At last - a chance to gloat
It's been a tough couple of days for English cricketers, fans and journalists in Brisbane.
All this mockery of the Poms does get a bit wearing.
But then finally it happened. Australian fielder Stuart Clark dropped an easy chance half an hour into Saturday's play and the boot, albeit briefly, was on the other foot.
Though not as ebullient as on day one, England's travelling fans continue to deck out the ground in personalised St George Cross flags.
For some reason, "Dave and Zoe on honeymoon" have swapped ends with the Preson North End crew today.
Looking around, most of the support is either from the south-east (Oxford, Reading, Gillingham) or the north-west (Oldham, Bury, Manchester).
That well-known hotbed of cricket, the Isle of Man, is also represented.
Just before I post this blog entry - there will be another at the end of the day - I cannot resist relaying my favourite interview in the local paper here.
The Courier Mail tracked down 49-yearold Tony Bridge, who sells a parking space outside his well-positioned property during the match.
He charges $15 (£6) for a space but it's different if he gets an England fan.
"If we get a Pommy in here, we charge them $30," he says.
"Maybe more if they've got that real plum Pommy accent. You know they're rich then."
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Has no-one told the Ozzies if they keep it up like this then it will all be over by day 3 and the GABBA will lose 2 days income.
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I used to live around the corner from the Gabba when I was in Oz...never sold my car park though.
Pop into the place I used to work, the Pineapple Hotel (pub) and ask Craig Singleton (the owner, little fella) for a skooner.
By the way.....any triumph this time round is going to be short lived I think.....gotta make the most of it.
Finally - what channel can I watch the cricket on in here? Am listening to the five live commentary, but I long for visual.
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The aussies won't be laughing at us when we beat them again...I refuse to be pessimistic! We will win, and those aussies will walk off with the losers medals again...walk off in shame!!
GO ENGLAND!!!
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I can't remember when I have been so disgusted about the lack of preparation by ANY England cricket team, not only by the players but by the back room staff as well. It was plain to see as sure as day follows night that the Aussies do not only want to beat England but wanted to humiliate us. It is no good talking up the players that are either not there or not being used for what ever reason - the fact remains that the ensuing humiliation is of our own making. The determination of the Aussies far outstrip anything that the England team can muster! I am embarrassed for English cricket.
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bodyline...that's what we need. If we can't bowl the convicts out then we should just knock them out.
Any takers???
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Having lived in Australia for 30 years and being a dedicated Englishman the torture never ends, my wife is Australian but she understands the situation and realises the tension which is about to unfold over the next couple of months. She will give me a bit of slack during this period and be very diplomatic when required.
But the Australian male is a different kettle of prawns, they are so scarred from the ashes defeat in England that winning the ashes here is paramount to their survival. England can beat this team because the Aussies are under more pressure, a second ashes defeat would be their ultimate downfall, hopefully doomed for ever.
I can then rest in peace.
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It is quite clear Bell has drastically improved his all-round game, yet he still isn't quite there with his decision making. Cannot fault his efforts though, well played in holding together a sinking ship!
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I fear that dropped catch will probably be the only opportunity for England to gloat in this match.
Then again, maybe Ricky Ponting's bizarre decision not to enforce the follow-on will give us a shot at redemption in the field.
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Hi Ollie
Best stay clear of those meters then mate!
Just watched the lowlights of what might loosely be described a batting performance - what a disgrace. Only Pietersen looked a tad unlucky as the replay showed it was missing off stump but I don't know what you'd say about the rest.
Ok, McGrath did what he does best, but what must really worry Fletcher is the likes of up-and-down Clark getting in amongst them.
Dom
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Bodyline?
I thought thats what Harmison was trying for first ball of the match.
He just forgot it was a left hander facing.
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Hi Dom
Guess it might be even hotter here than in Dubai at the moment.
Stuart Clark is one of those blokes who will always be under-rated. He took loads of wickets in South Africa and looks like he can bat too.
Take it easy
Ollie
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Classical, the Poms are hopless once again. The mark of a good team is consistancy, not a one off performance like last time. You were never going to beat us twice in a row. We're far too good for you. Sorry ol' chaps.
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Congrats to Oliver Brett (does he have a surname?) on finding something to gloat about. Interviewing your cricket selectors and tactical think tank might have provided readers with a bit more of a deserved insight into what is an undeniably poor start to this series. And mocking Poms a bit wearing? OB has never worn an Aussie shirt in a packed stand at Headingly or Old Trafford. My old cricketing mate in Sheffield is tearing his hair out over this latest start and he, unlike many of your bloggers, looks at skill, application and the tactics of the second "beautiful game" your country has produced. Draping hope in an England flag will not produce results. You need eleven Flintoffs. Otherwise I trust your coverage is good. Ours is great with the new "Hotshot" technology...and lastly I did see a bloke on TV at tea who looked and sounded very much like Ian Botham. After McGraths 6 for he uttered words to the effect that he was misquoted on the Dad's Army comment. Onya Beefy...too hot here..am off for a coldie and watch the 600 lead come up...
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Congrats to Oliver Brett (does he have a surname?) on finding something to gloat about. Interviewing your cricket selectors and tactical think tank might have provided readers with a bit more of a deserved insight into what is an undeniably poor start to this series. And mocking Poms a bit wearing? OB has never worn an Aussie shirt in a packed stand at Headingly or Old Trafford. My old cricketing mate in Sheffield is tearing his hair out over this latest start and he, unlike many of your bloggers, looks at skill, application and the tactics of the second "beautiful game" your country has produced. Draping hope in an England flag will not produce results. You need eleven Flintoffs. Otherwise I trust your coverage is good. Ours is great with the new "Hotshot" technology...and lastly I did see a bloke on TV at tea who looked and sounded very much like Ian Botham. After McGraths 6 for he uttered words to the effect that he was misquoted on the Dad's Army comment. Onya Beefy...too hot here..am off for a coldie and watch the 600 lead come up...
