nearby that shows classic features, but almost always on the night I have to work late. It sometimes seems to diminish my passion for cinema, as despite having a stack of DVDs, without someone to talk to about them, I feel no urgency. The upside is of course that the Internet and DVDs allow me to hear about and see many things that once would have been impossible to see, but I'll never know the charm of a run-down theater with sticky floors showing a screening of Evil Dead. And that's just sad.

I couldn't agree more with mike. I had seen my lack of company at the cinema being down to poor husband choice and bad personal hygiene, neither of which are really true. There is just a change of culture in the way we view films people often aren't fussed about seeing a film in the cinema now they have ridiculous sized tv's in their front rooms. So when people do go to the cinema it has become a social occasion which isn't limited to detailed discussion over a half a lagar when the credits have rolled, but people use the cinema as they do their front room forgetting there might be people there who want to loose themselves in the film. I do still have wonderful film moments. Seeing precious in our local art houses cinemas was one of the most moving experiences i have had. The whole audience sat in complete silence during the whole film and didn't move as the credits rolled, fantastic film enhanced by the audience

I went to the cinema recently with my Mum (I know, what a saint I am) and my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are avid cinema-goers and have cinema-cards, meaning we see the films for a relatively fair price. My mother, however, paid a whopping £8-13 for her ticket! And what is more, half the films I am interested in are not shown at this cinema; perhaps more prominently put, more than half of the films shown at my cinema I hate: absolute drivel. There is no feeling of suave; no sense of watching film and then having a discussing it in a café (as I used to in the golden days) afterwards. They chuck us in and sweep us out. I am a reasonable guy; I have been raised in this society and realise what sort of place it is -- what people/businesses need to do to get by, to make money. So I am understanding of the plight that the modern business has to go through; for hiring staff is expensive, and having leather couches instead of sticky chairs is not pragmatic. Indeed, they really do ship us in and hip us out in droves. But all that would not bother me so much if it was not for the fact that I can just wait a while and buy the film, for up to a quarter of the price from an internet retailer. I mean £8 could get me 4 average films, 3 good films, 2 great films, or 1 festering lunacy at my local cinema. Turn down the lights, switch off the phone, pump up the noise, and push the couch closer to the tele -- that is the way forward.

mrs fluffles and I recently went to our world of cine where I spoke to the manager informing her that the movie was slightly out of focus and way too bright. I was told that "the technician is visiting tomorrow and I will let him know, thank you for telling me"

another gripe is that world of cine has rows of seats approx 100cm from the screen. whats the point of them ? i cant sit that close to my TV. I Q'd for Avatar and these were the only seats left, I couldn't really see anything in anyD let alone 3D so left and got refunded

I agree with Mike who posted above, often several screens are taken up showing exactly the same film in different formats. More is less.

At the moment 2 and 3D smurfs, still harry potter but no Kill List. meh

iF Kill List does not start to get more widely shown soon, it will just go to demonstrate that these chains are completely out of touch with audiences - that film has the potential to be our generation's Exorcist (and more). It scared the s**t out of me and I'm really not easily shocked.

As to the projectionist thing, there should always be a member of staff in the building who is at least partially trained to deal with minor problems or at least shut down a malfunctioning screening and move the audience to a different screen. I'm not sure if prolonging the existance of a projectionist job, where someone has to sit through movies constantly watching out for errors, is a step forward. The digital technology should be set up such that it can automatically detect what's needed given the screen size and the video format. I even know how to do that using a laptop and a plug in projector or screen and I'm not trained in any way. The software and technology is already there, it just has to be invested in and set up correctly, possibly checked at the beginning of each day. If a cinema is still using an old-fashioned projector system then they should certainly have more projectionists, but the solution is to encourage or compell them to switch to digital ASAP, as I think the picture quality and experience is actually better anyway - your talking about very high definition 4K digital frame files here - it's more detailed than most people's eyes can detect - if I'm paying £8.50 a ticket, I want the latest technology and a decent choice of films. I don't know which people they are surveying when deciding which films to screen, but it's no-one I know.

The customer sevice is of course terrible, such as the lack of a system for notifying staff when there is a problem in a screening e.g. an assistance button on the wall to alert staff to distracting behaviour or a projection failure. The food prices are also terrible - they have no-one but themselves to blame if they get hit harder during this recession, as they appear to be.