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How kind of the Aussies to extend play into the 4th day, a most kind gesture. How ironic that Giles got the 2nd highest score, good selection there Duncan!
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You're pretty pathetic with your email publication Ö÷²¥´óÐã.
You only publish what you want.
Tut, tut. Silly poms.
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Did anybody see the size of that inflatable ball ? That was *MASSIVE*. It's like England just bowled it all day.
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Our humiliation is directly due to management selection decisions in choosing too many players who want to be tourists and have only come for the ride and the winter sunny break and who find preparing for and playing in games breaks into and spoils their holiday
Added to the fact of allowing Harmison to dictate when he chooses to play (leaving him well undercooked for the biggest game of the tour which sets the tone for the next three months) and preferring Giles to Panesar means that we were doomed from the start to utter humiliation.
The way forward ?
1 Drop Giles and play a spinner - Panesar
2 Drop Jones and play a proper wicket keeper - Read
3 Make Harmison bowl at least 30 flat out overs in the nets every day of the week between Tests
4 Drop Anderson and realise the potenetial of Sajid
5 Realise Duncan Fletcher is a busted flush whose best days are well over and appoint a manager who cares
6 Pray hard that Vaughan will enjoy a miraculous recovery and be ready for the rest of the Test series
7 Inject rejuvenation cream in huge quantities into Lord Geoffrey Boycott and let the cringing upper order see what building an innings really means. (and this from a man who has only in the last week forgiven him for running out Derek Randall in his come back Test at Trent Bridge thirty years ago!!)
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Being Scottish I'm not really a big fan of cricket, neither am I bothered whether England win or lose the Ashes. I am a fan of this blog though.... it hilarious. Mr Brett you are a lyrical comic genius !!
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The Bellingen Bushman is right as far as mocking the opposition goes and Oliver Bretts comments re: the wearing nature of it all. It can be wearing, and even though it doesn't excuse the worst excesses of it, he should also look closer to home. I saw plenty of it at Edgbaston last year directed at individual spectators by groups of England fans and there was also some pretty unsavoury singing by a large section of a whole stand directed at events and people in Shane Warne's private life. Some of that was pretty out of order, but I was amazed it was never commented on by the media here (despite Warne's reaction to it) - I can only think this was because it didn't fit with the image that was being pushed of the "new supporters" that were flocking to the England cause and that it was also the stand occupied by a significant portion of that match's "Barmy Army".
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The pommies are going DOWN. 5-0 how embarrassing!
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I am working hard on a new national game. Only English people will be allowed to play. Australians, New Zealanders, South Africans etc may play it if they wish, just not against us.
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Spike,
You already have one, mate. Who else has major darts competitions? Go on, have another pint and fling those pointy things to your heart's content.
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Harmy's gone steadily down hill since Troy Cooley jumped ship. Anyone know anything about Kevin Shine?
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Keep the faith England fans, we'll be ok when we back to normal conditions melbourne sydney etc oggy will get shed loads of wickets
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Shed Loads of Wickets. I love it !
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Monday off? Will you be taking the team to the Steve Irwin Australia Zoo? Might be able to lose a couple at feeding time. Crikey!
Enjoying the column,
Regards, Dave
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No no no Richard Bullock, good idea but England have shown some grit during Sunday's first two sessions. England management cleary has a master plan and you should not change the current lineup. Adelaide will be an easier proposition with short square boundaries more suited to England's batsmen. The long boundaries behind the wicket will mean less boundary byes when Jones misses. Sure the wicket might turn but why include Monty when he has no test match experience in Australia? And despite the fact that Vaughan is fit and practising solidly in the nets at the Gabbatoir he cant be risked. And who would be game to take the Captains armband from Freddie? 18 months ago England, as Fleet Street assured us, were world champs at almost everything...trust me don't change your approach...you are historically not good at it....good luck in Adelaide
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Oliver,
If only you knew how true your words are.
'That well known hotbed of cricket, the Isle of Man, is also represented.'
Putting aside the tones of light mockery and sarcasm in your words - you are in fact quite right.
The Isle of Man is indeed a hotbed of cricket. Why only last month we beat Spain twice in La Manga. All in preparation for the Group 3 ICC tournament next year, where the Island will be competing against the likes of Greece and Norway.
Not bad for an Island of 75,000 people. I reckon we could do better than England at present anyway!
Cheers
Yatesy
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I'm sure I'm not the only one to find it irritating when the Australian commenators insist on putting the number of wickets fallen before the runs scored for a side's innings.
For example, in England's innings one of them (Maxwell) said it was 6 for 500, when if it is England's innings then the number of runs scored by England should be said first, and not the number of wickets taken by Australia.
Jim Maxwell then said England have scored 500 runs but would not say in the same breath for how many wickets, because that was the English (and all other countries' way) of stating the score. Instead he left it a few seconds and then announced that the score was 6 for 501, and not that England had made 501 for the price of 6 wickets!
Why do they singularly and stubbornly insist on telling the score in the opposite way to all other Test playing nations?
As the worldwide cricketing fraternity is quite small why then can a uniform way of telling the score not be agreed upon. If nothing else the Australian way does not make any sense, because an innings is always that of the batting side and not the bowling side. A bowlers figures ARE read out in this way, eg Shane Warne took 6 for 70 etc. So therefore this cannot be the case for a side's batting score, simply because they are batting not bowling.
If any side is bowling it isn't THEIR innings (as the Australian way suggests) but the side batting which has historically always been the case, and which any cricket follower knows.
The Australian way is both annoying and nonsensical.
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