To see how Mark performed at the Oxford Playhouse last night see

My local cinema has 14 screens and I know for a fact that there's only 2, maybe 3, technicians working there in a shift.

I see a very interesting opportunity here.
It comes off the back of Mark's comment about investing in cinemas, rather
than production.
Perhaps what we need is a rethink of how films and their distributors liaise.
Think how different the cinema experience would be if the film makers, the big studios, had a definite investment in how a cinema chain presented their films.
To the extent that, if the projection was not perfect, the atmosphere not properly maintained, theatre-goers could reclaim their money from the studio. They would then be compelled to exert pressure on the cinema chains to make sure things were properly managed.
Just a thought ;)

Loving TGTB&TM. A couple of comments about 3D and subtitles, though. First, you can't have Cantonese *and* Mandarin subtitles: the written languages are the same. One result of this is that nearly everything here in Hong Kong is subtitled, so that whatever Chinese dialect you speak you can watch the film or tv programme. Clearly, 1.2 billion Chinese people can handle reading and watching a screen at the same time.

This is great but provides another reason to hate 3D. I first experienced this in the dreadful 'Avatar' which featured a little yellow picket fence of Chinese characters bobbing about in front of the screen for the whole of the movies 5 hour running time (okay, it just seemed that long). They seemed to be floating above the first row of seats. It was distracting and annoying in a way that subtitles aren't normally.

Keep up the wittertainment!

We have a great interview with Mark on our website here:

could not agree more, I despise the multiplex and would rather travel to see a film in an independant. My feelings are if cinemas were not such awful places there would be less pirarcy.

I worked as a Manager for Odeon for nearly 10 years and remember the very first digital projection taking place at 'The Cathedral' (Hollywood's nickname for the Odeon Leicester Square). It was a copy of 'A Bug's Life' and the projector was so expensive the cost was shared by Odeon and Disney. The reaction by the audience was very positive but the fear was always that this would spell the end of the technician in every 'box'.

Odeon, then part of the Rank organisation, ran the business so that local managers really did manage their own business and were not just glorified caretakers. You had to get customer service right. A Duty Manager was always front of house and we staffed so that we would have enough people around to show people to their seats once the screen had gone dark. We even had a policy where the first run of a new film was watched through by someone to ensure there were no problems with the print.

Technicians were not just trained to splice a film together, but they maintained the equipment, timed the tabs (curtains) and masking, ensured the beginning of the film was projected correctly for every performance and even set the mood by setting up the spot lights/gels in each theatre so it's a tragedy that these skilled people are now considered a cost to the cinema business and not an asset.

Having worked in the industry, the people who know me will all tell you I am a nightmare whenever I visit the cinema. I notice everything, sound or picture, and won't stand for a fault to continue. These days that means walking out and speaking to a member of staff around 20% of all films I go to see. I was shocked when the Vue opened in Camberely and they had not even bothered to fit masking to the screens! This means the edge of the film will always be fuzzy/blurred but the fact is that few people notice.

I still love being in a full house for a tense thriller or comedy but it's becoming harder to justify the cost for sub-standard service. A cinema has one purpose - to project a moving image, so you would think the people who own these businesses would consider it vital to their long term survival that they get this part right. It's a sad day when I can say my home set up gives me a better technical performance than the place purpose built for the job does.

well I have recently been trained up on projection at a multiplex cinema, we have 9 film and 3 digital screens, and the digital screens break. All the time, they are so temperamental, the latest was a lovely pink and green snow across the screen for no reason, and 3D is mostly terrible (although some animations play well with it).

Oh and we've had numerous 'subtitled' shows on digital that have had non existent text, easy to check with celluloid. Digital is not better. It is still a young technology that needs allot more improving before being trusted to run every showing through.

However regarding the complaints against projectionists, you must all go to terrible cinemas, as if there's ever a rack we sort it as soon as we are notified, same with ratio sound or timing (under threat of disciplinary action) all whilst making up and breaking down the new films for the next friday. And all films are previewed before public viewing to check for scratches, mistakes or anything else.
I do enjoy my job tho, no grumpy customers upstairs :)